Fading Darkness (Bloodmarked #1) (38 page)

It was hard to shake the thoughts of last
night when it was the only theory about Gavin that made sense to me. He was a
vampire. He had to have some sort of selfish motive for helping me. I knew this
all along, so why should it bother me so much now?

Get over it, Lucy, and focus. You still
have a job to do and you need his help.
Because let’s face it, I was in too
deep now, and there was no way to just give up. Besides, if he could use me, I
could use him. Nothing’s changed. I still couldn’t trust him.

After shoving down all the misperception and
strange new feelings that had begun developing since Gavin walked into my life,
along with my pathetic excuse for a Denver omelet I made, I regained that cool
professional attitude I once had when dealing with him. I thought of my
parents, my brother, all the people who need me to fight against evil
bloodsucking vampires. Gavin was no exception. He couldn’t be, and I wouldn’t
let him be the exception.

The next few days dragged on with agonizing
slowness and boredom. I hadn’t seen Gavin since the night after I had my dream.
I had come back from a day of wandering aimlessly around the city and was
headed down the hall to my guest room when he stepped out of his bedroom. I had
every intention of ignoring his presence all together, but then he stopped in
front of my door. He regarded me a moment as he took in my nonchalant demeanor
before saying, “Everything okay with you?”

“Peachy,” I said in a mild tone. He gave me
a knowing look and nod as if already sensing the newly revised professional
relationship I was trying to reestablish between us.

He measured me a while, taking a reading of
my emotional status then said, “I’ll let you know when I find out more about
the assassins’ plans. Please stay inside during the dark hours.” There was a
tone in his voice that matched my coolness, but I thought there was something
else in it, something that sounded like genuine concern. I tried searching his
eyes, but he avoided my gaze and moved away from my door. I suppressed that
curiosity before swerving into my room and shutting the door. I thought I could
feel him outside my door moments later. I had that strange feeling of being
watched.

There were other times over those few days
when I had similar feelings. It was just his presence alone that I felt. He
didn’t make a sound when he moved, but I knew when he was near, and there were
times I felt him outside my room. I got that weird vertigo accompanied by unusual
waves of confusion. There were a couple times when he just stood out there for
minutes, and it seemed as if he might have been debating on whether or not he
should talk to me, but then thought better of it and walked away.

Tonight, as I lied there in bed, going mad
with thoughts of what’s to come, there was a light knock on my door. Springing
up so fast I nearly tripped over my boot that was camouflaged by layers of
dirty clothes strewn across my floor, I ran to the door hoping for any news
that would get me out of this place for a night. With the sitting-up-too-fast
head rush aside, I opened the door to find Gavin waiting in a rather slick
looking suit.

The guy did know how to dress. I had to give
him that, but I wished for once, the sight of him wouldn’t knock the wind out
of me. He stood there taking me in until the corners of his mouth twitched up
as his eyes grazed the top of my head.

I knew he was seeing the bird’s nest on my
head that was my hair after three days of being cooped up in here. I smoothed
down my hair the best I could. “What?” I asked angrily, shoving past him,
heading toward the kitchen.

“Nothing,” he said, his voice smiling, as he
followed me casually out into the main room.

As I gathered all the ingredients to make a
kick ass sandwich, I turned on him. “So, what have you found out?” I asked
coolly.

When I looked up at him, he looked away, but
I glimpsed a little hurt behind his eyes. He walked over to the fireplace,
which was blazing, and I stared at his back across the island where I assembled
my sandwich. When he spoke the hurt did not come through in his voice. It was
all business when he said, “There was another assassin killed last night.”

There was a loud clatter on the granite
countertop when my knife hit, splattering mayonnaise across my arm and shirt. I
looked down, not really seeing the mess. In an instant, he was leaning across
the island in front of me, and I gazed up to meet his eyes. “So, whoever is
wiping out the ancients is moving on to bigger and stronger targets?” I asked.

“It would appear so,” he said angrily as he
shut his eyes and put his hands behind his head. He looked so defeated, so
stressed out. I had to stop my hand from reaching out to him. “What the hell is
going on?” he muttered. His hands came from behind his head to wipe across his
face like he was trying to wipe away the worry. He looked at me a moment, the
blue in his eyes swirling with so many questions I got dizzy from guessing what
they could be, until the swirling stopped and the blue in his eyes crystallized
and froze solid with determination. “Stay here. I need to gather more
supplies.”

“You mean weapons,” I accused.

