A Different Shade of Violet? (14 page)

“I’m fine, I’m not in any danger. I’ll come back in one piece and then maybe we can have a talk when I get back. I think there're things that need to be said, but I can’t talk right now, I’m working, so I’ll call you when I get back?” he tells her quietly as he walks out the front door.

I huff and fold my arms across my chest.

There're things that need to be said?

What things?

Is he thinking of going back to her?

She obviously cares about him and I think from what he was saying he wants to talk them over with her, try and work something out between them. I obviously don’t mean anything to him anymore and the near kiss was just a moment’s weakness. He just felt sorry for me because I’d told him my story.

This is so fucked!

I stand from the chair and make my way toward the bathroom. I’m angry. At myself and at Hudson, but mainly at Cassie for ruining a good moment. But if he’s thinking of going back to her then maybe it’s a good thing that we didn’t kiss. I mean that would just make things awkward, and I know I don’t want to feel awkward around him anymore. I’m sick of walking on eggshells and hoping that things will work out. I know that turning on the Dogs was a bad move. I know this whole situation doesn’t end well for me. So I may as well let Hudson move on with Cassie, he deserves to be happy and maybe she can do a better job of that than I ever could.
I only seem to bring misery wherever I go, so what’s the point?

I get to the basin and turn on the tap, it squeals and shudders slightly and then the water squirts out in a rush. I shake my head and place my hands underneath to splash my face trying to cool my temper. I hate feeling angry. It’s a useless emotion. It doesn’t get you anywhere and it doesn’t solve anything, so why bother feeling it?

Because Cassie’s a bitch that’s why!

I chuckle to myself and shake my head drying my face with a towel. I huff and look in the mirror. My left eyebrow and forehead are bruised and covered in bandaging, which is now wet, and the rest of my face is bruised, but it has more of a fading yellowish tinge to it, rather than the nasty blue colour which is a good thing. The cuts to my lips are healing and only hurt if I yawn.

“Vee?” I hear Hudson call out.

I huff and roll my eyes and walk out of the bathroom. “I’m here,” I say quietly, and as I walk back I notice him looking around frantically. His body slumps like he’s relieved and he rushes over, taking me into an embrace. I stand against him with my body flush against his as he caresses the back of my head with one hand and holds me to him with another. “Jesus Christ, you weren’t here and I couldn’t see you anywhere. I freaked out. I’m sorry, are you all right?” he asks leaning back and assessing me.

I nod. I’m a little taken aback by his current behavior.

“Thank God, I thought… I thought you’d ran away again or the fucking Dogs had you when I couldn’t find you,” he says as he pulls me back to him.

“I’m fine, Hudson. I was just washing my face.”

He lets the embrace loosen and holds me at arm’s length. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if they got you, Vee.”

“I thought you said they wouldn’t find us out here? If that’s true, then why were you so worried?”

“Sometimes you’re too smart for your own good you know that?” he says quietly.

“So there is a chance they can find us?” I ask suddenly feeling more on edge which helps to dissipate my anger.

He exhales and runs his hand through his hair. “I guess there’s always a chance. But Vee, I promise, we have all the protective measures in place to make sure it doesn’t happen. Please don’t worry about it. I won’t let anything happen to you,” he says looking right into my eyes.

“Would you let anything happen to Cassie?” I ask stupidly my jealousy surfacing.

He furrows his brows and frowns. “What does that even mean?”

“Nothing, never mind,” I say and go to walk past him.

He grabs my arm and turns me around to face him. “No Vee, I wouldn’t let anything happen to Cassie. Is there something I should know about?”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant… I don’t know what I meant. Don’t worry about it.”

“I wouldn’t let anything happen to anyone, Vee. Not just you and Cassie. It’s my job. I’m a protector… I protect people, I don’t know what you’re playing at?”

“Nothing, it’s fine, don’t worry,” I reiterate and he huffs and folds his arms over his chest.

“Is this some jealousy thing you have going on right now?”

I scoff and look at him like he’s being ridiculous. “What? No, of course, not,” I spit back at him.

He smirks and puts his hands on his hips. “It is, you’re jealous!”

I shake my head and roll my eyes. “Why would I be jealous, Hudson? You don’t belong to me, you can talk to whoever you want.”

