Chasing Destiny (20 page)

Slowly, I rubbed the sponge over my aching body and just as I dipped my head to wash my legs, my ears began ringing. A second later, I remember falling, then nothing.

Carson

As soon as Holly called and told me Kristin was in an ambulance because she had fallen and knocked herself out, I began running around Hayes’ house toward my truck. I had to get to her.

“Wait,” Hayes yelled behind me. “Carson, wait!”

I didn’t turn around, just kept running. He finally caught up to me as I was placing my hands on the door handle, grabbing my shoulders and spinning me around.

“I’ll drive you,” he said, taking the keys out of my hand. “I don’t know what’s going on, but you are way too upset to drive.”

I nodded and headed to the passenger side. After sliding inside, I said, “Kristin’s in the hospital.”

“Do you know which one?” He placed the truck in reverse and backed out onto the street, then accelerated. “Do you know what happened?”

Rubbing my eyes, I mumbled, “The Healthplex and she passed out in the shower. Holly couldn’t get her to wake up.” I felt sick. Regardless of how I had been acting the last week, I loved Kristin and she meant everything to me. She couldn’t…she had to wake up.

We sped down the road in silence and I prayed she’d be okay. Even if we never worked things out, I wanted her to be okay. I wanted to see her beautiful face and hear her voice.

Hayes whipped into the parking lot and braked. He grabbed my shoulder and stopped me from bailing out. “What?” I asked harshly, needing to be in there like ten minutes ago.

“I just want to remind you how much you love her. She makes you happy. When she wakes up, get your head out of your ass and ask her to forgive you.”

I nodded and popped the door open. The truth was I wanted that—wanted our relationship back—but she was having another man’s baby. I just couldn’t get my head past it.

Rushing into the emergency room, I headed for the desk. “I’m looking for Kristin Wright. She was brought here by an ambulance.”

“Are you a spouse or blood relative?”

Shit.

“He’s her husband.” I glanced over and saw Holly walking toward me. She gave me a look that said to go with it.

“Yeah. She’s my wife.”

“I’ll have a doctor talk to you when they have an update. Please wait over in the waiting area.” She smiled and gestured toward a few empty chairs.

“You can’t tell me anything right now? Is she alive?” My imagination was running wild.

“The doctor will update you as soon as possible.”

I fisted my hair, muttering, “Fuck,” before moving over to the waiting area and falling into a chair.

“I didn’t know if they’d tell you anything if you only said boyfriend or fiancé,” Holly whispered, sitting in the chair beside me.

I placed my head in my hands. “What happened?”

“She’d been off all day. All week, actually. Upset about the baby and losing you. She wasn’t really eating anything. I think I only saw her eat brownies.” She sighed. “Anyway, I ordered some pizza and the smell made her really sick. She puked up everything, which was mainly stomach acid. She decided to shower and about ten minutes later, I heard a huge bang. I rushed inside and she was lying in the tub with blood dripping from her head and she wouldn’t wake up.”

“She was breathing, though?” I asked, turning to look at her.

“Yes. She was breathing.” A tear began rolling down her face. “I shouldn’t have left her alone in there. I knew she wasn’t feeling well, she’d complained of a headache earlier and I knew puking had exhausted her.”

“It’s okay.” I placed my hand on her shoulder and squeezed. I couldn’t give her much more comfort because I didn’t have any to give. I was freaking out.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out.

Hayes: Mac is picking me up. Let me know if you need anything.

I had completely forgotten about him.

What if I lose her completely?

What if those cruel words were the last thing I ever get to say to her?

It felt like I’d been sitting in that chair for hours. I got up and began pacing. I was sure the other people waiting wanted me to stop, but I didn’t care. I needed to do something.

After about thirty minutes, I gave up and sat down again. If they didn’t update me soon, I was going to go crazy.

I heard footsteps and a presence beside me, making me whip my head around. A man in white scrubs was standing beside me, an unreadable expression on his face. “Are you Mrs. Wright’s husband?”

“Ye-yes,” I stammered, standing. My mouth was dry and my heart was hammering out of my chest. I just needed him to tell me Kristin was okay.

