Against the Dawn (2 page)

“All right,” Brakae said, closing the copy of
Vogue
. She smoothed the cover lovingly before placing it on the stack of other magazines I’d brought her. The supply of pop culture fodder would hopefully tide her over until my next visit. “She’s going to hear an earful from me, though. Moira never brings me magazines
or
Honey Nut Cheerios.”

My return trip home from
O Anel
took more effort than I was used to. As if my will fought against my mind, the desire to come home took actual effort to manifest. The roar of traffic, the hum of pedestrians and other city sounds were deafening in comparison to the quiet of
O Anel
. The sensory overload was almost too much and it took everything I had not to return to that quiet place and continue to hide. Instead, as though my feet had rooted themselves to the sidewalk, I stood outside of my apartment building, my stomach coiled into a tight, anxious knot.

I wasn’t ready.

The building loomed above me, the windows, empty eyes that looked down on me with disdain. I swallowed down the fear rising up my throat. I could do this. Kade was dead and he couldn’t hurt me or anyone else ever again.
Come on, Darian, you’ve got this. Put one foot in front of the other
…

To
whom do you belong…?
Kade’s words echoed in my mind, accompanied by the memory of writhing beneath his hands, begging for his touch. I doubled over, and gulped in drafts of breath as I hung my head between my knees. I don’t know how long I remained that way, focusing on sound of breath contracting and releasing in my lungs until my heart rate slowed to an acceptable pace and I was satisfied that I wasn’t going to pass out. Or empty the contents of my stomach onto the street. “Bullshit,” I said, loud enough startle a pigeon who’d wandered toward me on the sidewalk. I belonged to myself. I would
not
let that Cambion bastard have power over me, especially in death.

On shaky legs, I made my way up the stairs to the building’s entrance. Magic swirled at my feet, sniffing like wary hounds. Reaver, the Time Keeper of the human realm had cast powerful protection wards on my building. I didn’t know the specifics, but I assumed they protected my place from unwanted entry of those who would do me harm, while allowing my allies to pass through safely. At least, I hoped that was the case. The heady Sidhe magic crept up my calves like a vining plant before slinking away once it recognized me. I reached out, my hand coming to rest on the door handle while I took a cleansing breath and pulled open the door.

Nothing jumped out at me. But then again, Reaver’s magic was ancient and I knew the wards would hold. Coupled with the high-tech security system Raif had installed, the place probably had better protection than Fort Knox. I stepped inside the metal cage of my service elevator, surprised to find that it had been repaired. Kade had bent and damaged the cage door and car when he’d tried to kick his way inside. It obviously hadn’t taken too much to fix it. At least one thing I could be glad for.

I spent the short trip to the second floor with my eyes closed. I could have traveled as my ethereal self, merging with the daylight, but my nerves were jittery and my skin crawled. The added sensation of leaving my body behind would have been a little more than I could handle. God, I hadn’t felt so vulnerable in over a century. The elevator came to a halt, and as I stepped into my studio apartment, I slowly opened my eyes. I blinked. Took in my surroundings. Blinked again.

Jesus
.

The space no longer resembled the apartment I’d left days—or rather, months—ago. My studio had been completely transformed, and from the looks of it, the individual who’d taken it upon himself to remodel had dug deep into his pockets to get it done.

“Xander,” I muttered under my breath.

No doubt the High King of Highhandedness was behind my extreme home makeover. He was the only man I knew ballsy enough to invade my space—and totally redecorate it—without asking permission first. My dark hardwood floors had been replaced with lighter bamboo. The white leather furniture exchanged for plush sofas and chairs in earth tones and covered in some cozy, velvety fabric. My head spun at the number of throw pillows on each piece. Was there even room for anyone to sit?

