Bruises of the Heart (21 page)

But forgetting about it proved to be impossible. For the next several weeks I was visited by that dream every night, and every night I had to see Noah fall to the ground. My body was healing more rapidly than my doctors had hoped, but now I was afraid my mind was going to break under all of the stress.

Outwardly, I strived to provide an untroubled appearance, and for the most part it worked. When I would unknowingly let my mask slip, Noah or my mom would catch a glimpse of what my tortured mind was doing to me. When one of them would ask if everything was all right, I would just say I wasn't sleeping well. It usually worked.

"All right, Tori, I've had enough. It is obvious there's something that is bothering you and we aren't leaving here until you tell me what it is," Noah said sternly.

Crap.

He had driven us to my parents' clearing. I took a deep breath and tried to arrange my face in a way that would convince Noah I was fine. "Everything is fine, really. You don't have anything to worry about. I just haven't been sleeping well."

"You can drop the act, Tori. If anyone knows when you're lying, it's me. I've seen through this little act of yours for a while, but I didn't want to push you to tell me what was going on. It's obvious whatever it is has been bothering you to the point that you are losing sleep. Just tell me. It can't be that bad."

"You don't know what you're asking."

"Then enlighten me. Unless you're breaking up with me, which I really doubt, there isn't anything I can't handle and help you with. Trust me." He was pleading now, which wasn't fair. He knew I couldn't resist telling him whatever he wanted to know when he pleaded with me.

I stared at him for what felt like an eternity before making the decision to tell him about my dream. I just hoped he didn't try to shrug it all off as some kind of post-traumatic stress thing. "For the last few weeks I've been having this dream…" I began, then told him the whole thing. About how I felt it was a premonition of sorts, and how it was almost killing me to see him die in front of me every night.

He didn't laugh or even crack a smile, much to his credit. After I finished, I looked at him and waited for his reaction. He was taking such a long time I started fidgeting in my seat and turned to look out the open window. The sky was turning an ominous color, and I thought it reflective of my mood at the present moment.

"Tori, I'm not sure what to say."

"I knew you were going to think I was crazy. It isn't post-traumatic stress, either, so you can get that possibility out of your head," I said angrily and got out of his truck, slamming the door.

Another door closed behind me as I made my way to the other side of the clearing. I thought if I could walk off my anger I might be able to think clearer, but some of the memories from the last time I'd been here were intruding as well, fueling the fire.

"Tori, stop. Let's talk about this. Tori!"

Spinning around to face him, I was surprised to see he was so close
…
close enough to touch. "I don't think this is PTSD, at least not all of it. Listen, anyone who went through what you did would be feeling a little stressed. It's completely normal. I was just overwhelmed by how you feel about me."

"And how do I feel about you?" I asked, puzzled by his statement and thankful my anger was slipping away.

"That didn't come out quite how I had hoped it would," he said, laughing nervously. "What I meant to say was me being there and in your dream, possibly dying
…
you must love me more than I thought you did. You are more frightened of something bad happening to me than anything else right now. And I don't think your dream is a premonition. We've been through too much for fate to deal us that crappy of a hand."

"Do you think so? Do you think it's all over? Once they find him, that is."

"I do," he said, moving closer and wrapping his arms around me. "I also think it's time for us to start thinking about next year. I know that you've gotten acceptance letters
—
made any decisions?"

"No, I've been a little distracted lately. I can't imagine why," I said, smiling up at him, happy now that my anger had completely passed. "What about you?"

"I'm going to go to the community college for business. My grandfather is going to let me take over his place after I get my degree, and I'm going to be a farmer. I can't believe I just said that."

"You sound ecstatic. But to be honest, I never saw you anywhere but here. You wouldn't fit anywhere else."

"And did you see yourself anywhere else?" he asked hesitantly.

"At one point, I did. I couldn't wait to get out of this small town and see what the rest of the world had to offer, but after this last year I'm not sure I want to leave. And it isn't because I'm scared to go anywhere else. I just have things in a better perspective now."

"Have you thought about what you're going to do, then?"

"A little bit, but no decisions yet. I actually considered just getting a job and working for a semester so I could get my head on straighter and make a better decision about what to do," I said, leaning my cheek against Noah's chest and inhaling deeply.

"I have a question for you that I don't think you'll have a hard time making a decision about. At least I hope you don't have a hard time," he said, loosening his arms and looking intensely at me.

"What question?" I asked, interested and a little nervous about what Noah had to say. He was looking a little unsure of himself, and I started to wonder what sort of question would make him feel this way when he stuck his hand into his pocket.

"Tori, I know I hurt you and I know I can never make up for everything you have been through, but I would gladly spend the rest of my life trying." He got down on one knee and took my hands in both of his. I think I stopped breathing. The sounds around us melted away and it was like we were the only people alive.

"Victoria Elise Williams, would you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?"

I was stunned silent, but quickly recovered my voice. "Yes, yes! I will marry you!"

Noah jumped to his feet, grabbed me up in a bear hug, and spun me around. His lips found mine and consumed my senses with the passion I could feel rolling in waves from him.

He put me back on the ground, but didn't let me go. Taking my left hand, he slid a ring on my third finger. I stared at it while so many questions crowded my mind, but I couldn't speak any of them.

"I asked your mom for her blessing a few days ago and she asked if I had a ring yet. When I said no, she handed me this one and said it was always meant to come to you next."

