Chasing Destiny (17 page)

Fuck! How had this all happened?

My phone began ringing. I started to ignore it, thinking it was probably Adam, but decided to check first. I grabbed it from the cup holder and saw Holly’s name lighting the screen.

Thank goodness!

I cleared my throat and answered. “Hi.”

“Hey. What’s wrong?”

Holly knew me well. She had always been able to sense something was off just by the sound of my voice. “Nothing.”

She huffed. “Tell me.”

Tears began welling in my eyes as a sob escaped my throat. “Oh, Holly.”

“Kristin, you’re scaring me.”

I could barely see through my tears, so I pulled into a parking lot. “Holly, everything is just shit.”

“What is, sweetie?” she asked slowly, as if she were scared to spook me.

“I’m…I’m…” I started, but another sob burst out, cutting me off, “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Was Carson mad?”

I bit my lip and looked out at the cars passing by. “I haven’t told him…because it’s Adam’s.”

“Oh, sweetie.”

“I know. I really fucked up this time.”

“Once you clean yourself up, come over here and we’ll talk everything out.”

“Okay,” I cried.

“Wait until you are finished crying, though. I don’t want you wrecking your car.”

I laughed. My crazy best friend was mothering me. “Okay. Thanks, Holly.”

“Of course. It’s part of my best friend duties.”

I laughed. How she could get me to laugh during this situation, I didn’t know, but she had.

God love her for it.

Carson

Kristin had acted off when she got home the night before, but I’d let it go. She’d spent over an hour tending to her plants, which was definitely a tell. Something was wrong, but I was a patient guy…kind of, and she’d tell me whatever was wrong when she was ready—or maybe it was something she needed to work out on her own.

Now, I was stuck at a coffee shop with some lame ass fuckers, working on a group project. They were grating on my nerves, fighting over things that didn’t matter in the least. “…it
will
explode.”

“That’s false and you know it!” the other guy said. I still didn’t really know their names, nor did I care to learn them.

“Carson?” came a voice behind me that made my scalp prickle.

I turned to see Hayes’ old girlfriend, Kennedy. She kind of resembled Mackenzie, which was why he had dated her, but she was dumber than a fucking stump. “Hey.”

“I thought that was you.”

“Yep.” She continued to stare at me, eyes wide, waiting for me to say something else. I had nothing.

“How’s Hayes?” she asked before taking a sip of her drink.

I smiled, loving the fact that I could deliver this news. “He’s great. Married with a kid and another on the way.”

“Is it mine?” she had a shocked expression on her face.

My brows pinched together and I shook my head. “Huh?”

“Oh, wait,” she said, starting to laugh. “I’d know if it were mine. I’m so ditzy sometimes.”

“Ain’t that the truth.” I glanced back to my study group. “Look, I gotta get back to my group. But you might want to think about enrolling in health class next semester.”

“Why?” She looked genuinely puzzled.

“I just think you could benefit from a refresher course.”

She smiled. “Okay.”

I watched her walk away, then turned back to my group. They were still arguing, so I opened the textbook and began looking things up on my laptop. I didn’t have time for this shit.

“Carson, you staying?” one of the girls asked, breaking me from my zone.

“Huh?” I asked, looking up.

“We’re all leaving. You coming?”

“Oh.” I glanced at my phone to check the time. “Yeah. I guess I lost track of time.” I began packing my stuff away before she smiled and left.

Once I made my way to my truck, I texted Hayes, asking if he was home. I had to tell him about running into Kennedy. That conversation was too good not to share.

Hayes: I’m home.

I drove over to his place and went inside without knocking. I knew he wouldn’t care. “Hey, cry baby,” I said as I stepped into the living room.

Hayes was sitting on the recliner, kicked back watching a movie.

“What’s up, dumbass?”

I sat down. “I ran into your old girlfriend. I forgot what a cumquat she is.”

“Oh, you ran into Kennedy?” he asked, turning to look at me.

“Yeah.” I chuckled, thinking back to my conversation. “She wants to know if one of your kids is hers.”

“What?”

I shrugged. “Yeah. Anyway, I’m fucking bored.”