My bed, that awful, godforsaken bed that Kade had tortured me in, was long gone. My stomach unknotted as relief flooded me. A large, mahogany four-poster sat in the far left corner of my studio, covered in a lovely dark blue duvet with yet another pile of frivolous decorative pillows. Even the kitchen counters had been redone: no longer polished concrete but shining black granite running with veins of blue. Jesus, he’d even ripped out all of my appliances, each and every piece now professional grade stainless steel and shining in the morning sunlight without even a fingerprint to mar their surfaces. A gourmet kitchen for the woman who never cooked. Typical Xander.

Heavy drapes accented my windows; gorgeous Impressionist art graced the walls. Vases of fresh dahlias, daisies, and mums adorned the kitchen table, the kitchen island, and the coffee table in the living room. No one knew I was coming home. Did he have someone on fresh flower patrol or some shit? My jaw hung slack as I took in my studio, once so cold and uninviting and now so…
homey
.

“’Bout time you came home.”

My heart jumped up into my fucking throat, and I spun around to find my favorite pain-in-the-ass planted in the entryway. One shoulder supported his body as he leaned against the elevator gate, filling the space with his large, muscular build. I’d forgotten how tall he was. And how eerily quiet he could be. An amused expression lit his face, one corner of his mouth curved into a lopsided grin. He was every bit laid back California surfer guy with his too long wavy blond hair and sparkling blue eyes. According to Xander, he’d assigned Asher to watch over me, and apparently, his duties hadn’t ended with Kade’s demise.

“Here to check on the flowers?” I teased.

“Here to check on you,” he replied. “Or rather, for you.”

My smile melted at the severity of his tone. The knot that had only recently begun to loosen tightened once again in my stomach, anxiety coursing through my veins like liquid fire. I wasn’t ready for this. I wasn’t prepared to face any of them. “How did you know I’d be here?” I asked as I dropped my gaze to the floor.

“I didn’t,” Asher said with a shrug. “He makes me come here. Every day. Sometimes twice a day.”

Can you say awkward? I’d left for
O Anel
with my life in shambles. Xander was only one of the shattered pieces that I was going to have to clean up now that I was home. “That’s pretty messed up, even for Xander.” I tried to laugh but it came out as more of a strangled snort. “I’m sorry you’ve had to waste your time for the past few months.”

“My king is very concerned for you, Darian.” I’d never heard Asher refer to Xander in such a formal manner. In fact, his very demeanor was less playful kid and more responsible adult. Quite the change for only six months’ time. “Whatever he commands me to do, I do. If that means camping out on your front steps for half a year, so be it.”

Xander—sneaky SOB that he was—planted Asher in the team I’d assembled to help protect Anya when Kade had threatened her. But what I didn’t know at the time was that it wasn’t Asher’s job to look after Anya at all. He’d been hand-picked by the Shaede King to look after me. Though I’d been angry with Xander over the deception, in hindsight, it hadn’t been a bad idea.

“So you just wander over a couple times a day, peek your head in, and shout, anybody home?”

“Pretty much.” He pushed himself off the jamb and walked in to the living room.

“And the flowers?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“Not my responsibility,” he said with a smile. “Maybe you should ask Raif?”

A pang of emotion tugged at my chest at the mention of my best friend’s name. Of all the things I’d left behind for my brief vacation, I missed him the most. “How is he?” Though I knew a reunion would be tough, I couldn’t wait to see him. In fact, Xander’s house was my next stop.

“Unflappable. As always,” Asher replied. “He doesn’t say it, but I think he misses you, too.”

“Too?” I let the word hang. Besides Xander and Raif, I wondered if anyone else had missed me. Maybe a certain overprotective Jinn…

“Yeah,” he said, mockingly. “I sort of missed you, too.”

A corner of my mouth lifted in a half-smile. Truth be told, I’d missed the little shit as well. And though I knew that he and Tyler didn’t exactly pal around or anything, I guess some part of me had wished that Ty had kept contact, checking in with Raif perhaps, in the hopes I’d been in touch with him. That maybe, Ash would have mentioned something about him, no matter how small.

“Have you seen any action lately? You know, besides your housesitting gig.” I’d come a long way in the past couple of years, but I’m not going to lie, emotions were still pretty tough for me. It was best to stick to light small talk.

