Defect (19 page)

At this, she takes a step back, like clearly I’ve taken one too many blows to the head.
“What are you talking about? Why are you meeting him?”

I swallow, searching for
the words to explain. “He’s different … he’s … he can give me information about why I’m here.”

“But he
shouldn’t ask you to meet him after everyone is asleep. That’s strange, don’t you think?” I don’t explain that it’s for my own protection that he wants me to wait.  Her eyes harden, searching mine. “Just be careful. Please.”

“I will
.” I give her another hug. It’s obvious she understands Will in a completely different way than I do.

I go back to my bed and wait until everyone is asleep.
I lay still, looking up at the ceiling trying to remember my mom’s face. I can’t recall all the small details, not the way I should be able to. I roll over, frustrated.

When there are no sounds coming from the
bunker, I creep down my ladder and cross the dorm into the bunker. It’s dark and completely silent. I sit in one of the chairs, waiting for Will.

After a little while, I grow restless.
He said to meet him here, right?
I consider trying to find his room, but don’t want to get caught in the hallways after hours. I pace the room for a little while, then sit down on the sofa. I lean my head back against the arm and close my eyes. I’m more tired than I realized.

I awake with a start, sensing someone else is in the room with me. I sit up.

“I’m sorry.” Will holds his hands up. “I got held up.”

“Oh, it’s fine.”
I get up.

He lowers his hand
s, but not before I notice that his knuckles are swollen and red.

He steps closer, so he’s standing right in front of me.
“I didn’t mean to make you wait. There was just something I needed to take care of.” He reaches a hand toward me and lets his fingers run down my arm, finding my hand in the darkness. “Come with me. We can talk in my room,” he whispers. He keeps my hand in his, and with our palms pressed together, my breath feels caught in my chest.

My heart p
ounds the entire way to his room. My entire body tingles, like I’m on edge, waiting for something to happen, only I have no idea what.

He
lets the sensor scan his fingerprint, and the door to his room clicks open. He lets me in first and comes in behind me as the heavy door falls closed.

His room is even smaller than I remember, and at night in the
silent compound, it seems even more private. For some reason, I’m reminded of Lexi and feel a pang of jealousy. Now that she’s gone, is Will suddenly interested in me?

“So
…” I draw out the word. He gives me a strange smile. “Listen, I know that you and Lexi were close … and now that she’s gone …”

He places a finger over my lips, stopping me
, a little smile quirked on his lips. “No. That’s not ...” He shakes his head and then lowers his finger from my lips. “Lexi wanted there to be something … but there never was. Not for me anyway.”

“Will, I saw you.” My voice doesn’t waver.

His eyes narrow, trying to figure out exactly what I mean, what I saw.

“You and Lexi were in the hallway – it wasn’t exactly discreet.” He’s still studying me to figure out what I’m referring to. “She was down on her knees
…”

“Oh, God.”
He runs his hands over his face. “No, Eve.” He takes a step closer to me. I take a step back. “That wasn’t what it looked like.”

I smile
crookedly. “Will …” If he thinks he can explain this away as something completely innocent, he must think I’m a fool.

“I’m serious
… If you’d stayed a second longer, you’d have seen me pull her back up to her feet.”

I scan his eyes. He seems to be telling the truth. And I do remember that once I got back to the dorms, Lexi was only a minute behind me. I just figured it was
just over fast. “Then why was she down there to begin with?”

He shakes his head. “That was Lexi trying to
… get my attention.”

I remember the way his head was leaned back against the wall, his eyes closed.
The soft way he whispered her name. It still makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. “Well from what I saw, she succeeded.”

“No, she didn’t.”
His voice is firm.

“Will, you don’t have to lie about it. I don’t care.”
Which isn’t true. Though I don’t want to, I care way more than I should.

He takes my arms, his fingers
curling around my elbows. “Listen to me. It was a moment of weakness on my part, but I’m telling you, I stopped it even before she undid my belt.”

His eyes implore mine, soft and smoky gray, framed in dark lashes and it’s impossible to think the worst of him right now. I nod. I don’t know if I should, but I believe him. Everything I’d seen of Will so far, his
moment of weakness
aside, told me he was good and someone I could trust.

We stand facing each other. “You said you’d explain all this.” I motion between us. Though instantly I’m sure he didn’t mean
us
– he meant
this
, the training, the compound.

“I’m not good at this,” he says, taking a step back from me. He brushes his hand a
cross his hair.

“Rena told me that the
capital has gotten unstable, and there’s talk of my test results.”

His head picks up
, like I’ve interrupted a private thought. “That’s true, though they don’t want any of us here to know. I hear O’Donovan and La Rusa talking.” He hesitates and won’t look at me. “A lot of it’s about you. You’re stronger than they ever expected.”

Something in me rebels.
I don’t want to talk about my demise right now. I don’t want to think right now. I want to feel. Driven by my new found courage, I take a step closer to him. “And what about you? What did you expect that first time you saw me at my mindscan?” I remember back to that scared girl who refused to be made into a prisoner.

He takes a step toward me, closing the distance between us. “I didn’t have any expectations
, I guess. I knew you’d be unexpected.”

At this, I have no words. Will takes another step toward me. There is nothing separating us now.
My heart thumps so loud, I’m sure he can hear it. He’s looking straight into my eyes with that same wonder and curiosity I’ve felt so many times over the past few weeks. It’s too much. I look down.

He places
a finger under my chin and lifts it to meet his eyes again. His eyes are intense and searching as he looks at me. His fingers are soft against my jaw, and he lets his hand slide to the back of my neck, under my hair.

