I’d suspected that for a while. Ty’s energy rippled over me like tropical ocean waves. It didn’t scream power. “That night, when he came here to get me, what sort of vibe did he give off? You know, power-wise?”
Before I realized that Reaver and I played for the same team, Faolán had convinced me to steal from him the half of his hourglass that kept time in the mortal realm in order. Needless to say, he hadn’t been very happy about it and Moira had nearly taken my head off before Ty showed up to save the day.
“He is powerful, Darian,” Reaver answered. His gaze locked with mine. “Dangerously so. And his love for you makes that power volatile.”
We’re not meant to love the ones we protect.
Adira’s words flashed in my mind, drawing a curious expression from Reaver. I wasn’t going to justify his eavesdropping with an explanation, though. “Is there anything else you can tell me? Anything at all?” I was so tired of the cloak and dagger bullshit. Didn’t anyone outside of the Jinn population have any reliable intel?
“Darian, you truly have a knack for demanding more of the universe than it is willing to give. There are mysteries in this world. Questions that will never be answered. Your greatest flaw is your lack of faith.”
I had many,
many
flaws, but I’d never considered my lack of faith to climb to first place. It was easy for Reaver to preach about faith and trust. He’d probably never been lied to, deceived, kept in the dark for a century or so, without a single clue as to the scope of his existence.
His sad laughter hit a nerve that sent a jolt of pain through my gut. “Do you think the humans, wandering about their lives have a clue as to the scope of their existence? For that matter, do you think Brakae does? Or me? Or even your Jinn? You are not alone in your doubts and fears, and likewise, you cannot hope to achieve the level of control you yearn for. Let the misdeeds of the past go, Darian. Holding on is as futile as trying to capture the water in your palm that has already passed downstream.”
I’m sure we could’ve spent most of the day pulling back all of my dysfunctional layers. I wondered, did the supernatural community have therapists? Because I probably needed one. Reaver kept his trap shut on that particular thought and I bypassed talking about my shortcomings for the real reason I’d come here today.
Reaver cocked his head to the side, as though confused by my thoughts. Well, that was unsettling. I was hoping to find someone, anyone besides Tyler who could shed a little light on my ring.
“May I?” Reaver extended his hand.
I pushed myself from the chair and crossed the room to where Reaver was seated. “It doesn’t like to come off,” I said with a shrug. “Adira, another Jinn, called it
Nys’Asdar
. Have you ever heard of it?”
“I’ve lived for millennia, Darian, and I’ve never heard mention of such a thing. A Jinn relic, perhaps?”
“Your guess is as good as mine.”
“And you say that you can’t remove the ring?”
I held out my hand and Reaver inspected the simple silver band on my thumb without touching. “Well, not exactly. It’s hard to explain. It’s not that it won’t come of per se, it’s just that when I try to take it off, I…can’t.”
He gave me a look that indicated how helpful my explanation was. Reaver took my hand in his and he passed his thumb over the ring. One tawny brow arched curiously and he ran the pad of his thumb over the silver once again, this time lingering. “I sense a great deal of power in this ring, but this is no relic, Darian.”
“What do you think it is?”
“I do not know. I will tell you that I sense life within the metal. Living, breathing,
thriving
.”
“Alive?” The thought almost made me want to shake it from my thumb and throw it across the room. After today I was laying down the law: no one was allowed to give me strange or otherwise enchanted gifts ever again. “Is it like this?” I pulled one of the daggers from its sheath and held it out to Reaver, hilt first. He reached out and I pulled back just a bit. “Don’t touch it. It’s warded against anyone but me. It feels alive sometimes. Like it’s conveying emotion, urging me to fight or defend myself. And sometimes it gives me this mad burst of confidence and levels me up skill wise.”
Reaver pulled his hand back but didn’t seem as concerned about the dagger as he did my ring. “I know this dagger. It has a twin, no?”
“Yeah…”
“They’re nothing,” he said with a flick of his wrist. “Enchanted, yes. Helpful in battle, of course. But your daggers are not sentient, Darian. They merely project a reflection of your own will and emotions.”
I supposed that was good to know. I would have liked to know how Reaver came by his info but since he gave me a look that indicated that his lips were sealed, I didn’t bother giving voice to the thought.
