Black and Blue: BWWM Romance (5 page)

I
got home
, took a shower, and went straight to sleep. My head was pounding but most of all my heart was hurting. Somehow I kind of fell for the guy, my mind is a little fairy tale-ish to where I think that things are more than they are.

I know I was asking a lot for him to tell me who the officer was, but what if he was like one of them? What if he was a racist asshole and was only fucking me to get some brown sugar that he could brag and talk to his police officer friends about. I felt so stupid and the first thing I saw in the morning was a text from him.

“I’m sorry...I hope you understand why I can’t tell.” I definitely understood. There are some things you just don’t talk about.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were a cop?” I shot back to him.

“Technically I’m not.” I felt like we were playing games. But just as I was about to reply my Dad called.

“Hey Daddy…”

“What is this I hear about you and a white guy?” I felt like my heart had exploded.

“What are you talking about?”

“I ran into Joe down at the loft. He was waiting outside when I left and he said he just saw you with a guy you introduced as your boyfriend.” I wanted to die right then and there.

“Daddy, I’m done with Joe. I just said that so he would leave me alone.” I surprised myself with that lie. It was partly true but I really was ”doing” a white boy.

“So you're not with some white man?” My headache started to slowly come back.

“No father…” That’s what I called him when I got annoyed.

“I was so mad that I went and got a hotel.” I fell back on my bed wishing I could just evaporate into the sheets.

“No Dad...Joe shouldn’t have come and spoken to you but no, I’m not dating a white guy.”

“Well good, if you ever did you know your mother would spin in her grave.” Why did he have to say all this shit?

“Dad, I gotta go.”

“Alright, I’m at the Blakemoor downtown. Deidra is here too. We should all go to dinner.” I would have rather let him believe I was with a white man than eat dinner with Deidra.

“Ok, sounds good.”

“Oh and you know they announced the cop today right?”

“No, what is his name.”

“Jason Miller. Some damn dude that’s already been cited before for excessive force.” That didn’t surprise me. “But I’ll let you go. Got a meeting with some church members today. The prosecutor is supposed to announce whether he will press charges later tonight.”

“Wow okay.” Things were moving quicker than I thought.

“Okay. Talk to you later.”

Looking at my phone, Brian had sent a few more texts.

“I really want to see you today. I have to work tonight.”

“I don’t know about that. I need some time to digest things.” I really did need time. I wasn’t sure about any of this.

“I hope you knowing about me being a cop doesn’t change things.” Things...what things? All we had between us was sex and studying but more sex than anything. Yet I did like to be around him. His sarcasm was a relief to my stressed out existence.

Another text came through, this time from Joe. All of these men in my life and I felt like I couldn’t keep up. From my Dad to Brian and now Joe was still teetering around.

I opened the text only to see a picture of his dick.

“I bet a white boy can’t fuck you like I can.” He was proud of himself, sending me a message from his work line. Unfortunately, I didn’t block that number and now I was staring at his fully hard dick with its veins sticking out.

I said nothing, all of this had to be a bad joke. It must have been play a trick on Alicia day.

“When can I see you?” Brian texted back.

“I don’t know. I have to concentrate on school. We do have an exam this week.”

“We can study late tonight.” He sent the message but I was tired of being his late night rendezvous.

“No, why do I have to see you at night. What about a date?” I was making things too easy for him. It was about time that I pushed the envelope for a change.

“Okay, no problem. What about breakfast in the morning before your classes? Wherever you wanna go.”

I liked the way that sounded. Anywhere I wanted to go and not straight to his house or to mine.

“I just want to be around you.” I had to smile. I had no choice.

“It’s been a long time since a guy has just wanted to be around me just because.”

“Well get used to it.” I had no response. This was too much and I felt like I needed to back off from him. With my Dad being here and Joe acting crazy, maybe it wasn’t the best time for me to pursue a new relationship.

“Maybe we should do the date another day.”

“???”

But I didn’t reply, I didn’t want to make any more decisions today about anybody. I needed to study and not be worried about some guy that’s a cop or another guy that couldn’t let me go.

He sent another message but I didn’t bother to check it. All of this shit was a distraction and I was done being taken off course. I needed one day where I could just concentrate on me and today I was going to leave everyone else in the dark.

“
W
omen
… can’t live with them or without them.
” and in my case, I couldn’t even tell them the damn truth.

I called and pleaded my heart to Alicia and somehow I got her to agree to breakfast so at least I didn’t have thoughts about her lingering in my head. Now I was at work, changing into full riot gear, getting ready for an announcement that could mean a full-scale riot.

“I heard they aren’t going to charge him? Were gonna be fucked if that happens.” A group of guys from my unit and a few others from the surrounding areas were all standing outside the courthouse ready and waiting for whatever was about to happen.

We had rehearsed possible scenarios and situations all day but now it was time to get down to it.

In less than ten minutes the prosecutor was going to give his decision and we were going to need to be ready.

“Guess we gotta get ready for this bullshit. All these animals and their damn complaints.” Everyone laughed except me.

“That shit’s not funny, Ron.” Every group had that one ultra racist asshole and usually we just let it go but today I was tired of letting shit go.

“What did you say, McGwire?”

“I said calm all that shit down. If that’s the way you feel, keep it to yourself.” The group was quiet, everyone staring at me.

“Alright men. The announcement is about to be made.” The sergeant came over, breaking up our impromptu meeting.

Ron walked away and everyone turned and walked towards the front of the building where we were supposed to hold our ground and make sure the city buildings weren’t destroyed.

I heard the announcement over the loud speaker but my thoughts were on the crowd, and on Alicia. She stopped texting me back earlier. I wasn’t sure what the hell that meant but I had every intention of going to see her whenever I got off duty.

