Defect (5 page)

I feel human again, dressed in clothes
rather than a hospital gown or scrubs, with my hair neatly secured back from my face.

Next
Sam brings me into a large, sterile kitchen and rummages through the stainless steel double-door refrigerator. “We already had dinner, so it’ll just be whatever’s left.”

M
y encounter with her has already been more than I was expecting.

She produces
a thick slice of ham, a hunk of cheese and grabs some bread from the counter. She assembles the sandwich while I stand there, my mouth watering.

When she pushes it towards me, I hesitate, but only for a second. I’m again overcome by her kindness, but then remember that she
’s under orders from Will – that is all. She hands me the sandwich, and for the first time, I notice the numbers tattooed at her wrist.
5486
. So she’s a Defect, just like me.

I grab for the sandwich and take a big bite into it. I haven’t had meat or really anything of substance since I’ve been here – over
two weeks now – and with today’s mental and physical exertion, I’m starved in a way I didn’t know was possible.

“So, what are you in for?” She smiles.

I don’t know how honest to be, though something tells me I can trust her. It’s just that after my incident where I admitted to Willow about failing the mindscan – I’m not so sure now. But I’m not good at lying, especially since it would require coming up with something on the spot. I swallow the bite I’ve been chewing. “I actually don’t know – they said I failed the mindscan.”

She looks taken aback, and it’s clear she’s never heard of that happening.
“Hm.”

“Yeah, I know – that’s why they’re trying to figure out what’s going on with me. I had tests all afternoon.”

She nods, looking concerned.

“Do you know
Kane?” I’m almost afraid to ask, but the look on her face sets me at ease once again.

“
Yeah. He’s one of the instructors for new recruits. You have to be careful around him.”

I nod. I know that firsthand.

“If you act too tough, he’ll put you in your place. But if you act too weak, that’ll just piss him off, and he’ll use you to prove a point.”

So maybe neither strategy would have worked with him today. And it’s not like I
could have escaped his notice, being one-on-one with him this afternoon. “Yeah, I figured that out.”

She turn
s serious for a moment. “Don’t be mad at Kane though; where do you think he gets his orders?”

I shrug
.

“Will and O’Donovan.”

“So you’re going to become a guard?” I ask, changing the subject.

“Yeah.
They take those who are strong and train us to become compound patrol guards. Essentially making us do the dirty jobs for the military. After training, we live here, but we work in different posts all around the city, mostly fence patrol.”

I nod.
I think of the uniformed guards marching along the fence. It always made me feel safe, knowing that they were keeping the Radicals out. Now I’m starting to wonder if their sole purpose was keeping us in. “Is it as bad as it seems? I mean, what’s it like in here?”

She looks around, confirming we’re alone
before she answers. “It’s not as bad as you might think. We train here for one year. It’s hard during the day, but our nights are free. Once they say we’re finished– we’re assigned a position in the compound.”

I finish the sandwich while she watches.
She brings me a cup of water. I sense that she’s stalling before calling Will, and I’m grateful once again.

“
How are you holding up in Ward A?”

I take a sip of water, which soothes my throat, and then down the rest in one gulp.
Sam takes it to the sink to refill. “Not great.” I don’t meet her eyes. I’m suddenly filled with emotion at having such a normal conversation with a girl my age, who seems to understand what I’m going through.

“You should try to get
transferred over here and become one of us,” she says, though she won’t meet my eyes. I can tell she believes it would be a long shot – my slight physical build, my height, none of it makes me a suitable guard.

“Yeah,” I agree weakly.

Once it’s clear I’m through, we stare at each other a few minutes longer, and she shifts uneasily. I can tell she won’t risk keeping me here, not wanting to get in trouble with Will. And I don’t blame her.

We
go back to the bunker, and Sam calls Will over the intercom while I sink down into the sofa to wait. She goes back to join the game of cards she left. A few minutes later, Will enters the door to the bunker again. Being off my feet for the first time in hours has made me realize how tired I am. I blink slowly, taking in the sight of him. He’s looking straight at me, watching me like I’m a real person and not a criminal. He walks closer.

“I have to take you back now.”

I nod and stand up – the height difference between us is exaggerated with him this close. My head doesn’t even clear his chin. He steps back, as if realizing for the first time how close we’re standing. He nods once toward Sam, thanking her silently. He turns for the door, confident that I’ll follow him back to the hospital wing. Which, of course I do.

When I
wake in the morning, my jaw is sore. I remember the violent hit from Kane and shudder. I‘d never been struck before, and I was more shocked than anything at the time. But now my body is feeling its effects. When I got back to the hospital last night, the nurse on duty gave me a quick dose of medicine, and I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

The sun is high in the sky, so I know
it’s late morning. My daily cup of broth sits cold on the table beside my bed, and my feet have been unshackled. I’ve never slept through the morning visit from the nurse before, so it’s a testament to how exhausting yesterday’s testing proved to be. The one bright spot was Sam. Though I knew it’d be difficult, I hoped I could be given a chance to become a soldier. Surely anything was better than living in a drugged stupor. I would just need to find a way to avoid becoming Kane’s target.

I dr
ink the cold broth and feel Willow watching me.

“Where were you?” S
he eyes me accusingly.

I can
still smell the chlorine on my skin and know it would be no use lying to her. “They took me for testing.” I leave out the parts where they tried to drown me and about seeing how the soldiers lived. Meeting Will and Sam had started to change my mind ever so slightly about this place – but Willow couldn’t know that. She has no chance of getting out.

