Authors: D. Kelly
Once we reach the garage and the door closes behind us, I let her have it. “Angelica, I don’t know how much clearer I can make this to you. I’m. Not. Interested. You know I’m with Cassidy and that’s
never
going to change.”
“Zachary,” she purrs and I hate it; it reminds me of my mother. “When are you going to realize Cassidy is just using you for your money?” With every word she speaks, she inches closer and closer to me and it’s making me seriously uncomfortable.
“Cassidy doesn’t care about money, but you’d never know that because you can’t get over your mean girl attitude enough to even get to know her.”
She lets out a peal of laughter. “You’re adorable, Zack. People like us don’t associate with people like her. She’s a scholarship kid, a nobody. But you and I, Zack, we’re legacies. Everyone knows legacies shouldn’t date let alone consider a future with someone who isn’t a legacy. It just doesn’t work like that.”
What a cunt!
“First of all, let me make this very clear. Cassidy isn’t a scholarship kid and even if she was it wouldn’t matter. The world is changing, Angelica, and you should get with the times. If you want to be stuck in some semi-arranged marriage with a man who most likely won’t love you the way you deserve to be loved, then go for it. That’s
not
what I want for
my
life. Maybe this isn’t all your fault. I see your mom and mine with their heads together at the country club. I’m sure they’re plotting our eventual nuptials.”
She smiles and motions her hand for me to continue, as if I was going to stop there. “You don’t know me, Angelica. You don’t know who I am. I’d give up every single penny of my fortune if it meant keeping Cassidy with me for life.”
The gasp escaping her mouth is priceless. But then the shocked look on her face quickly becomes an eerie smirk as she reaches out and pats me on the hand. “It’s okay, Zack, you can’t see our future yet but I can and I’ll wait. I’m even okay with being the girl on the side for now. I’ll happily give you what I know
must
be lacking from your relationship with Cassidy.”
As she speaks the last sentence, the garage door opens and Cassidy and Rylee hear everything.
Fuck, could this night get any worse?
Cassidy is frozen in her spot, looking back and forth between Angelica and me, but Rylee is beyond furious.
“Who the
fuck
do you think you are?” she screams as they both walk in and the door closes behind them. “Do you think you make yourself look good by offering to ho yourself out to my brother on the side? Do you think he’ll want you or even respect you after that?”
Rylee laughs and looks back at Cassidy for a second before going full force at Angelica again. “You’ve been after my brother for years but I can tell you right now that even if he and Cassidy split, he’d never go for someone like you. Get a fucking life, Angelica, and while you’re at it, find some self-respect along the way because, honestly, you’re pathetic. Too bad you can’t buy a personality with all your money because you desperately need one.”
Angelica doesn’t even look ashamed, she just pops a kiss on my cheek, walks to the door, turns around, and blows me a kiss. “You know where to find me when you decide you want a real woman.”
“Oh my god. I can’t believe the nerve of that bitch! What the hell are you doing out here with her alone, anyway, Zack?” As Rylee screams at me, Cassidy runs out.
“Dammit!” I scream at no one in particular as I stalk to the door so I can follow her and explain. Rylee catches my arm and turns me to her instead.
“Let her go, Zack. Let her calm down. Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” she asks gently.
“No, Ry, I don’t. I just want to go find Cassidy and explain. Fuck, this night could not possibly get
any
worse!”
“Well, about that… we knew to find you out here because everyone inside was taking bets on what exactly you guys were doing. When we walked in, everyone was giving Cassidy sympathetic looks. I’m sure this is all on Angelica but it looks really bad, Zack. They’re saying she was all over you in the kitchen and you brought her out here for sex.”
“You’ve
got
to be kidding me. Jesus, Ry, that’s not what happened. She was all over me and I told her to follow me here so I didn’t act like an ass by going off on her in front of everyone. I
was trying
to be nice. Even if I liked Angelica, which let’s be
perfectly
fucking clear here, I don’t, I would
never
hurt Cassidy like that.” No wonder Cassidy was so freaked out.
“Okay, Zack, let’s go find our girl,” Rylee says as she links her arm through mine.
