Dark Diary (20 page)

I took it from her as cautiously as she gave it to me and unfolded the note.

It read:

“Kathera:

I wake each morning knowing you are never far, but each moment I breathe without you in my arms makes my heart ache. I know that you want more from life than I have been able to give you in this friendship, and I don’t know how much better it will become—but I know that if we were to spend that life together, it would make me a better man. And as that man, I would sacrifice everything to make your hopes and dreams as real as possible.”

“It was next to this.” She uncurled her fingers to reveal a small, black jewelry box.

I recognized where this was going and tipped my head in understanding. There wasn’t a lot I could say.

“Why is this such a painful thing?” I asked. “You can’t tell me you haven’t taken pleasure in your share of nights with him.”

Even fresh from a shower, she could not mask the stench
of their passion. She had tasted him willingly. It was on her breath. In her skin.

“I
thought
I was falling in love with him,” she started, staggering back toward the steps. “And then… this. Now I can’t stop having second thoughts. I can’t stop thinking I’ve made a mistake.”

“This happens often, Kathera.” I handed the note back to her and leaned down closer to where she sat. It was improper for me to stand over her while she sat on the porch stairs. “It doesn’t mean you aren’t in love with him. You’re simply frightened of the unknown.”

“It’s not fear,” she continued. “I thought it was going to work, but now… I don’t see him being the man I’m meant to marry.” Her fingers folded together in her lap and her head fell. “Yes, I’ve been happier since I began staying with him, but I’ve been having more dreams than ever.”

“Good ones?” I moved closer to her and then pulled back as I caught myself.

“Some good. Some bad.”

“The bad ones?”

“Suicide, again,” her voice broke. “But when I wake, the thoughts just linger in the back of my mind, haunting me
throughout the day. I’ve even found myself dwelling on
them. Wondering if they could become reality.”

Suicidal visions? Still? Why?

She shifted her weight on the step and looked back at me for a response.

“And the good ones?” I asked, changing the subject. “What
about those?”

“I’m with you.” She smiled a thoughtful, serene grin I hadn’t seen cross her lips before. She looked off into the distance and sighed. “We’re sitting together in a meadow of flowers. Spring leaves rustle, the breeze whips through our
hair, and things are different than they are now.” She chuckled.
“There’s even a horse grazing nearby. I grew up in the city, Matthaya, I’ve never even seen a horse up close before. Can you believe that? And it’s so real. I can almost reach out and pet his bristly snout.” Her eyes met mine and she shook her head. “It’s such a beautiful place, too. I never want to leave. The sun is shining, the air is peaceful, and…”

“And?”

“You’re holding me in your arms and…”

I was charmed by how she described a fading memory of my past with uncanny detail.

“And?” I prompted a second time.

“And you’re happy.” Her eyes scanned my face for a reaction and then fixated affectionately on my gaze. “Matthaya…
you’re
genuinely
happy in those dreams.”

I
had
been genuinely happy when I had been with Kathryn.
Frightened of the future, but truly content despite the risks involved in spending time with her.

My stare broke away from Kathera’s and met the door behind her.

“I had a long, hard conversation with myself this afternoon,” she continued, “and I realized… that no matter what happens, I will never love Derek with the honesty and depth that he loves me. I just can’t, because I’m still in love with
you
.” She stood and I did the same. “Whether or not you do or even can feel the same, I am in love with
you
, Matthaya, and I can’t even explain why.”

“And what if I had never come into your life?”

“Then I would love no one and Derek would never have made it into my heart the way he has. Still…” She twiddled her fingers nervously.

My ears twitched.

“I can’t hurt him,” she added, pressing the folded note close to her chest and closing her eyes.

“You already have.” Derek stepped out of the back door and glared threateningly toward the both of us.

Kathera was startled from behind and nearly toppled off the staircase in surprise. She grabbed the banister to steady herself.

I had known for several minutes that he was coming, but there was no point delaying the inevitable. Derek had heard most of her last few sentences and was fuming. There was nothing I could do to change her state of mind and there was no use hiding what needed to eventually be said to him.

