Authors: Sonny,Ais
The idea of anyone taking advantage of Sin in this state was utterly repellent to him. At one point, he stood over Sin, looking down at him on the couch and thinking darkly about how he would have killed Harry himself if Sin hadn't taken care of it for him.
Sin stirred on the couch again, murmured something sleepily and fell back unconscious. Boyd walked to the kitchen and grabbed a large bowl from the cupboards. The plastic bowl made a dull sound as he set it in the sink and filled it with warm soapy water.
He spent the next hour sitting on the coffee table next to the couch, gently cleaning Sin's face, torso, arms and feet-- the parts he could reach without disturbing the only clothing Sin wore; his pants.
Although Boyd could have removed Sin's pants to wash him, he didn't feel comfortable doing so and he decided Sin could shower all he wanted when he woke up. He didn't want to take advantage of Sin's helplessness when it wasn't absolutely necessary. The fact that others had probably removed his pants when he couldn't defend himself, others like Harry and his disgusting friends, made it impossible for Boyd to even consider performing such an act. Boyd left Sin's hands for last. The water had already been bloodied multiple times, causing him to pause and dump it out and refill it.
He was very gentle with Sin's hands. He ran his fingertips lightly along them a few times, comfortingly, to see what such powerful hands felt like when they weren't gripping him painfully. He was lost in the feel of Sin's skin, his expression relaxed and entranced, when something made him look up suddenly with guilt, like a child caught doing something wrong.
Sin's eyes were open and trained on him, but they were glassy and he still looked half out of it, half confused. He searched Boyd's face vaguely, as if looking for the point that would prove him an illusion.
"You're not real," he murmured, slurred.
Boyd stared at him, caught by the open, confused expression on Sin's face. "Yes I am," he said softly.
Sin watched him in sleepy, drugged confusion, and he almost looked upset. "Sorry," he mumbled, struggling to keep his eyes open.
Shaking his head, Boyd smoothed Sin's hair gently from his forehead. His expression twisted briefly. "Why?"
He didn't expect an answer and he didn't get one. Sin fell asleep within moments and did not wake again until long after Boyd finished cleaning his hands.
The night passed slowly, with Boyd refusing to leave Sin's side for longer than absolutely necessary. He was exhausted and his eyelids felt heavier by the hour but he would not go to sleep until he was certain Sin was safe from the drugs as well as someone trying to take him away. He was in a state of half-sleep himself, kneeling by the side of the couch with his head tilting further down when he heard talking on the other side of the door.
Boyd leaped to his feet suddenly, wavering a little, when Vivienne appeared in the doorway with a glacial expression and shut the door behind her. Perhaps due to Boyd's abrupt movement, Sin slipped half-awake and was just able to tangle his fingers in Boyd's sleeve.
Boyd looked down at Sin in surprise, temporarily distracted from his mother. Sin was only half-conscious but his glassy-eyed stare was locked on Boyd. "No," he muttered.
"I'm not going anywhere," Boyd assured him.
Either comforted by the answer or too tired to care, Sin's fingers dropped from Boyd's sleeve and he collapsed back onto the couch, apparently asleep before he even properly woke. Boyd stared at him before turning to his mother, his expression becoming remote.
She watched them with an unreadable expression, then flicked cold eyes up to Boyd. "What did you expect to gain from this?" she asked flatly and without preamble.
"Exactly what I got," Boyd said staunchly. "Sin's freedom for now."
Her eyebrows raised and she crossed her arms. "Oh? Your wish was for temporary respite that would lead to worse consequences than if you had simply been patient?"
"Maybe that's all it will be in the end but I couldn't stand by and do nothing."
Her lip lifted, clearly showing that she was unimpressed. "Do you have any concept of what you have done?" she demanded. "The charges against you are severe. Insubordination, stealing from the Marshal, forging official documentation, entry to the fourth floor without permission, misappropriation of Agency assets, destroying Agency equipment--"
Her eyes narrowed and her jaw tightened. "I could continue. Do you not understand the consequences of your actions? Forging the documentation alone could be grounds for termination."
Boyd had known going into this he was putting himself in danger, but at the time all he'd been able to think about was Sin. Now that Sin was relatively safe, he had the chance to focus on other aspects. Hearing her lay it out only underscored to him how serious it all was.
Still, it didn't change anything for him.
"It doesn't matter."
"Because you wish to die?" she asked with disgust.