“Come with me.” He gestured toward two giant doors leading to Kristin. I fell in step with him, Holly following. “The baby is fine, sir. We did an ultrasound and everything is good.”

The baby. I had forgotten to worry about the baby. I was a dick.

“Good. And Kristin?”

His lips moved into a flat smile. That didn’t seem like a good sign. “She’s still not awake, but her brain scans came back normal.”

“That’s good, right?” My lungs felt as if boulders were being held on top. I literally could not breathe waiting for his answer.

“Yes. That’s a good thing. We ran a few other tests, flu and strep, to determine if those could be the cause for her passing out. We don’t have the results back yet, but feel free to sit with her.” He stopped in front of a door I assumed Kristin was behind.

“Thank you.”

He nodded and walked away.

I stood with my hand on the door, unable to move. I hated that she wasn’t awake, and I hated how I’d left things between us.

“Carson…” Holly whispered.

“I’m okay.” I pushed on the door and the small room came into view, my eyes instantly finding Kristin. She didn’t look bad. A huge bandage was around her head and an IV was attached to her arm, but there was no oxygen machine—thank God.

In the couple seconds it took me to get to her side, I knew—
knew
—I would do anything to win her back. I didn’t want to live my life without her. I couldn’t. I’d just have to get over her mistake of sleeping with her ex. I knew I’d love her baby, that had never been an issue—he or she was part Kristin—I just wasn’t ready to be a stepdad.

But really, my issue came from feeling used. After Sam had popped back into my life, basically begging me to take her back just because she needed help with her kid, I’d had a bad taste in my mouth with regards to taking on someone else’s child.

I grabbed her hand and lifted it to my mouth, kissing it over and over again. “Hey, flower girl, you gotta wake up so I can grovel at your feet and you can curse me the fuck out for being a jerk.” I kissed her hand again, tears welling in my eyes. “
Please.”

A chair scraped the floor and out the corner of my eye, I watched Holly sit down. “She’s going to be okay, Carson.”

I nodded, but I wouldn’t be able to stop worrying until her big brown eyes were open and she was talking.

A knock sounded at the door, followed by a nurse entering the room. “I’m just going to check her blood pressure. Oh, and I wanted to give you these.” She handed me a few black and white pictures.

I took them from her hand and realized they were ultrasound photos. My eyes focused on the white area, but I couldn’t see a baby any way I looked. Tears sprang to my eyes and rolled down my face as I stared.

That’s my baby.

It was in that moment, looking at the blob on the picture, that I knew it didn’t matter that the baby wasn’t biologically mine, it was
my
baby.

Mine.

I would love and take care of this child because it was part Kristin’s…well, as long as she would forgive me.

“Thank you,” I mumbled to the nurse as I tried to dry my eyes.

“You’re welcome.” She smiled and placed her stethoscope around her neck. “Blood pressure is normal. I’ll be back in a little while.”

“Thanks,” Holly and I said in unison.

My eyes found Kristin again. “I was a complete shithead,” I blurted, filling the silence in the room.

“Yeah, you were. Although, I like scuz bucket better.”

A chuckle escaped my lips. “I guess that works, too.”

“Her parents should be here anytime. They don’t know about the baby yet.”

“Okay.” I finally sat down in the chair beside me, but didn’t let go of Kristin’s hand. “Do you think she’ll forgive me?”

“I do. I mean, I think she’ll give you hell at first, but she loves you.”

I deserved every bit of hell Kristin gave me and more. And I’d take it as long as she would take me back and allow me to be her baby’s father.

“She’s right. I do love you, but you are a complete asshat.”

I jerked my head in Kristin’s direction. She was awake, her eyes squinted and eyebrows bunched. She looked fucking beautiful.

“What the hell happened to me?” She closed her eyes and licked her lips.

“You had a mishap in the shower and hit your head,” I replied, squeezing her hand. I really wanted to lean down and place my lips against hers, but refrained. I knew I didn’t deserve to feel her in that way.

Holly stood. “I’m going to go get the nurse.”

Kristin continued to open and close her eyes, and I basically just stared at her. I needed the reminder that she was okay.

