Black and Blue: BWWM Romance (2 page)

“Ummm…” I snatched a piece of paper from my notebook and scribbled down my number and email. “Don’t call it unless you are serious about studying.” I shoved the paper in his hand, feeling flush like I needed air.

Not waiting for him to reply, I grabbed my bag and took the stairs up the lecture hall two at a time. Past the door, I breathed deeply, walking out into the night’s air. Even though we were downtown, there weren’t many people out. The downtown St. Louis landscape was pretty scarce after business hours during the week.

For once I was glad not to be around people and for the darkness, No one could see me sweating and breathing hard if there was darkness.

I crossed the street towards my loft trying to remember what my therapist taught me.

Focus on something to take your mind off whatever is scaring you
. I chose to look towards the parking meters; counting each one I passed on my walk home.

One…two…three…
I breathed deep with each one I saw, my heart slowing with each one I counted. What she told me to do was working. I moved out of the way for a man walking down the sidewalk, except he didn’t walk past, he moved with me.

“Excuse me.” I smiled a little trying to be nice as we played this waltz. I moved to another side but he did it again and before I could part my lips to say a word he had some things of his own to say.

“Give up your cell phone.” Covered in black clothes from head to toe, a white guy stuck something at me through his coat pocket. My mind told me it was a gun and my heart told me I was about to die.

“My cell phone…” I lifted my hands in the air, trying to figure out what to do. I couldn’t think straight but all the stories and people tell you to do as you’re told. But I didn’t even know where my phone was at the moment. Was it in my bag, my jacket, my back pocket?

“Yeah...your cell phone and all your money too bitch. You move and I’ll kill you.”

“Hey...what the fuck are you doing?” I heard the voice roaring from behind me, the ground slightly shaking as I felt wind past by me. By the time I blinked, punches slapped the guy in black across the face.

I backed away, trying to scream but my cries were caught in my throat. It was the guy from class, the big brute and he was throwing punches like a prized fighter, hitting the man in the face so hard that I felt it.

“You gonna rob a woman? Huh?” He punched the guy until he submitted, then spun him on his stomach and pulled his hands behind his back.

“Call 911” he screamed to me and somehow I broke from my trance, grabbing my cell phone and dialing with unsteady hands.

“911 What’s your emergency.”

“Hello...I’ve just been robbed...someone tried to rob me and he saved me.” My words didn’t make sense but I was looking at something out of a dream. My white asshole classmate had his knee in the robber’s back pinning him to the ground. He saved my life. The asshole from class saved my life.

I
couldn’t stop shaking
.

Brian was there with me as we talked to the officers but I was too busy looking at the man in the back of the police car. The guy that did it, he was still there, his head down probably lucky to be alive after Brian got done with him.

“I was just walking home and I saw him coming my way.” I thought about it all, how it didn’t seem like a big deal for a guy wearing a hoodie to be out walking but instead of walking past me he tried to rob me. “I moved over to the right to pass him but he moved to the right and stood in front of me.” I tried recounting it all, remembering every little feature of the asshole that tried to rob me but it was dark and there wasn’t much to remember about a man wearing all black but the officer scribbled on a notepad, asking questions.

“Where were you coming from?” I almost didn’t understand the question. Why was that relevant?

“From class… we let out late.” The officer nodded making notes.

“And he was the only one, just this guy.”

“I saw another Caucasian, around six foot but he ran as I approached” Brian chimed in. I almost forgot he was there but I was so thankful that he was running, trying to get me my book or I would have been hurt or maybe worse.

“Well that’s a first.” The cop said, giggling and elbowing his partner. Two tubs of lard that looked like they both were a donut away from a massive stroke.

“What do you mean...the robbery or the fact that he was white?” He looked at me, a smile on his face but I couldn’t figure out the joke.

“Just that he’s...you see we usually have robberies by…” He stopped laughing when he saw I was finding no amusement in this. Looking back and forth from me to Brian and then to his partner. “Oh never mind.” he pulled out a business card and handed it to me.

“Well, we got one of them and we will put out warning about this other guy. But thankfully he didn’t take anything so there isn’t much we can do.”

“Story of your life I’m sure.” Snatching the business card I stared him down. This city was filled with racist assholes and it seemed like they all worked for the police department. That was one of the reasons I wanted to be a lawyer, to fight the system from the inside.

“Thanks for your help officer.” Brian shook the guy's hand, which I rolled my eyes at. They lurched back to their car, putting on sirens and leaving with the robber in their backseat. They didn’t even offer us a ride, just off into the night not giving a damn but Brian didn’t seem too shaken up about it. He was calm as a cucumber the whole time. Even while he was beating the guy’s ass, he seemed to be so in control.

“Well study buddy, we gotta stop meeting like this.” I tried smiling, if it wasn’t for him I would probably be laying in the bushes.