Tears filled my eyes as I stared at the engagement ring my mom had been wearing since my father had placed it on her finger. I couldn't even begin to catalog my emotions, so I didn't try. I just let them roll through me, and then I looked back at Noah. How did I deserve someone like him? I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him with all the love and passion I felt for him.

We stayed locked in our embrace while rain started penetrating the canopy of leaves overhead. When the first clap of thunder sounded, we ran hand in hand to Noah's truck and closed the doors and windows just as the heaviest rain came crashing down. It was deafening in the cab of the truck, but Noah and I were still smiling like two fools, completely head over heels in love.

"I think we should wait until this lets up a little," Noah said in my ear. His warm breath sent shivers down my spine and all I could do was nod my head. We sat next to each other and watched as the rain poured down the windshield like an open faucet had been turned on.

Once it let up, Noah slid across the seat to start the truck, taking me with him. As if now that he had me, he was never going to let me go.

We drove back to the cabin more slowly than was probably necessary. I spent the drive back grinning to the point my cheeks hurt, staring at my newly decorated hand. I kept waiting for a crashing realization to come down, making me either regretful or scared, but I only felt peace steal over me.

I looked at Noah to see a matching grin on his face. Sitting there with him, I felt my bruised heart let go of some of the chains that had been wrapped around it, unbeknownst to me. It was freeing to realize these bindings I had unconsciously put there to protect it had fallen away and let me fully accept Noah for who he was, good and bad. My heart was still bruised, but I knew by receiving Noah's love and by freely giving mine to him, it would heal with time.

My mom's face lit up when we walked into the cabin. Her eyes flew to my left hand and then back to our faces. "Congratulations!" she said excitedly.

"Thanks," Noah said, still smiling broadly. "Do you mind if I borrow her for a little while? I'd like to go tell my parents as well."

"That will be fine. Just please remember that you have school tomorrow. And Victoria, remember," she said, beaming.

"I will, Mom," I answered, waving from the door.

Noah's parents were happy for us as well. They weren't even a little surprised by our announcement and only wanted to be sure we were going to wait until after college to have the wedding. We assured them we would wait, then Noah drove me back to the cabin.

"What do you think everyone will say at school?" I asked Noah.

"I don't know, and I really couldn't care less. Are you nervous about that?"

"I'm not really nervous. I just know that there will be a few who will have something to say. Of course, those will be the same ones who have something to say about everything."

"Well, it isn't as if we are going to walk in and make an announcement over the PA system. It's going to take a while for everyone to find out."

"Have you forgotten that my best friend is the biggest gossip in the school? You did, didn't you?" I giggled when I saw the shocked look on Noah's face.

"That had slipped my mind. We won't even have to tell anyone but her. Of course, that could be bad. You don't think that she'll embellish it at all, do you?"

"No, I don't think she will. I'm pretty sure that she's going to be really excited. Her scream alone will alert everyone that something is going on." I grinned at Noah from beside him on the front seat of his truck.

We said goodbye in front of the cabin, then I watched him drive away. I couldn't wait to see him again in the morning.

I smiled at my mom when I walked into the cabin and went to sit next to her on the couch. "Are you sure that you're okay with this?" I asked.

"I am if you are, and I think that you are more than okay. My only concern is the two of you won't wait to go to college first. I just want you to have an education, even if all you do is stay home with babies and take care of a farm."

"He told you he's going to take over his grandfather's place, didn't he?"

"Yes, he did. And I have to admit that it makes me very happy, because your future home connects with this property on the north end. You'll still be close, but far enough away that the two of you will have your own lives. I promise to call before I drop by."

"I really didn't think anything like this would happen for a long time. It's one of those things that always comes along when you're least expecting it."

"That's usually how it goes."

"I'm going to bed. Maybe I'll be able to sleep
—
after a while, that is," I said, still grinning like a fool. My cheeks were going to break soon. Either that, or they were going to fall off completely. If nothing else, they were going to be sore in the morning, but the reason was as good a one as I had ever seen.

It only took a week for everyone in town to find out Noah and I were engaged. It appeared we would be the topic of discussion for the remainder of the school year. We might have even rated above prom and graduation. For the most part, everyone was happy and supportive of our decision.

Three days after Tara had announced to the school at large that we had gotten engaged, there was a bouquet of dead flowers left on the porch of the cabin. I found them when Noah took me home after school.

"It has to be him. Who else would do this?" I asked in a trembling voice. Will was obviously ticked off now that he'd heard Noah and I were engaged.

"I don't know. I can't believe the police haven't caught up with him yet. The last I heard, his parents weren't even sure where he was anymore. This has to stop, though, and I'm afraid when it comes to an end it won't be a good one," Noah said.

We were sitting on the couch. His arm was across my shoulders and he was rubbing my upper arm. "It's like my dreams are coming true. I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you. What are we going to do?" I asked, my voice starting to rise to panic level.

"You aren't going to lose me," he said, taking me by the shoulders and looking into my eyes. "You have me for life, and it's going to be a really long life together before I let you go anywhere. As for what we're going to do, we're going to call Sergeant Jones and tell her what we found."

After speaking with the officer, I called Mom at work and she rushed home to assure herself that we were okay. She was the epitome of outward calm as she sat and listened to Noah tell her what he had done. "I think you did the right thing calling the police. Are they coming out here?"