"No," he said firmly. "Because this is more important."
Her lips thinned and for a moment she only stared at him in clear distaste. "You are a short-sighted fool." She turned around and strode back toward the door.
"You're leaving?" Boyd asked, surprised. He didn't think it would be this easy.
"I am remedying the situation," she said coolly.
"How?" Boyd asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion. She didn't respond and he started after her. When he saw her reaching for the doorknob, his hand snapped out and grabbed her wrist before she could open the door.
"How?" he repeated in a hard demand.
She looked over at him at first with indignation that soon shifted to an icy glare. "You will unhand me at once," she ordered.
His fingers only tightened. "Not until you tell me what you're going to do."
She jerked at her hand but Boyd didn't release her. Her eyes narrowed to slits. "I will have your partner removed by force and deal with you later."
"No you won't," Boyd said coldly, hardly realizing that it was the first time in his life that he had told his mother no.
Vivienne went still, turning a disbelieving stare onto him. "What did you say to me?"
"I said I'm not letting you have him." Boyd's grip firmed on her wrist. His eyebrows lowered darkly over a dead serious stare. "Not until he's better. He was nearly killed in that box because of the discrimination against him and Connors wasn't doing anything to help. If I let Sin out of my sight now, with the mood on the compound as it is, he could die. So I won't let anyone touch him, I won't leave his side, until he can defend himself. I will fight to keep him safe with every ounce of strength I have."
His jaw tightened. "After he's capable, if you need a scapegoat, target me. But until then, if you're getting reinforcements, you'd better get a lot and you'd better expect a fight." He released her wrist abruptly with a jerking motion that made her hand fall away from the door.
She stared at him, her face a mask of ice. He couldn't tell what she was thinking and he realized he didn't care. Although it should have scared him to defy her for the first time in his life, especially since he'd always wanted nothing more than to please her, he found that instead he felt only resolve.
They measured each other for a long, tense moment. Her back was stiff and his shoulders were tense; they each held their heads high and their narrowed eyes met each other. Their jaws were each set with a hard line. They were a mirror of each other in some ways, but while Vivienne looked coldly remote, Boyd was unwavering and steadfast.
At length, her hard blue eyes shifted to look over Boyd's shoulder at Sin, still lying defenseless on the couch. Her lips thinned and she seemed distinctly displeased, but the fact that she didn't speak immediately gave Boyd the impression that she was running through something in her mind. She turned unreadable eyes onto Boyd again.
"You intend to make a massacre if necessary in order to preserve one man's safety for even a short few days?" She spoke without inflection but when Boyd only nodded resolutely, her eyes narrowed and she continued sharply, "Why?"
"He's my partner."
"That answer is not acceptable," Vivienne said curtly. She crossed her arms and stared him down. "Answer me why you would go to such lengths for such a paltry goal."
"Because saving him from torture and possible death is the furthest thing from insignificant to me." Boyd's expression set in hard, stubborn lines. "I know you don't believe human connection is important. I know you've never cared for my taste in friends. I know this may be foolhardy and I know it may end in tragedy. But I don't care. He protected me when no one else gave a shit what happened to me and I'm going to do the same back for him no matter what it costs me. He's my partner and he's my friend and no matter how stupid this may all seem to you from the outside, it won't change my mind."
There was another long beat of silence. The tension was strong in the room and Boyd wondered how long he was going to end up having before she ordered him forcefully removed to the fourth floor. Good thing he'd brought some weapons over to Sin's ahead of time just in case.
At length she looked away. Her eyes narrowed and eyebrows lowered faintly but it seemed to be pensive more than anything. Her lips turned down on the edges and then she half turned toward the door again. Her intent stare did not waver on Boyd.
"Very well," she said without inflection. "Agent Vega has already served most of his punishment and it would not do to have him incapacitated indefinitely. I will see to it that you both remain undisturbed for the minimal time it requires for him to recover. However," she added in a hard tone, "I can make no guarantees for you. I will speak with the Marshal, yet given your astounding disregard for protocol it should not come as a surprise to you should you meet with dire consequences."
Boyd's eyebrows shot up in surprise. Some of the tension left his shoulders and his hands dropped to his sides. He had hoped she would give him some more time before calling in the reinforcements. He'd never expected her to talk to Connors on his behalf, and he'd certainly never expected her to help him keep Sin in the apartment.
"Thank you," he said in shock.