“Nada. Well, that’s not exactly true,” Asher said as he settled himself down on the couch and propped his feet up on the coffee table. I had a feeling Xander would blow a gasket if he was standing here right now and I couldn’t help but smile at the thought. “There’s something coming down the pipes but I’m not high enough on the ladder to know what it is quite yet. An envoy arrived last week. Sent by his majesty’s regent. There have been a lot of closed door meetings.”

Just my luck that I’d decide to come home at the moment trouble began to brew. I’d never given Xander’s actual kingdom much consideration before. Of course I knew the heart of his kingdom was nowhere near Seattle, but I’d never asked where. And it served to reason that he’d appoint a regent to hold down the fort while he was away. “You think it’s something big?” I asked, taking a seat across from Asher in an overstuffed chair. Somehow, it made me feel better to pretend like it was business as usual, and I hadn’t just shown up from being scarce for half a year.

Asher cocked his head to the side as if considering the options. “With issues of a political nature, it could be anything,” he replied. “I mean it could be as minor as a burst pipe in the king’s palace, or as major as a coup.”

I doubted closed door meetings and so much secrecy were for the benefit of something like Xander’s plumbing. “It’s definitely not the pipes.”

“Probably not,” Asher said, fixing me with a stare. “Why don’t you go over there and find out what’s going on?”

Nothing like a little political intrigue to distract a girl from her problems. But there were still a few things I needed to do. When I’d left for
O Anel
, I’d said goodbye to Raif and even to Xander. I hadn’t seen Tyler since the night he’d killed Kade. And no matter how much I wanted to say hi to Raif, and maybe even nose around a little, I needed to see Ty first. “I’ve got a few things to knock off my to-do list, but after, I think I’ll see what’s up.”

“Who knows,” Asher mused, “maybe it’ll give us an excuse to get the gang back together.”

The gang he was referring to was the group of Shaedes I’d assembled to help me hunt down Kade. I wasn’t sure I was ready for something quite so hardcore, yet. “Maybe,” I said as I stood and headed for the elevator, “But to be honest, Ash, I hope I get a break before shit hits the fan again.”

“With you around?” Asher’s tone was incredulous as he followed me into the elevator. “Now that you’re back, Darian, shit is guaranteed to hit the fan.”

That’s what I was afraid of.

Chapter Two

Before Ash took off to do whatever it was Xander had laid out for him for the rest of the day, he convinced me to head to Xander’s before I did anything else. I agreed because I didn’t want any distractions when I came face to face with Tyler and if trouble was brewing in the Shaede kingdom, I’d need to get the low-down from Raif so I wouldn’t be too worried about him. I traveled from Belltown to Capitol Hill as my ethereal self, gliding over the streets with the fading rays of sun that cast swaths of light on the sidewalks. As sluggish as the encroaching afternoon, I couldn’t help but wish I owned at least a motorcycle right about now. My fatigue from leaving my body behind and traveling as one with the light had little to do with the fact that I hadn’t done so in a while. Simply put, I was plain
tired
.

Two weeks. Fourteen measly days. Three hundred and thirty six hours. Such an insubstantial amount of time compared to the century I’d lived, and yet… I felt older now than I ever had. I’d shut myself off from the world for a reason: no entanglements equaled zero chance of being hurt again. A cold-hearted bitch like me couldn’t be crushed when she kept everyone at arm’s length. But Tyler had managed to coax me out of my shell and taught me how beautiful and selfless love could be. Raif had reminded me of the power of true friendship. And Xander…well, the jury was still out on what I’d gleaned from my relationship with him.

Even Anya managed to teach me a thing or two about what it meant to love and be loved. And so I’d allowed them all to melt my icy exterior. But despite all of the warm fuzzy feelings, my entanglements had led to yet another hurt I’d been trying so hard to avoid. It reminded me of why I’d chosen a life of closed-off solitude. Would it really be so bad to curl up in a ball and sleep the rest of my life away?