A Different Shade of Violet? (16 page)

“Fuck you Cassie, you don’t know me. Don’t you even pretend to! Yes, my past is jaded but sometimes love
is
enough, and I can assure you if he doesn’t end up with me, he sure as hell won’t go back to a weak, insignificant, vapid little bitch like you,” I say and hang up the phone with a grunt. I huff in frustration and throw the mobile hard into the sofa.

“Stupid fucking slut,” I murmur and then go and sit on the edge of the bed as her words play on my mind. And even though I don’t want to believe it, I know she’s right. Any chance for me and Hudson ended when he walked into Cupiditas and found out what I am. So what’s the point? What the hell is the point of me being here? I’m dead anyway, and Hudson staying here with me is
not
going to change that fact. I know he loves me, but it really isn’t enough if you aren’t attracted anymore. That’s a real problem! And I know he might be attracted to me, but his visions of me with other men are too overpowering and it turns him off. I just witnessed it firsthand. So, even though I was arguing with Cassie out of spite, I know that she is one hundred percent correct and that Hudson and I are just never going to work.

I make the decision to make it easier on everyone. If I just take myself out of the equation, Hudson can move on. Mad Dog can get his little fix and do whatever he wants to me and I can finally be at peace and see my husband and son again. This is the best and only solution. I stand up from the edge of the bed and look over to the bathroom to make sure Hudson is still in there. I listen and I can hear the water running so I quickly put on some shoes and a jacket over my pajamas and I head straight for the front door.

I didn’t think giving up would be this easy, but I have nothing left to fight for. Hudson proved that when he stopped our steamy session. I open the front door and look back just to double check he isn’t coming. I step outside leaving the front door open. I wrap my arms around myself to try and keep warm. It’s freezing, but I don’t really care. I feel quite numb right now. I am walking to my own demise so I guess I could either be scared or just be at peace with it. I choose the latter. I start to walk toward the forest. I know there will be cops at the front entrance, so if I walk through the brush I should be able to avoid them. Even though the thought of spiders is not very appealing right now, but I’ll take my chances.

I walk into the brush and start to pull the branches out of the way as I walk. It’s pitch black and I can hardly see, but my eyes are slowly adjusting to the darkness. I sniff as the more steps I take the further and further I distance myself from Hudson, not only in actual distance, but in my heart as well. I need to let him go because I know he’s slowly letting me go. The pain in my chest right now is making it hard to breathe. Knowing he doesn’t want me is harder to take than the thought of my own death, which I know will come by daylight, when the Dogs find me. I’m sure they’re looking and as soon as I can make my way to a street and hitch a ride, I’m going to go straight to the car park at work and I’ll sit and wait. Hopefully, I can get there before Hudson works out what I’m doing.

I push past the thickening brush and I honestly have no idea if I’m going in the right direction, but I feel so empty that even the thought of dying out here in the forest is kind of appealing. Being one with nature doesn’t sound so bad.

I move through the thick forest and I’m starting to shake from the cold. I wish I’d put some better clothing on rather than just a jacket over my PJ’s. But it is all I have, so I continue to walk. I push past a big tree and my jacket snags on a broken twig and I get caught. I huff and try to free myself from the tree’s grip, but it’s really stuck on there and I can’t see properly. I yank hard and it comes free so forcefully that I fall backward and land straight on my arse hitting my head on the tree truck behind me.

“Ouch fuck!” I moan quietly. I rub the back of my head and stand back up with a huff. “Stupid fucking tree!” I moan and lean up and break the branch that snagged me. “Take that you twiggy bitch,” I say and throw the twig ahead of me. It makes cracking sounds as it hits the other trees ahead of me. I exhale and nod my head like I’ve done myself proud and then I continue to walk through the brush until I can see a faint light up ahead.

I wonder briefly if Hudson has noticed that I have left yet? I’m pretty sure I’ve been out here for at least a quarter of an hour. He should know by now, but I haven’t heard anything. I keep walking toward the light, pushing twigs and leaves out of my way as I walk.

I come to a small embankment and I realise up the top is the road. I let out a relieved sigh and start to climb up a small steep incline. The gravel under my shoes is making it a little hard to climb up, but with the help of some branches from a nearby tree I’m able to pull myself up to the road. A single street lamp lights the road ahead of me and I smile knowing I’ve reached it. I look down the road and can vaguely make out a car sitting at the edge of a driveway, but it’s so far off in the distance I know they won’t see me.