She shook her head, jaw shifting as if she were annoyed by his words. She turned her back on him and reached for the door, but paused with her hand on the doorknob. "You have tried my patience far too often of late. I expect you to consider your actions more carefully in the future. And Boyd--"
She turned a cold stare on him. "If you lay a hand disrespectfully on me once more, I will not be this lenient again. I am your superior. You will treat me as such."
Boyd could only nod dumbly, still processing the fact that it seemed he'd actually gotten away with this. "Of course, mother."
She gave him a thin-lipped look of warning, and then she was gone. He heard her already making clipped orders to the guard as the door swung shut.
Boyd stood in the middle of the room, staring at the door in a mixture of disbelief and wonder, and then looked over at Sin. His partner had not stirred again. He was half on his side, lying along the couch with one hand dangling over the edge. His fingers were curled and his eyebrows twitched down occasionally, his expression shifting with his dreams.
Boyd walked over, looking down at Sin and then crouching at his side. He couldn't help pushing some of Sin's hair back from his forehead and letting his hand rest there a moment, feeling the heat of his partner's skin.
"It'll be okay, Sin," Boyd said softly. His fingers sifted through Sin's hair and then he let his hand fall away. "I promise."
He sat there quietly, feeling a little silly to be making such statements to such a strong person like Sin, and especially when he was unconscious. Yet he couldn't deny the relief he felt at being able to say those words, and for the first time truly being able to believe them.
He moved further down and knelt by the couch at Sin's legs. He watched his partner, long after his eyes had grown heavy and his mind had started to piece by piece let go of the stress of the last few days. When he rested his arms against Sin's legs, the comfort he felt in knowing Sin was safe and would be for now made sleep inexorably draw him near.
Chapter 24
It was completely dark when Boyd awoke. At first he felt disoriented and it took him a second to realize why. First, he realized he wasn't in his bed. Right after that, he realized his body was sore from leaning against the end of a couch. He straightened his back, rolling out some painful kinks in his neck and shoulders, and looked over.
Sin was lying on the couch, his hair half-covering his closed eyes. One hand rested in front of him with his fingers curled laxly. He looked exhausted but better than he had before, and he seemed to be deeply asleep.
The events of the day before hit Boyd and for a moment he felt a mixture of anxiety and relief. He'd actually gotten away with it, he thought, at the same time as he wondered whether his mother had changed her mind or lied. Whether there were agents gathering to break into Sin's apartment and kill or capture them.
And what if they did that when Sin was still unconscious? It was all well and good to lay down a threat at his mother's feet, but when it came down to it, would he be able to protect Sin in the event of a strategic attempt to recover them? And if not, was he putting Sin in more danger by having done this than if he'd just left him alone?
At the thought, worry was a niggling doubt. Knowing the severity of his crimes, he could only hope he hadn't made matters worse for Sin.
He stayed there, crouched and watching Sin. He was unable to pull himself away, as if any second he spent not watching him would end up being the second it took for someone to show up and drag Sin back to the fourth floor.
As he watched the gentle rise and fall of Sin's chest, he couldn't help noticing how Sin's eyebrows and fingers twitched, as if he were having bad dreams. Yet there was something almost innocent in the slight parting of Sin's lips, the fall of silky black strands across his face, and the movement of his eyes behind his eyelids.
It made Boyd want to touch him, and after a few moments his hand rose of its own accord. He ran his fingers down the side of Sin's face, brushing along those high cheekbones and down through the scruff on Sin's cheeks toward his strong jawline. His fingertips danced along his jaw and paused at his chin. His thumb shifted, rising up to brush against Sin's full lower lip. Sin's dry lip caught briefly against Boyd's thumb, showing a flash of white teeth.
Sin shifted, his eyebrows drawing down and fingers jerking. Boyd let his hand drop away but not before the thought crossed his mind that Sin was beautiful to behold.
He sat back and planned to settle in for awhile but his touch must have drawn Sin out of sleep.
Sin's expression twitched, his eyebrows drawing together, and his fingers curled and then hand shifted down. He squinted and then blinked his eyes open; that vivid green slightly glassy but still searching the room until they centered on Boyd's eyes.
The sleepy, tousled confusion Sin regarded him with made any hesitation Boyd may have felt for waking him dissipate. Having the opportunity to see Sin look at him so openly, without any guardedness or suspicion, made any words Boyd may have planned to say die in his throat.
