Anything Goes on a Friday Night (16 page)

I peeked out the window at my shiny car. “You did good.” I turned to smile at him. “Thanks.”

“Well, of course I did good. I don’t know how not to be the best.”

“You’re cocky as hell, Finn.”

He laughed and put his hands in his lap. “I know, but it makes you laugh.”

I bit my bottom lip and sat down on the loveseat. I wiped some water off my forehead that had dripped from my hair. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell Finn how I felt. We were alone for the first time, and now would be the best time to say something if I was going to. But what if I screwed up our newfound friendship? I was scared to make things weird, and was I truly ready for another boyfriend this soon after Channing? I was scared that if he felt the same way, and we tried to be more than friends, I’d screw it up, because as badly as I tried to pretend that I was fine, I hadn’t fully healed from the Channing and Katie hurt.

“Finn?”

“Yeah?” he asked as he went into the kitchen. I followed him in and sat on the counter while he searched for something to eat.

“What if…” I stammered before I could get it out in a complete sentence. “What if someone who was friends with someone, like good friends, thought they liked that friend more than a friend?” My cheeks were hot.

He stopped searching and looked at me. “What?”

I looked at my dangling feet and shrugged. “It’s a hypothetical question.”

“You sure about that, Ellie?”

I couldn’t look at him. “Yeah…”

“Okay, well, ‘hypothetically’, I think that the friend who liked the friend more than just a friend should stick with just being friends, because usually, fucking up the friend-zone can make things awkward.”

I nodded. “Okay.” I let out a heavy sigh. I pointed to the cabinet to his left. “All the snack food is in there.”

He opened it. “So, all bullshit aside, we’re just friends, Ellie. Right?” He looked over his shoulder at me.

My cheeks were going to burst into flames. “Yeah. If that’s what you want.”

He nodded. “I don’t want a girlfriend right now. I like you and me being friends. A lot actually. Let’s not screw it up.”

“Okay. Sorry. I didn’t mean to make things weird.”

He laughed, but I could tell it was forced. Dammit, I’d made him uncomfortable.

“No biggie. Just don’t ever mention it again.”

I nodded. “Deal.”

He went back to digging in my cabinet until he found a bag of Doritos. He opened the new bag. “Want to watch a movie or something?”

“Yeah, sure.” I tried to smile and hopped off the counter. I grabbed a blanket from the hall closet and curled up on the loveseat. Finn sat on the opposite couch after putting in
The Avengers
.

I really hoped we could get past me opening my big stupid mouth. I should’ve just left it alone. But something weird happened to me when I was around Finn. Even though I hadn’t told him my whole life story or about Channing, I always felt like I could, and he’d be so understanding. I felt like I could open up to him about anything if I wanted to. So when I finally did, I opened up about the wrong thing.

I wondered if I could shake these feelings, or if they were just going to get stronger. And if they did, how would I get past it and accept that we were just friends? I couldn’t screw up things with Finn. I loved being around him, and it would crush me if I ruined it.

Stupid, Ellie.

I
DIDN’T WANT TO HAVE
to go to Walmart. I especially didn’t want to go with Nancy. Somehow my dad convinced me to. He thought it’d be good bonding or something stupid like that. I just agreed to get him to shut up.

I followed Nancy around the store for an hour before I told her I needed to get my own things. I went over to the makeup section and was looking for my favorite lip gloss when I saw Katie near the mascara. The sight of her made me sick. I was about to leave, but she saw me. We froze, staring at each other for the longest time. I tucked my hair behind my ears, grabbed a random lip gloss off the shelf, and walked off.

I wanted to grab the bitch by the ears and knee her in the nose instead. I wanted to scream and yell. But I didn’t. I was proud of myself. I was going to be the bigger person in this situation. I wasn’t going to show my ass around them or let them know how much they had hurt me. They didn’t deserve a second of my time.

I walked around the grocery aisles until I was positive I was good and wasn’t going to cry. I found Nancy and threw my lip gloss into the cart.

“That’s all you needed?” she asked.

No, but I wasn’t going to risk seeing Katie again. “Yeah.”

She raised a brow. “Okay then. I think I have everything on my list. Ready to go home?”

I nodded and pulled my cell from my purse to text Jane.

Me: I just saw Katie.

Jane: Did you beat the shit out of her?

Me: LOL. Nope. Aren’t you proud?

Jane: Hell no, girl! You should have given that girl what she deserves! I wish I would’ve been there. I would have. Dumb bitch. WHORE! Love you.