“Violet’s jealous,” he chants like a school kid.

“Shut up, I am not,” I berate back at him.

“Just admit it, you hate that Cassie called me.”

“Why should I admit to anything? I don’t give a shit who you want to date, or fuck or whatever,” I say moving around to the sofa and sitting down on it with a huff.

He laughs and walks over sitting down next to me.

“You’re so jealous,” he says with a big old goofy grin on his face.

I can’t contain my smile at his goofy face so I push his shoulder.

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Are two, dee two,” I reply making us both laugh.

“When did we get on the set of ‘Star Wars’?”

“I don’t know, just don’t bring up Cassie again okay, she makes me angry.”

He stops laughing and faces me on the sofa. “Okay, I won’t bring her up - I promise,” he says leaning back and placing his arm behind me. I lean back into his side and he turns on the television with the remote.

“Right, let’s forget about all the bullshit and watch ‘Family Guy,’” Hudson says and I look up at him and nod. He turns up the volume and we sit and watch television for the rest of the afternoon.

We’ve had dinner and are sitting back on the sofa watching the late night news. I yawn, then open and close my eyes a few times.

“Why don’t you go to bed? It’s been a long and eventful day.”

I nod and stand up walking over and get into the bed. I watch him trying to make himself comfy on the sofa, but he keeps moving like he’s uncomfortable.

“Is the sofa comfortable?” I ask and he chuckles.

“It’s not the most comfortable thing I’ve ever slept on. Definitely nothing like my bed at home.”

I swallow the lump that’s formed in my throat. With the news that Mad Dog could actually find us and the jealousy of today, mixed with the emotions of telling my story I actually wouldn’t mind some company.

“You can sleep in the bed with me if you like? We don’t have to cuddle or anything, but if you want to you’re welcome. It would be more comfortable for you…” I say and he looks over at me. His eyes are darting all over the place like he’s thinking hard about what to do.

“I, ah… think I better stay here. Keep my mind on the job, you know?” he says breaking my heart just a little more. I nod and rest my head against the pillow. I hear him exhale and then shuffle back into another position on the uncomfortable sofa. Just when things seem to be going okay, they go and get awkward again. I close my eyes and sleep soon follows.

I feel the bed shift behind me and I already know who it is. I can tell by his smell. His hand wraps around my waist and comes up to grab my boob. I can feel the sparks shooting through me as the closeness of his body against mine is setting me on fire. The chemistry is through the roof as I snuggle into his front with my back. It feels so good to have him in bed with me again. I knew the sofa would get too uncomfortable for him to resist coming into the bed with me.

“I’ve missed you so much, Vee,” he whispers in my ear and then bites my earlobe, sending a shockwave straight from my ear down to my now throbbing clit.

“I love you so much it hurts, Hudson,” I reply as his hand on my breast massages gently.

“Turn over,” he demands and I do as he says.

I roll over in his grasp and face him. Our lips only millimeters apart. I see him swallow and I know he’s as nervous about this as I am. Our last kiss attempt failed miserably, but I don’t want to think about that now. All I want to think about is the man that I love is now holding me in bed with no one here but us. He runs his hand over my cheek and then places a strand of hair behind my ear. I nuzzle into his open palm and savour the feeling of him touching me.

“I’ve missed this,” I whisper and he nods and smiles.

“Me too, I don’t even know why I was fighting it for so long. I love you, Vee, I always have,” he says and then his lips are on mine sending a shock wave of ecstasy straight through me to my core. I open my mouth to let his tongue enter and it’s like we’ve never been apart. He rolls me onto my back and then leans over me kissing me passionately and desperately. It almost feels like our first kiss and I love every second of it. My hands run up his bare naked back while I feel every muscle clench at my touch. His chest is pressed against mine and I would do anything to be out of these pajamas right now. And as if to read my mind he pulls back slightly, but with our lips still touching and starts to undo my buttons. He rushes fast trying to undo them one by one, but fails miserably so he rips it open leaving me topless as he pulls it from me and throws it to the floor. He breaks our kiss and looks down at my exposed breasts. Smiling brightly he leans down and takes a nipple into his mouth, sucking hard. I gasp at the feeling and close my eyes running my fingers through his short hair. He moves down in the bed kissing his way down my chest and stomach to make his way to my panty line. He stops and pulls my pants and panties down and off at the same time, leaving me lying naked for him.

