Read Don't Hate the Player...Hate the Game Online
Authors: Katie Ashley
Tags: #loss, #death, #young love, #Grief, #teenage romance
“Give me a minute!” came her muffled reply from down
the hallway.
Glancing in the mirror, I surveyed my appearance.
Outfitted in a blue polo shirt and khaki pants, I guess I looked
appropriate enough for Jake’s Life Celebration. I mean, I don’t
know what the hell you’re supposed to wear to these kinda things.
I’d never even heard of one until Mrs. Nelson had called me two
weeks ago to invite me. It was hard to believe a whole year had
passed since Jake had died. I still thought of him each and every
day, and I still missed him like crazy.
Mom swept into my room. “Would you mind getting Emma
Grace downstairs for me while I finish packing her diaper bag?”
I bobbed my head. “No problem. Happy to help.”
“Thanks sweetheart,” she murmured.
“Mom?”
She whipped around to glance questioningly at me.
“Take a deep breath, okay?” I instructed with a grin.
With a laugh, she rose up on her tiptoes to kiss my
cheek. “Being a mom in your mid 30’s is so different than in your
teens. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going.”
“You’re doing great,” I reassured her.
She blew an errant strand of dark hair out of her
eyes. “Even with Greg, it’s not as easy as it was with you.”
“That’s because I was a super special baby.”
Mom laughed. “True. Very true.” She then hurried out
of my room, and I heard her pounding down the stairs. I crossed the
hall into the nursery and once again was bombarded by a pink
overload. In response to Mom’s choice for the nursery, Greg often
mused the line from Steel Magnolias that the room looked like it
had been hosed down with Pepto Bismol.
My sister played happily in her Pack N Play. “Hey
Baby Girl,” I said. She jerked her head up to peer at me. As
always, Mom had her decked out to the nines with a frilly dress,
tights, and a headband with a giant flower on it. Why she needed a
headband since she barely had any hair was beyond me.
Emma Grace grunted and held her arms out to me.
“Okay, okay, don’t be so pushy, Miss Spoiled,” I teased.
When she rewarded me with one of her beaming smiles,
my heart instantly melted. “Emma Grace, give your favorite brother
a kiss.” She leaned over to bestow a slobbery smooch on my cheek.
“That’s my pretty girl.”
It was hard to believe she was almost seven months
old. Time had flown since her birth at the beginning of October.
I’d managed to leave my dorm at Georgia Tech to head over to
Wellstar-Kennestone to be there for her arrival. Mom had offered to
let me stay in and watch, but I’d said, “Oh hell no!” without
hesitation.
In the end, I stayed in the waiting room with Grammy
and my aunts and uncles while Greg stayed in with Mom. Once Emma
Grace made her grand entrance, I went in to see Mom. Emma Grace was
barely half an hour old when I held her in my arms as tears
streaked down Mom’s cheeks, and Greg boohooed like a total pansy.
Well, I guess I shouldn’t make too much fun of him—someday I guess
I’ll know what it’s like to have a kid of my own.
Hoisting her onto my shoulder, I headed down the hall
to the stairs. When the doorbell rang, I got a little more bounce
in my step. Throwing it open, a smile stretched across my face. In
a way too sexy sundress for her own good, Maddie stood on the front
step.
“Hey beautiful,” I said.
She grinned. “Hey yourself. And thanks.”
Emma Grace squealed happily and waved her tiny hand
at Maddie. With a giggle, Maddie said in a sing-song voice, “Aw,
does my precious angel think I’m ignoring her?” She then took Emma
Grace from me. As Maddie smothered her in kisses, I cleared my
throat. “Um, hello? Where’s my compliments and lovin’?”
Maddie’s dark eyes took on an amused glint. With a
slightly sexier lilt to her voice, she said, “Aw, does my precious,
but jealous, boyfriend think he’s getting slighted for his
beautiful baby sister?”
I poked my bottom lip out teasingly. “Yes, I do.”
“Then let me remedy that.” Leaning over, Maddie
brought her lips to mine. I shivered with need when she thrust her
tongue into my mouth. She’d come a long way in the almost year we’d
been dating. We’d been an official couple since that day on the
airplane. Although it was a grueling, eye-opening experience, I
wouldn’t have taken anything for our time in Costa Rica.