A smile drew across Boyd's face. "Hey," he greeted Sin quietly.
Sin frowned in confusion, taking in Boyd and then shifting his gaze over Boyd's shoulder. He looked around the room questioningly and started to push himself up.
"We're in your apartment," Boyd explained.
The drugs seemed to slowly be working out of Sin's system. Once he was upright and could look around better, he seemed to be coming back to himself more. Still, it was clear he was having a difficult time grasping the situation. "How did I get here?"
Boyd's hands twitched on the edge of the cushion. For a moment, he wanted to reach up and brush that hair out of Sin's eyes. He wanted to feel that smooth hair and skin again, the same way he'd been able to when he'd been reassuring himself that Sin was okay when he was unconscious. But he knew this wasn't the right time. Maybe it hadn't been when Sin was asleep either.
"Luke Gerant and I brought you here."
Dark eyebrows drew together and Sin shook his head, a bewildered look on his normally guarded face. "Gerant-- what? Who released me?"
"Well..." Boyd paused, his eyebrows drawing together as he tried to determine the best way to explain. "That's harder to answer. Technically no one did but they thought Marshal Connors gave the okay."
"Why the hell would they think that?" Sin asked, his deep voice hoarse from disuse but still managing to sound incredulous.
"Because I stole his seal and forged official documentation for your release."
There was a brief pause as Sin brought a hand up to his head and braced in slightly. His pale green eyes narrowed as he squinted at Boyd, as if he were replaying what he'd just heard.
"I'm not at my best right now because of the drugs but even then, that makes no sense to me. Can you just explain?"
"Sorry." Boyd shifted back until he could sit on the edge of the coffee table to avoid cramping his knees. He leaned forward, his forearms resting on his knees, and studied Sin. "I tried to ask General Carhart and Marshal Connors for help in your release. Carhart wanted to but couldn't do anything about it and Connors didn't answer my request. I thought it would be safest to wait until Connors contacted me, but a few days later Luke Gerant called and told me he was worried about your health. He was afraid there would be lasting effects from the combination of overdosing on the drugs and possible head injuries."
Boyd's eyes narrowed as he remembered the scene he'd been met with in the box. "I'm glad he called. I was worried enough already but it was even worse when I saw your state."
Sin opened his mouth, closed it, and then frowned slightly. He wet his dry lips and ran a hand through his unruly hair. He looked worn out and battered, but his eyes were slowly becoming more alert.
"How did you get the seal?"
"After I heard from Luke I knew I couldn't wait around any longer," Boyd replied. "I managed to get a meeting with Connors but he obviously had no intentions of releasing you or listening to any of my requests. I'd been expecting that possibility and had some plans in place. His seal was on his desk and it worked even better than any of my options, so I stole it."
Once again Sin brought his hand to his head but this time he massaged his temple. His brow puckered again, lips pressing together as he looked away briefly. After awhile he exhaled slowly and sat up straighter on the couch, pushing his shoulders back.
"You're insane."
"Maybe," Boyd said somewhat absently, his attention focusing instead on Sin's face. "How are you feeling? The medics seemed to think you would be okay but I didn't know what to expect."
"I'm fine," was the dismissive response. After a breath Sin dropped his hand. "And what happened with Truman?"
Boyd grimaced and sat up straight. He looked away with narrowed eyes, unable to ignore a flash of remembrance of Harry's disgusting words and groping hands. "Nothing much. Just--" He raised a hand in a vague gesture. "A stupid situation. I was alone and he was angry. He attacked me and then you came."
"Yes but why did he attack you?" Sin demanded, still frowning at Boyd. "I'm kind of interested considering how this all played out."
Boyd sighed and looked over at Sin. "He was angry because his pay had been suspended for months in response to the report I filed. I was going to ignore him but," his eyes narrowed, "then he started saying all this bullshit about you-- how you wanted it and you liked to play rough and maybe I did too." His lips lifted in disgust. "I was so furious. I tried to fight him when he came at me but he was stronger, so..." He shook his head and trailed off.
During his explanation, Sin had gotten up and started to slowly pace the room. His steps were unsteady but he didn't seem to notice. His expression had darkened and his fingers raked through his hair, making his already unruly hair turn into complete disorder.
"You should have just left. Better yet, forget Harry-- you should have just left me up there." Sin stopped and stared at Boyd. His lips were still turned down as a flash of concern appeared on his face. "Boyd, do you realize how much trouble you can be in? Unless your mother manages to convince Connors to do otherwise..."
