Evenfall (152 page)

"Because I thought it might fool them," Owen said, giving him a strange look.  "You know? Some people believe you can will things to be by believing them and that sort of thing? Life affected by the mind? Imagining success and then reaching it?" He raised his eyebrows. "It's like how beauty's in the eye of the beholder; maybe lost stuff is found in the eye of the loser."

Jeffrey snorted and looked down at his own perfectly arranged, perfectly organized piles of paper in which he could easily extract any single sheet he wanted within seconds while Owen couldn't even find one without help. "'Loser' is right," he said under his breath.

"What are you looking for anyway?" Boyd asked, staring at the mess of paper Owen had created in front of him.

"These things. Map things." Owen waved a hand as if it were too difficult to explain with words. "Blueprints except it's more like they're white with blue ink and a streak of yellow because the printer was rebelling..." He drew his eyebrows down then his eyes lit up and he leaned over to dig through his bag quickly and pull out a few sheets of paper.

"Aha! See," he demanded triumphantly to Jeffrey, brandishing the papers he'd been looking for. "Once I imagined them and thought of finding them they were easy to find."

"No," Jeff said slowly as if he thought Owen was an idiot. "Once you retraced your steps in your mind you remembered you put them in a different place than where you were looking. Then you stopped being an idiot and looked in the right area."

"You're wrong," Owen said dismissively, and appeared to forget about the entire conversation the moment he turned toward Boyd and Sin again. "Here are the blueprints for Clemons' house." Owen slid them across the table and watched as they each looked down at them.

Boyd picked up the blueprints and studied them carefully but Sin didn't seem too interested, which wasn't unusual.

"It took
a while
to find them... I just thought maybe they'd be there and Ryan agreed and then we looked. Anyway, they're several years old; they were attached to an approved work order Hale Clemons had to get for that construction I mentioned. They should be what the place looked like before the construction because of course the contractors are the ones who'd have the blueprints for whatever they did and I doubt he hired anyone legit because we couldn't find anything. The blueprints also aren't complete because some of the files were corrupted, plus we don't even know how many floors there are so who knows how many files could be missing. It's not a lot to go off but maybe it'll help some."

"I think it will," Boyd said, feeling pleased to have any sense of blueprints or floor plans to go off, even if they were outdated. He didn't like going into places without knowing the layout and, if possible, every nook and cranny so he not only knew where he could hide but also where others could be hiding to ambush him. He looked up and smiled slightly at Owen. "Thank you."

For some reason that caught Owen off guard and he gave Boyd a slightly embarrassed look. "Oh. You're welcome."

Jeffrey started placing his papers back into his briefcase; it was unclear why he had unloaded them in the first place as he hadn't had much to add to the meeting, but it was probably a combination of force of habit and the fact that he liked to see perfectly stacked piles of white paper against the dark brown wood of the table.

"I have another meeting I need to be at in fifteen minutes. Are we finished?" he asked Carhart the question curiously but curtly.

"Yes." Carhart looked at Boyd and Sin again as Jeff and Owen filed out of the room, neither of them taking their time. Jeff was in a hurry to get to his next meeting and Owen seemed in a hurry to go back to sleep. When the door shut behind them, Carhart spoke again.

"You leave in two hours; if you have any questions, I'll be in my office. You've been given clearance to get any supplies you think you may need."

Sin nodded shortly and pushed his chair back but before he could stand, Carhart grabbed his forearm suddenly. Sin raised an eyebrow in inquiry although the expression on his face wasn't as hostile or threatening as it would have been a year ago.

"Yes?"

Carhart frowned slightly and released Sin's arm, eyes flicking over to Boyd almost
self-consciously
before he sat back in his chair and fidgeted with his folder. "Just..." he trailed off for a moment and cleared his throat. "Be careful. Both of you."

Sin's mouth twisted in a sardonic smirk. "I'm going to start thinking you care in a minute, General."

Carhart shook his head with a grunt and stood abruptly. "You should have started thinking that a long time ago, Vega."

With that being said, he turned and walked out of the room before either man had a chance to reply. They exchanged glances and Sin blinked. "What the hell was that about?"

"Well," Boyd started after a moment. "Consider what happened last time you went to Mexico. He's probably afraid the same thing will happen this time, too. We weren't even near an actual Janus building before and this time we're headed straight for what could be their interrogation center of the area. You could..." He narrowed his eyes. "Well. We'll both be there this time, so... it shouldn't end the same."

Sin watched him quietly for a moment, not missing Boyd's expression and serious tone. "We'll be fine," he said, in a manner he hoped was reassuring. "There were extenuating circumstances last time. I was distracted; it was my own fault I got captured because I allowed myself to become distracted." There was a pause. "Although."

His tone caused Boyd look over warily. "Although what?"

A shrug as though Sin were mentally dismissing what had come to mind but he continued anyway. "Clemons has a vendetta against me so I'm sure if he knows I'm still alive and well enough to raid his mansion, he'll try to do everything in his power to make sure I die for real this time. But that'd probably be the case regardless, unless he's fond of home invasion; I just thought you should know ahead of time so that there are no surprises when we get there."

"Why should that be?" Boyd asked, trying to place this new information in the context of what he already knew. "It sounded like if he had a vendetta against anyone, it would have been Thierry. Jeff said his information led to what happened," he said slowly. "and it sounds like you were just in the area anyway. Do you really think he'd remember you in particular or even recognize you after so long?"

"It was my fault Jessica was involved at all," Sin corrected calmly. "He knew that-- he saw me there with her, it was me they were in a gun fight with when she died and it was him who personally oversaw my interrogation to make sure it was as painful as possible. I think it was his idea to leave me there to bleed to death. I remember him saying as much before I blacked out."