Thankfully, when it came time to leave for college, things weren’t
too hard considering I was in downtown Atlanta at Georgia Tech, and
she was at Georgia State.
Just as we were getting hot and heavy, another squeal
of protest from Emma Grace caused us to pull away. “You are such an
attention whore,” I teased.
“Noah, don’t say that word in front of Emma Grace!”
Maddie admonished.
I grinned at her outrage. “She doesn’t know the
difference.”
“It’s still not right.”
With a smirk, I questioned, “Don’t tell me I’m going
to owe the Cuss Can?”
Maddie giggled. “You just might.”
I groaned as Mom’s heels clicked down the hall. “I’m
finally ready,” she said with a smile.
Mom leaned over and kissed Maddie’s cheek. I was
happy that two of my most favorite women in the world got along so
well. Well, I guess I should say my three most favorite women since
Emma Grace adored Maddie as well. Maddie loved spending at least
one night of our weekends home baby-sitting for Mom and Greg to
give them a date night. With Emma Grace in bed by seven, we had the
evenings to ourselves to watch movies and make-out a little.
Of course, we hadn’t gone there yet. Third base was
as far as Maddie would let me, and it was seriously killing me. I
mean, yeah, she was keeping me satisfied with that, but I wanted to
really be with her. But I loved her too much to pressure her, and I
knew when the time was right, we would go there.
Once we got Emma Grace loaded into the SUV, we headed
over to Jake’s. At first I thought the Life Celebration might
include all his old buddies, but Mrs. Nelson told me she wanted to
keep it very small—just the immediate family, which included me and
Maddie. As we neared his house, the familiar pangs of grief
tightened in my chest. It was true that time healed all wounds, but
it didn’t quite mend a broken heart.
When we arrived at Jake’s house, Jason greeted us at
the door. “Hey guys!” he said with a beaming smile. As Mom and
Maddie stood talking with Jason and the Asshole, I headed on down
the hall to the kitchen.
Mrs. Nelson bustled around, putting the final touches
on the food. I couldn’t help smiling when I saw who she was
balancing in her arms.
Two months after Emma Grace was born, Presley gave
birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl—Evelyn Hope Nelson. Evie,
pronounced Ev-e, was Mrs. Nelson’s namesake, and I had to give
Presley props for doing something so thoughtful. Of course, Presley
was practically a member of the Nelson family now—Jake’s old room
had been given to her and Evie so she could divide her time between
her house and Jake’s. Even the Asshole had warmed to her, and as
for his granddaughter, Evie had him wrapped around her tiny finger.
It was good for Presley having the support considering she was in
college and working part-time. Of course, the Nelson’s took care of
most of the financial obligations for Evie. And I had to hand it to
Presley. She’d really done a 180 and was a good, caring mother.
It was hard imaging Jake with a baby period, but the
thoughts of him with a daughter was too surreal. Deep down, I knew
he would have been fiercely protective of Evie and would have loved
her with all his heart and soul. I would have given anything if he
had been able to be there to hold her and rock her to
sleep—especially to change her dirty diapers, which he would have
loathed.
“Hi Mrs. Nelson,” I said.
She whirled around and gave me a genuine smile—one I
hadn’t seen on her face for such a long time. “Well hello.” She
reached over to give me a hug. As I pulled away, I stared down at
Evie. Her blue eyes—Jake’s deep shade of blue—peered up at me.
“How’s my goddaughter doing?” I asked, tenderly
touching Evie’s dark head. Like Emma Grace, she was outfitted in a
fluffy and frilly dress along with a hairbow.
Mrs. Nelson beamed. “Absolutely wonderful. Wanna hold
her?”
I smiled. “Sure.” As Evie was passed over to me, I
kissed her cheek. If anyone had doubts about her being Jake’s baby,
all they had to do was look at her. It wasn’t just her eyes—she was
an exact replica of Jake from her nose to the shape of her mouth.
It was like Presley hadn’t even had a part in the baby—Evie and
Jake’s baby pictures were identical as well. It was bittersweet
looking into her tiny face and seeing him staring out at you.
“Where’s Presley?” I asked.
“She and Jonathan went to get some ice.” A knowing
smile played on her lips before she turned back to stir the green
beans.
