He staggers toward Taylor, scrutinizing her. When was the last time he really looked at me? When I was born? When I was a toddler? Just before he knocked me into the counter? He’s all but ignored me for so long, and now that I finally have his attention, it breaks my heart that it’s Taylor he sees.
“You can’t have tha’.” His jaw is slack; his breathing is shallow. “Gimme tha’.” He grasps for her arm, his fist closing on air.
Taylor’s back and the bottle are flush against the cabinet, as if she could push herself through them and escape. She is surrounded by murky blue. Until now, my father has been nothing more than a passive, pathetic object that lives in a chair. I don’t think she’s ever seen him in a standing position. There’s a scream building somewhere in that open mouth of hers.
Run! I silently will her. RUN! I know from experience he won’t chase her; he
can’t
chase her, but she just stands there, paralyzed.
“I sh’aid, gimme tha’!” My father makes one more lunge toward the arm holding the bottle, but he stumbles against the counter and falls onto his knees. He grabs a handful of her slippery robe to pull himself up.
The bottle comes up much too fast, and my father’s reflexes are much too slow. Along with a shrill scream, there come the sounds of smashing glass, a muffled yelp, and finally, a dull thud as my father hits the floor. The acrid smell of alcohol fills the room, and blood spreads quickly from my father’s head into the pool of amber liquid in long, red ribbons. Taylor and I both shoot out of the kitchen like cannonballs.
I’m faster.
Rei is still working on his paper when I slam against the chair and type frantically on the keyboard.
Call 911: Taylor broke a bottle over my father’s head and he’s bleeding badly.
Rei swears softly, grabs the phone, and starts pressing buttons.
Downstairs, the doorbell rings incessantly, until Robert emerges from the master bedroom to answer it. Taylor is crying and babbling something that Robert can’t make any sense of. Behind her, a trail of red smears lead up the walkway and onto the porch. As soon as she hears my voice, Yumi hurries out of their bedroom, still pulling on her bathrobe.
“Anna? What happened?” She wraps one arm around Taylor, pries the broken bottle neck out of her hand, and hands it to Robert with a knowing look.
Rei is up and out of his bedroom door. The commotion woke Saya, and Rei corrals her with one arm as she wanders out of her bedroom, rubbing her eyes with her fists. He whispers something to her and lifts her up, and she clings to him like a tired little monkey as he carries her back to her room, rubbing her back.
Yumi steers Taylor over to the couch. “Anna, honey, your foot is bleeding. Let me take a look at it. Robert, get me some paper towels and the first aid kit, please.”
I swoop back to my house to find my father still crumpled on the floor, moaning. It’s hard to tell just how much blood he’s lost since it’s mixed with the whiskey, but blood still seems to be oozing from a deep ragged gash down his forehead, through his eyebrow and dangerously close to his left eye.
A siren wails in the distance, then pulses of blinding red and white light burst through the living room window. The door was left wide open in Taylor’s hasty departure, and warm night air and mosquitoes meander through it. Rei appears at the door like a shadow as the paramedics hoist my father onto the stretcher. He follows them out and watches them load the stretcher into the ambulance, then talks to one of the paramedics briefly before they slam the doors shut and pull out of the driveway. The lights and siren slash through darkness and then it’s silent once again.
Once they’re gone, I follow Rei back into the house. Everything around us feels sticky and thick, and it has nothing to do with the humid night air. It’s my father and Taylor, all the anger and drama of tonight, so much negativity has sucked away most of the existing light and left only this dark density. I’m not strong enough to reach through this heaviness to pull the energy I need to materialize, and Rei can’t feel me beside him, even when I touch his hand. He’s busy surveying the mess in the kitchen—broken glass, blood, and booze. I wish I could tell him to go home and leave the mess, but he wouldn’t listen anyway. He picks up the bigger pieces of glass carefully, drops them into the trash can by the back door, and uses almost an entire roll of paper towels to blot up the liquid mess. In the garage, he finds a bucket. He mops quickly and methodically, leaving behind the telltale chlorine fumes that tell you he is eliminating something far too foul for regular floor cleaner to handle. He locks the door as he leaves.
