Every Little Piece (29 page)

“Where do we go from here?” he asks.

Clouds drift across the horizon. “They say this spot grants wishes.”

“What would you wish for, Haley Sparks?”

I press my lips together. I wish for so much. Then it hits me. “I don’t want a wish.” The truth floods through me. “Life is what we make of it. Not just wishing things could be different.”

I grab his hand but he still hesitates.

“What if this is too much for us to get over?” he asks.

I shrug. “We’ll never know if we don’t try. I’m still a wreck and have so many relationships to repair. I need to work through my mistakes and my grief and the people I’ve hurt.”

“I can give you space. I need to do that too.”

“I don’t want to do it alone. We’ve tried that and I was miserable. Why can’t we do it together?”

His eyes tear up, and he places his hand on my cheek. His fingers are soft on my skin and I turn into them. I know what he needs. I choke up but manage to say the words.

“Seth, I forgive you. I forgive you that you weren’t there for me when I needed you. I forgive you that left that party and drove drunk. I forgive you that you ran away. I forgive you completely.”

A tear slides down his cheek. I can’t tear my eyes away from him. The honesty, the fear, the vulnerability is brutal and pulses between us. But stronger than all that is the love.

“Thank you.” His thumb grazes my lips. “I’ll spend every day of my life making it up to you.”

I’m leaning forward, drawn to him. My gaze flickers to his lips. My heart is overwhelmed and for the first time I feel I can move on. That I’ll make it. That we might make it.

Seth leans forward to. His breath hitches. We stop inches away. I can barely breathe. He meets me and our lips touch. This kiss is different. It’s gentle and loving. It feels like a first kiss. My lips tremble.

“It’s not going to be easy,” he says. “All we have to work through.”

“No, it won’t be,” I murmur. “But we’ll make it.”

“Love you, forever,” he whispers between kisses.

“With every little piece of my heart.”

We stand by their graves. It’s almost midnight. We lit candles and the soft light hides all our remaining tears. Seth, Jamie, Carter and me. We hold hands, taking a moment of silence. It’s been two years. The same day. The same night. That it happened. I close my eyes and breathe in the sweet smell of spring. Hope washes over me and I feel them. Brin and Kama. They will live on in my heart. I see their smiles and hear their laughter. It still gets to me. I still feel sad and I still cry.

But it’s okay to feel. I went so long without feeling that I took the whole last year to start again. Seth and my family have had to deal with random crying. But with help, both Seth and I are dealing. We’ve repaired our relationships with friends and family the best we know how.

“I loved her sad smile,” Carter says.

He must be talking about Brin. Tears sting my eyes. I learned later that he and Brin decided that night to take a chance and start dating.

“I did too,” I say softly.

I feel Seth’s gaze and turn my head. Love shines in his eyes and a smile tugs at his mouth. I rub my thumb over his hand. We took a chance and so far it’s working. Seth works part time and volunteers a lot at the Boys and Girls Club while taking classes at a community college. I still work at the Seaside Inn but only a few shifts. I’m a full time student at the community college, getting in my basic classes. I don’t know yet what I’ll do. The possibilities are endless. I could be a grief counselor. I could be a nurse. I could be a teacher. I haven’t decided. But I’ll do something. I’ll live my life the best way I know how.

Jamie coughs. “Are we ready?”

I shiver at the thought of what’s to come. “Are you sure?”

“Hell, yeah,” they say.

“Okay, then I’m in.”

We blow out the candles and bring them with us, leaving the flowers behind, our friends behind, but never forgetting. Seth drives and it doesn’t take long before we’re at the edge of Main Street. I tug the edges of my coat a little closer.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want.” Seth places a hand on my leg. “You could just take video for Facebook and embarrass all of us.”

I shake my head. “I have to do this too. For them. My one last gift to them.”

Seth parks and we sit in the car. We’re silent, thinking ahead to what we’re about to do and how wrong it is. Yet, how right it feels. The perfect night. The perfect way to finally move forward. Our last tribute.

We open the doors and the cool night breeze washes over us. A nervous giggle escapes and my adrenaline is pumping, creating an excited high. I can feel it. Pulsing in the air as we make our way to the start. We all hug our coats around us.

Even though we all want to do this, it’s hard to start. Memories flitter by and I cherish their sweet presence.

“This is for you, Brin.” Carter’s voice breaks. “I love you.” He drops his coat and sprints down the street in his boxers. Moonlight flashes on his back as he runs with his arms in the air.

Jamie, Seth and I don’t wait any longer. We all strip our coats and start sprinting. In our underwear. The long lost bet that we were never able to finish. We do it for them. For Brin. For Kama. The wind rushes against my face and skin, sending goosebumps. My heart races as cars drive by and honk. I feel high. Excitement rushes through me and for one second I feel their warm embrace.

I laugh. It starts small but bubbles up and explodes. I catch up to Seth, forgetting that I’m in my bra and underwear. He grabs my hand and we race together.

The cry starts in my chest and I let it out. A shout of hope and happiness at my future, for our future as we disappear into the night.

If you enjoyed
Every Little Piece
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Look for
Falling to Pieces
in 2013. A short novel about Noah and Carly.

A Thousand years - Christina Perri

Over My Head - The Fray

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

Shattered - O.A.R.

Secrets - One Republic

Realize - Colby Caillat

Arms - Christina Perri

Love the Way You Lie - Skylar Grey

Dreaming with a Broken Heart - John Mayer

From Where You Are - Lifehouse

Distance - Christina Perri

Yes. I cried while writing this story. I cried while editing this story. Haley and Seth rooted in my heart and their struggles become extremely personal and real.

While writing the first draft, a dear friend of mine was battling cancer. He was given 3-6 months to live. In January of 2013, he passed away. Even though his story is very different from the one in this story, the grief I felt while writing Every Little Piece was real.

Thank you to all my writing friends and beta readers for your support. It means the world.