For a second, he just looks at me. Then h
e leans slowly toward me. I don’t move. I don’t even breathe. His lips hover just millimeters from mine. I can feel his breath tickle my lips and his hand slides further into my hair. My eyes fall closed. Something unknown and foreign wells up inside me, and I lift up on my toes and close the distance between us. I press my lips to his and feel him smile in surprise. His smile doesn’t last long, though. His kiss takes over, moving against my mouth, softly at first, then with a growing urgency.

Will
floods my senses. Just his physical presence overwhelms me. The stubble on his jaw, the feel of his strong hands against me, it’s all completely new and electrifying. Just when I’ve gotten used to the sensation of his lips against mine, I feel his tongue, soft and damp, coaxing my mouth to open against his. I obey. And now that we’re doing this, I wonder why we haven’t been doing this the entire time. I wonder why people aren’t doing this all the time.

Withou
t breaking the kiss, he walks me backward until the backs of my legs hit the bed. I sit down, and he sits beside me. He pulls back and looks at me, slowly grazing his fingers along my temple, down my throat, along my collar bone, pushing my hair behind my shoulder, almost like he doesn’t want to forget all the small details of this moment. Then he kisses me again, and I forget about everything else.

The next day, we’re gathered in the gym waiting for training to start when Will comes in, looking smug. There’s a smile playing at the edge of his lips, but he does his best to maintain composure.

I remember his kisses last night, soft, yet demanding
, and I have to look down. Kane comes in next, sporting a black eye and swollen lip. I think of how Will’s knuckles were red, like he’d been in a fight last night.

We’re continuing the hand
-to-hand combat lesson today, only instead of actually going hand-to-hand, we’re using punching bags. I am grateful since my eye is lined with a dark circle, and my ribs are still sore from my last fight. It’s clear not everyone is happy with Will’s choice to use punching bags.

Drew is complaining loudly and refusing to take his spot next to a bag. “We’re training to become
soldiers
,” he emphasizes. “If certain people here aren’t strong enough to handle that –they shouldn’t be here.” He’s looking straight at me when he says this.

Will crosses the gym in three long strides and stops just inches from Drew’s face. Will tower
s over him. He balls up Drew’s collar in his fists and hauls him backwards, stopping only when Drew’s back thuds against a punching bag. “Strength isn’t just about force – it’s using your head, too.” He stares Drew down for several long moments. It’s completely quiet in the gym. I look to Kane, who seems to have shrunk back against the wall. Then I see the faces around me. This is the Will that scares them. But not me. I understand this side of him. He’s right. Strength isn’t just about force, which is the only thing that can explain how I’ve managed to survive here. My strength comes from doing what I have to do to survive. Like with the wolf. But someone like Drew wouldn’t understand that; he’ll kick you when you’re down just to show off his power.

When Will releases him, Drew stumbles back several steps,
nearly losing his balance. Then he straightens up next to his punching bag and fixes his shirt. 

I have to press my lips together to keep from smiling.
I go to the end of the punching bags, next to Sam and her now constant side-kick Jake.

Once we get started,
my punches do little to sway the bag. I try a kick. Nothing. Will weaves in out and between the soldiers, and I don’t want to disappoint him. I try another punch. The bag doesn’t even move.

Will stops behind me
, and I can feel him studying my form. He places his hands on my hips, and moves me so I’m off center from the bag. “A good punch doesn’t start with your fist. You have to use your whole body: your legs, your hips, your shoulders, your arms and then your fist.”  He closes his hand around my fist.  “Step forward a bit with your left leg.” When I do, he pushes my fist forward slowly toward the bag. “When you throw your punch, your hips will turn.” He swivels my hips forward with one hand. “The power of the punch comes from using your entire body.” He presses my fist to the bag.  “Make sure you zero-in on the spot you are trying to hit.” He releases me and takes a step back.

I can see that Sam has stopped to watch this interaction. My cheeks flame red
. I straighten my shoulders and catch my breath for a few seconds. Then I repeat the moves Will showed me. This time when I strike the bag, it makes a satisfying thud and inches back from my blow. Will continues weaving his way through the soldiers.

But
Sam is still watching me. “Excuse me … but what the hell was that?” She looks back and forth between Will and me. “He’s
different
, huh?” She repeats my words from last night. “With you, maybe.”

I dip my head and smile.

***

That night after dinner, though Will and I didn’t make plans to meet, I desperately want to see him again. I wait in the
bunker until everyone’s gone to bed, hoping he’ll come for me. After about fifteen minutes, I decide to go to his room instead. I slip from the bunker and look out into the hallway. It’s clear. I sneak toward the administration wing, hugging the wall as I go, making sure to keep my footsteps silent.

As I approach an intersecting hallway, I hear voices. I stop in the shadows and listen. It’s O’Donovan and the gravelly
voiced man. La Rusa.

“Why haven’t you taken care of the problem
yet?” La Rusa asks.

“We were hoping to learn more about the subject, the inconclusive result and what it meant,” O’Donovan answers.

“And what have you learned? That’s she’s making a laughing stock of your entire program?”

“I’ll admit we haven’t learned as much as we wanted, but trust me when I say she won’t be around much longer.”

“Good. We can’t risk another humiliation. Not now.”

“I know,” O’Donovan says. “I can assure that plans are being laid even as we speak. We’ll make sure it looks like an accident. But you
must understand these things take time to get right. And we will get it right this time.”