Allie's War Season Three (51 page)

"Allie." Revik struggled for words, still caressing the sword and sun tattoo that covered most of the middle of my back. He kissed it, then my neck, holding me against him. I felt pain in his hands, and had to fight not to look at him again.

"Allie," he said, still fighting to speak. "Jesus...I thought...Wreg said the Lao Hu didn't do that. He said they don't
beat
their consorts..."

I felt my shoulders tense again, and fought to keep it out of my light.

I'd known this would come up, of course, as soon as he saw the two tattoos. He'd been a little too preoccupied with sex before to look at me all that carefully, I guess...and anyway, I'd been on my back for most of that time in his room, before the meeting with Vash. I'd already resolved to tell him the truth rather than lie about it, or try and talk around it somehow. It made sense to just rip the bandage off this one, since he would find out the truth anyway.

Still, it was hard to go on when I felt the pulses coming off his light, pain, but not separation pain, and a kind of helpless grief.

My voice remained carefully neutral, but I knew that wouldn't help, either.

"They don't, usually," I said, sighing. "...They don't beat their consorts. This was after the Gerwix thing." Glancing up at him, I winced at his expression. "...And even then, Voi Pai was pissed at him for doing it. She gave me to him, but she didn't authorize him hurting me physically. She probably just didn't like that it interfered with me seeing clients, but it was still a relief when she found out. Ulai told her, the one you saw in China, who..." Trailing, rather than finishing
that
sentence, I shrugged again, flushing. "...The whole thing ended up being a blessing in disguise. She forbade that asshole from going near me again. Ulai went back to being my handler, and he was all right..."

"Ditrini," Revik said. His voice remained heavy. "It was Ditrini, right?"

I turned, staring up at him warily. "Did Wreg talk to you?"

"No," Revik said. His jaw tightened. "Raven. I had them edit it out of the transcript."

I nodded, biting my lip. I'd forgotten. "Yeah, she was there a few times."

He just stood there for a moment while I distracted myself, dunking my head under the hot water again, closing my eyes. I already had a pretty good idea that sex was off the menu, for now at least. My little story about the Chinese tattoos pretty much killed the mood. Still, I hadn't really done this for sex. I'd wanted to help him to relax.

So far, I'd managed to do pretty much the opposite of that.

"Come here," I coaxed, holding out a hand. "...Please."

He stayed where he was, his expression unreadable.

"I'm getting it removed," I said. "I already talked to Wreg about it..."

"It's seer ink, Allie. It'll hurt. A lot."

He sounded angry. Frowning, I tried to catch his gaze, couldn't.

"So?" I said, biting back the defensive creep I could hear in my voice. "I'll have a scar. Isn't that better? I don't want that asshole's mark on me..." When he wouldn't return my gaze, I averted mine, folding my arms. "Do you really think I should keep it? Or are you just pissed at me that it's there in the first place...?"

"Neither," he said, still not looking at me.

"Then what?"

He turned, his clear eyes hard as glass.

"What the fuck do you think, Allie?" he growled. "I want to put a hit on the son of a bitch...I want him in the ground."

Jumping a little, I stared at him. When I read the look on his face, I realized he was serious.

"What?" I said. "Revik, no. Why?"

He ran a hand through his wet hair, moving to stand directly under the nozzle. I watched him close his eyes, felt him fighting with his light, trying to get it under control again. I felt that Syrimne part of him, too, at odds with the part of him trying to control it...or maybe just trying to keep it from where I could feel it. I also felt the other person, the one that was usually more rational, but he didn't feel much calmer. He felt determined instead, and I knew from past experience what that probably meant. It meant he would do what he felt he had to do, and if he thought I couldn't handle it, he just wouldn't tell me about it.

Stepping closer, I slid my arms around his waist. I had to prod him a bit with my light before he looked down at me.

"Hey," I said. "I promised myself I wouldn't lie to you about this...so I didn't. But it's not worth starting an even bigger war over that piece of shit."

He avoided my eyes. "Things can't get any worse with the Lao Hu, Allie...don't kid yourself. And don't think it's all me being petty, either. If he was willing to do this to you, he's still a threat. We can't risk him coming after you again."

"Revik," I said, sighing. "He's their most senior infiltrator..."

"I don't give a fuck who he is...all the more reason."

"But why even bother? What can he do to me now?" I looked up, studying the expression on his face. "Why
kill
him...when you know it'll only make Voi Pai flip out? He can't hurt me, Revik...he can't even get near me."

"He was trying to break the bond." Revik's eyes held zero compromise, as if daring me to lie to him. "Wasn't he? Trying to force me out of your light...replace me with himself? That was the meaning of the mark...it was a promise to you. Wasn't it?"

I fell silent, looking between his eyes. I don't know why it surprised me that he'd figured it out so fast, but it still managed to catch me off guard.

"Yeah," I said finally, sighing again.

"Then he's a threat to you, Allie," he said. "...And to me, if that makes it more palatable for you. Or didn't it occur to you it would kill
me
if he succeeded?"

"But he was never
going
to succeed!" I said, a little exasperated. "It was a total power trip on his part...a complete ego wank. I never wanted anything to do with him...and I knew how to close my light by then, and not only in sex. Once...and I mean
once,
early on...he managed to get me wasted enough that he convinced me he was you. That was the only time I opened to him...the only time I opened to
any
of them, really. After that, I didn't let him near my light. I'd shield from him if he so much as held my hand. From what Ulai told me, he didn't have a chance in hell at succeeding without my cooperation, and I flat out refused to give it to him..."