“The Shaede King must hold you in high esteem to pass yet another of his forefather’s weapons to you. I would imagine his brother wept at such a loss.”
Another? I’d had a feeling that the daggers were a family heirloom, what with Xander and Raif referring to them as birthrights and all. But the only other weapon Xander had given me was… “Wait. Are you saying that my katana belonged to one of Xander’s forefathers too?”
Reaver merely flashed me an infuriatingly calm smile. Looked like I had more than Xander’s issue with Ty to discuss with his royal pain in the ass. “I wish I could be of more help to you Darian, but I will say this: Do not treat the power inherent in that ring lightly. I sense that you’ve yet to unlock even one of its many mysteries, and do not forget that whatever has been trapped in the silver might not be happy with you should it find its way out.”
Can you say ominous? A ripple of anxiety rolled in my stomach as I sheathed my dagger. The bounty of today’s visit hadn’t been quite as fruitful as I’d hoped, but I hadn’t come away empty handed, either. “Thanks for the warning, Reaver. I’ll be careful. And thanks for the information. I appreciate that you leveled with me.”
“One more thing, Darian. I would suggest keeping everything I’ve told you here today a secret. Of the very little I know about the Jinn, I do know that the Synod is not to be trifled with. Take care not to draw their attention.”
“Got it.” I’d already attracted the attention of a collector. I didn’t think I wanted to Synod on that bandwagon as well.
“Collector?” Reaver asked. Ugh! Stupid mind readers.
“It’s not important.” Yet. “A story for some other time.”
“Of course. My door is always open to you, guardian. But might I suggest sticking to a schedule the next time you choose to visit?”
Okay, so maybe I was every bit as bad as a vacuum cleaner salesman. “You got it, Reaver. See ya on the flip side.”
Chapter Twenty
Luckily, I didn’t have far to go to get to Xander’s house. That’s not to say that when I got to his front door, I wasn’t ready to tuck tail and go back the way I came. This was bound to be a very awkward, hostile, and uncomfortable conversation. A turning point between us that we might not bounce back from. A profound sense of loss settled on me as I turned the knob and stepped into the foyer. I did love Xander in my own dysfunctional way. And I considered him my family.
Right now, I didn’t have that many people in my life that I could spare to petty arguments and feuds.
I passed Raif on the way to Xander’s study. My friend didn’t utter a word as I passed, only gave me the saddest, most apologetic look I’d ever seen.
Shit
. Goddamned Xander and his heavy-handed, overzealous, entitled bullshit! Sensing the need for a little urgency, I picked up my pace, hoofing it for the Shade King’s study. The door was closed but I was past the point of pleasantries and barged right in, throwing the door open with a crack as it bounced off the opposite wall. Standing in front of his ornate desk was one very pregnant, very shocked looking Anya.
When I’d left this plane for the Faerie Realm, Anya’s pregnancy hadn’t even begun to show. What a difference six months made… And though she looked like she was sporting a large watermelon under the flowing linen of her billowing shirt, I couldn’t deny that she was absolutely radiant.
“Darian, have you lost your mind? You can’t just walk in on the king like this.” Time might have shown a change in her body, softening her strong, lithe form, but a prickle of the animosity between us gave her one sharp edge. She was entitled to it, though. I’d failed to keep her husband alive. I would bear the brunt of whatever she wanted to throw at me for as long as she needed to.
“I have to talk to Xander.” Just because I was turning the other cheek didn’t mean I was backing down, though. “And unless you want a front row seat to one hell of a tiff, Anya, I’d suggest you leave.”
Anya deferred to Xander who said, “You may go. I’ll leave the matter we discussed in your hands.”
She bowed her head. “It will be done, my liege.”
And though I knew she was still angry with me, blamed me for things that were out of my control, even Anya looked at me with pity as she left Xander’s office.
My stomach bottomed out and hit my heels like a boulder dropped from a thousand feet. “Would you care to explain why everyone is looking at me like I’ll be attending a funeral soon?”
I was met by the same cold hurt I’d seen in Xander’s eyes last night. The vengeful gleam that hinted of a coming storm. “Is there something I can do for you, Darian? I really am busy this afternoon and—”
“Stop!” The word burst from my lips. “Just stop this. I don’t know what you want from me, Xander. But I can tell you that hurting Tyler isn’t going to do anything for our relationship.”
