Fading Darkness (Bloodmarked #1) (34 page)

I peered into his eyes and got caught in his
gaze. And for curiosity’s sake, I tried again. “What are you?” I asked, not
expecting an answer.

“It would be too difficult to explain
without telling you everything, and I’m still not convinced you could handle
everything,” he replied as he turned back toward his chair.

“That’s what I thought,” I said tiredly. No
surprise there.

I ran passed him, eager to plant myself on
my spot and forget about all this heaviness for tonight. If I thought too hard
about it all, I would get worked up and want to go out and kick some vampire
ass. I promised Holly’s dad I would lie low, for a while.

I barely made it passed him when Gavin
plucked me out of mid run, yanking me back toward him. I slammed against his
chest in the back spring. My teeth clacked together, and just before I could
give him a good verbal beating, he leaned in so fast and got so close that it
made me catch my breath.

He first stuck his nose in my loose up-do.
Then, as he inhaled, his nose traced down my neck. I felt the light brush of
his upper lip against the hollow at the base of my neck. It was disturbing how
his lightest touch sent my super senses into a frenzy. I was very aware of his
lips, his breath. He breathed in deep when he got to my collar bone, and his
head came back up after stopping at my shoulder.

“What the hell? Personal space,” I chastised
when I found my voice again.

“You fought,” he accused.

“No, I didn’t. I stayed under the radar,
just like you wanted,” I said.

“Then, why, Miss Masters, do you reek of
vampire?” he asked. The look on his face was menacing, and I didn’t like the
way he used my surname. “What other reason would you have for smelling like
them? Unless, you’re cozying up to them now,” he said calmly, but there was
something dangerous behind the calm, something I didn’t think I wanted to see
surface.

Shit. Way to go Shane. “Maybe I am. Keep
friends close and enemies closer, right?”

“Is that what you think of me, too? You
better not be playing me, Lucille. If I find out you’re working another angle,
against me,-”

“You’ll what, kill me?” I scoffed. “I
thought you would never do that.”

“Of course I wouldn’t kill you, but I
guarantee you wouldn’t like what I did to you.” He stepped closer, and I backed
up until my back came up against the thick shelving of the built in bookshelf
on the same wall as the fireplace. He laid his hand gently on my cheek, but it
wasn’t a sign of affection. It was his way of saying he had me right where he
wanted me and could easily go from being nice, to playing rough. Even though I
like occasional roughness, I wasn’t ready to find out what he had in mind.

“Why does it matter, anyway? I’m doing
everything you tell me,” I stated. He laughed at that, and it seemed like his
usual lightness was back. “Mostly everything,” I corrected. “Are you jealous,
or something?”

“Ha. I wouldn’t waste my time with such a
petty emotion. I just want to make sure we’re on the same side,” he replied
evenly, almost too evenly, like he was trying extra hard not to reveal
anything.

“We are, as long as you’re on my side. Tell
me. Why is it that it’s okay for you to keep things from me, but when it comes
to me not telling you anything, you get suspicious of me?”

“Because you still don’t trust me, and that
makes you capable of betrayal,” he said.

“Ha. Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle
black? Obviously, you’re having some trust issues of your own. How am I
supposed to learn to trust you when you can’t trust me?”

“It’s not you I don’t trust. It’s what you
don’t know and who you’re hanging out with. Your ignorance makes you
susceptible to just about anyone who offers you information.”

“Gee, I wonder why I’d want information.
Maybe because someone never gives me any,” I accused.

“You are extremely sensitive to certain
subjects, in case you haven’t noticed. Finding out certain things too soon
could be dangerous for you,” he said.

“That made no sense, whatsoever. Why would
it be dangerous?”

“Because if you handled it badly, your anger
could get the best of you, and you could put your trust in the wrong person,”
he explained cryptically.

“Still not making sense, but you’re wrong
about that last part. You know, the trust part? I don’t have any trust in me to
put in someone to begin with, so we’re good.”

“We’re good as long as you’re careful of who
you spend your time with,” he said icily.

I stood up on my tip toes to get closer when
I whispered, “Are you sure you’re not jealous?” I knew I was taunting him, but
it was nearly impossible to pass up the opportunity to get a rise out of him.

He placed a hand on my stomach to hold me to
the shelves as he came a breath away from my face. “I told you. I don’t do
petty emotions, or games, so if you insist on teasing me in this fashion, I’ll
warn you, you’re playing with fire. You may think I have unlimited control, but
I’m still a man, and if you keep testing it, you’ll suffer the consequences,”
he said in a clipped tone, like he was fighting to maintain control right now.