“What the hell is he doing here?” Derek’s nostrils flared and his lips wrinkled angrily as he came closer. “No, wait.” He turned to Kathera and stared at her judgmentally. “What the hell are you doing here
with
him?”

“Derek, I-I can explain.” Kathera took a step down from the porch as he approached her.

“I bet you can.”

An aura of dark energy radiated from him and he formed t
rembling fists with both hands.

“After all the screw-ups in my life, I was sure I wasn’t
making a mistake with you, Kathera. Apparently, I was wrong about that
, too. Everything I’ve done for you, and this is how you repay me? You’re still seeing
him
?” He turned toward m
e. “And you, you told me yourself that she was never yours
.
You
walked away from her.
You
broke her heart and left
me
to put the pieces back together.”

The heavy pounding of his vengeful heart affected my equilibrium. My ears amplified the sound a thousand fold.

“Derek, please.” Kathera came between us. “Please, let me—”

“Stay out of this!” He grabbed her by the arm and jerked her back behind him.

She grimaced and withdrew. “Derek! What’s wrong with you? Why won’t you listen to me?”

He veered back at her. “Because one bitch in my life was enough.”

She gasped sharply.

“I sacrificed everything for you, Kathera! And you’re still in love with this guy?” Derek turned to face me. “Do you have any idea what I’ve had to deal with? Where the hell were you when she was crying in the middle of the night?
Where were you when she was scared and afraid and needed someone?”
He began breathing harder, fighting back the bitterness and pain shaping his face. “But here you are. I bandaged her up and now you’re here to take her back as if you never damaged her at all.”

He paced in front of me, boiling over with anger. He shouldn’t have judged her so quickly.

“Say something!” His face was barely an inch from mine and the heated breath grazed my cheek. “What have you two been doing behind my back?”

“Nothing.” I crossed my arms.

He switched his focus back to Kathera. “That’s the real reason you held back from
me
, wasn’t it?” He stepped closer to her. “Because of him?”

“No.” Kathera backed away.

“How could you do this to me? I would have risked my life for you, Kathera.” He pointed at me. “Would he?”

“Derek, stop!” I raised my voice.

He froze in his tracks, each stressed huff of breath audible. His jaw tightened and he squeezed his fists. “Don’t tell me what to do,” he muttered.

I took a single step closer. “Derek? Please.” My fingers stretched toward his quaking shoulder and his heart thumped
against his ribs.

He twitched, spun around, and hurled a fist at my face. It made contact and sent me reeling.

In a split-second, I swerved toward him again, a thunderous growl seething from my gritted teeth. My eyes sparked with
luminescence and the shapes and sounds around me came into vivid focus.

“Matthaya!?” Kathera shrieked at the sight of my full-blown rage.

“Stay back!” I hissed, baring my fangs at her.

“Wh-what the hell are you?” Derek stammered, stumbling backward. “Kathera, what is he?” He glanced at her and she whimpered.

Jagged lines of red and yellow light fringed the edges of their silhouettes, highlighting their actions so I could predict their next moves. The heightened senses also distorted my reasoning, blurring the line between friend and foe. I had to remain vigilant to keep it under control.

“I don’t want to fight you, Derek,” I snarled, trying to shake off the itch to lunge at him.

The clinking of metal drew my attention.

“
No!” Her essence rushed through my veins with the force
of a tidal wave.

She
was there. Why hadn’t I sensed her sooner?

“Matthaya?” Kathera had quickly dodged past Derek to
get close to me. “Are you okay? What’s happening?” Her fingers
brushed against the back of my hand as I searched the air.

Damn.
It was
her
.

“Couldn’t keep this to yourself now, could you?” The thickly accented voice was undeniably Ve’tani’s.

The jingling of her bangles sounded several paces behind Derek as she leapt down from the roof of his house. He turned to confront her, hearing the sound of her bodyweight landing
on the ground nearby.