I turn and walk on the side of the road away from the cop car and back toward town. The crunch of the dirt under my shoes sounds deafening in the deathly quiet of the early morning. It’s got to be close to 2:30 a.m. by now and there’s no noise except for the annoying persistence of the crickets chirping. I look over my shoulder as I glance toward the entrance of the cabin, I can’t even see it now as it’s too far away in the distance.

I’m walking quite fast. I have no idea how long I’ve got before Hudson calls out a search party for me. I’m hoping a car will drive past before they find me. Each step I take, another piece of my heart shatters and then splinters and freezes over, making it so I don’t have to feel anymore.

The Violet Widow is almost back!

She was here for a while, but being with Hudson forced her to disappear and Violet the desperate and weak had returned. Well, The Violet Widow is definitely coming back with a vengeance now, and with each step the anger and resentment that she harbours is slowly seeping back in.

The air is freezing and the wind’s picking up. A flash of lightning flickers across the night sky making me jump at the sudden show of electricity through the black clouds. I hadn’t noticed when I left the cabin, but the sky is dark and dreary and as I look up at the sky the thunder from the lightning bellows across the hills and I shudder at the thought that I’m heading toward a lightning storm. I glance up again and a raindrop falls straight on my forehead. I flinch from the impact and then wipe the water from my face.

“Great,” I murmur as another drop hits, then another, followed by another flash of lightning.

“For fuck’s sake,” I say as I pull the hood up from my jacket to cover my head as the rain suddenly starts to fall dramatically down to the dirt forming a muddy pathway for me to traverse. A loud clap of thunder roars above my head and I bring my arms up around my chest and huddle into myself trying to get some warmth in the now freezing cold, rainy winter’s morning.

The rain is falling so heavily and I must admit, while the thought of Mad Dog and his cronies killing me doesn’t scare me, the thought of being struck by lightning doesn’t rate too highly on my ‘to do’ list. I pull the hood over my head a little more to stop the rain from hitting my face when I suddenly see two headlights approaching me.

I smile. I actually smile!

I walk closer to the road so they’ll see me but not close enough so they’ll run me down. As they get closer, I start to wave my arms around frantically trying to gain their attention. To be honest if they were any sort of sane person they wouldn’t pick up a hitchhiker in the middle of nowhere in the peak of darkness, that’s just asking to be murdered. So in a way I hope these are some hippies or something willing to pick up a cold and wet stranger on the side of the road.

The car starts to slow down and I smile again.

“Thank God,” I whisper and I run toward the car as it stops fully.

The front passenger door opens and I rush to it, bending down I see two big burly men. One has tattoos all the way down his arm, and I find it weird that in the start of winter he’s wearing only a T-shirt. But I can feel the heat from the car’s heater flowing out of the car and across my face.

“What are you doing out here in the freezing cold rain miss?” the driver asks leaning over the passenger who’s assessing me.

“Went for a walk and got lost. Think you could give a girl a ride?”

The passenger looks me up and down with a frown. “Are you in your pajamas? And what happened to your face? Your boyfriend beat you up or something?” he asks as the rain continues to pummel me.

“Yes, and no,” I reply, choosing not to share more about that subject. “Can I get a ride or not?” I ask and the passenger looks at the driver and nods.

“Okay, jump in.”

I move to the back and open the door scurrying quickly into the warmth and dryness of their car. It’s a really nice car actually.

“Thank you so much. Who knows how long I would’ve been stuck in the rain for if you hadn’t shown up,” I say while shutting the door.

“No worries, miss. Just glad to help you find your way,” the driver says looking back at me and then to his shady passenger who’s nodding slightly. I have no idea what that’s about, but I choose to ignore it.

“We just have to stop off at a mate’s place on our way back into town. You mind?” the passenger asks and I start to get a little nervous.

“Sure,” I say and place my seat belt over my body.

The driver starts to drive and I notice we’re heading back toward the cabin. I shuffle down in my seat so when we drive past they won’t see me. The tension in the car is palpable and I feel completely awkward.

“So what are you guys doing out here in the middle of the night?” I ask as we approach the cabin. I sink down a little further.

