Broken Wings (Cruel and Beautiful World, Book One 1) (36 page)

"Warm nights," said Xander with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Warm nights? It's been a high of maybe forty degrees out."

"Has it?" He raised his eyebrows. "Well, then, you're certainly lucky I radiate such powerful body heat."

Deryn wanted to argue, but he was right. His body was like her own personal heater.

Finally locating the red bra, she moved to shut the door.

"I've seen you naked, Leon."

"Not with the lights on, you haven't." She slammed it.

Xander frowned. Unfortunately, that statement was very true. Deryn often put her clothes back on before going to sleep and, when she didn't, she always made a point to be the first one up and out of bed in the morning. Xander had caught a hazy glimpse of her through his fluttering eyelids once, but she had quickly moved out of view. He would have to eradicate this small problem immediately.

After Deryn was finished trying everything on, she put all of the new clothes in her dresser and closet, smiling widely as she did so. Once that was done, she slipped into her robe and got ready to take a shower. When she walked back to the living room, Xander seized her hand and pulled her towards the front door.

"One more thing," he said, grabbing a bag from behind the couch and handing it to her. "It wasn't a necessity but I thought you'd like to have it."

Deryn smiled as she put the bag down on the back of the couch and pulled out a long, black coat. It was of great quality and felt incredibly soft in her hands.

"I never wanted to ask, but I always figured the one you have now was Elvira's."

"It was," she said, her smile only growing as she continued to run the material through her fingers.

"So I was right to assume you would want one of your own, then?" asked Xander, rubbing his hand comfortingly along her lower back.

Deryn nodded. "Thank you, Xander." She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "For all of it. I know I don't exactly have a current need for any of these things but -"

Xander silenced her with a kiss. Her stomach fluttered as he continued to rub the small of her back.

When he pulled away, he flashed her a crooked smile and said, "Think nothing of it. Besides, you're going to need all of this stuff eventually. You won't be trapped here forever."

Deryn's heart sank a little. "I've been trapped before, Xander, and
this
-" She put her hand on his chest. "- isn't it."

Standing on tiptoe, Deryn gave him a quick kiss before going back to her room and hanging her new coat in the closet. She grabbed the old one off of its hanger and went to the blazing fireplace, tossing it into the flames. Xander came over and grabbed her hand. They stood in silence for a moment and watched it burn until there was nothing left but ashes.

Deryn stared blankly at the fire, her eyes not focusing until she felt Xander tugging on her hand.

"Leon?"

She looked up to see Xander watching her. When their eyes met, he pulled her body into his and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"You alright?" he asked.

Deryn smiled and nodded. "I'm just glad to be rid of the thing. It's like a weight's been lifted." She rolled her shoulders. "Now I just need that shower to relax."

Deryn walked away but Xander was quick to catch up and turn her around. "Any chance I might join you?"

Her cheeks turned bright-red as she quickly stared anywhere but at him. "Um ... I don't ... I mean, I'm not ..."

"Don't you think it's time you let me see you with the lights on?" he said as he pulled her close and ran his tongue along her ear.

"I ..."

"Don't you want to see me?"

Deryn shuddered. Xander took this as a surefire sign that he was right, so he lifted her up and sat her on the edge of the kitchen counter.

"You can see me first if you want," he said, settling between her legs.

She tried to hide it by biting her lip, but there was no disguising the throaty moan that escaped her.

"All you have to do is undress me," whispered Xander, catching her lips in a fervent kiss.

Deryn continued to moan into his mouth as he grinded against her, her shaky hands slowly making their way into his shirt. She pulled at the edges awkwardly for a moment before finally lifting it and, with a bit of assistance, yanking it over his head. At first her eyes drifted to the black cloth on his arm that he had gotten into the habit of wearing, but that was not where she wanted to focus. So she moved her gaze back to his bare chest, staring at it for a moment - creamy, chiseled and perfect - before running her hands along his skin, pausing slightly when she found a small, white scar.

"Two years ago, during a battle with the Resistance in one of their villages," he said before she could ask. "One of them almost hit me with an arrow, and when I dodged I flew into the edge of a table."

"Are there more?" she asked, looking at him hopefully.

"Oh, yes." Xander took her hand and helped her trace his form. He brought it up his ribcage and stopped somewhere near the top. "Broke a few of these when our beloved president had me tortured before I was back in his good graces. I eventually taught myself not to squirm so much. It really is more beneficial in the long run." And then he brought her hand down to his left hip, letting her fingers pull down his pants a bit. "A member of the Resistance got me here with a rock when they lost their weapon."

"A rock did
that
?" she asked, rubbing the well-sized scar with her index finger.

"It was a sharp rock." Xander then let go of her hand and turned around. "The one just below my right shoulder blade is from when a flying target hit me during shooting training at Eagle. And the one here on my arm," he pointed, "was from when I fell off of a wall I was climbing when I was seven."

When Xander turned back around, he was happy to see that Deryn was smiling.

"I have more," he said, leaning back in and hovering his lips above hers, "but you'll have to find them on your own."

Deryn's head plunged forward and she engulfed his lips with hers, kissing him vigorously while running her hands along his smooth skin. Before long, they were both gasping for air, and she caught his eyes with a lustful look before moving her hands down to his pants.

She had just begun to undo them when the door to the apartment clicked, and then opened. Bronson stepped inside, quickly freezing when he caught sight of Xander practically on top of Deryn on the kitchen counter. They both turned and looked at him, their eyes wide and guilty as they realized they had just been caught red-handed. And, speaking of hands, Deryn was quick to pull hers off of Xander, but then she had no clue where to put them and they just hung awkwardly in the air. Xander pulled back and she was finally able to use them to fidget with her robe.