“You’re causing quite a scene, Matthaya,” she crooned. “Really? Is all this drama necessary?”

“Who is she?” Derek asked, the faint scent of his growing fear teased my nostrils. No doubt Ve’tani smelled it, too.

Kathera latched tightly onto my arm, her eyes glittered
with the same question. I caught a glimpse of Derek creeping a hand down into his side jacket pocket in search of something.
He was a fool to think he stood a chance against
her
.

“It could have been simple, Matthaya. All you had to do
was kill her.” Ve’tani gained ground, coming closer to Derek,
and flashed a wicked, tawny gaze his way. “Now you’re doing exactly what I thought you would. You’re involving
me
in
your little mess and now I am going to have to clean it up.”

“Did you have to involve your mom in this, too?” Derek
flicked open a long, black butterfly knife and planted his feet,
steadying himself. “Don’t screw around with me, you two. I won’t stand for it.”

Ve’tani grinned callously. The amber fire in her eyes brightened excitedly. “Oh, he wants to play,” she said, rubbing her hands together. “Foolish boy, human toys pose no threat to our kind.”

I had to stop her before she said anything more. If she told
him what we were, he was as good as dead.

I offered a comforting glance at Kathera and touched her hand in a fleeting act of reassurance, nudging her to let go of my arm. She did as I had hoped and stepped away from the three of us. She backed herself against the fence and watched.

“Surely they should know the truth…
before
they die.” Ve’tani tilted her head at Derek as if she were a bird sizing up its prey. Then she smiled an exaggerated, toothy grin that showcased her sharp, elongated incisors. She always enjoyed playing cat and mouse. It was disgusting to watch her savor others’ fears, as I had outgrown her twisted ways.

The knife cut the air back and forth as Derek waved his hand from side to side. He was brave, but I sensed the panic overwhelming his body. His temperature had dropped and the color of his face was pale with his uncertainty.

“
We are vampires!” Ve’tani bit the air, snapping her teeth
down with a click. “It’s been a while since I’ve had prey fight back, but, now that we’re here… do humor me.”

In a rustle of leather, Derek lunged toward her with his knife. She dodged, but his timing was good. He managed to split a trail down her velvet cloak at her shoulder.

“Ah!” she yelped like a little girl and parted the slice in her robe to reveal a splash of blood hidden beneath it. “This is my favorite robe. You little bastard!” She took fast steps toward him.

“I told you not to mess with me.” Derek narrowed his eyes.

“Leave him alone!” I yelled. He was no match for her.

“Oh?” She turned mechanically and jerked her head, locking onto a new target. “Would you rather I kill
her
first
then?” Ve’tani’s eyes flashed with golden light and she rushed
the porch staircase, covering the short distance in an instant.

She leapt and took hold of the wooden archway of the porch, scurrying up and over it like a wild animal. Her nails dug into the wood rafters and she slid down a foot or two, shredding a set of claw marks down the sides before thrusting herself off in Kathera’s direction.

I threw myself between them, blocking the attack with a thrust of my arms. Ve’tani hit the ground and rolled back onto her feet. Her neck bent back and a piercing screech had the two mortals covering their ears in pain.

With Kathera now trapped against the fence line, I had to move fast. I had to gain the advantage.

I peeled off my coat and shrugged my shoulders back. There was a powerful snap at the joints as a pair of
gray wings burst free from the back of my shirt. They unfolded from the deep indentions beneath my shoulder blades
and
cracked as they spread out to the sides. Blood flushed through
the membranes, smoothing and stretching the dry, leathery skin, allowing them to return to their full size.

The hook-like claws crowning the top of each wing were
as sharp as knives, and despite their compact structure against my spine, my wings were massive and strong when fully
opened. Their double-jointed nature made them as dexterous as human hands.

“What kind of demon are you?” Derek shouted, drawing the attention of Ve’tani once more.

“We’re
not
demonsss,”
Ve’tani hissed. “But, if that is what you want me to be…” Her voice trailed into silence and her fingers curled and stretched restlessly. She flared her lips and roared.