We look around and can’t find her so we decide to split up. I know she wouldn’t go to the room because she’d have to ask Nick for the key and he’s in a big group with Angelica and all her friends. She’s got to be out back. There are a ton of people out here but I think I know where she is. As I walk across the yard, people keep trying to talk to me but I’m not in the mood. My friend, Gus, hands me a beer as I pass by and I take it gratefully.
Behind the pool house is a set of steps that lead down to Nick’s basketball court. Nick doesn’t like people going down there in the dark so he keeps the lights off so no one will even know it’s there. Cassidy likes going down there in the dark to look at the stars so I’m hoping that’s where I’ll find her.
Before I make it to the bottom of the stairs, I hear her crying and I feel like absolute shit. Even though I was defending her and myself, somehow Cassidy still managed to get hurt.
“Cassidy,” I call out softly, trying not to scare her.
She sniffs and then sighs loudly, “Go away, Zack.”
“Not a chance in hell, babe.”
“I’m serious. I just want to be alone right now,” she says, trying to control her breathing. “Please, Zack, just go.” A sob escapes from deep down inside of her.
She’s crying because of me. No, she’s crying because of that bitch, Angelica. I lower myself behind her on the grassy hill she’s sitting on and pull her close to me. Thankfully, she doesn’t fight me. Instead, she releases a sigh as she sniffles through her tears.
Pushing her hair to the side, I speak softly in her ear, hoping she’ll hear what I want her to instead of what she wants to.
“I love you, Cassidy Pope, and that will never change.” She stiffens under me and tries to cut me off but I’m not having it.
“No, you ran again, Cassidy. It’s my time to talk now.” Her body relaxes slightly against me and I know she’s ready to hear me even if she doesn’t want to.
“You, of all people, should know what a tramp I think Angelica is and that it doesn’t matter what
she
wants. I
don’t
want her. I’ll
never
want her because my heart is already entwined with yours.”
She sighs again and relaxes all the way into me. Cassidy is fearful and insecure but I always hope to find the right words to bring her back to me when she gets like this.
“There’s never been a girl whose hands fit mine like a glove as if they are an extension of my own, until you. There’s never been a pair of eyes that see into my soul and set my world right again, until yours. There’s never been a set of lips that have locked onto mine like the keys of a lost kingdom until yours touched mine. Every part of you completes every single part of me.”
Her tears fall against my hands and I lightly kiss the back of her head.
“Zack,” she says on a sigh, “I don’t know how to do this. I love you more than life but I don’t know how to let you all the way in. I don’t know how to not run away when things get bad. My instincts are always to run now. I’m so sorry my relationship with my parents is affecting us, but I don’t know any other way. I’m trying. God, Zack, I’m trying so hard, but I just don’t feel good enough. Maybe Angelica isn’t the one for you, but she’s not wrong. I’m not meant for your world.”
My poor broken girl. She has no idea how much she’s worth.
“Cassidy, I am who I am right now because of you. Your strength to go through all you have and still be a loving, caring person astounds me. The love you’re willing to give overpowers anything negative in your life. Your dad almost killed you and the first thing you wanted to know was if he was okay. I’m in awe of you, baby, and even more than that, I’m so in love with you.”
She tilts her head back and I turn her slightly so I can capture her mouth with mine. Our kiss is slow and deep but it’s tinged with all of her sadness.
“Cassidy,” I pull away, “I’d give up everything for you without one single look back. There is nothing more important in my world than you. If I could, I would marry you right here, right now.”
She shakes her head no and I let out a soft laugh.
“Oh, yes, Cassidy Pope. You’re going to be my wife one day, but until that day comes, I’m making you the most important promise of our lives.”
Her eyebrow hitches up a little…Good, she’s intrigued.
“I’ve known you since we were six years old and I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. For the last four years, you’ve been my everything and in those four years, I’ve learned everything there is to know about you.”
“Like what?” she whispers softly as I trace the lines of her body with my fingers.
