Authors: Tamsyn Bester
“Cassey, wait!” Kyler calls out behind me. His voice is drowned out by the
blood rushing in my ears, and I suddenly feel like I can’t breathe. I rush out
back into the club, and search frantically for Quinn. I spot her at the bar with
Jarred, and shove the other club-goers out of my way. Quinn’s smiling face
drops when she see’s me, and she rushes over.
“Are you okay, Cass?”
I shake my head no, unable to speak at the moment.
“You ready to leave?”
I nod, wiping my face, not worrying about the make-up.
“Let’s go, sweety, we’ll call a cab.”
“No,” I cry. “Stay here with Jarred. I’ll get a cab myself.”
“I’m not leaving you alone,” Quinn says, and I love her for it. But I need to
be alone.
I shake my head adamantly. “It’s okay, I just need to be alone. I’ll text you
when I get back to my place.”
Quinn hesitates. “Okay,” she sighs. “But let me know that you’re home safe.”
She hugs me, and another part of me cracks. I let her go, and find the exit.
On the drive home, I cry silently in the back of the cab, and on the way up
to my apartment. I shut the door, and in the dark, silence around me, I fall
to the floor, and sob. Twenty minutes later, I hear banging on the door, and
jump.
“Cassey! I know you’re there, I can hear you!”
It’s Kyler. I stand up on shaky legs and wait.
“Please let me in, Cass! I’m so sorry baby. I’m sorry I upset you.”
I convince myself that if I let Kyler in, we can talk and get it over with. I
calm my nerves and my breathing, and open the door.
“Cassey, I’m so sorry,” Kyler says again, walking in quickly. He shuts the door,
and makes his way towards me. He doesn’t touch me, but I can see he wants
to. I can also see fear, and concern in his eyes.
“W-why are you here?” I ask.
“Because you’re upset, and I need you to talk to me.”
“There’s nothing more to say,” I reply. It’s a lie. There’s so much more to say.
“I’m not buying it,” he says.
My emotional state takes a turn into frustration. “What do you want from
me?”
“I want you to tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours dammit!”
Kyler grips his hair.
“I don’t know!” I cry out. “You want me to believe that nothing happened
between you and Jessa so that we can go back to how things were, and I can’t
do that again.”
Kyler’s face falls, and it’s like a kick in the stomach. But I can’t put his feeling
before my own. Not this time.
“I can’t be your,” I pause, trying to form the words in my tight throat, “fuck
buddy again.”
Kyler’s somber expression morphs into one of rage, and he steps closer to me
until our noses are almost touching. “You think that’s what we were? Fuck
buddies?” His voice is harsh and angry. “It might’ve started out that way, but
baby, you.fucking.own.me.”
“You don’t want what I want,” I say. “You want no-strings-attached and I
can’t do that with you anymore.”
“Good,” he growls. “Because I can’t do that anymore either.”
I frown, confused. Did he come all this way to reject me? God, I’m exhausted, this is killing me. I open my mouth to say as much but my words disappear when Kyler crashes his mouth to mine.
“No, we’re not doing this. I’m not sleeping with you for old times sake. You
don’t want me anymore, and that’s fine, but don’t fuck with my feelings anymore, Kyler. I can’t take any more of this.”
“You think that’s what this is? That I’m going to fuck you, and walk out
that door afterwards?”
I look down, but don’t answer him. Kyler tilts my chin with his finger.
“You are so wrong, Cass. So very wrong. I have no intention of leaving here
until you know exactly how I feel about you.”
I look into his eyes, hoping he can see the question I can’t ask. How dow you
feel about me?
“I love you,” he blurts out. “I’m in love with you.”
I stare at him, stunned speechless for the time being. He waits, and when I
don’t respond I almost feel the fight leave his body.
“If you don’t feel the same way,” he adds softly, “I understand. I - ”
In a moment of weakness, I shut him up with my mouth. I kiss him like my
life depends on it. I don’t trust myself to say anything with words.
So I don’t.
Kyler lifts me up, and carries me to my bed. He strips me of my dress, and
then removes his own clothes. I watch as crawls over to me, and settles between my legs. His mouth slants over mine, and he kisses me gently, with
reverence. Tears roll down my temples as the magnitude of what I feel for
him settles over me, overwhelming me.
“Don’t cry,” Kyler whispers, kissing each of my eye lids in turn. “I can’t stand
to see you hurting.”
When my eyes open and meet his intense gaze, I see what my heart is too
scared to believe. He loves me.
“I love you,” I say quietly. “Make love to me.”
He smiles shyly, and presses a kiss to my lips as he pushes into me slowly. My
legs go around his waist and I hug his body to mine. His hips move in slow
even strokes, and I feel ready to combust. Our moans fill my dark bedroom
and our bodies collide in a store of lust, and passion, and love. Nothing we’ve
ever done can equal what I feel right now.
“So good,” Kyler murmurs into my ear. “So beautiful.”
