Defect (20 page)

It’s like all the air
has been sucked from my lungs. The walls of the hallway seem to get closer, squeezing me in. I don’t even dare to breathe. I grow light-headed from holding my breath.

“Well, the capital’s losing their patience, so your clock is ticking.”

“Point taken, sir.”

“Well, see to it then,” La
Rusa says, his voice cold.

I cower into the wall, hoping to become invisible,
but miraculously they continue on their path instead of turning down the hallway I’m in. After they pass, I hurry to Will’s room.

When I reach his door, I’m out of breath and shaking. I tap on his door.

After a second, it opens. He’s standing there in loose shorts and no shirt. When he sees it’s me, he pulls me into the room and shuts the door.

“It’s not safe for you to be in the hallways. What were you thinking?” he says, still holding onto my upper arms.

I can’t answer. My mind replays the conversation I just overheard about my own death being planned.

“Eve? You’re shaking.” He strips his bed of its top blanket and wraps it around my shoulders. “What happened?”

I’m still too stunned to answer. I’d always imagined that if I worked hard and survived these tough conditions, one day I’d get out of here. That was all that kept me going. Now … the alternative is unthinkable … there would be no getting out of here. Not for me. I think of my mother and almost collapse.

Will doesn’t press me again. He just pulls me to his chest, and I rest
my head under his chin. He caresses my hair back from my face and rubs my back. He does his best to soothe away the tension. After a few minutes, I’m calmed enough to tell him what I heard.

We sit on the edge of his bed, and I repeat what I heard O’Donovan and La
Rusa saying. Will tenses – clenching his fists – but doesn’t interrupt me as I speak. When I’m done, he calmly stands, walks across the room and punches the locker. The loud bang of metal bending startles me. He turns and stands in front of me, looking broken, like I’ve never seen him. It scares me worse than anything else. If he can’t be strong, there’s no way I can.

“Will?”
my voice cracks.

He sinks down onto his knees in front of me on the floor. I lean forward on the bed. We’re nearly the same height now.
In this moment, I just need to feel like I’m not alone. I fold my hands behind his neck, and pull him in closer. Suddenly it strikes me that Will may have already known about their plans for me. “Did you know?”

He shakes his
head, looking solemn. “I’ve suspected they would try something, but no. Besides, I won’t let it get that far.”

I
meet his eyes again. I believe him. I trust him. I lean in and touch my lips to his. I kiss him through my fears, through my pain. I try to forget everything I just learned, but when I taste the salty tears rolling down my cheeks, I know that won’t be possible.

We stop kissing and he
cradles my jaw with both hands. Using his thumbs, he brushes away the tears on my cheeks. Then he moves to the side of the bed and sits down beside me.

“How much time do
we have?” he asks, softly.

I shake my head.
It doesn’t escape my notice that he says
we
. “I don’t know. They just said it would be soon. That the clock was ticking.”

He runs his hand down my back,
over and over again, like he’s trying so hard to make it all better. “I don’t want you going anywhere alone, do you hear me?”

I nod.

“They won’t want a crowd, so promise me.”

“I promise,” I whisper.
“Will, what are we going to do?” I hope to God he has a plan, because I can’t even think straight right now.

“You need to go back to your room.
”

My heart hitches. I don’t want to be alone right now.

He continues. “And tomorrow you act normal.” He brushes his knuckles across my cheek again. “Understand?”

I nod
. I know he’s right.

“Good.
” He runs a fingertip lightly along the inside in my wrist, touching my chip. My pulse quickens. I hate this thing inside me. “They’re not normally watching outside of the outdoor assignments, but since you’re of interest, so I wouldn’t rule it out. We’ll have to be extra careful.”

I lace my fingers with his, knowing that he’s about to send me back to the dorms.

He softens at my touch. “
I’ll walk you back. But first, let’s go see Rena.”

That was the last thing I expected him to say, but I
instantly feel better that he has a plan. And I know he’s right. I know we can trust her. He pulls on a shirt, and we sneak out of his room, down the hall and stop in front of Rena’s door.

He knocks twice softly, then once, then three times. Rena opens the door, looking startled. We must have woken her up.
She’s wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt that’s too big. Her hair is a wild halo around her head and she has sleep lines across one side of her face, but she doesn’t ask any questions; she just ushers us inside and shuts the door behind us.

I’m shivering again, and
Will rubs my arms. He repeats the story to Rena so I don’t have to. Halfway through, she stumbles back and sits down on her bed. Her eyes stay locked on mine as Will finishes. When he’s done, she nods once. “Okay.”

“Okay?” my voice croaks.

“We need to get you out of here,” she says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world.

I look from her to Will. Now I’m the one that’s confused.
“I don’t understand.”

But neither of them
answers. They seem to have forgotten I’m even in the room. “It’s more difficult now than ever,” Rena says to him. “Two fifteen-year-olds tried to escape over the fence last week to avoid getting their mindscans.” She stands and begins pacing the room. “They were shot and killed while scaling the fence.”

My fists clench at my sides. I know it’s what they’
re training me for, but there’s no way I could shoot someone.

Rena continues, “
There’s a small group of people calling them heroes. So the government’s tightened security at the fences. Rumor has it that several of the trainees here will be assigned to fence patrol soon.”

I wonder who they’ll assign and realize
it’ll probably be my friends, taking away what little support and protection I have here. I need to warn Sam, Alex … Jake. But then I realize it’s pointless. It won’t stop them from being assigned. And it’d be better not to have them around when this staged accident takes place.