“You’re even more beautiful now than when I last saw you naked,” he says leaning down and kissing his way up my leg, past my stomach and chest and back to my waiting lips.

His hand slowly grazes down the middle of my body and in between my legs. He’s not wasting any time and I’m totally fine with that. He cups my pussy and I gasp at the feeling of his warm hand on me. He positions his finger at my clit and I arch my back when he presses on it firmly. He kisses me so strongly that I start to pant with want. I need him as he circles on my clit and starts to work me up to that unmistakable high. His tongue collides with mine while he works me higher and higher.

“Fuck! I love you. I’m sorry… I can’t wait to have you, Vee,” he murmurs against my lips and then takes his hand from between my legs and moves his entire body on top of mine. I hadn’t noticed, but he’s completely naked already and his rock hard cock is standing at attention and waiting at my pussy. He lowers himself onto me completely as our lips connect again. I’m desperate to have him inside of me so I thrust my hips forward as I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him closer so that the tip of his cock slides inside me. We both gasp at the feeling and I whimper at the thought of being connected to Hudson again.

“I love you, Vee, and I can’t wait to savour you,” he says leaning in kissing me and thrusting in fully making me gasp.

Ring ring.

My eyes shoot open… I open and close them a few times to get my bearings.

“Detective Stone,” I hear Hudson say as I sit up in the bed and realise my clit is throbbing between my legs and my panties are soaked as I shuffle around in bed feeling very uncomfortable.

Holy Shit! I was dreaming…

I exhale and look over at Hudson, who’s on the phone walking around shirtless. I realise it’s morning, the sun is shining brightly through the window. I close my eyes and fall back to the bed shaking my head at my dream, but even more at the reaction my body has to Hudson, a man I can never have.

It’s day three of protective custody and things with Hudson are weird. One minute we are back to our old selves and the next we’re fighting or there’s some awkward sexual chemistry happening.

I can’t keep up!

After my dream this morning, I must admit I have been trying to avoid him, which has been easy seeing as he’s been on the phone for most of the time. I think he’s getting progress reports and such. I try not to listen in as it just makes me anxious. I did notice that one phone call was to his father, Bill. He was checking up on the family to make sure they were doing okay, which I thought was sweet, plus checking on Midas. I know he misses him, hell I miss him. I even miss Spider and Rock the googly-eyed goldfish. But I’m sure I’ll see them again when I go and say my final goodbye to Hudson and his house. I must admit I am
not
looking forward to that day!

Hudson walks back in from the porch and looks at me with a smile.

“Hey, you’re really quiet today, everything okay?”

“I’m fine, just letting you make your calls,” I say as he moves in front of me and looks down assessing me.

“What’s wrong? I know you and I know something’s up, and remember no more lying.”

“Whose stupid idea was that?”

“I think the no lying thing was your idea, Vee,” he chuckles.

“Right, yeah, stupid idea.”

“Talk to me. What’s on your mind? And why are you avoiding me?”

“Do you really want to know?”

He furrows his brows and purses his lips. “Now I’m not sure. Is something bad happening Vee, you’re worrying me now.”

“No, nothing bad, just more embarrassing.”

He smiles and his eyes glisten. “Now I really want to know.”

“Okay, fine, but it will just make things awkward.”

He exhales and nods. “Full disclosure, Vee,” he murmurs.

I roll my eyes and take a deep breath. “Okay fine, I had a sex dream about you. There are you happy now?” I ask and walk straight past him toward the sofa.

He chuckles and walks behind me. “Actually yeah I am, that’s awesome. Your subconscious still wants me.”

“I don’t want you, Hudson. What’s the point when I can’t have you?”

He pauses making me look back at him. “You’re right there’s no point, but I’ll let you in on a little secret,” he whispers gaining my attention.

“What?” I say sounding defeated.

“I have sex dreams about you all the time. I mean, you gotta admit our sex was hot. So I think it’s fine for us to dream about each other. It gives us a little fix to tide us over.”