"Evening, Bronson," said Xander in an even tone. "Something we can help you with?"

Bronson stared at him openmouthed. He slowly lifted a box. "I, uh ... Quigley brought me dessert from the restaurant before he went out and I thought you two might like some."

There was an awkward silence as no one moved from their current positions. Deryn could not even look in Bronson's direction. She was too embarrassed and did not want him to see how red she was.

"I'm sorry," said Bronson once he got sick of listening to the clock tick. "Have I interrupted something?"

Xander said, "Yes," while Deryn said, "No."

"Because it looks like I interrupted something. Like maybe Ruby was making sure that your breasts really are slightly less than a handful."

"Hey, my hands were nowhere near her breasts," said Xander defensively. "They were on the insides of her thighs."

"Okay," said Deryn, jumping off the counter and standing in front of him, since Bronson was leaning forward, obviously preparing to strike. "Bronson, I can see where this is going and I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to stay calm."

"Stay calm?" said Bronson, taking a moment to slam the still-open door and lock it before walking forward. "Are you fucking kidding me? He's a Guardian, Deryn! And
you're
an Outsider! What the hell are you thinking? I thought you said you weren't a masochist!"

"I'm not," she said weakly. "I can't help -"

"You can't help what? Your feelings?"

Deryn blushed.

"This is insane, Deryn!
You're
insane!"

Tears filled her eyes and she quickly looked to the side so he wouldn't see them. There was that word again.
Insane
.

"Hey!" shouted Xander, putting a comforting hand on her waist before stepping in front of her. "Don't you dare! Don't you fucking dare talk to her like that!" With flaming eyes, Xander looked back at Deryn and said, "Leon, go take your shower. I'll take care of this."

"But -"

"It's fine," he said, squeezing her hand. "I won't do anything rash. I'm not you."

Deryn smiled faintly. "Like you're any better." She gave Bronson one last disappointed look before heading to the bathroom.

The moment the door was closed, Xander turned back to Bronson and said, "Outside." He grabbed his shirt off of the floor and put it back on.

"I'm not going -"

"I said, outside!" demanded Xander, walking towards the balcony.

After letting out a loud grunt, Bronson followed him and shut the door. Xander pressed his wristband and put up a soundproof shield. The two of them stood on opposite ends with their arms crossed.

"What the fuck, Ruby?" began Bronson, staring daggers at him as he tried to remain somewhat composed in the small space.

"What the fuck, what, Bronson? None of this is any of your business!"

"Well, I'm making it my business! Someone needs to be the voice of reason for you two! I mean ...
fuck
! What the hell are you thinking?"

Xander smirked. "Isn't it obvious?" Bronson lunged forward but Xander held out his hand. "Stop right there."

Bronson froze. "What you gonna do, Ruby? Use your Element on me? I'm curious, what reasoning would you give the president for doing it?" he asked venomously. "Perhaps you were putting someone in their place."

Xander said nothing.

"Oh, come on, Ruby. We both know you'd love to do it, so why don't you already?" he baited.

Xander glowered at him. "All of these years and you still think so little of me." He sighed, slowly lowering his hand. "No, Bronson, I'm not going to use my Element on you and I never would, even if I did have it on me. Punch you, sure. Or bind you so you don't come at me again; I'm not against that either."

Bronson's face softened.

"You can think whatever you want about me," continued Xander. "I don't care. But don't you dare, don't you fucking dare come up here again if you're going to insult Deryn! She's been through enough in her life! She doesn't need to hear such horrible insults from someone she trusts!"

Bronson cocked his head in curiosity. "What are you talking about? I didn't insult -"

"Yes you did!" shouted Xander. "In there just now! Didn't you see her? Didn't you see her fucking eyes as she tried to stop herself from crying?
You
did that! You fucking did that when you called her insane!"

Bronson glanced upwards as he tried to recall everything he had said inside. "If I said that I didn't mean it literally."

"It doesn't matter! Her mind has been fucked with and she's been working so hard to get it back! And then, in one second, you make her doubt herself! That's all it takes with her! That's all it fucking takes for her to lose it! To not want to try anymore!"

Bronson cocked his head again and stared dazedly at Xander, his mouth agape as he tried to process everything he was hearing. Between the lines, of course.

"What are you staring at?"

Bronson blinked.

"Seriously, what is your problem? Deryn and I are both adults and we know what we're doing!"

He blinked again. "Do you?"

"Of course!" shouted Xander. "We're aware the circumstances are not exactly ideal, but she
knows
we can stop whenever! I've told her! I've told her over and over again that all she has to do is say the word and we'll stop! Because I'm not stupid! I know this is a fucked up situation! It's sick and it's twisted and it's wrong, but I can't stop! I can't stop until I know it's what
she
wants!"

Bronson cocked his head further. "Why?"

"Because!" Because Xander wanted her. Needed her. Desired her. Because no one else had ever felt so perfect while tangled in his arms, against his lips, around his cock. And he would be damned if he gave up those feelings before he had to. But he gave Bronson no further explanation. 'Because' would just have to do.

Straightening his head, Bronson stared at Xander for a long while, stuck in a blank expression before his lips slowly began to curve into a smile. "Holy fuck."

"What?" asked Xander, more than a little disturbed by this man's growing amusement.