“Thanks for everything. I really can’t begin to tell you how thankful I am.” In the shadow of the moonlight, he looked better and he filled out his jacket nicely; things that I didn’t notice inside the lecture hall or maybe I was just too embarrassed to care that he was gorgeous. At the time, I just didn’t want to pass out.

“Oh it's nothing...can’t have you dying on me. I need you to help me study.” He laughed but I didn’t find anything funny. “Sorry...I have a sarcastic sense of humor.”

“I noticed.” I had to be nicer to people. I was often called a bitch for my seriousness but my type A personality was more of a recessive gene than something I had an option in acquiring. It was also my defense mechanism. If I was mean, people were less likely to laugh or make fun of me or at least that's what I told myself growing up.

“Wow...you're shaking.” He captured my hand in his, holding it to try to ease my shaking.

“I need to get home.” This only made me more nervous; him and me in the middle of the sidewalk, holding hands with our eyes locked on each other.

“There is a little coffee shop up here. Why don’t we go in and get you calmed down.” He said it so calmly as if he didn’t just beat the shit out of a guy.

“Sure...that’s cool.” My back pocket was buzzing from Joe still trying to get some. I knew he just missed me and wanted to come over but I was done; no more revolving doors. Instead I was walking with Brian, his tall muscular frame towering over me as we walked down the street.

“Glad you forgot that damn book at class,” he said maneuvering his computer bag over his shoulder. “I would have been pissed if my study partner got hurt on the first day.”

“Oh yeah...why so you can’t get the chapter notes?”

“Of course...chapter notes are life.” he said it with a snap and I laughed for the first time since the run in.

“There ya go. I knew I could make you laugh somehow,” he said as we made it to the coffee shop. He was the perfect gentleman, pulling the door open and letting me inside. “Now let’s see if I can get some more laughs out of you.” I walked in and I don’t know why but something more than laughs crossed my mind.
What if I gave you more than a smile Mr. McGwire?
I thought it but I didn’t dare say it as I stepped into the shop. A white boy and me had never happened. But there was a first time for everything.

I
knew
we were in the coffee shop for hours but the time went by so quickly, it felt like minutes.

We were having the times of our lives, books open with highlighters going wild, and Brian making jokes although the staff didn’t seem that happy. Finally, when the baristas started mopping near our table, we got the hint that we needed to leave.

“Well Mr. McGwire, if you type out your notes and send them to me, and vice versa, then I think we will be covered for the last class.” I said as we spilled out into the night.

“Nope, you first. You aren’t gonna steal my notes.” I laughed, playing off our now running joke that the robber really wanted my notes and not my phone. Things were funnier now but a few hours ago I didn’t even understand his sarcasm. Now, as we stood on the street, I was actually enjoying his morbid humor.

“Well, it's getting late. I have a lecture in the morning.” I told him as I looked at my watch.

“Where do you live?” His voice was different. All the sarcasm from earlier was gone. He was smoother now, sounding more concerned.

“Up the street, in that brown building.” I pointed a few blocks up the street from where we stood.

“A loft?” he asked and I nodded pulling my hand away, slowly brushing past his arm.

It seemed like we had invaded each other’s space a lot tonight. A touch here or there and maybe it was nothing but it seemed like he kept putting his hands on me in some kind of way. I didn’t feel violated, in fact, it turned me on but I wasn’t sure if he was friendly or really into me.

“Oh...that isn’t far. Let me walk you home. My car is all the way in the garage on the other side of the school anyway.”

“No...I can’t have you doing that. I’ll just walk down the main street instead of on this side street. I should have known better anyway.” If I hadn’t been trying to race home I would have thought clearer but hindsight is 20/20.

“NO” his voice was thick with emotion that stopped me in my tracks. “You aren’t from here are you?” I shook my head. The whole time we were in the coffee shop we talked about a billion things but we didn’t get personal; more so about school, St. Louis and the changing times, and silly things like reality stars and our favorite songs. But now I felt like Brian was watching out for me, maybe he was just being nice.

“You don’t need to be out here walking at night. It's no problem...let me walk you home.” I couldn’t say no. He made it clear that he felt that he must walk with me. Staring into his arctic blue eyes, I felt a calm come over me.

“Okay…” I put one foot in front of the other headed towards my loft. We were quiet but my body was screaming as the thought crossed my mind again.
What if
… I had never been with a white guy. The closest I came was kissing Adam Breenman in the coat closet of my Elementary school on a dare. But now I was an adult, in a new city, and there was no one here to tell on me or judge me. My Dad wouldn’t approve, my friend’s back home would probably disown me, but who had to know?
Stop it!
I tried pushing the thoughts from my mind as we walked under the moon to my apartment. But the closer we got to my door, I realized how cool it was to talk to someone so likeminded. When I talked about law terms, he knew what I meant and, of course, he was in the struggles of first law student life so he could relate. It was a connection I hadn’t had with anyone since I got to this city and I didn’t want it to end. With nothing but the sounds of cars and a bit of chatter from people still walking the streets, my mind was filled with thoughts, but the one that stood out above them all was my desire not to be alone. At least for a little while longer I wanted to take advantage of the male company. Approaching my door, I had an out of body experience.