Me: Hahahaha. Love you too!

Jane: Are you okay?

Me: Yeah. It hurt a little to see her, but I’m good.

Jane: And Nancy? Is she being a total bitch?

Me: Nah. She’s being nice.

Jane: Good. See you at school tomorrow.

Me: See ya. :)

I followed Nancy out to the car and helped her load things into the trunk. I was going to put the cart away when I heard the low rumbling of an old truck.
Channing.
It stopped beside me, but I kept my eyes in front of me and walked a little faster to the cart drop off. I shoved the cart into the others a little harder than necessary.

I stopped when Channing started talking, keeping my eyes straight ahead. Nancy saw me and didn’t get into the car. She just watched the scene unfold.

“Ellie,” Channing’s voice rang out desperately. “Look at me. Please? Katie texted me and told me she saw you here. I’ve been trying to call you. Can I at least say I’m sorry?”

I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I should let him apologize because he
did
owe me that. At first, there was no pain at all. I was numb. But the more he spoke, the more I felt a dull throbbing pain. Hearing his voice was like a knife straight to my heart. The pain overtook my senses. It was almost unbearable.

“Ellie,” he said in a barely-there whisper. I was surprised I even heard it. A car behind him started honking.

I took a steadying breath. I was caving. Crumbling right in front of him. I looked at him, hot tears pooling in my eyes. “Apologize and then leave me the hell alone, Channing.”

Looking at him was so hard. Seeing the guy that I had trusted whole-heartedly, those stupid brown eyes that I once loved to gaze into, those lips that had kissed me…Tears filled his eyes. He was hurting too.
Good.
I wanted nothing more than for him to hurt and burn in hell.

“I’m so sorry, Ellie,” his voice broke, and the tears tumbled down his cheeks.

I swallowed hard, wiped my eyes, and then walked to Nancy’s car. I got in, shut the door, and completely lost it. I bawled my eyes out while Nancy drove and told me how proud of me she was. I might not like Nancy, but it felt good to hear someone say that. I couldn’t see how I was handling any of this well, but I’m glad someone could.

I WAS HAPPY I
had made the decision to change my number the night before. The texts from Channing and everyone else finally couldn’t reach me. Eventually, I’d contact Alyssa and Dillon. They were the only ones I actually missed and cared about reconnecting with.

I looked at Finn as he walked into class. I’d texted him last night, letting him know I’d changed my number, but he never responded. I smiled at him, and he sort of smiled back.

Something was wrong.

After he sat down, I turned to look at him. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just tired.”

He was
never
this short with me.

I frowned a little. “Oh. Okay. So, did you get my text last night?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Why?”

“Just wondering because you never responded.”

“And? Did I need to respond? I added it in my phone.” His pissy tone shocked me.

I scrunched my eyebrows and shrugged. “Guess not. Just making sure.” I turned in my seat and stared at my pencil and paper.

The rest of class was so awkward. I tried a handful of times to start a conversation with him, but he treated me the same as he had at the beginning of class. And if I recall, during lunch he was the same way. Maybe he was just having a bad day. I pulled out my phone and texted Jane.

Me: Have you noticed that Finn is in a bad mood today?

Jane: No?

Me: Just wondering.

Jane: Gotta go! This teacher will flip if he catches me with my phone.

I put my phone away and worked on my homework for the next day.

After school, I saw Finn talking to his friends by his truck. I kept my eyes straight ahead and went to my car. I threw my stuff in the backseat and was about to get in the car when I looked up and saw Finn alone. He was looking in his backpack for something. I swallowed hard. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to ask him what his problem was. But I also wanted to ignore him for being rude and just let him talk to me when he wanted to.

I decided to go talk to him because he would do the same thing if he noticed I was upset, and since we were friends now, it was my job to check on him. I walked over to him and cleared my throat. When he heard me, he stopped digging in his backpack and looked at me. He used his fingers to comb his hair back so it was out of his eyes.

“What’s your deal today?”

“I don’t know. What’s yours?” he snapped back.

My mouth fell open. “Excuse me? I’m fine! It’s you who has the problem! You’re being an asshole!”

“Maybe I just don’t want to talk to you, just like there’s times you don’t want to talk to me. Back off, Elena!” He walked around me and got into his truck. He slammed his door and drove away.

I stood there, swallowed by a cloud of dust in the student parking lot, alone and in shock.

What a jerk!