“We need to be as prepared as possible, no
matter what comes at us,” he said distantly, and I knew there was no reaching
him now. He was in some sort of panic mode. He flashed to his room and back,
stopping to do a quick survey of the room as if he were forgetting something,
not once fixing his eyes on me. Without another word, he grabbed a coat off the
rack by the door, and then he disappeared.

The pain in my palms finally registered and
I unfisted my balled hands, realizing just how tense I had been throughout
Gavin’s little display of panic. I have never seen him show that kind of worry.
It was a scary thought to know the strongest vampire I had ever met was scared
into gathering weapons as a last ditch effort of protection. I felt it brewing
all this time, but now it was really here, and this was the mother of all
storms.

There was no way I was sitting it out. I
couldn’t, not when I knew I was at the center of it. It only took seconds after
Gavin had left before I changed into jeans and a sweatshirt, throwing a coat on
over it as I raced out the door. I had some supplies of my own to gather. Plus,
I could really use some sound advice.

With my strength fully restored, and then
some, I rushed out into the frigid night, barely noticing the sting from the
bitter cold air. Running at top speed, I felt extra anxious, my eyes darting to
my left and right noticing every shadow that passed by my peripheral vision. My
lungs burned as I pushed them to their limits, my heart beating out of my chest
from both exertion and something I have never felt for myself before in my
life- fear.

I may have thought I knew what it felt like,
but this was new to me. I never thought it was possible for me to fear for my
own life this much. The thought was both terrifying and exhilarating all at once.
I thought of Gavin and how he treated me like my life was worth something.
Maybe it was beginning to rub off on me.

As I neared my intended destination, I took
a slight detour up the old familiar beat up, dead end road I had walked
hundreds of times. Approaching the old dilapidated motel I used to call home,
nausea crept its way into my stomach, standing up the hairs on the back of my
neck.

As I spun and readied myself for attack, I
noticed the nausea dissipating. The vampire was retreating, observing from a
distance.
Hmmm… so I had a spy on my ass. Great.
Glancing back and
forth, scanning the buildings across the street, I didn’t see anyone, but as I turned
back toward my apartment I thought I glimpsed a spot of silvery white in a far
off alley, like a mess of blond hair washed out in the moonlight. When I turned
back to eye it carefully, there was nothing there.

The nausea settled until it disappeared
completely, and after giving the dark abandoned unit that used to be mine one
last look I made a quick trip down to the tracks to gather some spikes and ran
the short distance to gather my other supplies.

The little church came into view and looked
exactly the same as it had before, giving me the same feeling I had the first
time approaching it. There was a slight glow coming from one of the side
windows, and I couldn’t help but smile at my good luck. He was still here.

Thank God!

I approached slowly but didn’t hesitate
pushing through the large double doors and stepping into the tiny vestibule. Everything
was quiet.

“Father Thomas?” I asked cautiously. I hoped
he hadn’t rescinded his previous offer to help me after I broke in last time.

The light from the office on my left
streaked across the floor in a thin line from the slightly ajar door. “In here,”
his voice called just loud enough to travel into the vestibule.

When I pushed through the door letting it
swing slowly open, he was seated behind his desk, his head down. He was
skimming through the Bible, perhaps going through possible sermons for an
upcoming Mass. He looked up and gave me a warm smile. “Lucy,” he said in a very
welcoming tone, as if we’d been friends for years.

“Wow, how did you remember my name?” I
asked, a little shocked.

He chuckled once before responding. “Let’s
just say you left quite a first impression. It’s hard to forget the girl who
broke into the church to steal holy water. I think most people would go for the
more valuable items.”

“Oh, right,” I said, still standing there a
little dumbfounded. I was used to getting a much more negative response to my…
behavior.

“What can I do for you this evening, my
dear?” he asked, his voice comforting.

“I- I’m not sure really.”

“More holy water, perhaps?” he presumed.

“Yes. Yes, I’ll need some of that,” I
answered. I wasn’t sure why I was still standing there. I knew I came for more
holy water, but the way Father Thomas was looking at me now, like I was safe
here, and the way everything seemed to be coming down on me all at once stopped
me in my tracks. I knew I had questions, but I didn’t know how many of them he
could answer.

“Lucy? Is everything all right?” he asked
concerned.

My eyes were fixed on the floor in front of
his desk, on the dark red carpet, and I was lost in thought. It took a moment
before I realized I had just answered.

“No,” I responded dejectedly.