The cat I’ve seen wandering,
Tuesday, she’s called, hops up onto my lap, kneading my stomach with her paws. I never understood why cats did this. I watch her work with a smirk on my face. Willow clears her throat and when I look over at her, I swear I catch a bit of jealousy on her face.

Before I ha
ve time to process what it means, the door swings open. It’s time for the next dosage. A nurse I haven’t seen before begins making her rounds, going from bed to bed with a tray of syringes. When she reaches my bed, she grabs my wrist to verify. “5491, you’re to report to the lab for testing.”

I nod and pull
the blankets from my legs. I breathe a sigh of relief at not being stuck with a needle again, but begin to worry that I’ll have to spend the day with Kane.

“I’ll walk you there as soon as I’m through.”

She goes to Willow’s bed next. I feel bad that Willow didn’t have the opportunity to pretend she was still sleeping, since we’d been sitting up talking. She presses the needle to Willow’s arm, and I wince. I carry Tuesday to Willow’s bed and tuck her in safely by her side. I stand there, smoothing my hand over Tuesday’s fur and Willow’s hair, until the nurse is ready to escort me down the hall, and Willow’s eyes begin falling closed.

Just before I turn to follow the nurse from the room, Willow grabs my hand. “Be careful, Eve.”
Her voice is thick and groggy.

I nod and
squeeze her hand.

**
*

The nurse
brings me to the lab I was in yesterday, disappearing as soon as I’m in front of the door. I enter to a confused looking Dr. Nolan and stand beside the data terminal I was stationed at yesterday. “So, how’d I do, Doc?”

He looks up
, and his eyes narrow, like I’m a puzzle he’s trying to solve.

“Well,” he draws out the word, “that’s the thing.” He sets
down the papers he’s been reading. “Didn’t really learn much.” He releases a deep sigh. “O’Donovan’s not happy with me. But the thing is – your brain just seems to work differently.” 

I consider his words, but they have no meaning. I know I am painfully normal, that’s the
main thing about me. I’ve never stood out in any way, from smarts, to looks, to personality, to athleticism. I’ve always been average – at best. “So, what are we going to do today? More tests?”

He pats the stool across from him. “Come sit down.”

I climb onto the stool.

“How much do you know about your father?”

His question knocks me back; it was not at all what I was expecting. “Hardly anything. My mother didn’t talk about him much, and I’ve never met him.”

At this, his mouth quirks.

I’m feeling brave, and so I ask, “What do
you
know about my father?”

His smile falters and his Adam’s apple bobs, like I’ve somehow made him nervous.
“That’s not … I can’t.”

“You know something.” I look him straight in the eye, refusing to back down.

“Eve.”

“Please. I need to know.”

He presses
the intercom button. “She’s all yours.”

“What about my tests today
? Won’t O’Donovan be expecting a report?” I don’t give two shits about the tests. I just want to stay with him longer, and see if I can get him to tell me what he knows about my father.

He stands and straightens the papers on his desk. “You passed all your tests today
,” he says firmly. “Nothing out of the ordinary. Now go.”

The door clicks open, and I whip around, reli
eved to see Will instead of Kane. My tongue goes to the swollen part of my bottom lip and lingers there.

Will does not look happy to see me. He waits by the door
, and after a second, I hurry over to him. He’s not someone you want to keep waiting.

We walk down the hall in silence fo
r a few minutes. Once again, he walks ahead, leading the way, knowing I’ll follow like a well-trained dog. “Where’s Kane?”

“You’ll be with me today.”
I’m not sure how, but I can tell he’s smiling. “That okay?” He says it like I have choices here.

“Whatever.” I do my best to sound indifferent.

He leads me back to the gymnasium, but instead of scanning his finger on the sensor to go inside, he hesitates by the door. Then he turns to face me. “Actually, let’s go outside. We’ll start with a run today.”

He goes past the door and
steps up an inclined hallway that leads to an exterior door. He places his finger over the sensor and pushes it open. The sunlight is disorienting – I haven’t seen it directly in so long it stings my eyes and makes them water, but I stare up into it and let the warmth wash over me.

“Take one lap,” Will nods his chin toward the worn path around the edge of the fence.  The other side of the fence looks so far away; I can barely make it out.

Without waiting for another prompt, I start off for the path that’s been worn down
by the many feet that have treaded along it before me. The thin canvas shoes I’m wearing aren’t designed for running, but I don’t care. It feels good to be outside, and to be doing something as common as going for a jog.

Will surprises me by falling into step beside me. His glances down and sets his watch. I feel a sudden twinge, remembering
Kane doing the same thing yesterday right before he tossed me into the pool, but let it go.

I fall into a steady rhythm, setting my own pace. I know I’ll never keep up with Will, so I don’t even try. I have no one to impress here. My stride is slow
and even, but without breakfast, and weakened by the medication, I’m not sure how long I can keep it up.

The path around the perimeter of the yard is big –
at least a mile around. Within minutes, I’m out of breath. I work to convince myself it’s more mental than anything else, and I tell my legs to keep going, my arms to keep pumping, my breathing to stay even. I have this strange sense of disappointing Will if I stop to walk. He jogs beside me, looking straight ahead as if this is the most leisurely of strolls he’s ever been on. We’re jogging so slow, I can tell he’s almost bored – this is no challenge for his long legs – I’m sure they itch to run faster, push farther, but he stays quiets and lets me set our pace.