“They’ve been spending a lot of time together
lately,” I mused. Jonathan and I had ended up rooming together at
Tech, rather than Jake. It hadn’t escaped me that he was often
talking to Presley on the phone or going places with her. He tried
to play it off that he enjoyed spending time with Evie, but I knew
better. They were falling for each other, but neither one of them
knew how to do it because of Jake. And I knew all too well what
having the specter of Jake hanging over you felt like.
Maddie entered the kitchen then. At the sight of Evie
in my arms, she grinned. “How’s Miss Mini-Me?” she asked.
I laughed at her reference to Evie being a perfect
Jake replica. “She’s good.” Glancing past her, I saw Jason holding
Emma Grace while Mom and the Asshole talked.
Presley and Jonathan breezed in the backdoor then,
loaded down with shopping bags. At the sight of me, Presley gave a
beaming smile. “Hey Noah. Glad you could make it.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
When Presley opened her mouth to say something else,
Evie gave a loud cry and began squirming in my arms. With her hands
full, Jonathan quickly deposited his bags on the counter and took
Evie from me. She immediately stopped crying.
I quirked my brows at him. “I never knew you were
such a natural with babies,” I teased.
An amusing flush entered his cheeks. “It’s not that.
She just knows me better than you,” he replied, cradling Evie to
his chest.
“Okay everyone, let’s sit down to eat,” Mrs. Nelson
instructed.
As we crowded around the dining room table, I still
couldn’t help but feel Jake’s absence. I wanted to hear his
laughter and his voice echoing through the room. With a resigned
sigh, I eased down in my chair next to Maddie. Sensing my emotions,
she reached over and squeezed my hand.
Before we started eating, the Asshole stood up in his
chair. “I just wanted to thank you all for coming out today to
honor the one year anniversary of Jake’s death.” Surprisingly his
voice wavered for a moment. “It means so much that Jake’s memory is
still being kept alive by those who loved him, and that he will
live on not just in his beautiful daughter, but through all of his
family and friends.”
I tried not to let my mouth fall open in shock at the
Asshole’s sincere comments. “So raise your glass, even though it’s
only tea and coke, to Jake.”
I grabbed my glass and hoisted it in the air. “To
Jake,” Mr. Nelson said.
“To Jake,” we all replied in unison.
***
Later Maddie and I lay tangled in each other’s arms
on the couch watching a movie. Mom and Greg were at work, and Emma
Grace was fast asleep. “You know our one year anniversary is coming
up soon,” I mused.
“It is.” She kissed my cheek. “I’m so proud you
remembered without me having to remind you,” she said with a
teasing grin.
I laughed. “How could I ever forget?” Playing with a
strand of her long, dark hair, I said, “I was just wondering what
you wanted to do to celebrate. Go to a fancy dinner or stay in? I’m
down for whatever you want to do.”
Maddie’s fingers drew circles over my hand. “Well, I
was thinking I wanted to do something big.”
“Like what?”
She glanced up to give me a smile that lit me on fire
from head to toe. “Make love for the first time.”
I shot up on the couch and stared at her in shock.
“Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
“But I thought—”
Maddie brought her finger to my lips. “If I’ve
learned anything in the last year, it’s to say what you feel and
experience as much life as you can. You’ve held up to your end of
the bargain, Noah. You show me each and every day how much you love
me, and you’ve been so very patient and understand with me. I know
I should wait until I get married, but I know that I love you.”
“And I love you too.” I brought my lips to hers,
kissing her with a mixture of hunger and love. When I pulled away,
I smiled at her. “I’m not going anywhere, Maddie. You mean
everything to me—you saved me from the darkness and brought me to
the light. And I can’t imagine a future without you in it. I intend
on spending the rest of my life with you.”
Maddie kissed me tenderly. “I love you, Noah.”
“I love you too.”
While that traitorous horndog male in me did a happy
dance that I was going to get laid in a few weeks, the emotional
side of me realized the enormity of the situation. Yeah, I was
nineteen, and I’d found my soulmate. And like Maddie had said,
Jake’s death had taught me to live in the moment while also looking
to the future.
And with my family and friends and Maddie at my side,
my future was very, very bright.
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