My eyes flashed to him, taking in his
worried expression, and I tried to downplay my problems to keep him from
getting too involved. “Really, it’s nothing I can’t handle,” I said, and heard
my own voice waver. That was a lie, and somewhere in the back of my head, the
confession of that lie was all the proof I needed to know this was something I
might not walk away from. It was something I couldn’t handle, and that little
seed of doubt rooted itself in my consciousness and worked its way to the rest
of my body. I felt the sting in my eyes and tightening of my throat.

This was the closest I had ever let myself
get to my worst nightmare. I had always known death was only a few steps behind
me with the way I lived my life, but I never really thought about it. I never
considered failure when I only thirsted for the fight, for the kill. But
failure meant becoming the thing I hate most in the world, and now I had to
consider that possibility, really consider it.

“Lucy, have a seat,” he said, gesturing
toward the loveseat to my right, in the corner of the room. As I numbly
shuffled over to take a seat, he followed and sat in the armchair across from
me.

With him looking at me expectantly, I felt
like I had no choice but to open up. The very least he could do was tell me I
was crazy, but maybe I didn’t have to include all the details of my life. “What
exactly do you know about prophecies?”

He eyed me a moment before responding. “Ah,
prophecies. The Bible is full of them. I believe there is one in there about a
savior of men,” he mused.

“Huh. Tell me about it,” I said looking down
at my hands folded together. When I glanced up, there was a smile playing on
the corners of his mouth. “Not that I’m comparing myself to Jesus,” I corrected
hastily when I realized the parallelism between that particular prophecy and my
own.

“Not even close,” I added. I was sure Jesus
was never responsible for anyone’s death, and I knew that he never became an
evil monster of the night. “My prophecy is slightly different, and I’m not even
sure how it could come true when I’m pretty sure I’m destined for evil.” I knew
I wouldn’t be able to destroy the entire vampire race if I became one of them
any time soon. And the way things have been going lately, that seemed more and
more inevitable.

“I see. Well, from what I know of
prophecies, you can’t always take them at face value. There may be some truths
in them. There may be several ways for them to come true, but ultimately, our
destinies are what we make of them. A prophecy can be a powerful catalyst for
change in the way it inspires our actions. Some will stop at nothing to see
that it doesn’t come true while others may fight to the death to see it come to
fruition. Sometimes, it is those actions we take that result in the prophecy
coming true. It only holds power if you believe it to be real.

“I think the important thing to remember
when dealing with such a heavy burden is to never lose yourself. And as far as
good and evil goes, Lucy, strength comes from the power we hold within us, and
goodness
is a strength. Evil is a weakness because it is lacking. It is always seeking
more power, but good is a power all on its own. If you can learn to embrace the
good within, you will be stronger than any evil you may face.”

“Huh.” It was the only sound that formed in
my mouth while I digested all that. I wasn’t really expecting to get that deep
with Father Thomas, but most of what he was saying made sense. I heard him, but
I wasn’t sure if I could believe I had a choice to be good when I had so much
evil in me already. “Thanks, Father. I appreciate you taking time to talk, but
I should really let you get your work done.”

“Anytime, child. Oh, Lucy, before I forget.
I was cleaning out the attic the other day and stumbled across something that
made me think of you. I want you to have it,” he leaned over the desk to
retrieve something from the top drawer. All I could see was a tiny wooden box.

He opened the box and plucked something from
it, handing it to me. It was a leather strap and hanging from it was what
appeared to be a coin no bigger than a quarter. I took the coin to examine it,
letting the strap dangle from my fingers. It was heavier than a quarter and
looked extremely old, the edges and engraving worn down from years of handling.
In the middle of the coin was a symbol that looked like a P with an X through
it.

“What is it?” I asked.

“It is a coin minted by Constantine in the 4
^th
century. It was said that Constantine was visited by God in a dream before one
of his battles, and He told Constantine to put that symbol on his soldiers’
shields. After heading the advice, he won his battle and decided to have coins
made with the same symbol. This symbol represents the crucifixion of Christ,
and you could say this coin is good luck in battle. I think you would have more
use for it than me, Lucy.”

“I couldn’t, Father. It has to be worth so
much, and I wouldn’t want to steal your luck from you,” I tried to refuse the
gift. It was too much. I wasn’t an antique expert, but even I could see the
value in something so old and rare.
I mean the fourth freaking century! Holy
shit!

“Its worth is in its power. I’ve had it a
long time, but I don’t think it ever offered me more than what the Lord has
blessed me with over the years. I believe it will be worth far more to you than
to me. Maybe it can even help with some of those demons of yours,” he said,
giving me a meaningful look that made me wonder how much he might actually know
about
my
demons.

