Fading Darkness (Bloodmarked #1) (15 page)

“Don’t flatter yourself. I was just checking
to see if you managed to get any more bullet holes in the short time it took
you to get home. I don’t usually go for childish little girls with no self-respect,”
he said coldly.

Something burned inside my throat and I
choked on it. He had just reduced me to a slutty doe-eyed girl in only a few
words. He was still a cold hearted monster, and a part of me forgot that, but
his eyes said it all, and I wouldn’t forget it again.

Suddenly, an overwhelming sense of regret
poured through me, accompanied by that strange vertigo and all-over numbness. I
wasn’t sure where it was coming from, because it wasn’t exactly in sync with
the other emotions coursing through me. It was running on a completely
different frequency than the others. Could it actually be coming from him?

“Maybe it’s you that wants me,” he said
watching me, like he was waiting for me to reveal something. He had my wrists
in his hands against the wall before I could blink, and he leaned in, only a
thin veil of air separating our lips. He lowered his voice to a whisper. “You
shouldn’t be distracted by anything as inconsequential as sex. I need you to be
focused on staying alive.”

“Why? What the hell do you need me alive
for? What’s in it for you to protect me?” I felt my rage growing to match his.
My face was getting hotter as things got… well, heated, and I wasn’t sure it
was just anger in the air tonight.

“You’re not ready to hear that,” he paused
before adding, “You’re not ready to hear a lot of things,” he said more to
himself as he let go of me and some of the tension dissipated. He looked down
at my lips once more before returning my gaze.

“You can’t handle the answers to all those
questions you have,” he said softly as he placed a hand to the side of my head running
it slowly down my cheek in a sign of compassion.

I turned my head away from his hand quickly.
I didn’t want his sympathy for being so ignorant. He smiled at my defiance. He
didn’t seem to mind my stubbornness as much when I wasn’t risking my life.

“Get out of my apartment,” I said
emotionlessly. Arguing with him took a lot out of me, and I just needed to
escape from it all.

He tensed again, and his eyes almost seemed
hurt. Then he added, “I’m sorry for intruding. I don’t want to be cruel, but
you need to take this seriously. I need you to understand how important you
are,” he stopped short like he was about to reveal too much. What the hell was
he talking about? “Oh, and don’t worry about the car. I’ll take care of it.”

Of course you would
.

He turned to walk toward the door and looked
back once more. I caught his eyes flashing up and down my body and said again
without thinking, “Checking for more bullet holes? Sure you don’t want me?”

Oh my God, what was I doing? I think there
was even a suggestive tone in my voice, and much more confidence than I thought
I had, at least when it came to anything other than killing.

He smiled slyly before saying, “Sure you
don’t want
me
?”

“No,” I said immediately, trying to regain
some sanity.

His eyes shined with enlightenment as if
something dawned on him. “Then that’s your answer. Remember, I told you there
are a lot of answers you’re not ready for,” he said with a little of that
intensity he got with me sometimes that my entire being told me was pure
unguarded honesty, but then, he recently reminded me I didn’t listen to my
instincts any more. That was because they tended to lie to me, telling me
things were ok when they were not, that certain vampires were good when they
were not.

Then he was gone, and I felt like I had just
been stripped bare, not just because I was literally stripped nearly bare. It
felt like he was searching for something in me and found it, but I still
couldn’t see it.

I ran to the door after he had gone and
rational thinking returned to me. Yanking the front door open to a gust of
frosty air in my face that sent chills down my entire body, I shouted into the
empty parking lot, “I’m coming for some of those answers!”

I didn’t have to see him to know he was
still out there. He needed to be prepared for a visit tomorrow night, because
he had just reminded me once again of how little I knew about the dark world
around me, the one to which I would inevitably and permanently belong one day.
It was the only place for freaks like me.

It was around noon when I returned Holly’s
car to her. And of course, it was as good as new when I woke up. I don’t know
how he did it, and I didn’t care because I had other things to worry about.

I was there over an hour trying to talk Holly
into staying in tonight. She was pissed about not going out on a Saturday night,
because according to her, it had been forever since she went out. By the time I
finally did talk her into staying in and away from danger, it had begun snowing
outside. The best part about the cold weather was that most people tended to
stay indoors.

I left Holly’s apartment and decided it
would be a good day for a walk around Forest Park, people free. I put my coat
on and headed into the frigid outdoors.

With my hands tucked in my pockets I
strolled leisurely down winding paths which were gradually disappearing under
thin blankets of snow. I stopped at the Jewel Box and admired the way the sun
glinted off the different glass panes. It was basically a big solarium filled
with several kinds of plants, and I never took interest in anything like that
before, but for some reason, I could see the beauty in it today.

Normally, I could only spot a sad sort of
beauty in things because I could always relate to things like tragedy and
death, but there was no death or tragedy here, just an appreciation of one of the
simple things in life. Weird. I didn’t know I was capable of that.