I hitch my legs higher, and Kyler circles his hips, making me cry out in delirious pleasure. Our fingers thread together above my head, and Kyler’s mouth
travels down my neck to my breasts. He sucks a piqued nipple into his
mouth, and the first swirl of my orgasm sparks to life in my core. I feel ever
part of Kyler on my skin, basking in the way our skin rubs together. After
teasing my nipples raw, Kyler’s mouth comes back to mine, and for the hours
that follow, he makes me believe his words. He loves me.
I’m woken up by the feel of Kyler’s mouth making its way down my spine.
He lays sweet, hot kisses down the length of my back, stopping at the dimples above my butt. “Hmmmm” I hum, turning around to face him. He rolls
on top of me, and I spread my legs, his heavy erection resting on my belly.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he coos. I probably look terrible, with messy hair,
and raccoon eyes from the make-up I had on last night. I love that it doesn’t
matter to Kyler though. He still thinks I’m beautiful.
“ Morning.” I smile. My hands roam his back, trailing every dip and every
curve of his hard muscles. This man is beautiful, an Adonis. My Adonis. He
looks into my eyes, into my soul, and I’m almost breathless all over again.
“I could get used to this,” he murmurs. He kisses my neck, and moves lower
to my breasts. I arch my back as he pulls a nipple into his mouth, grazing it
with his teeth.
“Ohhh,” I moan. Kyler hums and the vibrations travel through my body. I
grab Kyler’s hair, and give it a tug. He rewards me with a feral growl, and
captures my mouth.
My stomach rumbles, and we both stop. He stares at me for a beat, and then
we both burst into a fit of giggles.
“Sorry,” I say around my laughter. “You depleted my energy last night.”
Kyler’s face falls slightly and he gives me a sad smile. “Listen, Cass, about
last night - ”
I put my finger on his mouth to silence him. “It’s fine. Can we just move on
and forget about it?”
“I’m sorry,” he replies, apologizing for the thousandth time.
“Everything before ‘I love you’ doesn’t matter,” I tell him.
His mouth slants into his shy smile, and his eyes glisten with the love I feel
pulsating between us.
“That happened, huh?” he asks.
“It did. You said you love me.” I grin, deliriously happy.
“I do,” he says quietly.
“I love you, too.” I press a feather light kiss to his mouth. My stomach rumbles again.
“Okay, baby, time to feed my woman.”
Kyler jumps out of bed, and I wrap myself in a silk robe. Kyler pulls on a pair
of sweats he keeps at my apartment, and walks to the kitchen. I lift myself
on the breakfast island and watch Kyler move around my kitchen like he belongs there. Granted, he’s been in my kitchen many times, but after last night
it feels different. Everything feels different.
“What do you feel like?” Kyler asks, bending at the waist to see what’s in my
fridge.
“Ummm…” I pause, admiring the view. “I kind of like what I’m looking at
right now.”
Kyler stands and turns to face me. “That makes two of us.”
His hands slide up my exposed thighs, and my skin breaks out into goosebumps. “We’d better not get freaky on the counter,” I say. “I don’t think the
landlord would appreciate it.”
Kyler pulls his bottom lip into his mouth, and his brows dip into a slight
frown. He looks unsure of himself.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“I probably should have mentioned who your landlord is when you signed
the lease agreement,” he replies.
“Why? Who is it?”
“Me.”
“What? How?” I ask, confused and slightly taken back.
“I bought it, the day I showed it to you,” he replies. He watches my face,
gauging my reaction.
“But why?”
“You needed an apartment, and I figured it would be a good investment. So I
bought it.”
I don’t know what to say. I should be angry, but looking into Kyler’s eyes
makes it hard.
“You did it for me?”
“Yes. I did it for you. Don’t be mad.”
I shake my head, fighting the way his sentiment has my emotions doing cartwheels.
“Thank you,” I say quietly. “It’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”
And it is. I can’t help but think that it’s the ‘Grand Gesture’ women are always talking about, only Kyler made it long before our fight.
Kyler kisses my nose. “You’re welcome, baby. Can I make you breakfast now?”
he asks with a chuckle.
“I suggest you do. I plan on taking advantage of you all day.”
Kyler clears his throat, and steps away, causing me to laugh. “Is an omelet
good for you?”
“Sounds delicious.”
Kyler prepares all the ingredients, and I decide to check my phone. I read the
five texts from Quinn, all asking if I’m okay and if I got home safe last night,
and reply quickly. I tell her I’m fine, and promise to call her later. When I
walk back into the kitchen, Kyler is plating an omelet, and the smell makes
me salivate. Kyler lifts me onto the breakfast island and comes to stand between my legs.
“Open,” he says. I open my mouth, and Kyler starts feeding me. I can’t deny
that it’s a major turn on. I chew the tasty food appreciatively as Kyler takes a
bite of his own. He feeds me a few more bites until we’ve devoured the food,
and then cleans up before picking me up and carrying me to the bathroom.
He sets me down on the edge of the tub, and starts the hot water. When the
tub is full, I stand up and push Kyler’s sweats down his legs. The silk robe
slides down my body, and Kyler’s hands trace my curves. I climb into the tub,
and Kyler settles behind me.