“Eve, how much do you know about the Medical Revolution?”
Will asks.

At first, I’m too stunned to answer. What does this have to do with anything? But Will’s still looking at me, waiting for me to respond. I think back to what I learned in school. “Forty years ago, crime and disease had skyrocketed out of control, and a financial crisis collapsed the government. They could no longer carry the burden of caring for or locking away society’s sickest
people, and technology made the mindscan possible.” I recite it from memory from my history book.

He cocks his side. “But how much do you know about what
actually
happened?”

I look at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

“When the Medical Revolution happened, there was an uprising – a group of people who didn’t believe in the new laws. They were stripped of all rights, their homes and their jobs. They escaped to the wilderness to live off the radar. The government was forced to erect fences around every town and city, to protect the Sleepers from the Radicals.”

“But they never taught us that
…”

“No.
Of course not. The government doesn’t even officially acknowledge the wilderness exists.”

“And the fences?”

He nods. “Yes. The fences are what keep us in. Hold us prisoner to what the government needs, in order to keep society under control and functioning peacefully.”

Only now, that peaceful, controlled façade seemed to be cracking –
with people trying to escape, others failing the mindscan.  I sit down on the edge of Rena’s bed, and she brings the quilt up around my shoulders and sits next to me, but my eyes stay locked on Will’s. “What’s on the other side?”

“
You mean the wilderness?” Will asks.

I nod.

“I don’t know for sure.”

The words should scare me, but they don’t. A wanting wells up inside me
– a yearning for freedom – to be away from the scrutiny, the tests, the control of this place; it’s more than I can bear. I have to bite my tongue to stop from asking Will to take me there. I can’t bring myself to say it out loud. Just the thought alone is dangerous. 

“But why
haven’t I heard more about the Radicals?” It’s strange to think I know nothing about the way they live.

Rena speaks this time. “The government
won’t acknowledge they exist – they can’t. But they are there. More of them than people realize.”

“So what do we do now?” I ask, my voice trembling.

“Now you rest,” Will says, helping me to my feet.

He walks me back to my dorm, not leaving until I’ve crawled into my bunk. He gets
the knife from my locker, slides it under my pillow and kisses my temple. “Get some sleep.”

Where no hope is left, there is no fear
.

– Unknown

Will has instructed me to act normally and though I do on the surface, my insides churn with tension.
I’m on edge all the time now, suspicious of every training assignment Kane gives us, wondering if this is the way they try to kill me, wondering which will be my last day here.

They have succeeded in scaring
me into submission. In training I make sure to stay in the middle of the pack, not wanting to call any extra attention to myself, and wanting to be surrounded by others. My food is tasteless and seeing Sam and Jake together, happy, makes my stomach hurt. I can barely sleep at night. Most of all, I long to see Will, even for a few minutes at a time, but he seems busy all the time now. Though I hate to think this way, I suspect he’s starting to distance himself from me, so it will be less painful when I’m gone. I’ve only known him for a short time, yet I trust him completely.

At training the next afternoon,
Kane is in charge of us. I’ve come to dread any time that Kane is in charge. Then Will comes in saying I’m wanted for more testing. Kane is reluctant to release me, but Will says it’s an order from O’Donovan, and Kane lets me go. I follow Will from the room, nervous about being submitted to more testing.

He walks me outside and doesn’t stop. I hurry behind him. “Where are you taking me?”

He turns and faces me. “Do you trust me?”

I nod, looking up into his eyes.

“Then come on.” He takes my hand and pulls me
to the Jeep.

We drive in silence along the dirt road that cuts along the edge of the forest.
“So where are we headed?” I have a feeling his line about O’Donovan excusing me from training was a lie.

“There’s something I need to show you.” He turns and glances at me before looking back to the road. “And we needed to talk somewhere safe.”

I don’t know what to expect from him. Though I haven’t known him long, I feel connected to him in a way I can’t explain. His strength, his courage, and the way he teaches me to protect myself are all things I admire about him. But mostly, it’s just
him
. Little things like how he lets his guard down only around me, the way he smiled in surprise when I kissed him, and how he didn’t even flinch when I asked for his help to escape this place; instead he was already plotting for ways to help me. I know I shouldn’t be falling for him, that I shouldn’t be focusing on anything other than getting out of here, but with Will around, that’s impossible. I wouldn’t know how to do this without his help.

I reach over and take his hand. He gives mine a squeeze. Then he pulls the Jeep off the road and parks under a tree.
He sits facing forward, lost in thought for a second, looking sad. This look scares me. “Will? What is it?”

“I’ve heard O’Donovan and La
Rusa talking. You probably only have a few days left before they try something.” He turns and meets my eyes. “Rena and I have been trying to come up with a plan, but I’m afraid you might not like the best we’ve come up with.” He brings his hands to my face and cups my jaw, pulling me in toward him. He kisses my lips, softly, gently. When I’m calmed, I pull back.

“What do I need to do?”

“We’re going to take a walk,” he says. “Follow me.”

We
walk in silence for several minutes before it comes into view. The fence, huge and solid, looms before us. So many questions run through my mind, I don’t even know where to begin. My feet keep walking, and I stay quiet. We walk parallel to the fence, not daring to get too close. We stay just at the edge of the tree cover. Will stops and looks at something in the distance. “You see that boulder that looks out of place up there?”