I look at him like he’s crazy. “Seriously? How the fuck am I meant to get over you if I keep dreaming about you?”

“Maybe you’ll never get over me, just like I will probably never get over you, Vee,” he says his face falling like he’s deadly serious.

“Then why the fuck are we doing this? Having this stupid dance of I love you, but I won’t be with you? If you’ll never get over me, then don’t! Just be with me, Hudson. We both want it, so why fight it?”

“It’s not that simple and you know it, Vee. Why do this again?”

“Fine, whatever, just don’t talk to me anymore. You make my life hard, so just avoid me from now on. I’ll avoid you and when this is over we’ll go our separate ways, okay?” I yell and he shakes his head and huffs.

“Vee, we’re living in a tiny arse cabin. We can’t avoid each other, it’s not possible. Let’s just take this one day at a time—”

“We’re not alcoholics, Hudson. We don’t need a twelve-step program to rid ourselves of each other. Just leave me alone, I can’t do this anymore,” I say and turn my back to him sitting on the sofa.

“What happened to the Violet that I know? This woman you’ve become is giving up, where’s that fighter spirit I love?”

“Why the fuck should I fight? What is there to fight for, huh? Us? There is no
us,
you’ve made that abundantly clear, and to be honest you’re such a pansy arse bitch these days getting all mixed up in your emotions, I don’t even want you back.”

Hudson chuckles. “There she is, there’s my little firecracker.”

“Don’t call me that,” I demand and he walks over and sits on the coffee table in front of me.

“Or what? What are you going to do about it little firecracker?”

I raise my eyebrow at him and cross my arms over my chest.

“I’ll punch you right in the guts,” I say and he smiles opening his arms wide giving me access to his stomach.

“Don’t tempt me Hudson,” I whisper.

He smiles again, which only aggravates me more.

“Stop smiling you fuck head, are you trying to make me hate you?”

He frowns and shakes his head. “No Vee, I don’t want you to hate me, but I know you’re angry at me and you have some pent up rage in there that you need to get out. So yell at me, punch me, do anything you need to make you feel better.”

“You really want me to punch you?”

“Yes, I want you to punch me,” he reiterates.

“I will, I’ll do it. I’m serious Hudson, don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”

He stands up and opens his arms again. “Do it, you need to, Vee.” I look at him furrowing my eyebrows at him. “Do it,” he demands.

I stand up and huff. “You really want me to go through with this?”

“Just fucking punch me Vee,” he yells shocking me.

I scrunch my face and tighten my fist. “Fine, but you asked for it,” I say and I thrust my arm forward punching him right in the gut with as much force as I can muster.

He hunches over and moans holding onto his stomach. He coughs and I instantly feel bad for letting him talk me into this madness. I rub his back as he hunches over.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” I say as I lean down to comfort him.

“You punch like a girl,” he murmurs and then laughs.

I shake my head as he straightens up and huffs holding onto his stomach.

“You’re an idiot why’d you let me do that?”

“Because we both needed it,” he says and leans in kissing my forehead.

This is so weird, it’s only been three days, surely we can’t be getting cabin fever already?

“You’re a freak!” I say and he chuckles and moves to sit on the sofa. I sit down next to him and he wraps his arm around my shoulders pulling me to him.

“You always said I was a freak because of my eyes, not my crazy ideas.”

I look at him and shake my head. “Wel
l,
now I
really
think you’re a freak, but thank you, it was kinda therapeutic. I don’t seem to hate you as much right now.”

“See we needed to get that out of the way. Now we can just get back to being awkward. Speaking of awkward, make me some dinner wench,” he jokes and I open my eyes wide at him and scoff.

“Wench?” I ask and he smiles. “Do you want me to punch you again?” I say and he smirks.

“You can try all you like, but you only get one for free, the next one comes at a cost,” he says and I raise an eyebrow.

“Oh really? And what would that cost be?”

“I dunno, maybe like fifteen dollars or something?” he says and I roll my eyes.

“Fifteen dollars?” I scoff. “There you go being all original again, I was thinking something more dramatic than actual money. You’re so boring sometimes, Hudson.”

“I’m not boring, I’m a cop that’s hell exciting.”

“Whatever, you’re boring, just admit it.”

