An Unexpected Christmas (18 page)

Nate

April
was acting weird. She had said it was because she was missing her family but
part of me knew that wasn't the only thing wrong. I wondered if I had done
something. Or maybe she was regretting asking me to spend the night? I hoped it
wasn't that. I didn't regret anything I had done in regards to her, if anything
I wanted more. More time to show her what she did to me, more opportunities to
kiss her and more reasons to be alone with her. Just thinking about it had my
head spinning and my heart racing. I don't ever remember feeling this way about
anyone. I thought I had been in love before but it was nothing like this.  This
was deep and fast and exciting and I wanted to see where it would go.

I
had to be on a plane to Miami the day after tomorrow and I would be gone for
three months but I had already looked into sorting a flight out for her to come
and visit. I would need to find out if she could take time off work but I'm
sure if I needed to I could sweet talk Ella into letting her come visit me, or
play the big brother card, or bribe her. I don't think I could go the whole
time without seeing her in person. Then once I was home we could go out and I
could introduce her to my friends who I knew would love her, and then there
would be parties and premieres that I was usually invited to that I'm sure she
would love to attend.

 I
was just so excited to share my life with her. Everything I wanted to do and
experience I now wanted to do those things with her, and everything she might
want to do I wanted to be there for. An outsider may think I was acting crazy,
that it was too fast but I didn't care, I knew what I felt and I knew it was
real. Life was too short to sit about and not bother going after what you
wanted. If I had done that in my past then I would never have gotten where I
was today. I had worked bloody hard at my career and it was finally paying off
and I wanted someone to share it with, I wanted April.

If
I closed my eyes I could picture her in my kitchen, surrounded by the white
bricks and white cupboards and sitting on the black marble counter smiling at
me in that way that speeds up my heart and turns me on. I could picture her in
my bed, wrapped in my duvet after a very long night, and that image made me so
happy I wanted to bundle her in my car and drive none stop until I could make
it a reality.

But
I still didn't know what she wanted. She acted like she wanted to be with me,
like she wanted me, but then this morning she hadn't seemed like herself, like
she was having second thoughts. I hoped to God it wasn't that. We were just
getting started and I wanted to see where we were going to end up. Last night
had been amazing and I wanted a repeat, and I wanted to kiss away any worries
she had, I just needed the opportunity.

 We
had spent the morning hanging around the living room not really doing anything.
April read a little and I caught myself staring at her a couple of times and
had to catch myself. I still wasn't sure when she wanted people to know about
us but I was hoping it was soon. The sneaking around was fun but I wanted to
kiss her whenever I wanted and I wanted to kiss her all the time. I, at least,
wanted Mum and Ella to know before I left. I knew they would be happy for us
but I needed April to be comfortable with people knowing.

Mum
had done a fantastic job, as always, on Christmas dinner. The turkey was
perfect and at thirty three I felt bad that I hadn't helped more but she had
insisted on taking care of everything and refused my help. I suppose it was
because she had been doing it on her own for so many years that it was just
easier for her to continue. I wondered why she had never remarried. She hadn't
been that old when dad left but I can't even remember her going on a date let
alone anything long term. I hoped it hadn't been because of Ella and me that
she hadn't remarried. She seemed happy with her life and that's all I want for
her.

'Would
anyone like anymore?' Mum looked around the table. It seemed everyone enjoyed
my Mum's cooking as much as I did.

'No,
thank you.' April's smile was genuine and I felt myself smile in response. She
had seemed in a better mood since this morning and I guessed that the chat she
had with her sister must have helped. 'I think if I eat any more I might
explode. It was all so delicious.' She leaned back in her chair. 'Can I help
clear up?'

'Thank
you, but no. You are a guest and guests do not help on Christmas day. My
children however,' Mum looked from me to Ella then back to April, 'do.'

Ella
rolled her eyes then smiled at April before standing and gathering the plates.
I smiled when April looked at me but followed my sister's actions and began to
clear some of the dishes.

'I
might pop out for some fresh air then.' April stood and I watched as she walked
out of the dining room. I heard her call the dogs and I smiled, she had settled
in so easily here that it was going to be odd seeing her in the city, in my
house. Odd but good and I was excited to spend some time alone with her where
we could really see where we were going.

