Defect (9 page)

“Go pick up your
gun,” Will says to me. His voice is low and commanding and washes over me, making my heart thud in anticipation. My lips part slightly, and my breathing speeds up as my body responds to him. I focus on slowing my breathing, and I walk the few paces to pick up the gun from the ground.

He comes up behind me and places his hands on my hips. His touch is firm
, knowing, and he straightens my hips toward the target. My feet follow. “Square up to the target.” He moves my hips forward just slightly. He’s so close I can feel his breath on the top of my head.

I muster a nod and do my best to pay attention.

“Hold it just like you were before; that part was right.”

At least I wasn’t a total moron. I had one thing right. “Maybe I’m just not strong enough to do this,” I say softly.

“I don’t believe that. Do you?”

I don’t answer.

“You were holding your breath. This time, when you fire, make sure you exhale.” My heart flutters erratically under his touch. He drops his hands from my waist and steps back. “Okay?”

I swallow.

Even after he steps several back, it takes me a few moments to catch my breath. When I do, I pull back on the trigger with new confidence and breathe out at just the same moment. The darts nail the target with a thud. I almost jump at the sound, I’m so on edge.

“Much better,” he says. “Do it again.”

I do it again, just like he showed me and hit the target again.

Will doesn’t say
anything; he just exchanges a knowing glance with Rena.

I try it a few more times, hitting the target each time.

“Okay, Eve, you can go to lunch,” Will says.

I turn to them. “Can I
… talk to Rena for a second?”

He looks me over, thinking. I hope he assumes it’s about improving my skills with the
pulse guns. He nods. “Just hurry up, you don’t get much time to eat.”

Thankfully, Will turns and leaves, heading inside. I wouldn’t know how to have this conversation with him here. I barely know what to say as it is.
I had all afternoon with her and couldn’t work up the courage.

Rena faces me, looking more nervous than
she was with a group of amateurs with weapons.

“When I said my last name, you knew it. Did you know my mother? Britta Sterling.”

Rena swallows, and her eyes shift to the building, ensuring we’re alone. She takes a deep breath. “I didn’t know her personally, but yes, your mother was here when I first began teaching here.”

“What happened? Why was she here, and how did she get out?”

Rena looks me over. “You are a mix of both of them, light eyes, dark hair, slight build, your mother’s height,” she says.

“You knew my father
, too?” My mouth goes dry.

“Your mother was the first Defect we have on file.
They stuck her in the hospital and used her as a guinea pig, running all kinds of tests.” She scratches absently at her wrist. My eyes flash to her tattoo. “They put her in Dr. Elway’s care, trying to figure out what was different about her. He was a brilliant, young neuroscientist with promising research.” She smiles, like she remembers him fondly.  I sense that she is about to stop, afraid of saying too much. I hold my breath, waiting for her to continue.

“No one could have ever predicted they would fall in love
– doctor and mental patient. But they did; your parents loved each other very much. Your mother became pregnant and when word got out, the whole operation here became the laughing stock of the capital. It was a black mark against the work they were doing that one simple girl could fool them so easily, and they didn’t even know how. When she began to grow bigger with you, they released her, wanting to forget the whole thing.”

I guess I
know the rest of the story. I just don’t understand why my mother kept it from me. “What became of my father?”

Rena places her hands on my shoulders and bends down closer to me. “You must be very careful, Eve Sterling.”

After dinner, the
bunker is full of people hanging out. The couches are a tangle of limbs, and the tables are overtaken by card games. I stay close to Sam. I’m still processing the information Rena told me earlier, and I’m in no mood to play cards.

Sam
and I sit on the floor, our backs against the wall, so we can see the whole room. Sitting like this makes me think of Willow, and I feel guilty that I haven’t thought of her before now. I remember leaving her with Tuesday in her arms and wonder if I’ll see either of them again. Sabrina, Alex and a few others sit at a table across the room, playing cards.

“So how long have you been here?” I ask
Sam.

“Almost
a year.”

Though she puts on a brave front, there is sadness
in her voice. I nod. “So when will you get your assignment here? I mean, when does the training end?”

“It’s usually about one year, but it all depends on when your instructors say you’re through.”

“I don’t understand. What’s all this for then? The training, the races, the tests?”

“
After every test, we’re ranked. It all goes in our files. At the end of the year, we’re assigned a position and a cell, I mean a room at the compound.” She grins, halfheartedly. “Most of us will become fence patrol, but Will and Kane, for instance, they were damn good, and became instructors.”

“How long has Will been here?” My curiosity gets the better of me.

“Over two years.”

According to my calculation, that made him about nineteen. I shudder. No wonder Will is so hardened. But at the same time, I wanted to get strong, to conquer the obstacles they put in front of me, to prove to myself that I am not a Defect.

We glance up as one of the tables erupts in laughter.
“How come they give you guys so much freedom here?” I’m still amazed by the free time we have at night to just hang out. “I mean, what’s to prevent you from escaping?”

She takes my hand and presses my fingers to the inside of her wrist. I feel a small, hard
nodule under her skin. “This.”

“What…”

“It’s a tracking device. All the soldiers have them. I’m sure you’ll have one implanted soon enough, now that it looks like you’ll be staying with us.” Her fingers run over the lump again and again, as if she’s still getting used to it. “You could leave, but they’d find you anywhere you went. And this,” she holds up her wrist, “would lead them straight to you.”