His eyes narrowed and I took a step back. I’d never felt threatened by Xander. His cocky demeanor had always been playful and even when I managed to piss him off I knew he took it in stride. He pushed out his chair and stood, palms flat on the surface of the desk, his powerful arms bracing him. “Close the door.”
Did I really want to be shut up in a room with an angry Xander? Probably not. But I decided that the last thing I needed was to make him angrier than he already was, so I crossed the room and quietly closed the door. Besides, if he got too rowdy, I was pretty sure Raif would come to my rescue.
At least, I hoped.
“There are days, Darian,” he said on a sigh, “where I believe that you will be my undoing.” I swallowed down the lump that had risen in my throat as my stomach turned and twisted in on itself. “I told you on the night that we sent Dimitri’s soul into the shadows that I could not be perceived as unable to rule. That my detractors would scent blood in the water and exploit any weakness without a moment’s hesitation. Do you remember?”
Of course I did. To my perception, the conversation had taken place mere weeks ago. I remembered thinking that I had all the time in the world to change Xander’s mind. That once I took down Kade, I’d be able to temper his rage and need to make Tyler pay. Boy, was I ever wrong. “I would never ask you to do anything that would jeopardize your kingdom, Xander. Justice is one thing. Punishment, another. I saw it in Raif’s eyes when I walked through your door. Anya’s when she walked past me a moment ago. You’re not planning to bring Tyler to justice. You want to punish him.”
He didn’t confirm my suspicions, simply clamped his jaw down stubbornly.
“Can you please, for one second, consider how hard this situation is on me? What happened between us was—”
Xander rounded his desk in a flash of motion, appearing before me as though from thin air. “A mistake? Unfortunate?
Wrong
?” His voice was strained, choked with emotion. “Please, do enlighten me, Darian.”
“It was wonderful,” I said through the thickness in my own throat. “You gave me comfort, you made me feel loved, and I’m grateful for that connection that we shared in a time when I needed it.”
His gaze tore through me, cutting a bloody swath in its wake. “Then why deny us?”
This was so much harder than I thought it would be. I strained under the immense pressure, barely able to keep upright from the weight. Over the decades, by slow degrees, I’d starved my emotions. The part of me that felt anything shriveled until there was nothing left but apathy and hollow detachment. But silly me, I’d allowed Tyler and Raif, Xander and even Anya, Brakae, Asher, and countless others to nourish what I’d starved and now the hurt was almost too much for me to bear.
“I love you Xander.” His expression changed, almost hopeful. “But I’m
in love
with Tyler.”
“I’m sorry, Darian.” Xander’s voice was a low rumble, like thunder in the distance. “I cannot be swayed on this matter. Too much is at stake.”
“If you do this, if you have Tyler taken into custody, you’ll leave me unprotected.” Of course, my protection was the least of my worries at this point. I hoped to appeal to his softer side, the one that cared about what happened to me. “Is that what you want?”
“I will protect you.” The words rang with the finality of a proclamation. It brooked no argument.
Stubborn ass! “Do you want me to beg?” Because at this point, I was ready to drop to my knees. “You can save face without going to any extremes.”
Xander let out a derisive snort. “We’ve become too soft in this modern age. Had an assault on my person occurred even a century ago, Raif would have taken your Jinn’s head from his shoulders before he could land a second blow. I refuse to tolerate any further disrespect and his very existence is an affront to me.”
“Careful, Xander.” My tone hardened to stone. “Your ego is beginning to show.”
“I am a high king, Darian. Perhaps it is time that you acknowledged that.”
Mother eff!
There was no talking to him. Not while he was still so angry and hell-bent on retribution. “Then you might as well punish me, too.”
He expelled a chuff of breath as though the notion was ridiculous.
“Come on, Xander. Don’t you want to make me pay for playing with your emotions? For making you think that there might be something between us only to have the rug pulled out from under you? Don’t you want to hurt me? To show the world that
no one
, especially some lowly creature who isn’t even a Shaede by birthright, fucks with the great and mighty Alexander Peck?”