I took the coin reluctantly, pocketing it
for now. I made a mental note to add it to my charm bracelet later. “Thank you,
Father. I’m afraid I might never be able to repay you for it, though.”

“It’s no problem, and I’m always here if you
need to talk. I hope I helped,” he said.

“You did. You did, thanks,” I answered in a
hurry, feeling a little guilty for taking his gift and running. But then again,
he was helping. “So, do you think I could get more Holy water while I’m here?”
I asked.

He chuckled before pointing me toward the
door. “Help yourself. You already know where to find it.” He stood to move back
behind his desk. When I got to the door, I turned back as he sat down.
“Father?”

“Hmm?” he asked, looking up.

“Pray for me?” I asked.

“Of course.”

I turned, but before I even took a step, he
said, “Lucy?”

I spun, meeting his eyes again. “You’re a
good person. I can tell. You have this light about you. Whatever happens, I
know you’ll be fine.”

His optimism began to sink in to me like the
cold night air chilling me from my skin to my bones, but I knew it couldn’t
last, nor would it change me and how I felt for good. I nodded my head and turned
to collect some Holy water.

When I lifted my hand to fill a vial, the
charm bracelet from Gavin I had kept on my wrist fell free from under the
sleeve of my coat. The tiny bit of light filtering in from the windows from the
moon glinted off one of the angel charms. On the wings, there was something off
about the detailing that caught my eye. I lifted my arm closer to me to get a
better look and saw another set of initials engraved in the wings.
H.L.

I had no idea who that could be. Maybe an
old girlfriend of Gavin’s who broke up with him, giving back his bracelet, and
now he was re-gifting it. He could have at least taken the charm off before
giving it to me. Maybe I wouldn’t soil my good luck charm by adding it to
Gavin’s little chain of exes. I went back to filling my vials and headed back
out into the streets.

It wasn’t long before I heard the familiar
sound of a vampire attack: the panicked screams of the unsuspecting victim, the
scuffling sounds of struggle while she’s being dragged into an alleyway, the
sound of her body being thrown around. It had been so long since I had really
felt useful, since I’ve been able to do my job. I had almost forgotten what it
was like. All my instincts kicked in, and I immediately went into action.

When I arrived, his fangs were fully
extended, an inch from the girl’s neck. He looked up after I cleared my throat.
“Sorry to interrupt. I was just wondering where to find the nearest pay phone.
My cell phone just died, and I could really use a ride home. This town can get
a little scary at night, if you know what I mean.”

The distraction worked the way I wanted.
With a confused look on his face, he lowered the girl just enough to expose his
shoulder. In a lightning fast movement, I reached for a spike whipping it in
his direction. The spike lodged deep in his shoulder, my second distraction
working like a charm. He dropped the girl completely, and after a string of
cuss words, came at me with the anger of a person whose dinner was interrupted
by a telemarketer.

I sidestepped his advances, spinning so that
I was now behind him. I grabbed handfuls of his jacket and used his own
momentum to throw him into the brick wall five feet away. He hit hard but
rebounded quickly, his anger growing. This time, I simply drove my fist into
his face, knocking him back on his ass. He got up, now seething, making his
anger almost comical. Each time he advanced, I knocked him to the ground. He
never even got a hit in on me, and I quickly grew bored with him. As soon as he
stood, I drove another spike into him, this time hitting the money spot.

At that, I turned to face the quivering girl
but found nothing where she once sat. I listened carefully and heard her light
footsteps at the other end of the alley and rushed over to her. When I came to
a stop in front of her she was gathering a scream deep in her chest, but before
a sound could come out, I put a hand over her mouth. Her hazel eyes looking up
at me with sheer terror and building tears. I was getting an
up-close-and-personal look at my future. This is how people would look at me
when I became the soulless monster I had dreaded even before I knew what I
really was.

“It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you,” I
said, trying to reassure us both. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright.
I’m going to let go now. Please don’t scream.”

I released my hand, and she scrambled
backward a few feet before stopping to confront me. “What was that?”

“It was exactly what you’re thinking, and I
want to be sure that you won’t tell anyone what you saw tonight. It would be
very dangerous for you.”

The terror returned to her eyes, but she
nodded her very enthusiastic response. Clearly, she understood. “What are you?”

“Huh.” It was a laugh without humor. “That’s
the million dollar question. It would be best for you to forget me, too.
Please, just go home. Stick to the main streets, call for a ride, I don’t care,
but just be more careful from now on.”