“You’d force yourself on me?” I breathed, not
trusting my voice.

“No. First, I’d make you want it.”

To drive his point home, he stepped closer,
letting me feel the entire length of his hard body against mine, emphasis on
hard. I drew in a quick breath of surprise and felt chills crawl up and down my
spine. Those chills were frightening and unnerving. I didn’t know if they were
out of fear, or pleasure. If I set my body free of my mind, I was afraid of
what it might do in this instant. But I kept it firmly planted where it was.

When he finally backed away, the tension in
my muscles broke, and I nearly fell to the floor. I stumbled forward but
managed to straighten up enough to make it to my room. When I lied on my bed, I
could still feel the stiffness in each and every muscle. My body still screamed
at me for something it would never have, someone I should never want.

I squirmed in my bed all night long, unable
to get the feel of him off me. My skin had traitorously memorized his touch,
while my body deceitfully begged for more of it. For the longest time, I can
only remember fighting for control, mostly over myself. It’s why I never wanted
to hear the truth about myself. Even though my heart knows what’s true deep
down, I still couldn’t bring myself to listen. If I heard, truly heard the
truth about me, I might just lose it. And while I’m being honest, I had to
admit, I wasn’t the most stable person to begin with.

Gavin was right. I didn’t think I was ready
for the truth. And when I was with him, I already felt like I was slipping over
the edge and barely hanging on, not quite ready to let go of the tiny grasp on
self-control I had left. Admitting the truth to myself would definitely send
me, or hurdle me, over the edge. So for now, thoughts of my future, my
feelings, and my destiny to take out the entire vampire race were being locked
up in an airtight box and shoved to the dark dusty corner of my mind that never
sees the light of consciousness. Once they were locked up airtight, I slept.

When I woke up, I had successfully regained
my good senses,
good
being a subjective term. He wasn’t up yet, so I
waited around all day watching the news for anything that would get me off the
hook, but by the time the sun set, and the evening news finished, there was
nothing new on the murders. I took that as the answer to my burning question of
whether or not I could get back out there. That was a big
no
.

Unfortunately, Gavin had come out of his
bedroom just in time to catch the news, so I had another person to tell me what
not to do tonight. Perfect. I hadn’t even asked about going out tonight, and I
already wanted to escape the looming rejection that hung in the thick air
between us. That impending let down pushed me all the way out onto the freezing
cold concrete balcony.

I peered down onto the dark city below
dotted with lights like fireflies. They glowed through the fine frost in the
atmosphere making them blur and shimmer like stars in the night sky. The view
from above, however, did not reflect this one. When looking up at the sky,
there was too much cloud cover to see any stars. The moon faintly shown through
the clouds with a dim pallor, making it look so sick like it was on its death
bed. Even the moon was begging to be saved tonight.

 It was so unfair that I had to stay in
while the real enemies were free to roam the streets killing whomever they
wanted. That was it. Once I made my resolve, I tromped back into the living
room where he stood behind the couch, eyes on me, like he was watching me the
whole time. He must have taken a call because the hand holding his cell phone
slipped into his pant pocket. I had an idea, but I needed to make him
understand.

He stood still, arms crossed, eyes still
carefully on me, almost calculating. He was waiting for me to speak but I could
tell he was trying to guess what I would say, or maybe he was trying to guess
what the argument would be about this time.

“I want to burn down the night club,” I
blurted out.

He blinked once. There was no other
reaction. Maybe I jumped the gun on that one a little, but I couldn’t hold back.
I didn’t want to waste time explaining when I could be out there putting my
plan into action.

“No,” he said simply.

“Predictable, but you could at least wait
and hear me out first,” I said calmly.

“Our goal is to keep you off the radar, and
you want to remind the public that you’re not just a murderer, but an arsonist
as well. You don’t need the added attention, especially since they seem to have
forgotten about your last adventure as a pyromaniac.”

“That’s just the point. If I can pull it off
without being seen, the attention would be shifted from me to this, and I’d get
to screw over this ghost vampire at the same time,” I pleaded.

“It may be a plan to take human attention
off you, but you can’t afford any other kind of attention either.”

I exploded. “God, I am so sick of answering
to someone! I don’t need a parent now. I’ve done just fine without one my whole
life. I’m going there whether you want to or not!” I screamed.

He measured me a moment before saying
anything. “I’m sorry. You’re right. You’re a grown woman, maybe with the
maturity level of an adolescent girl, but I know you are capable of amazing
things. I can’t help but worrying about your safety, but you can’t just go in
and burn down the night club,” he said with finality.