“We will not be prosecuting Officer Miller.” I had a feeling that would be the case. There were rumors around the department that there would be no charges but there was no way of knowing for sure. Now, we were facing an angry mob of people.

They chanted, yelled and shouted as we stood our ground as the only line of protection between them and the courthouse.

Amidst the noise of bottles crashing, people yelling, and car alarms sounding, I caught sight of something out of the corner of my eye.

A guy zipped across the street, his hands raised and he was chanting. He was no threat. Hell, he even had tears streaming down his face when I saw on of my men lift his baton. I don’t know if it was instinct or what but I grabbed the raised baton without even thinking about it.

“What the hell are you doing McGwire?” He screamed through his shield.

“Why would you hit an unarmed man?” I had seen my fair share of shit since we’d been out here. Everything from lockups, pellet guns, and tear gas canisters thrown into crowds along with a few hundred arrests so maybe I was at an overload.

Snatching the baton from my grasp, he raised it above the man again but I stepped in the way, guarding the man with my body.

“Get the hell out of the way, McGwire!”

“No, leave him alone. Shit, these people are just pissed.” I understood it. I wasn’t black but I understood the frustration, though none of my colleagues seemed as understanding.

He jumped in my face as the other SWAT members started swarming around. Shit moved so fast that I couldn’t separate between trying to shield the protestor and save my own damn life in the process.

“So you're some kind of fucking NAACP member, McGwire?” Before I could respond, shots rang out. I didn’t know where they came from but the crowd definitely reacted to it. People scattered in every different direction causing a human stampede. More shots echoed. As officers drew their weapons and instinctively went into surveillance and protect mode, I looked down, wincing from a sharp pain.

My leg felt like someone stuck me with a hot poker right in the thigh.

“McGwire is hit. Officer down!” I didn’t realize I’d been shot until my knees buckled. With no time to react and no strength to hold myself up, I found the hole in my pants along with the blood that was now coating my fingers.

No sooner had I realized that I was bleeding, when everything faded to black.

I
went
to several different hospitals trying to find Brian. With each stop, I felt sicker and sicker, thinking the worst had happened. Meanwhile, I called the police stations, searching for information but they wouldn’t tell me anything. That’s when I started thinking like a lawyer. When I arrived at a downtown hospital, I saw a group of officers out front, posted up and talking among themselves; I knew I was in the right place.

I ran through the emergency room, not stopping to ask for permission. My shoes squeaked on the polished linoleum floor as I dashed from room to room looking for Brian when a nurse finally stopped me.

“Ma’am you can’t be back here.”

“Hi, I’m looking for Brian McGwire.” I searched for the right words. “He is an officer...officer Brian McGwire.”

“And you are?” the nurse asked, looking me up and down. A black woman looking for a police officer wasn’t the most popular thing right now.

“I’m right here.” I heard his voice! Looking up, I saw Brian walking out of a treatment room, limping awkwardly on a pair of crutches.

My brain finally came out of my feet and resumed its place in my chest.

“Oh my God. I thought you were...”

“Dead...naw, takes more than that to drag this big ox down.” He laughed, pounding his chest like a caveman. His pants were cut and a bandage encircled his leg. He had a few scratches on his face but besides those and the crutches, he looked fine.

I hugged him so tightly that his crutches crashed to the floor. Every pent up emotion came pouring out as I recounted my night to Brian.

“I saw you on television, guarding that man.” I was crying. I didn’t mean to, but thinking about Brian getting hurt and killed in the street frightened me. A few officers gawked back at us. Through my teary eyes I saw their looks of disgust and Brian noticed it too.

“C’mon. Let’s get out of here.” We walked together until we were out of the emergency room and into the lobby where we could talk.

“Aww, you were thinking about me?” He kissed me, right there in front of everybody. I wasn’t a fan of public displays of affection but I kissed him back, planting my lips firmly on his as we stood near the receptionist desk.

“ALICIA!”

My name echoed in my head. Whipping around, I saw my worst nightmare.

My father! He was standing right there in the emergency room area with his mouth nearly on the floor.

“Dad.”

“So this is what you do?” I had no words with him stepping closer looking back and forth from Brian to me.

“Mister Morris Sir, it’s nice to meet you.” Brian extended his hand but my Dad didn’t return the formality.

“Didn’t I ask you a specific question this morning?” I felt like a kid again, my father chastising me in front of dozens of unknown people.

“Yes, you did…”

“And what did you say?”

“Dad...do we have to do this here?”

“Hell yes we do. A boy has died at the hands of one of these...monsters… and now you want to jump in bed with one of them?” I felt so small and insignificant with every word that he said.

“Dad…”

“Dad nothing dammit. I can’t believe you lied to me.” He was really hurt, I could tell and the people behind him looked at me like they had lasers in their eyes.

“I tell you what. At the end of the semester you are cut off. I’m done with you. Get the hell out of that loft and find someone else to pay for your degree.” He turned away from me like I was discarded trash.

“WAIT...Dad. Talk to me...Hold on.” I ran after him outside, trying to catch up, but he wouldn’t stop to even look at me.

“Babe...I’m sorry. I…” Brian was behind me, lurching on his crutches but it wasn’t his fault. I knew my dad would be pissed, his disdain for white people ran deep, in to some things that I didn’t even know about. Momma used to say he hated them, but she never said why.

“I just...I just can’t” I watched him get into a car and drive away, not even bothering to look at me. “What do I do?” I asked Brian with tears in my eyes, and streaming down my face. My hands began shaking uncontrollably. Panic attack land was upon me and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

“Everything I’ve worked for…” Brian handed his crutches to someone and grabbed me, pulling me into his chest and wrapping his arms around me. I wasn’t sure what to do but all I knew was right now, Brian was all I had.