At Rei’s house, Taylor wears a Hello Kitty Band-Aid on the bottom of her foot, and a sliver of glass sits on a bloody paper towel on the side table. She has curled herself into a ball in the corner of the couch, and she’s still crying softly. Robert went back to bed, but Yumi is on the couch beside her, trying unsuccessfully to find out what happened. Rei comes through the door hesitantly and turns off the light over the kitchen table before he turns the chair halfway around and straddles it, resting his arms on the back of the chair, facing the couch.
“Is Steve okay?” Yumi asks at once.
“I don’t know,” Rei says truthfully. “It looks like he lost a lot of blood. They’re taking him to Burlington Memorial.”
“She won’t tell me a thing.” Yumi pats Taylor’s shoulder and stands up. “Anna, honey, Rei’s here now. Why don’t you tell him what happened while I call your mother.”
Taylor only sniffs and curls up tighter.
As soon as Yumi is out of earshot, Rei sits next to Taylor on the couch. “Are you okay?”
“What do you care?” she mumbles.
“I care.” He lowers his voice. “Just because I don’t want you to unbutton my pants doesn’t mean I don’t care.”
“You just want
her
back.”
“It’s her body; of course I want her to get it back. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care what happens to you.”
Taylor peeks up with tear-drenched eyes. “If I leave here, I’ll be dead, and so will she. I’ve already told you, I don’t know how to get out.”
“Well, maybe I can help you.”
“How can you possibly help me?”
“I don’t know yet, but I can figure something out if you’re willing to try.”
She takes a deep, shaky breath. “I have another idea.”
“What’s that?”
“I stay where I am, and you give me another chance.”
“What kind of chance?” Rei asks suspiciously.
“A chance to … I don’t know, try again.” She uncurls herself a little and turns toward Rei, and the blues surrounding her lighten. “You said Seth and I had nothing in common, but you and I
do,
Rei. We both know how it feels when parents push, when all they care about is grades and what looks good on our college applications. They don’t care what we have to give up.” She wipes a fresh tear away on the sleeve of her robe. “I
know
your mom rides you hard, Rei. Kids hear her talking about you at the store. Everyone knows what colleges you’re applying to and what you plan to major in.”
Well, no, not everyone. Rei still hasn’t told
me
where he wants to go to college. I’m not sure he knows himself.
“That coffin was just a formality.” Taylor leans closer to him. “My parents stuck me in a box a long time ago. I was expected to get into Yale, graduate with honors, and go to law school. My father used to hint around that I could be a Supreme Court justice, if I wanted to. But not if I had a baby.” She wipes her eyes with the heels of her hands. “As if I actually wanted to be on the Supreme Court.”
“I’m sorry,” Rei says.
“I’m sorry, too.” Her voice drops to a whisper. “I just want someone to … understand me, you know?”
Rei nods dutifully. He looks like he just wants this night to be over.
“If you gave me another chance, I could prove to you I’m not this terrible person you think I am. I wouldn’t rush you this time.” Rei shifts away from her slightly. “And I wouldn’t testify against Seth,” she adds quickly.
“So what are you saying?” he asks. “Seth will go free, but Anna’s stuck where she is.”
“Rei, I’m scared,” she whispers. “That light people claim to see when they die? There was no light. Not for me.” Two more tears drop. “If I leave here, I don’t know where I’ll end up. Please?” She laces her fingers through his, almost shyly, and looks up into his eyes. “At least think about it.”
Rei looks down at their hands linked together.
“Ahem.” Both Rei and Taylor jump a little, and even I didn’t hear Yumi’s quiet feet walk down the hall. “Rei, can I talk to you?”
“Sure,” Rei disengages his hand from Taylor’s and follows Yumi down the hall into the office. She closes the door quietly.
“Did she tell you what happened?”
“She just said he came after her, and she hit him with the bottle.”
Yumi looks perplexed. “So what was all that whispering and hand-holding about?” she asks.
Rei assumes his poker face. “She’s just nervous. She thinks her mom will be mad at her. When’s Lydie coming, anyway?”
Yumi looks unconvinced. “She’s leaving now, but she wants to stop at the hospital for a few minutes to check on Steve. She should be here in an hour or so. Rei,” Yumi pauses, “you know you don’t have time to get involved with girls right now.”
This seems to catch Rei completely by surprise. “Huh?”