It pissed me off, so I ranted. “Are you effing
kidding me?”

But before I got any further, he cut me off.
“You could at least wait and hear me out,” he mocked in a falsetto voice. “I
said you can’t burn it down. It could still come in handy.”

I processed what he was saying, and I felt
my eyes bulge and a smile spread across my face. “We’re going out?”

“Yes, but I need to make some arrangements
first. Go fix your hair and get ready,” he said as he pulled out his phone
again.

“What?” I was about to argue, but he shot me
a look that said there was no negotiating. “What’s wrong with my hair?” I asked
instead of arguing.

“Nothing, if you’re going for the bedhead
look, which is actually a very, very good look on you,” he said, with hunger in
his voice. I turned away as some of the memories from last night came back to
me.

“Well, what am I supposed to wear?” I asked,
reluctantly looking back at him.

“I’ll take care of it,” he said turning away
with his phone to his ear in a way that said,
No more questions
.

†

Three hours later, we were standing in line
at the night club, waiting with everyone else to get in. I was cold. Gavin had
called in a favor to get me an outfit for our big date. It was blue and left
little to the imagination. Enough said. He had insisted I eat before leaving, and
by the time I was done showering and figuring out the puzzle of hair and
makeup, we finally left.

He also insisted we wait the inconspicuous
way, like everyone else, instead of sneaking in the back. He said that they
would notice us either way, but they wouldn’t do anything to cause a scene so
long as we didn’t provoke them. We were just here to check things out and not
start trouble. He didn’t think the ghost would be here. This place has gotten
too risky for him.

With each step closer to the entrance, the
music pulsed louder in a steady rhythm like a heartbeat, which made me acutely
aware of my own heart pounding wildly out of my chest. My anticipation was
about a half a heartbeat faster than the throbbing bass. It was part nerves
too. The longer I stood here, the more of a chance there was someone might
recognize me. Gavin had assured me that was what my makeup was for.

“No one will suspect a hot girl of
committing murder,” he said. Well, I paraphrased, but it was something similar.

Looking up at him now, I saw the confidence
in his features, the hard set of his jaw line and the focused look in his eyes.
He really believed I wouldn’t be noticed. I was beginning to think he was
crazy. He looked at me then.

“Are you sure no one will recognize me?” I
repeated.

“Yes. These people came here to have a good
time and get away from all the troubles in the world. They won’t be watching
out for murderers. Even if someone thinks you look familiar, they wouldn’t put
two and two together. The connection is too far off from how you look now and
this particular situation.”

“I’m not sure I follow that logic, if you
can even call it that,” I retorted.

“Regardless, no one will think you’re a
killer, even if that dress is lethal,” he said, eyeing me up and down with a
devilish grin.

“Piss off,” I said with an exasperated sigh.

He laughed. “They’re human. I promise they
won’t make the connection.”

“Why are you always so quick to discredit
humans? Or don’t you remember, you used to be one, even if it was a long, long
time ago,” I reminded him.

He laughed again. “Ouch,” he mumbled under
his breath.

“What about the doorman? He has to check my
ID? I knew we should have just snuck in,” I protested.

“You wanted to come. Besides, he’s not going
to be paying attention to your ID with you looking like that. You better hope
he’s not, anyway.”

I sighed again, annoyed with this whole
carefree bullshit he was putting on.

“Look, if you’re that worried, you could
just flirt with him. Be that charming girl I know is in there somewhere, deep
down. Way, way deep down.”

He was being condescending. “Don’t patronize
me. It’s not like you’re the poster boy for sweet and innocent.”

The line moved and I shuffled forward like
the rest of the girls clad in skimpy outfits, my arms around myself as my hands
rubbed them furiously. He stepped closer behind me and wrapped his arms around
me. I wanted to protest, but he was so warm, so instead I leaned back.

The effects of his proximity were
instantaneous. Not only did I stop shivering, but the feel of his slow, steady
heartbeat thumped through my back into my own chest until I felt my own heart
slow to match. He was calming. I hated that he could have such an effect on my
homeostasis, but I was oddly grateful tonight, even though every muscle in my
body fought the urge to lean fully back into his and tilt my head back onto his
shoulder, letting my eyes drift close with the relaxation of his protective
embrace. The thought of succumbing to that embrace had to be enough to comfort
me and my frayed nerves right now because I had to be strong enough to do this
on my own without succumbing to anything.

The line moved forward and the big brawny bouncer
with the high and tight cut came into view. For a second I was nervous, not
that he would recognize me, but that he might spot my fake ID as a fake and we
wouldn’t get in. But then I remembered we could just sneak in the back.