I spent the rest of the day-lit hours
wondering around town noticing things I took for granted before. All the sights
and sounds of the city were a part of a very precious world, one in which I
knew I would never fit, but one worth protecting none the less. I tried seeing
things from a more human point of view because seeing it from their
perspectives might remind me why their lives were so valuable. I save people
because I owed my life to those lives I corrupted or had some part in
destroying, but I’m beginning to see more of the things that make those lives
worth living. I didn’t need one, but I also didn’t mind another excuse for
killing demons.

†

Patience wasn’t a virtue that came easily
for me, and the minute the sun fell below the horizon, I found myself in the
lobby of the gothic tower arguing with the obnoxiously smug receptionist who
already hated me from my last intrusion. I lost the code to Gavin’s floor, and
he wasn’t being very forthcoming. After a few threats, he let me by, saying I
was Mr. West’s problem.

It didn’t matter that I was unannounced. I
had a feeling he knew I was coming so I skipped the knocking, let myself in and
plopped down on my usual spot in the humungous living room. The fire place was
already lit, and the music was once again playing. Was he listening to
Of
Monsters and Men
? I still wasn’t sure if that was more to make me feel
welcome or if he really liked living a more human lifestyle.

“Right on schedule,” his voice coming from
behind me seemed light, as if it were a joke. I heard the smile in it, and as
he came around the couch, I turned my head to meet his gaze but my eyes, again,
got stuck on the very naked torso with thousands of ripples. My mind started
racing and I was barraged with images of a bed and tangled sheets and that body
doing very naughty things with my body.
Gah
!

“Do you have to be half naked every time I
come over?” I said irritated, after finally meeting his eyes.

“Does it really bother you? Are you sure you
don’t want me?” he taunted with that sensual slow half turned smile.

“Very mature. And you say I’m the childish
one. Oh, but to answer your question, eww. No,” I said quickly to avoid that
whole conversation. I didn’t need a repeat of last night, especially if he was
planning on using his proximity or his nudity to test my reaction.

“Really? Because your eyes seem to disagree,”
he said smoothly.

“Arrogant asshole,” I muttered.

“Oh. Asshole. That’s what, three steps up
from
vampire
? We’re making progress,” he said, his eyes turning a very
light shade of blue. There was definitely something otherworldly about them,
and I had to be careful not to get mesmerized.

“We’re not making anything together, so put
a shirt on. This is strictly business, remember? So keep it professional,” I
said firmly.

“Ok, well if you insist on getting down to
business,” he raised his hands in an innocent gesture. I didn’t miss the double
meaning, but he was far from innocent. “Then why don’t you take a look at
this.”

He tossed a newspaper on the coffee table in
front of me, and I looked at him questioningly. Did he want me to do a little
light reading before he answered my questions?

“Mmmm, I’ll pass. I don’t need reading
material. It’s not going to take you that long to go put a shirt on.”

He left a light breeze as he rushed out and
back in with a shirt on, and when he returned, he wore a more serious expression.
His hand went down hard on the front page of the paper with his index finger
pointing at a headline that read “Mysterious Suicides Baffle Police.”

“Oh my God,” I whispered under my breath. I
caught the headline below it that mentioned something about more missing
persons. “Why are you shoving this at me, though? I thought you were going to
look into it. You know I don’t know what’s going on,” I said defensively. The
way he looked at me was like he was accusing me of being responsible for all of
this.

“I know. I was supposed to be looking into
all this, and I would have last night if you hadn’t been so-”

“-Whoa, stop right there. I didn’t ask for
your help last night-”

“-But you always seem to benefit from it,
don’t y-”

“-and second of all, I didn’t even need your
help because I didn’t have any problems.”

“Oh, getting shot isn’t a problem?”

“I’m still alive, and it’s not like you
being there would have changed the situation-

“But you not being there would have helped
that situation a lot!”

 “I had a plan. Maybe not the most
thought-out one, but believe it or not, I wasn’t completely reckless for once!”

Our screaming match was intensifying as I
stood to get in his face. I wasn’t backing down because I knew I was right this
time. He seemed to realize this at the same time, because his face mellowed and
he took a step back and sat in his usual chair, as if to reinstate civility
into the conversation. I took a few calming breaths before returning to my
spot.

“If you want to figure all this out then you
are going to have to learn how to work with me,” he said intently. “As in
together,” he said to drive his point home. “You need to let me in on these
things.”

“I get it, but you can’t keep putting me in
the dark. I need answers,” I demanded.

“You’re the only one that keeps you in the
dark,” he said.

“Fair enough, but there are some things that
I should know. Know thy enemy, right?”

“Yes, but the problem with that is that you
think everyone is the enemy, including yourself, so where do I draw the line of
information if you can’t handle it? You need to start accepting what you are.”

“Just start talking. Believe me, I’ll let
you know if I don’t want to hear it,” I said wearily. I dipped my head to avoid
eye contact before asking the question I wasn’t sure I ever wanted answered.
“Am I going to become one of you?”

I lifted my head to look in his eyes, still
not wanting the truth but unable to avoid it any longer, especially after I
just started to get back to those simple pleasures in life, pleasures that
monsters didn’t take time to enjoy.

