Authors: Anastasia,P.

Dark Diary (36 page)

SHE STOOD FROM THE BENCH
and heaved a sigh. Her thin, pale fingers held the book protectively, hugging it close to her chest like the treasure it was to her. I walked her to the front door and held it open for her to exit the shop.

As she scuttled past, I felt the irony of the situation, and a quiver shot down my spine. The similarities of their scents made me uneasy and flooded my brain with memories of Derek’s tragic end. His mother, however, held no foul opinions of me, nor did she know how much Derek had loved Kathera… and despised me.

“Matthaya?” Valerie paused a few feet from outside the door and turned. “Who was it?” she asked quietly. “The one you lost?”

It wasn’t a question I had wanted to answer. And it wasn’t a
wound I felt like tearing open again, but her lonely brown eyes yearned for someone to relate to.

For the night, that someone was me.

“My mother.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, lowering her head in sympathy.

Kathera came up beside me and wrapped both of her hands around one of my arms.

“Thank you for everything,” Valerie added, looking back up at us. A grin spread across her lips and she gestured to the book. “Thank you so very,
very
much.”

“Have a good night,” said Kathera.

Derek’s mother returned to her car and drove down the
street until she was nothing more than a tiny pair of red lights
in the darkness, which soon faded away.

I felt pressure on my arm as Kathera lured me back into
the shop. She locked the door behind us, flipped off the lights,
and then pulled the shades down across the windows.

“That was a brave thing you did,” she said, “facing your fears and swallowing your pride to make Derek’s mother happy.”

I hadn’t really done it only for that reason.

“He meant a lot to you, Kathera,” I reminded her. “Just
because
we
didn’t get along doesn’t make me appreciate him any
less for how much he cared about you. His mother deserved to know him for who he was
before
I came along.”

“Yes, you’re right.” She headed into the back room and I noticed her eyes dart briefly to the sheet of paper she had torn from the book. It was still face down, just as she’d left it. I’d had enough honor to know that she had turned it that way for a reason. Even if she had secrets still, I was willing to wait for them to be shared of her own accord.

After all, it wouldn’t be the first thing she’d kept from me. A lot had happened after I’d left her alone with Derek.
Some things she had told me and some she hadn’t. But that’s
the process we all go through in our relationships. It is the disclosure
of our weaknesses, our regrets, and our most coveted secrets that strengthen the trust formed by love.

Kathera switched on the radio and plopped down onto the brown suede couch that was pushed up against the wall. She liked sinking into that couch… and she liked music just as much. More so now that her ears had become especially tuned to its nuances.

We don’t really think about it, but we hear a thousand sounds every day. Some of them stand out more than others. Music was one of the few things I’d never really been able to ignore. My overly sensitive hearing had made it difficult to tolerate at first—the bass, especially, had tingled my ears and irritated my senses, but I eventually learned to phase it out. I knew by now that she only listened when she wanted to clear her head of something else, and her comfort meant more to me than my own.

She bit her lip and stared off into the empty hall, tapping
her fingernails repeatedly against the arm of the couch. I sat down beside her and nuzzled up against her shoulder.

“Are you alright?” I set my hand onto her thigh and walked my
fingers down to her knee, massaging them against
her leg along the way.

“Yes,” she replied, still fixated on nothing.

She was thinking about her mother and missing her more than
ever. Seeing Valerie had unearthed old memories, leaving us unsettled about our pasts.

I had been given up, had fallen in love with Kathryn, had been separated from her, and now I was with her in the form of Kathera. It was a type of closure, but I had never really known who
I
was. I had never really known who to miss in my life, and that emptiness had left me feeling transparent
.

The tattoo ring around the base of my left ring finger was new and exciting for
me. Now I had something and someone to make me visible again.

Ve’tani’s chains had been broken by a love that had traversed centuries
. But it had not been without the deepest sacrifice that I acquired that devotion. Kathera was pure of heart, and even with the hell of being tempted toward suicide conquered, she was still not without her own demons.
Like cancer, they thrive on regret and sadness and will likely surface again in time. They will be a challenge I will face by
her side, for we will always harbor our tragedies… and our darkness.