The heels I was wearing were a half size too
big, and as soon as I took a step forward, my heel slipped out the back and
came back down, smashing the back of it under my weight. I nearly tripped
forward, but Gavin gripped my waist to steady me before that happened. The guys
behind us laughed and commented on how wasted I must have been, which was
ironic considering that they reeked of beer and cigarettes.

I shuffled over to the wall and placed my
palm against the cold rough brick to steady myself while I brought my leg up
skillfully so as not to have a wardrobe malfunction. At least I had on
underwear. I slipped a finger under my heel and hooked it beneath the back of
my pump to pull it upright. Once my foot was rightfully in its shoe, we moved
toward the door.

As I approached the bouncer a step ahead of
Gavin, I looked down pretending to fumble for my ID in my clutch, giving him
enough time to check out all the cleavage I was sporting with the Victoria’s
Secret pushup Gavin insisted I wear. I wasn’t particularly proud of myself for
all this, but Gavin didn’t want to take any chances of being spotted sneaking
in. The more normal we looked, the better we blended in. I still wasn’t
convinced he wasn’t playing a big joke on me. In this particular moment, he was
getting the last laugh.

When I looked up into the stone cold stare
of the bouncer, I flashed the brightest smile I could manage as I handed him my
ID.

“Brrr, it’s so cold out here,” I said in an
attempt at distraction. He briefly glanced my way, but looked back toward my
ID.

Turning on more charm, I hedged forward,
“Hope it’s hot in there, really hot, because I’m looking to break a sweat.”

Behind me, Gavin cleared his throat.
What?
It wasn’t like I had a lot of practice with shameless flirting. By then,
the bouncer gave me another uninterested, bored look and jerked his head toward
the entrance. I was in.

Gavin followed shortly behind, and I was tempted
to check out his ID. I wondered what his date of birth said. We moved forward
casually, as we swiftly avoided various liquids splashing through the air.

He just had to take a moment to tease me. He
bent down and squeezed me from behind, leaning in so that his lips touched the
back of my ear, which did crazy things to my nerves. His arms completely
encircled me and his hands gently rubbed the tops of my arms. “Is it hot enough
in here for you?” he whispered into my ear, his breath tickling the sensitive
skin just underneath it.

I jumped at the light contact and threw an
elbow back, nailing him in the ribs. I swiveled my head back to scold him face
to face with a hard look. “Shut up.” He grinned smugly.

We continued through the masses. Bumping
around through a crowd of drunk people was like taking an alcoholic shower,
which must, in all cases, be immediately followed by an actual shower. Once we
made it passed the bottleneck and into the main area of the club, we were
greeted with a sea of swaying bodies moving clumsily to the beat of the music
coming from speakers that drowned out every other sound. They sounded as if
they would explode any moment.

Gavin took the lead, along with the brunt of
spilt beer and collisions with intoxicated people. The fact that most of these
people will still be standing hours from now still amazed me. The one time I
got drunk, I passed out shortly after. Visions of that night reminded of what
occurred before I passed out, and I quickly shook off the unwanted flashback.

Thinking of Gavin’s lips on mine was a bad
idea, and it didn’t help matters that he always seemed to know when I was
thinking about it. We moved toward a table near the far wall, but not before
some guy came up and hooked an arm around my waist in attempt to coax me to the
dance floor. Gavin spun faster than I could react, but the hard set of his jaw
and flared nostrils told me he would not be as forgiving as me. Before he could
act further I held a hand up to stop him and turned on the guy.

“Hey baby, let’s dance. Tell your man to sit
this one out,” he slurred.

Quickly spinning out of his grip, I grabbed
his wrist that used to be around me and pushed his hand away. “Listen,
baby
,”
I mocked. “I don’t want to dance, and speaking for most women, we’re not just a
bunch of party favors to be passed back and forth between drunken tools such as
yourself.” I was seething. I expected disrespectful and horrible treatment from
vampires because they had no souls, but sometimes, drunk human boys were just
as bad.

“Bitch,” he mouthed before turning to go.

When I turned back to Gavin, he was smiling
and staring at me with admiration. “What?” I asked angrily. “I can take care of
myself, you know. Just because you’re some badass vampire stud, doesn’t mean
you have to take charge and step in every time there’s trouble.”

“Sorry. Saving you has become habit. I guess
I can’t seem to break it,” he replied. He tugged me forward by my arm. “Come
on. Let’s get you out of the danger zone before I have to fight off every guy
in here for your attention.”