Ella,
Mum and I cleared the table and the three of us made quick work of the cleaning
up. I poured Mum another glass of wine and insisted that she go and put her
feet up in the living room, thankful when Ella decided to join her as I wanted
the opportunity to talk to April alone and give her the other gift I had for
her.

I
grabbed my coat then slipped my hand into the pocket. I felt the box I had left
there, gift wrapped and waiting, and I smiled to myself. I was excited to see
her reaction but also nervous as hell, I hope she liked it I really did.

I
pulled open the back door and was hit by the freezing air. April had been
outside for about fifteen minutes and I hoped she wasn't too cold. I quickly
closed it behind me then jogged down the path and up over the sand dune. I
spotted her and the dogs not too far away and she was looking out to sea, Toby
and Milly running in and out of the water and I wondered what she was thinking
about.

As
I got closer she turned and smiled at me and my heart did a little jolt.

'Have
you finished all your chores?' She laughed as I reached her side.

'I
have, I'm good like that.' I smiled down at her and my nerves seemed to take
over from the excitement. 'So...' I rocked back on my heels.

'So...
what?' She was giving me an odd look as if to ask what was wrong with me.

I
wrapped my fingers tightly around the box in my pocket. 'So, I still have a
gift for you.'

She
tilted her head to one side and smiled. 'So, you do. And your note said I had
to wait until we were alone and...' She made a point to look all around us.
'...we are quite alone now.'

‘I
thought I was supposed to be the actor?' She laughed and I realised that I
needed to kiss her. I grabbed the front of her coat and hauled her up against
me and dropped my lips to hers. Her kisses were amazing and I didn't want to
stop but we couldn't stay on the beach forever.

'Was
that my present?' Her voice was husky as she laughed up at me and I stroked my
thumb over her cheek.

'No,
that was mine.' I pushed my hand into my pocket then pulled out the small box.
'This is for you.' I handed her the box and when she took it she just looked
down at it. 'It's Christmas, you are allowed to open it.' She looked up and I
sent her a small smile, sure that my nerves were showing.

She
smiled back at me then turned her attention back to the box in her hand. I
watched as she pulled gently on the red ribbon that was tied around it and when
it came loose I took it from her and pushed it back into my pocket. Then I watched
as she slowly lifted the lid and looked down at its contents.

'It's
beautiful. You shouldn't have.'

'Well
I wanted to. Do you really like it?' Her smile had dropped but she stayed
looking down at the necklace. I had found a local jewellery maker who make
custom pieces. I wanted something simple but with meaning. It was a simple
chain and suspended in the middle was a long flat bar with numbers stamped into
it.

'I
love it, but what are the numbers?'

I
smiled at her words. 'It's the coordinates of the cottage. It's where I first
saw you.' She pulled in a sharp breath and I saw the tears form in her eyes.
'Hey, hey.' I pulled her towards me and wrapped my arms around her. 'It wasn't
meant to make you cry.' I rubbed a hand up and down her back until her breathing
relaxed and she looked up at me.

'It's
the most thoughtful gift anyone had ever given me. Thank you.'

I
lowered my head and placed a soft kiss to her lips then pulled back enough to
take the box from her and gently lift the necklace out gesturing for her to
turn around. She lifted her hair out of the way and I looped the chain around
her neck, fastened it and lowered my head and placed a kiss to the side of her
neck. I felt her lean back against me and let out a little sigh. She turned
around and looked up at me with those hazel eyes.

'How
does it look?'

I
didn't bother looking at it just kept my eyes on hers. 'It's perfect.' She
stared at me for a moment, she shook her head and let out a little laugh. I
reached out and took her hand in mine then tugged on it until she bumped into
me. I didn't lean down this time I waited and watched her.

Her
breathing began to quicken again and finally she placed her free hand on my
chest and rose up onto her tiptoes and lifted her lips to mine. As soon as they
touched my body took over. I sank my free hand into her hair and captured her
lips fully. She tasted sweet like the Christmas pudding she had eaten and the
champagne she had been drinking. I loved kissing her, I loved the feel of her,
I loved her and I wanted to tell her but I still felt she was holding back and
I didn't know how to help.