He was torn with the decision whether or not
to tell me, but he spoke slowly and carefully, “You’ve seen it before haven’t
you? The transformation?”

“Yeah, but I don’t understand why it only
happens to some people.”

“Yes. It does only happen to certain people.
Vampires are people who were born with the ability to change. It’s in their
blood from the beginning, like some are born with blue eyes or curly hair. It’s
like a vampire gene. The change only occurs in people of the right age too. You
never see any child vampires or elderly vampires, do you? That’s because humans
have to be in top condition at the time of transformation. Their bodies need to
be strong and healthy enough to make the transition, even though it initially requires
them to be drained of blood. A person with the vampire gene who incurs severe
blood loss at the optimum age will either die or they can choose to keep living
their immortal lives by taking blood from other humans to sustain that
immortality.”

“So I really can die?” I asked hopefully.

“Well, technically that’s how it works, but
I have never seen a person with the inherent vampire ability actually die. Once
the mortal life ends, the vampire within takes over and the need for blood
becomes so overwhelming that it consumes the person, leaving them with no other
choice but to give in to that side of their nature.”

“So I will become a full-blown bloodsucker?”
I said, not needing his confirmation to confirm what my gut told me was true
all along.

“Not unless you plan on dying any time
soon,” he looked at me like he was chastising me.

“Right.” I guess I had a reason to stay
alive after all, but I was hardly human. “So, if you have to be drained of
blood before you become a vampire, how did I become this hybrid? I know it
happened during birth with some sort of, what did you call it, indirect blood
transfer? I still want to find the bastard that killed her and rip his head
off.”

He tried covering the answers from his face
and thought carefully before speaking. We had attempted this conversation
before and it didn’t go well. “My guess is that she was bitten and lost too
much blood, which should have killed you. The only possible hope you had was to
be given more blood, but I’m still amazed something like that would work,” he
said almost in awe. “You’re definitely stronger than I give you credit for, but
then again, there is no one else like you. You are completely unique.”

I was about to go inside myself to find the
monster within and beat the hell out of it before he said that last part. That
made me smile a little and come back to the matter at hand. I hated myself for
surviving when my mother was suffering, but I would use that supernatural
strength to continue the battle against the darkness that was responsible for
her untimely end.

“So where would I have gotten the blood
then, like a transfusion at the hospital?” I asked.

“Something like that,” he said distracted,
like he wasn’t paying attention anymore. He must have still been caught up on
contemplating my uniqueness. Something in the way he said that about me made me
wonder just how unique I was. Of course he wouldn’t tell me everything. I
assumed he was done with the answers. If he thought this was something I
couldn’t handle, I was pretty sure it was bad.

I felt some of the pent up aggression that
had been dormant these past few days bubbling to the surface, and I just needed
to get back out there and take it out on some vampires. He looked at me
sharply, and I saw him coming back to the conversation. I was sure he knew what
I was thinking, like always.

“You’re not going out there alone,” he said
matter-of-factly. The scowl on my face must have given away my annoyance
because he added, “You should get used to the idea of working together. If you
don’t, then I guess I will have to follow you around every second of the night,
without a single free moment.” His voice was joking, but I think he was
serious. Chills ran down my spine at the thought.

“You already stalk me. How would that be any
different?” I shot back.

“Cute. Would you like to experience the
difference first hand?” he teased.

“Don’t even think about it. I see more of
you than I’d like already,” I said with an image of him shirtless burned into
memory, and I quickly blinked it away.

“Or you’ll what? Do you honestly think you
could stop me?” he challenged, even standing and taking a step closer to me. Sometimes
he acted like some hot-headed college guy. Testosterone levels must not change
much when one becomes a vampire.

I wasn’t intimidated. Maybe I couldn’t take
him, but there was no way I would back down from a fight. I lunged at him
trying to catch him off guard. It worked because as I threw my forearm up and
shoved my body weight at him with all my might, we tumbled to the ground. The
coffee table couldn’t hold the weight of us and collapsed under pressure, and I
brought my forearm up to his throat to cut off his breath. Not that he needed
it.

While I had him pinned, I managed to get
exactly one and a half punches in before he turned it around instantly. One
moment I was on top with a fist cocked back, and in a flash of motion even my
super senses couldn’t quite comprehend, I was underneath his large and very
heavy frame. He crushed me with his weight, and one hand had both my hands
locked in place above my head. The other was at my throat but held a
feather-light grasp around my neck. His index finger traced the bottom of my
jaw line and found its way to the pounding pulse in my neck.

My heartbeat was erratic and out of control,
and he knew he had just made his point. He looked at me to make sure I
understood. I couldn’t stop him from following me if I wanted to, so I would
just have to suck it up and work with him. But I didn’t have to enjoy it.

I shifted uncomfortably underneath him, but
before I had time to say anything, he jumped up and pulled me along with him by
my upper arms.

“You should save some of that fight for the
others,” he suggested. “Maybe you would eliminate your real enemies if you
focused less on fighting me.”

“There’s plenty of fight in me to go around.
Believe me, this isn’t over. I always have enough fight left for you. We’ll
finish this later,” I said.