"I know," Boyd said soberly. His gaze shifted away, focusing on the windows across Sin's living room while his eyebrows drew down. "But I couldn't sit there and do nothing. If you hadn't come when you had, I probably--"
He stopped, frowned, and then waved a hand impatiently. He turned serious honey brown eyes on Sin. "It doesn't matter. The point is, I knew they were punishing you for something you did on my behalf and I couldn't let them do that. Especially since I didn't think you deserved it given the circumstances. All I cared about was getting you free from that. Now that I've achieved my goal, I'm fine with taking responsibility for my actions."
Sin raised his eyebrows, full mouth still pushed down, and crossed his arms over his chest. "So you're fine being terminated?"
Boyd took the time to actually consider that. "When this all started, I would have been," he said honestly. "Now..."
His eyebrows lowered and he looked away, pushing himself up off the coffee table. His gaze was drawn to the windows along the far wall, overlooking the compound and part of Lexington beyond. He walked over to the windows and crossed his arms looking out, a pensive frown on his face that was partially reflected against the sheen of the glass.
He didn't know what he felt anymore. He didn't even know if it had been stupid in the long run to do all this. But he couldn't say he would have changed his mind. Knowing Sin was being tortured for him had made it impossible for him to ignore. Especially since he suspected claustrophobia, and therefore the box, were to Sin what those harrowing days or weeks or whatever period of time had been to him after Lou's death.
And yet, the burning despair that had made him give up on his life, that had made it seem like everyone would be better off without him, wasn't there to suffocate his thoughts anymore. After Ryan had cared about him, after Carhart and even his mother had tried to help-- After Sin had appeared and had shown he didn't hate him, he didn't want him to die...
Boyd sighed as he turned around. How ironic that the possibility of his death was even higher now, when it wasn't what he was actively seeking, than it had been when he'd wanted it.
"I don't know," he said finally. "It may be best to say I wouldn't regret it if it has to happen. But I'd rather they didn't."
Sin's eyes narrowed at that. Once again he opened his mouth to say something but paused and seemed to think better of it. Instead he walked over to Boyd and looked at him for a long moment.
"I'm going to shower." Another pause. "Thank you."
Boyd's face broke into a genuine smile. Some of the earlier doubt about whether he'd made things worse for Sin disappeared at those two words. "You're welcome."
Sin looked at him for another extended moment before finally turning aw
ay and going into the bathroom.
Boyd watched the door for a few seconds and then turned and headed into the kitchen to make something for Sin to eat. He checked the fridge first and was greeted with raw fish and meat. He raised his eyebrows and pushed items around, trying to find something that wouldn't require preparation. He'd expected to find sweets and easily microwaved options, or maybe even something to make a salad. He didn't find anything there or in the freezer.
What the hell was he supposed to do with any of that? He had no idea how to make anything on the stove or oven or whatever he was supposed to use for those kinds of things. He was almost resentful of Sin's fridge and freezer for its com
plete lack of ready-made meals.
The freezer door made a quiet whumping noise when he closed it. He frowned and looked around. There wasn't anything out on the counter and he started to check a few cupboards. There was nothing of use in the first two, except a jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread missing a few slices. He put both of those on the counter and was reaching for another cupboard when he heard his cell phone jingle.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. The display told him that he'd received a text message. When he pulled it up, he saw it was from Ryan, warning him that Carhart was looking for him. Boyd frowned, worried about what Carhart would have to say, either on his behalf or to inform him of what the administration had decided. He stared at the phone cradled in his palm for a moment, mind racing down the tracks of what if's, before he stopped them.
None of that mattered and worrying about it wasn't going to help. He'd made his decisions and he was going to stick by them, regardless of the consequences. He sent a quick thanks back to Ryan for the heads up and tossed his phone on the kitchen table.
He realized after he turned back to the counter that he no longer heard the water running in the bathroom. Knowing Sin was going to be coming out soon, he decided to make a peanut butter sandwich for the moment until he could determine what else was available.
A few moments passed before Sin came back into the main area. He was adjusting a pair of loose sweatpants and tying them in the front.
"I see you made a garbage heap of my cameras," he commented.
Boyd looked up as he twisted off the lid on the peanut butter. "I did." He put the lid down and opened a drawer, looking for the silverware.