I
moved my hand to her cheek and felt how cold she was. I broke our kiss and
smiled down at her. 'We should probably head back to the house before you
freeze to death.'

She
smiled at me then nodded. I was still holding her hand and I tucked it in to my
pocket and smiled when she snuggled up to my side. I called the dogs and we
walked back along the beach towards the cottage. I still wanted to talk to her
about what I wanted after we left but it would have to wait until later when we
were a little warmer and I could figure out exactly the right words.

April

My necklace from Nate was the
most thoughtful thing anyone had ever given me and something I was going to
cherish for the rest of my life. When I wore it I would only think of the happy
memories I had of him.

When we got back from our walk
along the beach, something else I was going to miss, we joined Ella and Maggie
in the living room. Ella had pulled out a stack of board games and after
fetching me a fresh glass of champagne Nate and I settled around the coffee
table.

After a game of Monopoly which
lasted a good hour and a half, and two rounds of Cluedo, I realised that Nate
was a sore loser and Ella loved to rub in that fact. It made me so happy to see
their sibling rivalry and memories of the hours Abby and I had spent playing
games when we were children flooded my thoughts.

'I should be good at this, you
must be cheating.' Nate glared at his sister. He was sitting next to me on the
floor while Ella and Maggie sat side by side on the sofa and he had been slowly
drawing circles on my thigh with his fingertips for the last thirty minutes.
The Cluedo board was spread out over the coffee table surrounded by half empty
glasses and chocolate wrappers.

'Just because you are friends
with a fake detective does not mean you should be good at Cluedo.' Ella shot
back. It was like watching a verbal tennis match between the two and I had no
idea who to put my money on.

'That's not even...'

'And besides,' Ella interrupted
her brother. 'I'm smarter than you.' She stuck her tongue out at him and I
couldn't hold in my laughter.

Nate turned to me. He looked
serious but I could see the humour in his eyes. 'Oh you think that's funny do
you?'

I tried to get my laughter under
control but failed so picked my glass up to hide behind and then muttered, 'a little
bit, yeah.'

Ella, laughing at my response,
stood. 'I'm getting another drink, do you want one?'

'No thanks,' Nate answered, never
taking his eyes off me.

I looked up at Ella and smiled.
'I'm good, thank you.' She nodded then headed into the kitchen. I placed my
glass back on the table and looked at Nate.

He leaned in slightly then
whispered, 'traitor.'

I sent him my most innocent look
and his gaze softened and I couldn't help but bite down on my lower lip. His
eyes darkened and his tongue darted out to moisten his lips. I swallowed then
glanced over at Maggie whose attention, I was glad, was captured by the TV
guide. I looked back at Nate and realised that I would happily let him win any
game he wanted if he would keep looking at me that way.

I had decided that I wouldn't
think about tomorrow, that I would only focus on today and today I was Nate
Hamilton's secret girlfriend. It sounded foreign and out of place but ever so
exciting.

As Ella walked back into the room
and dropped herself back into her seat, Nate looked down at his watch. He
looked at me and smiled like an exited kid.

'It's quarter to six,' he
announced. 'You grab drinks and I'll grab some snacks.' I looked at him
confused; I had no idea what he was talking about. 'Doctor Who time!’

'You could watch it down here,'
Maggie interjected, lifting her gaze from the magazine and looking hopefully at
her son.

'Mum, do you remember last
Christmas when we tried that?'

Maggie nodded as a grave
expression crossed her face. 'Go then, but come back down afterwards.' Nate
smiled then moved around the table and kissed her on the cheek, then headed
into the kitchen.

I picked up his glass and my own
then filled his from the drinks cabinet and followed him. He was filling a bowl
with popcorn when I entered.

'So are you going to tell me what
happened last Christmas?' I placed our glasses on the side then opened the door
to the fridge and reached in for the open bottle of champagne. Nate hadn't been
lying when he said he bought a couple of bottles and I think he may have picked
up a couple more when he was out the other day.