I nod my understanding. So even though the soldiers have more freedom than those in the hospital, they would never truly be free. 

“It’s tamper proof. And they put it here,” she runs her finger along the veins at her wrist, “because if you ever tried to remove it – you’d bleed to death.”

I shudder involuntarily.

She mistakes my reaction for fear of the procedure. “Don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt too bad when they put it in – it’s more like a shot.” She looks at my arms. “Which I see you’ve had plenty of.”

I look down.
My arms are still bruised from the injections, but now purple has given way to fading greens and yellows.

Alex walks over and stands in front of us. “Hey, Sam, can I talk to Eve for a second?”

Sam gets up and joins Sabrina and a guy I’ve seen her noticing – Jake – in a game, leaving me sitting face-to-face with Alex’s crotch.

He sits down beside me, but he’s too quiet.

“What’s up?” I ask, finally.

“I wanted to make sure you weren’t mad about my comment at breakfast.”

I think through his comments this morning and which one he thinks offended me.
Oh
. My cheeks brighten, remembering that he implied Will’s visit in the night was somehow fueled by sexual desire.

“No
… no,” I stumble.

“It’s just that you got really quiet after that.”

“No, that wasn’t because of you. I just probably shouldn’t have said anything about that – it wasn’t like that, ya know?”

He studies his chewed fingernails. I can tell he doesn’t understa
nd – his experience with Will has been totally different than mine. Suddenly I’m thankful that Will waited until everyone was gone before he touched me this morning. I don’t need this becoming a situation.

Alex looks up at me. “I just wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings. And besides, I’m sure Will wouldn’t do anything like that. Just ask Lexi.” He smiles.

Once again, I’m annoyed that Lexi’s name pops up in relation to Will. I almost ask him what he means, but decide against it. Alex might not be the most discreet and I wouldn’t want it getting out that I was asking about whatever it was that Will and Lexi had going.

“So, we’re cool?” he asks.

“We’re cool,” I confirm.

The next morning, I’m shaken awake by rough hands. It’s still dark and I realize the alarm hasn’t even gone off yet
. Kane is standing beside my bunk, which he can easily see over, though I have to climb up a ladder to reach.

“Come
with me,” he says gruffly. My first instinct is to refuse, but then he says, “Will wants me to bring you to him.”

I’m not sure if I should trust him, or go anywhere alone with him, but decide I have little choice.
I throw off the sheet and climb down.

Kane
waits in the bunker while I use the bathroom, wash my face and re-braid my hair so it lies over my shoulder. I meet him in the bunker and follow in silence into the darkened hallway. I don’t ask any questions to avoid any unnecessary attention from him. We’re in a different part of the building that I’ve never been in before, when he stops in front of a door, nods once, then leaves. I’m not sure whether to knock or just go in, but the card access reader decides for me. I tap softly on the door.

Will
opens the door. A white T-shirt hugs his lean frame, and his feet are bare. Even at four-thirty in the morning, he looks wide awake and in complete control. He tilts his head, motioning me in past him. The room smells like him. I realize it’s his dorm room – his
private
dorm room. I wonder if Lexi has been here. There’s a bed with a side table and a locker. My eyes land on the bed. The white sheets are rumpled and there’s an indent from his body. But that’s not what’s captured my attention. My file sits open on his mattress, the papers spilling out.

I look to him, trying to understand what’s happening, why he called me here, why he’s been reading my file. “Why am I here? Did I do something wrong?”

“We have things to do today, so I asked Kane to take over training.” It’s too quiet, the tiny room too full of him. “I’m taking you to get your chip,” he says.

“Oh.” I blink. That’s all? That’s why he brought me all the way here?

He sits down on the edge of the bed and begins lacing up his boots. “Besides, we’ve got a big test coming up that will be important for the rankings. We need to make sure you’re ready.”

I wonder w
hy on earth he’d be helping me.

He finishe
s lacing his boots and stands in front of me again. “I’m your instructor, Sterling. That’s my job,” he says, reading my expression.

“Oh
.” I shake my head, clearing away the distrust in my thoughts. I guess that does make sense, but then I think about it a second longer and remember the night of the obstacle course. “If you’re so concerned with how I’m performing, why’d you leave when I fought Bryce?”

He looks down, the confidence draining from his face. “
Come on. Let’s go get this over with.”

**
*

I follow him back to the hospital
. I can tell by the way the ground slopes upward that that’s where we’re going. My stomach becomes a mess of nerves. Will drops me off in an exam room and leaves to find a nurse. I sit down on the exam table and let my legs dangle from the end. He returns a few minutes later with Susanne. I’m relieved it’s her. I don’t ever want to see the head nurse, Dorie, again. Thinking of them reminds me of Willow and her life that’s been thrown away.

“You’re a bit pale.” Susanne places her fingertips on my wrist and watches the clock.
“Nothing to worry about.” She pats the top of my hand.

I was nervous before I saw the needle, bu
t now my pulse spikes. It’s bigger than I expected and glints under the florescent lights.

She
examines my wrist, her fingers prodding for the right spot. “Just a quick sting,” she says. Will leans back against the wall, looking bothered. He must not like needles any more than I do.

Susanne brings the needle to my wrist and I feel it dig its way under my skin. She
drives it deeper, and I begin to feel woozy. Then she pushes the plunger down and I hear a click as the chip is deposited under my skin.