At first Boyd seemed surprised to hear that Hale Clemons had been that personally involved, but it was quickly overrun by a dark flash of anger. "So he was there," he said, tone enigmatic.

Sin nodded, watching his partner closely. "Yeah. I just thought you should know ahead of time that he already has it out for me."

"I see. Thank you," Boyd said, the anger gone from his eyes although the emotion had done anything
but vanished. "While we're on the topic, I should warn you that from what I recall of the area, I believe we'll have to drive in the vicinity of Monterrey to get to Laguna de Sαnchez. I don't know what the status of the security is like for travelers bypas
sing the city; I would imagine we will be fine but it's something I intend to look into. If it's anything like it was when I was hiding out or when we left, then we will have to be very careful."

"I figured as much. And even if the heat is off with the local police being so obvious about their search and so indiscriminate about who they picked up and labeled a terrorist, I'm sure there are still agencies down there searching as well as head hunters who want to make a buck off the incident." Sin frowned slightly and ran a hand over his short hair, still not used to it. "But since we're essentially sneaking into the country and not even bothering with security clearance at this point, you're right, we'll have to be really careful because we don't have paperwork backing us up this time." He was silent a moment as he studied Boyd, getting the feeling that there was something more the blond man wanted to say. "Is there anything else I should know before we head out?"

Boyd hesitated but then said in a matter-of-fact tone, "Yes. If I'm entirely honest, I'm not certain sending us on this mission is a good idea. Or reinstating me fully as an Agent so soon. Perhaps especially the fact that I will be your partner again."

A hot flash of irritation shot through Sin and he sat up straight, eyes narrowing. "What the hell is it now, Boyd? Why not?"

"It's not because I don't want to be around you," Boyd said in the manner he typically conveyed information for briefings, seeming unperturbed by Sin's reaction. He glanced briefly at the door to be certain it was closed. They actually had better privacy in the conference room than they would anywhere else in the Agency, even Sin's apartment since they didn't know for certain that there weren't any bugs or cameras.

"If anything, it's for the opposite reason. There wasn't a need to bring it up before if I was going to be a civilian or even if I became an agent in another area. But if we're going to return to our previous partnership, then before we go on this mission I think you should know that I love you."

There was a brief stretch of silence in which Sin just stared at Boyd blankly, not responding because for a moment he wasn't sure how exactly he was supposed to reply to that. The concept of 'love' was as foreign to him as the concepts of friendship and intimacy had been; it was just another thing that he'd never been involved with, never experienced and certainly never had said to him. He knew what the word meant, he knew people said it about things or people that they had a strong positive regard towards, but he didn't really know what one was supposed to think or feel that would lead to them essentially saying this word.

However he knew it was a good thing if Boyd was telling him this and it left him in a state of confusion as to why this would be a complication to their situation. "Why would that be a negative factor to our partnership?" he asked, eyebrows drawing together and looking genuinely baffled.

"It could affect my judgment," Boyd said seriously, then paused to consider that and shook his head. "No, it likely
will
affect my judgment. For instance, what if you get hurt and I have to make a decision between helping you and finishing the mission? I would find it incredibly difficult to focus on my job with you hurt in front of me, but what if in that scenario I would be helping you most by finishing the mission? What if I get too distracted worrying about you and actually make the matter worse? Which is not to mention the fact that in this scenario I'm not completing the mission either, so I would accomplish nothing except failure. Or..."

Kassian's warning to be careful who he let see his feelings echoed in his mind, followed by a sudden flash of Shane's calm voice asking why those he cared about kept getting hurt around him. Boyd's expression darkened briefly and he looked away. "Or I could endanger us both by getting too concerned and letting my feelings be seen somehow. It could be used against us. Against you. It's a liability that shouldn't exist. But I can't help feeling the way I do and I don't see it changing any time soon. So, I'm questioning whether it would be best if I just wasn't your partner at all."

Sin opened his mouth to voice his automatic disagreement but he closed it again, pausing to truly let the words sink in. He'd wanted to tell Boyd that once again he was being over-paranoid, taking too much on his shoulders, but at the same time when Boyd was saying it that way it did somewhat make sense that he was concerned. However, the scenario Boyd was describing would put Sin in an equally difficult position if their positions were reversed and it was Boyd who was seriously injured, so he didn't see why Boyd would be any more of a threat to the partnership than he would be.

"Well you don't know that for certain, so there's no point making any sudden decisions now," Sin said impatiently. "The fact that you actually care about my
wellbeing
only makes you a better partner in my point of view, because I know I can trust you to watch my back and I can keep both eyes on the enemy. Why don't we see how this mission plays out before we decide it will definitely end tragically?"

Boyd lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "It's not as though I was going to abandon the mission at the last minute anyway despite my concerns; that would just put you in an even worse position. I just wanted you to be aware of the situation before we arrived so you would know why I may react the way I do if something goes wrong. We'll see what happens; you're right that there is the possibility it will work out decently." He didn't sound very convinced of the idea and he paused, then gave Sin a very serious look.

"But I'm telling you right now that if it seems as though this partnership is going to be dangerous for you, then I am going to have to seriously consider what sort of solution there could be and how to go about achieving it. I won't let myself be responsible for something happening to you just because I developed feelings for you. If need be, I will talk to Carhart about it to see what sort of options we have. I'm telling you that also ahead of time so you won't be surprised if it comes to that, but I'll let you know before I go to him. Because we're currently partners it
is
your decision, too, to an extent; of course, if it's serious enough I may just ignore your opinion."