I felt like I was hovering over top of my self, watching it all unfold with no way to stop things. I was at the front door to my building, home free with my keys in hand. I could have just left things alone and said good night but my confidence had resurfaced somehow while we were walking.

I had no control over it and for some reason as we stood at the door, I asked the dumbest question ever.

“Do you wanna come up and have a drink?”
Stupid.
I wanted to take back the invitation as soon as I extended it. I watched Brian’s face, stalking his expressions until he gave me an answer.

“Sure, I need a drink after all of that.” I smiled but inside I was freaking out. Whatever part of me that was responsible for my panic attacks was somehow calm but the rest of me was scrambling for things to say as we walked across the lobby to the elevators.

“So how long have you lived here.” Brian quizzed as we waited for the elevator.

“A few months. I moved in at the beginning of the summer.”

“From where?”

“Georgia.”

“Ahh… the peach state. So a peach in Missouri?” he laughed as the elevator dinged and its doors opened for us. An older couple came out, glaring at Brian and then back to me but I was used to stares in this building. I was probably one of a hand full of black people that lived in it and no matter what time of day or night they gave me looks. I tried not to think racially but I couldn’t help it, I had my Dad to blame for that.

“Yeah I guess so. A peach in Missouri.” I pressed the number 7 button and the elevator whisked us away upstairs.

“So what do you do?” I asked.

“Well I work for the government. What about you?”

“This is it. My Dad said if I got into law school he would make sure I could go.”

“Cool…” he remarked as we walked down the hall to my door. Unlocking the door, I prayed that I didn’t have any panties lying around and hopefully I didn’t leave any dishes in the sink.

But there was no way for me to hold him in the hallway while I checked. That would be rude, so I crossed my fingers, unlocking the door and walking in with Brian behind me.

“Oh wow, this is beautiful.”

“Thank you.” We walked down the hall past my office and bedroom and into the living room.

“Helluva view you got” He raised the shades. “You get to see the arch and downtown everyday. I need to move downtown.” He laughed, pulling up the shades.

Putting down my books on the coffee table, I did a quick scan of the house. Surprisingly, I didn’t have anything embarrassing out.

“Vodka or Wine?”

“Vodka, of course.” I should have known better than to offer a man’s man like him wine. The vodka was a gift that my friend sent me. I hadn’t even broken the seal until now.

A few ice cubes and cold, clear liquid later I was handing him a glass of vodka and holding a wine glass of Riesling for myself.

“So what law do you want to practice?” I had to take it back to school, nothing else interested me.

“Criminal…” He sipped his drink and I sipped mine as I scrambled for things to ask but I had made a mistake. I sat on the couch instead of the recliner and he sat down beside me. Only a couch cushion between us and I could feel the summer heat radiating off of his body.

I watched his arms as I sipped my wine.

“What about you?”

“I’m not quite sure. I’m a good litigator but I know my dad would probably want me to go into something that would represent the people.” I pointed to my Dad’s picture on the wall, his full huge afro back when it was completely black and not a patch of skunk white combed through it, as he had now.

“Cordell Morris is your dad?” That surprised the hell out of me.

“You know him?”

“Hell yeah! I read one of his books back in undergrad in my African Literature class.” Now I felt embarrassed. Why did I just assume he didn’t know my Dad because he was a white boy?

“Wow, I’m sure he is proud of you.”

“Ahh...he has a funny way of showing it.”

“How so?” He sipped his drink, making a small look of anguish as he swallowed the clear vodka, but it would take more than a bit of Riesling for me to discuss my Dad. Before I could answer, we heard shots outside. I instantly went to the floor. “What was that, a gun?”

He laughed so loudly that the sounds bounced off the walls.

“Nooo...Fireworks look. I think the baseball game is ending.” I jumped up to see fireworks lighting the sky. Standing next to Brian, so close that I could hear his heartbeat and feel the heat from his skin, I wanted his arms around me, any man’s arms around me for that matter.

Joe wasn’t a man, but the way that Brian pummeled that guy I couldn’t help but see how much of a man he was. Only a man can protect a woman like that.

We watched the fireworks, sipping our drinks as I had the idea to put some music on. Grabbing a remote from the coffee table, a few buttons later and smooth jazz filled the room.

“So where do you live?” I asked him.

“Not far, an area they call the hill. I’m not sure if you know where that is?” I told him that my Mom was from St. Louis.

“Oh cool. So you kind of know.”

“Yeah somewhat. But I won’t have time for much else but these books.” I pulled them out of my bag, setting the monstrosities out on the coffee table.