'Well, Mum insisted I watch it in
the living room, said it would be rude if I disappeared for an hour. What I
should point out is that my aunt and uncle were staying with their kids. My uncle
is a lot younger than my mum and his kids, my cousins, were only six and eight
at the time. Well they were running around, hyped up on chocolate and sweets
and I was trying to watch and it got to a point where I couldn't take the noise
anymore and I may have used every expletive in my vocabulary very loudly which
my cousins decided was the funniest thing to repeat, for the rest of the
holiday.' I was trying to keep a straight face. 'I don't normally blow up like
that but it was the only thing I wanted to watch the whole holiday and I had
sat through hours of kids films to keep them happy.'

I laughed, the whole thing seemed
ridiculous, he seemed to be the sweetest man alive and it was nice to know
something could affect him enough to react in that way. I moved to put the
champagne bottle back into the fridge to keep it chilled. 'I can't imagine your
aunt and uncle were best pleased.'

He chuckled. 'They really
weren't. I had to babysit for the rest of their stay and explain to the kids
why they shouldn't say such things. They eventually forgave me sometime around
March. Anyway, are you ready?'

I nodded and picked up our
glasses. 'Where are we watching it?' I hadn't even thought about it until now.

'In my room.'

He turned and gestured for me to
go first but I stood rooted to the spot. 'Is that okay? Won't Ella and your mum
think it's a bit odd us being up there alone?' I had lowered my voice and
stared up at him.

He leaned in and lowered his
voice to match mine. 'What, you think they might work out all of the things I
want to do to you?' My eyes widened at his words and he chuckled at me then
stood up straight. 'Come on, I don't want to miss the start.'

Nate took the lead and I followed
him up the stairs and down the hallway to his bedroom. I was curious to know
what it looked like as it was one of the few rooms I hadn't been in. He pushed
the door open and walked in as I stood in the doorway.

His room was smaller than the one
I was staying in but it was much neater than I had thought it could be. In my
experience boys' bedrooms were messy but there didn't seem to be anything out
of place and I wondered if he had tidied or if he was always so neat. The walls
were a pale green and the furniture was all white which seemed to fit in with
the rest of the house seaside theme. There was a large photograph hanging on
the wall above the bed and I moved into the room to get a better look at it. It
was a swirl of greens and purples and pinks - it was stunning.

Nate had placed the bowl of
popcorn on the bedside table and sat himself leaning against the headboard,
legs stretched out in front of him.

I placed our glasses on the
bedside table closest to me then pointed at the photo. 'Is that the
aurora borealis?'

He
twisted around to look at it and smiled. 'Yeah, I took that a couple of years
ago when I did some filming in Canada.'

'You
took that?' He just smiled at me. 'It's beautiful. There really isn't much
you're not good at is there?' I looked at him and saw that his smile had faded
slightly and I wondered why he thought that was a bad thing. I wanted to bring
his smile back. 'Well except board games, you're pretty crap at those.'

He
laughed and I felt my relief flood into me. Nate then opened his arms to me and
I simply stared at him. He sent me a slightly lopsided smile that was filled
with amusement. 'What? You think anyone would disturb us during Doctor Who?
They wouldn't dare.'

I
bit nervously on my lower lip, I had been worried that either Ella or Maggie
might walk in and see us snuggled up together on the bed and then they would
all hate me and I don't think I could live with myself if they thought so bad
of me. I knew I wouldn't be able to work with Ella if she hated me and that
would mean moving back to my mum and dad's and finding a new job, and I loved
my life so much, was I really gambling with it now for just one more day with
this man?

I
smiled at him and climbed onto the bed and settled myself into his side. Yes,
apparently I was gambling with my future and I took a moment to remember what
this felt like.

'Don't
worry so much.' He placed a kiss to my head and snuggled me in closer, wrapping
his arm around my shoulders. He lifted the remote for the TV which stood on top
of a set of chest of drawers at the end of the bed and flicked to the right
channel. We sat in silence and watched the last minute of the current program.
It felt so easy, so right to be lying here with him in his room and I thought
for a moment that maybe this could work, maybe I was freaking out about nothing.
However, in the real world I was not going to fit into his life as a movie
star, I would look ridiculous next to him on the red carpet and eventually he
would see that too. No, I was just going to enjoy the time I had with him and
then walk away, it was for his own good.