“Rei, think about it. You have all the pressure of keeping your GPA at school, aikido class, work, college applications, and things will only get busier next year. When would you have time to date? And I know you’re very fond of Anna, but dating your best friend is just asking for trouble. Trust your mother on that one,” she smiles and reaches up to pat his cheek.
“That’s not something you have to worry about,” Rei tells her in a wintry voice.
Suddenly, I have this overwhelming urge to topple a teacup.
CHAPTER 31
Taylor pretends to sleep. I know it. Rei knows it. I think Yumi knows it, too. When my mom gets to Rei’s house and tries to wake her, Taylor feigns sleep like she’s the living dead. Oh, how silly of me. She
is
the living dead. Rei ends up scooping her up into his arms and carries her across the dark path back to my house.
My mom opens the door for them, and Rei deposits her on top of the lavender comforter in my bedroom. As soon as he slides his arms out from beneath her, she is suddenly wide awake.
“Rei?” She catches his hand in hers.
“What.”
“Will you just think about what I said?”
“Yes.” He gently slides his hand out of hers and leans over her to take the empty vodka bottle off the bookshelf.
“Rei?”
“What.”
“Don’t you ever want to break out of the box they put
you
in?”
He hesitates. “Yes,” he admits. “You should get some sleep.” He shuts the door on his way out, leaving her in the dark.
My mom stands at the kitchen sink surrounded by an army of bottles lined up on the counter, and she pours the contents of them, one by one, down the drain. I’m feeling a little tipsy just breathing in the fumes.
“Any more?” Rei asks.
“There should be a box in the garage,” she sniffs.
Rei comes back with four bottles full of whiskey and the empty vodka bottle in a cardboard box and sets it on the counter. As soon as my mom empties each bottle and rinses it, he fits it into the box between the cardboard slots. When they are done, there are ten empty bottles in the box. My mom opens the refrigerator door and pulls out a half empty bottle of Chardonnay. She looks at it wistfully, then uncorks it and pours that down the drain, too. Rei adds that bottle to the box, locks the cardboard flaps under, and shoulders it.
“I’ll bring it to the store and recycle them for you.”
“Thanks, hon.” My mom sighs and blows her nose on a paper towel. “Did she tell you why she hit him?”
Rei shakes his head. “She hasn’t really been herself since she hit her head.”
“No, she hasn’t.” My mom rips another paper towel off the roll and wipes a few random drops of whiskey and water off the countertop. “He’s not a bad person, Rei. I don’t know if you remember what he was like before the accident, you were so young. I know Anna doesn’t remember.”
“She will. She’ll get her memory back, and who knows, maybe this was good. Maybe he’ll stop drinking.” Rei shifts the box over to his other shoulder.
My mom sighs. “She didn’t remember anything good about him even before she hit her head. She just … I don’t know. I don’t think she wants to remember. She doesn’t understand this isn’t his fault. And what’s really frustrating is we were getting along so well this week. I felt like we were finally connecting.”
“Um, yeah, I’ve got to go. I’m in court on Friday and I still have some homework to finish up tonight.”
“Oh, that’s right. How did your deposition go today?”
Rei shrugs. “I don’t know. There are a lot of different versions of what happened.”
“Is that why you two haven’t been talking as much as usual?”
I’m surprised she noticed that. I thought she was pretty oblivious to my social life.
“That and other stuff. There’s a lot going on.”
“She had to tell them the truth. You know that, right?”
“Maybe she thinks she’s telling them the truth, but I know Seth. He would never kill anyone. I’m surprised they even believe her after she hit her head.”
My mom looks uncertain. “I wasn’t there at the falls, Rei, but why would she lie? She doesn’t know this girl. I can’t believe she would jeopardize her friendship with you and testify against Seth unless she was absolutely positive.”
Rei looks too tired to argue with her. “I have to go,” he repeats and pushes through the screen door into the darkness.
* * *
I’m waiting for him in his room when he gets home.
I’m sorry,
I type on the keyboard even though I really want to type
YOUR MOTHER HATES ME!
He looks too wiped out for me to bring that up now, though.
“Aren’t you the one who said we must be the two sorriest people in the world and that you were sick of apologizing?” he asks.