“Baby,” she finally mumbled.

“The baby is fine. Our baby is fine.”

Holly and the nurse burst in the room, followed by the doctor. I moved out of the way and they began asking Kristin different questions.

Finally, the doctor announced she had tested positive for strep throat. That along with not eating had contributed to her weak state.

“Now that you are awake, I’m going to get you moved into a room and have you stay a night for observation. You should be able to go home in the morning.” He smiled.

Kristin nodded. “Thank you.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” He and the nurse left the room, leaving Kristin, Holly, and myself.

We were all silent until Holly stepped to the side of the bed, saying, “You scared the shit out of me!”

“I’m sorry.” Kristin smiled weakly.

“You better not do it again.”

“You scared me, too,” I chimed in.

Kristin’s eyes flashed to mine, hurt and anger filling them. “I’m so sorry I scared you. I forgot you are all that matters in the world.”

Pissed. She was going with pissed.

I shrugged. “Yeah, and I can’t believe you forgot that.”

“Why are you here?” Obviously, humor wasn’t going to win her over, but I didn’t really expect it to. “And why the
hell
did you tell the doctor you were my husband?”

“Kristin…” I started, but was interrupted by the door opening and an older man and woman entering the room.

“Kristin!” the woman whisper-shouted, her hand going to her mouth.

Fuck
, her parents were here.

Kristin

I’d been home from the hospital for a couple days and felt good. The doctor gave me antibiotics and anti-nausea medication to help with my aversion to food. It had helped and my appetite had returned in full force.

Carson had returned home with me, only he was not sleeping in my bed. I may have still loved him, but I wasn’t going to fold and forgive him instantly. He’d acted like a complete dick.

“Anything I can get you to eat?” he asked as he walked toward the kitchen from the hallway. “I’m starving.”

I glared at him as he passed the couch where I had been curled up reading a book. “I’ll get something later.”

“Because you aren’t hungry now or because you just don’t want me to make you anything?” He turned to stare at me with his arms crossed over his chest.

Damn. His muscles were flexing and I had to tamp down the urge to lick them. “I’m just not hungry.” I was actually starving, but I didn’t want him doing anything for me.

“Okay.” He shook his head, then sauntered into the kitchen.

I went back to reading my book and tuned everything else out. I really should have been studying, but this book was really good and I had to find out the ending.

“Still reading your dirty book?” Carson asked as he sat down beside me some time later.

“No,” I replied. “I finished it. Now I’m reading something else.”

He nodded. “I picked up a book to read the other day.”

“Good for you,” I muttered, my eyes returning to my Kindle.

“
What to Expect When You’re Expecting
,” he said, and I noticed he was reading the title of the book aloud.

“What the hell? Why would you pick
that
book up?”

He smirked and I suddenly wanted to punch him. “I thought that would be obvious.”

I rolled my eyes and my thoughts drifted back to the hospital when I had to tell my parents about the baby.

Carson and Holly had left the room to grab some food from the cafeteria. Tears began leaking out of my eyes and my lips trembled as I stared at the concerned expressions marring my mom and dad’s faces. “I have to…tell…you something.”

“Okay,” my dad replied, taking my hand in his. “What is it?”

Wiping the tears from my cheeks, I choked out, “I’m pregnant.” I couldn’t look at them, my eyes staring at my feet under the white sheet.

“Pregnant?” my mom whispered.

I finally moved my eyes back to them. My dad was wearing a panicked expression while my mom looked confused. “Yes.” I nodded.

My dad stood and marched toward the door. “I’m going to kill him.”

“Dad,” I cried, realizing he was going after Carson. “It’s not Carson’s baby. It’s…” I hated admitting this part to them, “it’s Adam’s…and he doesn’t want it.”

My dad’s face was pure anger. “Doesn’t want it? I’ll show that little—”

“It’s okay,” I interrupted.

“I thought y’all had broken up?” my mom finally said, her brows pulled in.

I cringed. This was the part I really didn’t want to tell them. I mean who wants to tell their parents they had a one-night stand? “We did.”

“I don’t understand…oh…well.” My mom’s eyes were wide.