The
voice over on the TV announced the start of our programme and I felt Nate's arm
tighten around me, I looked up and he smiled down at me an excited look on his
face then we both turned and focused our attention on the screen.

The
tears fell silently down my cheeks. My heart hurt and I really needed a drink.
I let out a sigh and looked at the man at my side. He was wiping a tear from
his own eye while switching off the TV and I sent him a small smile.

'Well
that was a rollercoaster of emotion.' He reached up and wiped away my tears. 'I
don't like seeing you cry.'

I
placed my hand on the side of his face and he closed his eyes. I slowly stroked
my thumb back and forth implanting this image into my mind. When he opened them
again they were darker and looked at me with such intensity. He took my hand
from his cheek and held it then leaned over and kissed me, slowly at first and
then more urgently, pushing me further down the bed. He moved so he was
covering me and I savoured the weight of him. His hand found its way under my
jumper and his lips moved to my ear. 'I want you, so much.' I could feel how
much through his trousers and I wanted to let him have me, to take me there in
his bed, surrounded by his things but then I remembered.

'How
long do you think Ella would wait once the show had finished?' Nate swore then
planted a quick kiss to my lips before rolling off me.

We
could then hear her footsteps coming down the hallway and we had just enough
time to straighten ourselves up before she had flung the door open and strode
into the room. 'God, you both look like someone died.'

'Someone
just might,' Nate muttered, but luckily Ella didn't hear him.

'It
was a pretty traumatic episode and you know what I'm like.' She nodded and then
smiled at me. Her right hand was playing with the charm bracelet on her left
wrist and I had noticed she had been doing it most of day. I smiled and
wondered if she had spoken to Roddy today. I stood up and grabbed her hand. 'I
need to talk to you.'

'You
do?' Both Ella and Nate said at the same time and I sent him a wide eyed glare.
I pulled on Ella's hand and lead her down the hallway to my room. Once there I
closed the door behind us and gestured for her to sit on the bed. I sat next to
her and took a deep breath.

'Have
you talked to Roddy today?' She looked down at her bracelet sheepishly then
shook her head. 'Ella, Why not?' She shrugged her shoulders. 'You like him?' I
asked and her head shot up, she stared at me like a deer that had been caught
in a headlight. I corrected myself, 'you
do
like him. So what is holding
you back?'

'I
don't know.' She looked at me, silently asking me to give her the answer to fix
it all. I had always been quite good at giving advice to people I was just
never good or brave enough to listen to myself. This was no exception.

'He
likes you, clearly he likes you.' I gestured to her bracelet, 'so call him,
even if it is to just pop round for a drink. He made quite a big gesture with
his gift, so the ball’s in your court as far as I can tell.' I wondered why she
hadn't called him yet, she was single and as far as I knew so was he and he
seemed like such a nice guy I didn't see what was stopping her. Ella was
nodding now and then she stood.

'You're
right, I'm going to call him.' She turned to me and leaned down to kiss my
cheek. 'Thanks April.'

I
smiled as she left my room and my hand reached up to my necklace. It was also a
big gesture, one that I didn't know how to truly react to. I had never been in
this situation before. I had never been in a situation even
like
this;
where I wanted something so much but knew it would never work. Nate and I
hadn't declared anything to each other but I also knew it was the closest I had
ever been. I knew I loved him, I would be a fool not to but it was all too much
too soon. I was undeserving of him, of his generosity and kindness, and it was
killing me. I had the sudden urge to run away. To just pack my things and slip
away into the night with no word, but that would be too cruel and I wasn't that
much of a coward to not end it all properly. Taking a deep breath I stood and
moved over to the door and opened it only to be pushed back into the room.

'Did
you tell her?' Nate was smiling down at me; he had closed the door behind
himself and looked down at me eagerly waiting for my answer.

I
looked up into his eyes. 'I didn't tell her. I wanted to talk to her about
Roddy.'