He lifted a glass sitting next to him and downed the contents. “I am, too. Mac left an hour ago with Harley. I guess they are having a play date over at Connie’s.” He stood up suddenly, a huge smile on his face. “I’ve got it. Let’s go play paintball.”

“Just the two of us?”

“Text Ryder and see if he and Mark can meet us.”

It was a long shot, but I texted them anyway. A couple minutes later, I got a text back.

Ryder: Fuck yeah. We’ll meet you in an hour.

I replied, letting him know the address of the paintball place before Hayes and I loaded up into my truck.

“How was the honeymoon?”

“Good. Puerto Rico is really pretty.” Hayes and Mackenzie had taken their honeymoon over spring break.

“Do you like this better than your SUV?” Hayes asked as we pulled out of the driveway.

“Yeah. I like being able to haul my bike easier.”

He nodded and began typing something on his phone. My guess was he was letting Mackenzie know exactly what he was doing. I swear, he couldn’t do anything without her knowing. Although, I was sure it was by choice. Mackenzie didn’t strike me as the controlling type.

“We’re having a boy,” Hayes blurted out all of a sudden.

“Oh, wow. One of each.” I glanced in his direction. “Congrats, man. I know you’re happy.”

A wide smile spread across his face. “I am. So fucking happy. Who would have fuckin’ guessed me to be a family man?”

“No one. No one would have guessed that.”

“You may not have a family, but you seem quite smitten with Kristin.” He was trying to get a rise out of me.

“I am.” I turned the volume up on the radio. “This is getting a little too sappy for me.”

Hayes reached over and turned the volume down. “Oh no. This is my time to make you feel like a pussy. Are you finally over Sam?”

“Fuck yeah,” I said, giving him my best
don’t be stupid
face. “I was over her a long time ago. I just didn’t feel like ever putting myself in that situation again. But I really don’t think Kristin would do something like that.”

“Well, I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks,” I said, grateful we were pulling into the parking lot. I hated talking about shit like that.

***

After paintball—which my team won, of course—I dropped Hayes at his house and headed home. I was fucking tired and ready for a shower.

When I opened the door to the apartment, I was greeted by the sight of Kristin messing with her plants and the smell of brownies.

“Hey, flower girl,” I said, walking to her and placing a light kiss on her lips.

“Hi, Carson.”

I spun around to see Holly standing in the kitchen, flour all over her face.

“Oh, hey.” I turned back to Kristin, who gave me a tight smile. Great, she was still off. I decided right then and there I was going to drag whatever was wrong out of her after her friend left.

“Holly’s making brownies,” Kristin stated as she turned and began pouring water into a flowerpot.

“Awesome,” I replied, putting on my fake grin. “I’m starving, but I need a shower first. How about after I get out, I’ll make dinner to go with them?”

“Sounds good.”

I grabbed Kristin’s chin and forced her to look in my eyes. I could definitely see something was wrong, but for the life of me, I had no clue what it could be. After a few seconds, I dipped my head and planted my lips on hers. I deepened the kiss and pulled her closer to me, letting her feel that I was there for her.

Kristin moaned, but placed her hands on my chest and forced us apart. “I love kissing you, but you seriously reek.”

I chuckled. “I’ll be right back.”

Once I was in our room, I contemplated eavesdropping on their conversation to see if she would tell Holly something, but decided against it. That was disrespectful to her and I had already resolved to figure it out later.

I climbed in the shower and began soaping myself, trying to hurry so I could get back to Kristin. Without sounding clingy, I missed her. What I missed even more though, was her fun personality. It had only been one day, but I still missed it.

I was just about to turn the faucet off when the water turned ice cold. It was almost crippling.

“Fuck,” I muttered to myself. Quickly, I grabbed the handle and switched it off.

Damn, that was cold. And my anatomy could prove it. I had shriveled up
everywhere
.

I grabbed for a towel and dried off before slipping on some shorts and an old t-shirt.

“Which one of you turned the water on full blast and froze the shit out of me?” I asked, striding into the kitchen.

Kristin was sitting at the dining table and Holly was standing next to the counter, sipping a drink.