“Lots of things, but I’ll give you the highlights.” She giggles and I instantly know she’s feeling better. “Let’s see… I know you sigh just as you fall asleep. That when I kiss you here,” I say, kissing the top of her neck right below her ear and she moans, “that you’ll moan because you’re getting turned on. I know when you stay over most nights you’d rather be with me but you stay in Ry’s room because you don’t want her to feel bad. I know you love me more than you ever thought possible but you still feel like I love you more. You’re right. I
do
love you more, but that’s my job. This is
us,
baby. This is how
we
work and it’s perfect. I know you love me with all you have to give. We all love in different ways, Cassidy, and as long as it’s given freely, one person’s love is no better than another’s.”
“Could you be any more romantic?” she asks, releasing another sigh and relaxing even further into me.
“Yes,” I reply with another kiss to the top of her head. “I’m about to be right now. I knew when our hearts merged into one that you would run whenever things got hard, and I made myself a promise to never let that bother me. You’d rather flee than hurt someone but what you don’t realize is when you run, it kills those of us around who would lay down our lives for you. I know it’s just instinct and that’s why I always come after you. I know you’re not trying to hurt me, you’re just trying to cope in the only way you know how.”
“Zack,” she whispers breathlessly.
“Nope, let me finish. Someday you need to work this out with a therapist if you can’t work it out yourself, but until the day comes when you no longer feel the need to run, I will
always
chase after you. This is my promise to you. No,
fuck that
, this is
my
promise to
us
. Don’t misunderstand me, Cassidy. This isn’t a free pass to run. You
need
to learn how to accept my love as is and stop being fearful of what or who you think will be affected by us. The
only
people affected by us are us.”
“Thank you,” she replies softly as I hug her tightly to me.
“For what?” I ask, hoping this time my words sink in.
“For understanding me better than I even understand myself. For loving me more than anyone ever has. For knowing that even when I run, it’s never from you but from my own fears and insecurities. But most of all, for coming after me time and time again. I hope one day I’ll stop being so afraid before you get tired and stop coming after me. I love you, Zack, so very much.”
She turns her head and places a lingering kiss on my lips. It’s tender and sweet, just like her.
“I might get tired of chasing you, but I’ll never stop because I’ll never be tired of you. Making friends with you was the smartest thing I ever did.”
She laughs and turns around, straddling me. “I’m pretty sure Rylee was the one to make friends first. You just happened to be there.”
I’ve never told her this story, but maybe now is as good of a time as any.
“Actually,” I say, lying down as I pull her with me, “I sent Rylee to your door to see if you could come out and play.”
“Seriously? Why didn’t you ever say anything before now?” I love the way her nose crinkles up when she’s curious about something. She’s cute when she’s animated.
“I wasn’t ready to tell you before but now that the past… is really that, I guess it’s okay for me to tell you.”
“Tell me what, Zack? Why do I feel like this is going to be a big deal?”
“Relax, Cassidy, it isn’t bad. Maybe back then it was but, baby, it doesn’t matter now.” Releasing a sigh, I brace myself, suddenly realizing this is not a good idea after all.
“The day before Rylee went to your door, I saw you… actually heard you, first.” Anger floods through me even remembering that day. “Your dad was beating you with the belt in the back of the car and you were screaming. I didn’t realize what was going on back then but I knew it wasn’t good and I wanted to help you. Your dad was so big and scary back then, I thought he might have been a real life ogre.”
A gasp falls from her perfect little mouth. “You saw that? That was the first time he ever did that,” she whispers. “It didn’t start until we moved into the house, but you know that.”
“Yeah, I know. I was pretty far away. Like I said, I heard you but I could see him going in for each strike. It was confusing but I knew it wasn’t right, and when you got out of the car, you were so sad. To me, the worst part of it all was your mom just standing there watching. I’ll never understand why she hasn’t protected you all of these years.” Her mom disgusts me almost more than her dad does.
“She’s just afraid of him,” Cassidy says, making another one of her endless excuses for her.
“Fuck that, Cassidy! She should be protecting you at all costs. You are her child, her responsibility. Your needs and wellbeing should
always
come above hers.” I know I’m being an ass but I can’t listen to her defend her mother anymore.