Revik just shook his head, his expression unmoving.

"You still don't understand seers, Allie."

My hackles rose, without my willing it. "What does that mean?"

"It means he
fixated
on you," he said, turning on me angrily. "...Like Maygar did, Allie. Remember Maygar? Remember what
he
did, when he got fixated?" Shaking his head when I only frowned, he grunted in what felt almost like an apology. "Hell...like
I
did, before I pulled you out of San Francisco. Seers get fixated. It's more than a crush, but it's not quite love, either, when seers get attached like this. It doesn't go away overnight. Sometimes it doesn't go away at all, Allie...especially if the seer in question isn't overly stable..."

I stared up at him, looking between his eyes.

"I don't want you killing for me!" I said. "I don't want you killing,
period
...not unless it's absolutely necessary! Jesus, Revik...haven't we talked about this? How it's not good for you to get like this?"

"Yes," he shot back. "And I believe I told you, point blank, that I'd still kill if I had to, given who and what we both are. I said I'd have to do it if anyone posed a real threat to one of us...and not only in the middle of a military op..." When I looked away, clicking at him, he caught hold of my upper arms, pulling me closer to him, but almost gently that time. "Allie. The head infiltrator of the Lao Hu is fixated on you...I'd say that constitutes a real threat, wouldn't you?"

"That's not the point..." I began.

"That's exactly the point!" he snapped.

"Revik...you need to chill out about this! You need to remember why Balidor got all paranoid about you and me being sexual again!"

He only stood there, his jaw hardening as he clicked sharply, and seemingly at the tiled wall. Taking in his expression, I could only look at him for a moment. Even so, I found myself using my light, trying to read behind the sparks of heat still coming off his aleimi...and what had to be fear woven in with the rest.

"Are you mad at me?" I said finally.

He stared at me, as if startled.

He shook his head, tugging on my arms, pulling me closer.

"No." He shook his head again, but he seemed to be really seeing me that time, his expression losing some of its hardness. "No, Allie. I'm not mad at you...I swear I'm not. Honestly, it scares the hell out of me. Seers have been known to kill over unrequited fixations. They've been known to kill the object of that fixation...they've also been known to kill or go after their mates, boyfriends, human owners...even their parents sometimes, if they got in the way. It sounds like he might have killed you, if Voi Pai hadn't intervened..."

I shook my head, clicking softly. "The others wouldn't have allowed it."

"They might not have been able to stop him, Allie!"

I flinched at the charge that rose in his words. Then I just stood there as he looked at me, unsure what to say. I knew he was right, of course. I'd known I was in danger at the time. I'd felt the threat...it's why I finally talked to Ulai and showed him the bruises and the tat I woke up with after Ditrini had my food drugged. It's why I talked to Charlie and Miao, two of the other consorts with whom I'd been friendly before the whole mess with Gerwix and then Ditrini. I'd also seen the way the other seers acted whenever I was around. They treated him with kid gloves...I even caught a few of them eyeing him warily, like they knew they were dealing with someone who wasn't quite playing with a full deck.

Some of them were worried for me, too, I guess.

I hadn't really had anyone phrase it to me quite like this before, though. Even Wreg, when I talked to him about it, hadn't gone into specifics regarding his opinion of Ditrini. He'd gotten pretty quiet while I described how the tat happened...uncharacteristically quiet, now that I thought about it. He'd seemed disturbed, yes, but at the time, I just figured I'd embarrassed him, telling him all that personal stuff.

He
had
tried to convince me to tell Revik about it, though.

"Allie," Revik said.

When I looked up, I saw him hesitating, studying my eyes, his own cautious.

"Allie," he repeated. "I'm not angry...I'm sorry if I sounded like I was. I'm sorry if anything I said sounded like an accusation. It wasn't. It really, really wasn't...I just don't like this. I don't like any of this, and I think you need to take it more seriously..."

Nodding, I didn't answer, but found myself turning over his words.

Honestly, I'd just hoped I wouldn't ever have to think about Ditrini again. Leaving the Forbidden City had meant leaving him behind, too, and I'd told myself I wouldn't waste another breath on him or his stupid power trips.

I let Revik pull me back into his arms when he reached for me again.

My body softened when I leaned up against him, more so when he caressed my face with his hands, pushing the hair out of my eyes. I felt warmth on him again, love, but that fear still whispered around the edges of his light, darkening the rest of what I could see. I was studying his eyes, trying to read past the determined, almost angry look I still saw there...even as I realized I already knew what it meant. I continued watching his face as he pulled me closer, caressing my neck, pushing back my wet hair to kiss my face. He leaned down to kiss my mouth, but I tightened my hold on his arms, shaking him a little.

"Revik," I said. "Whatever you're planning on doing...don't. Please, just don't. I'm asking you. I don't want you making yourself even more of a target. He's not worth it. And anyway, a lot of the other Lao Hu were pretty pissed off at what he did. Everyone was
really
nice to me after they saw your symbol on my back. I'd rather have them think twice before putting a bead on your head the next time we're in public..."

"They didn't intervene," Revik said.

"Actually, a few of them did," I shot back. "I even saw another senior infiltrator chew him out for marking me...saying it was a sacrilege and on and on. That the gods would punish him. If anything, him being such a lunatic probably
helped
us..."