Holly winced. “Oh, that was me. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to have kids now. Or sex. My dick went into hiding and thinking about this, it’s a lot more devastating than I first thought. You could have ruined Kristin’s life!” I glanced over at Kristen and noticed she was sheet white, staring at me. “You okay, babe? It was just a joke…”

She continued to gaze at me for a minute longer before she stood up. “I’m fine. I’ll be right back.”

I turned to Holly and waited until Kristin was out of earshot. “Do you want to fill me in on what’s wrong with her?”

She sighed, then turned around, placing her hands on the counter. “I don’t know,” she whispered, “but even if I did, that’s for her to tell.”

“Right,” I muttered. “Best friend thing. I get it.” I wasn’t sure what to do. Did I go after her, did I wait for her to come back out and carry on as if she were “fine”?

“You know what? The brownies are done, so I’m going to take off,” Holly said, turning to look at me. She placed her hand on my arm. “Just be gentle with her.”

What the hell?

“Holly,” I began, looking her straight in the eyes. “Kristin means the world to me. Nothing, and I mean
nothing
, would make me hurt her.”

Her lips turned up into a sad smile and she nodded before grabbing her things and leaving. I waited in the kitchen a few more minutes, trying to calm my nerves. I had no idea what was bothering Kristin.

After taking a deep breath, I walked down the hall and into our bedroom. Kristin was laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. I moved closer and just as I placed my knee on the bed, I noticed tears running down her face.

“Kristin,” I whispered as I placed my other knee on the bed and lay next to her.

She just shook her head then looked away. “I…”

“You know you can tell me anything.” I placed my thumb on her cheek and wiped her tears away, then repeated the process with the other cheek. “I love you. Can I hold you?” She nodded and I moved in closer to her, letting my arms slip around her body. My fingers found her long hair and I began running them through it. “I’m here for you. Doesn’t matter what it is, I’m here.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Always.”

She swallowed, then turned to look at me. We held each other’s gazes for quite some time before she cleared her throat. “I have something to tell you.”

“Then tell me.” She was starting to really scare the shit out of me.

Kristin moved out of my arms and stood, placing her arms around her body. I sat up, trying to prepare myself for whatever had her so distraught. She shook her head, tears cascading down her face. “I’m pregnant.”

Everything froze.

My heart.

My lungs.

My brain.

Air.

Time.

They all stopped.

“Pregnant,” I repeated. It wasn’t a question; I knew I’d heard her correctly.

She nodded, then began pacing. I wanted to get up and pace, but my body wouldn’t move. How the hell was I supposed to be a dad? I wasn’t done growing up. I wasn’t even done with college.
Shit.

“That’s not all.”

I just stared. What the hell else could she have to tell me? Was she having twins? Oh. God. Twins. I felt like passing out.

She swallowed hard. “It’s not yours.”

Not yours.

So that had to mean…

“NOT MINE?” I roared, jumping to my feet. Acid began burning my stomach and crawling its way up my throat. “You fucking cheated on me? I can’t believe this!” My hands went to my hair, a desperate attempt to get a handle on my emotions, and I turned away. How could she do this to me? How in the hell could I have trusted her? I fucking knew better!

“I didn’t cheat on you. It’s Adam’s. I’m eleven weeks.”

I stopped, turning to face her. “Well, isn’t this just fucking dandy.”

“Carson,” she cried.

“No.” I could feel tears stinging the back of my eyes, but I blinked them back. I wouldn’t cry like an assface over this.

She began walking toward me and I placed my hand out in front to stop her. “This doesn’t have to change us.”

“And you expect me to fucking raise it?” I laughed mirthlessly. “I don’t fucking think so.”

“We can figure this out, Carson. I LOVE you,” she cried.

I wanted to grab her in my arms and hold her, tell her everything would be okay, but I couldn’t. I was in no way ready to be a stepdaddy.

“We just got fuckin’ started,” I yelled out a little too harshly, but fuck.

“Carson, please.” Her voice was so full of anguish, but I just couldn’t give in. I was hurting too.

My lips fell into a frown as I studied her and tried to get a hold of my thoughts and emotions. Finally, I landed on anger again and lashed out. “Please what? Please raise my fucking baby so I don’t have to do it alone? I don’t think so, sweetheart. I’m out of here.”