“I’m the most exciting guy in this whole cabin,” he jokes.

“Hudson, you’re the only guy in this cabin!”

“Exactly!” he says and I lean into him and slap his chest. “Oh, so more violence hey, Miss. Dyson? Well, I’ll show you who’s the boss around here!” he says and then he quickly pins my arms above my head and pushes my back to the sofa and he’s lying on top of me restraining me so I can’t move. I squeal slightly and I playfully fight against him. We’re both laughing and mucking around.

“Surrender,” he says, making me laugh.

“Never!” I reply.

We both laugh and our eyes meet and suddenly I stop struggling as his piercing multi-coloured eyes look deeply into mine. I start to breathe quicker and I notice he is too. He’s lying on top of me, pinning me down, and staring straight into my eyes. The feeling of his body on top of mine is making my panties wet, and my clit is definitely starting to throb. His lips part and his tongue comes out slightly licking his lips. He probably didn’t even know he was doing it. But seeing his moist lips makes me want to kiss him so badly right now.

“Hudson,” I whisper.

“Shh, I just want to look at you,” he replies quietly, our breathing rushed and harsh. He lets one of my arms go and I move my hand to caress his cheek. He closes his eyes and exhales at my touch. The electricity is making my hairs stand on end and I can’t stop myself from wrapping my leg around his waist. He opens his eyes and licks his lips again as he nuzzles into my palm against his cheek. He’s breathing out of his nose rapidly like he’s trying to fight the pull we’re both feeling right now. His lips are so close to mine.

“Oh, fuck it,” he whispers and then his lips are on mine kissing me softly. My heart is racing so fast, I’m sure he can feel it against his chest as I open my mouth and let his tongue slide in effortlessly.

He’s kissing me.

He’s actually kissing me and this
isn’t
a dream.

I run my hand through his hair and hold him to me as his tongue dances with mine. I open my eyes to make sure I’m not dreaming and his eyes are scrunched tight like he’s in pain. But I don’t take any notice of the pained look and I continue to kiss him. The throbbing in my clit is almost unbearable as I tighten my leg around his waist. He groans and then I feel his cock hardening against me and I can’t help but smile against his lips. It’s like a million fireworks are exploding inside me at the joy I’m feeling. He groans again, but this time it’s not an excited groan but a pained one. He slowly backs away from me taking his lips from mine and I open my eyes to see him shaking his head.

“Fuck,” he says and suddenly he lifts himself off me and stands up next to the sofa leaving me feeling a little lost and a lot bereft. I look at him as he starts to pace the lounge room forcing his fingers through his hair.

“What’s wrong?” I ask as I sit up on the sofa.

“Why is it so damn hard to stop loving you?” he says quietly and walks toward the front door.

I sit here confused as I watch him walk out the front door and then he slams it shut behind him making me jump at the loud sound. I stay seated on the sofa not knowing what to do.

Should I follow him?
Or should I just let him walk it off. I understand how he’s feeling, I’m confused too. We have this undeniable chemistry that keeps drawing us to each other and yet we know we’re not going to end up together. So we need to fight it, because if I don’t start fighting my feelings for Hudson, when this does all come to an end, it will be like losing him all over again and I need to save myself from that.

I’m sad right now because maybe that
will
be the last kiss Hudson and I will ever share?
Maybe that was our goodbye?

I decide I can’t just sit here and wait for him to come back, he’s hurting, I’m hurting. We need to sort this out. I stand up and slip on my thongs and walk out the front door. I was expecting to see him on the swing seat, but he isn’t there. I proceed around to the front yard looking for him, but he’s nowhere to be seen. I huff and walk around the side of the house and notice a small hill, and at the bottom of the small hill I spot a creek and what I think I is a figure standing there. I huff and start to walk toward him. I can see his outline, it’s definitely Hudson. I walk in silence for a couple of minutes until I’m close enough to call out to him.

“Hudson?”

He turns to face me and his face contorts with rage as he throws his hands up in the air in frustration. “What the fucking fuck, Violet? You’re not supposed to leave the cabin. You’re in protective custody for fuck’s sake. You
know
you’re not supposed to leave the cabin. It’s fucking dangerous out here. Turn around and go back inside right fucking now!” he yells storming toward me.