“What are you thinking about?” Kyler asks, breaking the comfortable silence.
I smile, loving the way he can read me so easily. “Nothing in particular,” I
reply.
“Tell me,” he presses. He kisses my shoulder, and I rub up and down his
thighs.
I sigh, partly because I’m enjoying the feel of his chest pressed up against my
back, and partly because what I’m thinking about can’t be classified as tubtalk. But I want Kyler to know me, even if that means telling him about my
poor upbringing.
“My parents,” I reply reluctantly. Kyler’s hands cup my breasts and it’s a little
difficult to concentrate.
“You’ve never spoken about them before,” he says. “Are they still around?”
“Yeah,” I reply. “They’re in Georgia.”
Kyler must sense my unease because he takes a deep breath and says, “We
don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, Cass. I didn’t mean to make
you feel uncomfortable.”
I crane my neck and gently kiss Kyler’s lips. “I’m just not proud of where I
come from, that’s all.”
“You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are not your past.”
“I know, but it’s a little difficult to forget about it when my parents are
hounding me for money.” I pinch my lips. I wasn’t supposed to say anything
about that. It’s not his problem to deal with.
“They’re what?”
“It doesn’t matter, I’m dealing with it.”
Kyler places his hands on my hips, and turns me around to straddle him.
“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you.”
My hands rest on Kyler’s chest, and I look at him from below my lashes. “We
weren’t talking,” I say quietly, willing my brain not to take a trip down memory lane to last week. “And even if we were, I still wouldn’t have told you. It’s
my problem.”
Kyler pulls me closer until his mouth is inches from mine. “Well, now it is
our problem. Let me help you.”
I think about it for a moment. I don’t expect him to help me, but having him
for added support helps ease the weight on my shoulders. I nod once before
Kyler takes my mouth in his.
Kyler and I spend the rest of the afternoon in bed, and eventually move to
the kitchen for dinner. It’s a little after ten in the evening when we fall asleep
on the sofa, only to be woken up by knocking on my door. Kyler stretches
and yawns, and I stand up to open the door. When I do, I find a teary-eyed
Quinn standing in front of me with an overnight bag in her hand. Her hair
is a mess, and she’s pale, like she’s seen a ghost.
“I-I’m sorry to show up here so late,” she says, her voice hitching. “But I had
nowhere else to go.”
“Of course, Quinny. Come in.”
Kyler sees Quinn’s distraught expression, and takes her bag from her. He
kisses my forehead. “I’ll leave you two girls alone for a while. I need to go to
my place and grab some clothes and my laptop.”
“Okay, I’ll see you in a bit,” I reply, kissing him. “Be careful.”
Kyler leaves and I usher Quinn to the sofa. “Are you okay?” I ask her.
“No.” She heaves a breath and her lip trembles.
“What happened?”
“Cass, I’m…I’m pregnant.”
“Oh, sweety, that’s great! I’m so happy for you!” I hug Quinn which only
seems to make her cry harder.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I told Jarred, and he totally lost it. We ended up having this huge fight, and
I left.”
“I’m sure he’ll come around, Quinny. It probably came as a bit of a shock to
him. I mean, you guys weren’t trying to have a baby, were you?”
Quinn shakes her head. “No! And I was also shocked, but I didn’t react like a
complete maniac!”
Quinn cries harder and I rub her back, trying to soothe her distress.
“What did he say to you?” I ask carefully. God help him if he said anything
to debase her.
“He just started yelling at me, accusing me of wanting to ruin his career by
getting pregnant on purpose. He said I was trying to trap him into marriage.”
She takes a deep, calming breath, and just simply shakes her head again.
“Which is ridiculous. We’ve only been living together for a month, and before that, we’d only been dating for a year. I only told him I’m in love with
him just before we moved in together, and now this…”
Her hands shake, so I wrap them in mine, and steady them. “Everything will
be okay,” I assure her.
“I can’t do this alone, Cass.” Quinn’s sad, watery eyes meet mine. For the first
time since we met, she looks vulnerable, and scared.
“And you won’t have to. You have me, and your parents. You’re keeping it,
aren’t you?”
“Of course I am.” Her hands rest on her stomach. “Whether Jarred is happy
about this or not, this baby was made out of love. It’s my baby, I would never want to give it up. Sure, I would’ve liked to wait a few more years, but I’m
not going to love this baby any less.”
“This kid is going to have the best godmother in town,” I tease.
Quinn giggles, the tension leaving her body. “Can I spend the night?” she
asks.
“Of course, you know you don’t even have to ask. You must be tired. You can
take a shower if you want, and then sleep in the guest bedroom.”
“Thank you so much,” she says, hugging me to her.
“Anything for you,” I reply honestly. I love Quinn like a sister, she knows I
would do anything for her.
I leave Quinn to settle in, and decide to crawl into bed. My eye lids close
quickly, and soon I’m overcome by a deep, calm slumber.