“Well, like I said we’re heading out to see a mate,” the passenger replies.

I furrow my brows and purse my lips. “Bit late to be seeing someone isn’t it?”

“Part of the job,” the driver says and I instantly tense up.

“Job?” I ask hesitantly.

Maybe Mad Dog’s guys knew where I was all along and now these guys are taking me to him.

“You’ll see,” the passenger replies turning around to look at me. I hear a crack and a buzz like a radio is being turned on.

“Eagle two to eagle one. Bird is in the nest. Over,” the passenger says into a CB radio that I hadn’t noticed was in the car.

“Copy that eagle two. Eagle one and watch dog are sitting in wait. Over,” the deep male voice replies over the radio.

“ETA, two minutes eagle one. Over,” the passenger says and I furrow my brows.

What the fuck?

“Received. Over and out,” the voice replies.

My heart starts to race and my breathing quickens. Who the fuck is watch dog? Sounds like Mad Dog is waiting for me.

“On second thought guys, it’s fine for you to let me out here. I remember where I am now and it’s not far from here,” I say.

The passenger looks back at me and chuckles. “Little bird, you’re not going anywhere,” he says and I start to tense up. I swallow hard as I look around the car for something. It’s funny how when faced with your own mortality even if you thought you were fine with it, you really aren’t. I don’t know what else I can do other than to distract the driver and make him pull over. So I do the only thing I can think of.

I scream loudly and they both turn back suddenly to look at me. I lean forward and punch the passenger in the side of his face.

“Fuck,” the driver says as he swerves.

“Get off me,” the passenger shouts while I continue to slap at him and scream like a complete crazy woman.

“Duke, hurry the fuck up,” the passenger yells as I climb into the front and straddle him slapping him repeatedly in quick succession.

“Fuck woman, are you crazy?” he yells as the driver keeps driving. He pulls a hard left forcing me to slam my head into the window.

“Ouch,” I scream out as I stop slapping the man and rush my hand to my head to check if it’s bleeding. The passenger quickly grabs my hands and holds them tightly around my wrists. I struggle against him and scream in his face. His eyes are open wide like he can’t believe what’s happening to him. All I know is my tantrum isn’t working because we’re still driving, and now that I have my back to the windscreen I have no idea where we are.

“Fuck you, you scum dog,” I say and I spit in his face.

“Fuck woman, calm the fuck down,” he yells back at me.

I struggle, but his grip is really tight on my wrists so I use the only weapon I can. I lean forward abruptly and head butt the passenger in the head. A pain stabs through my forehead forcing my head fall back in agony. I open and close my eyes trying to stop the dizziness that’s overwhelming my mind.

“Fuuuuck,” he yells. “You’re fucking insane,” he states holding onto me tighter.

“You okay, Mark?” the driver asks turning to look at us both.

“Yeah, I’m fine Duke. I think crazy is a bit dazed though,” Mark says and I stop fighting. Duke, the driver, isn’t pulling over if anything he’s driving faster, so I slump forward and rest my forehead on Mark’s shoulder as I straddle him.

“Mark check her,” Duke says as I start to doze in and out a little.

“Hey Violet, are you with me?” Mark asks as he pulls my head off his shoulder and looks at me.

“We’re not going to hurt you, okay?” I furrow my brows and look at him as the car screeches to a halt. I look around and notice familiar surroundings. The front passenger side door opens up quickly and I’m pulled out of the car and off Mark’s lap.

“Jesus Christ! Mark, what the fuck is she on your lap?” I hear someone ask as I stand up and look around. We’re out the front of the bloody cabin.

What the fuck?

“She went mental. We didn’t want to scare her off before we could bring her back here, but I think she thought we were members of the Rebels—”

“You’re not in cahoots with Mad Dog?” I ask as Duke gets out and walks over to me showing me his gun and badge.

“No Violet, we’re the shift change for the protective guards at the gate,” Duke answers and I look over at Mark with my eyes open wide.

“Oh fuck! I’m so sorry,” I say to Mark and he shakes his head and rubs his forehead. “It’s okay, we should’ve just told you who we were.”

“Is she here?” I hear Hudson call out. I turn around and see him rushing out of the cabin and down toward me. I can’t tell if he’s angry or terrified by the look on his face.

“What the fuck happened, Vee?” he yells as he runs up to me and picks me up in an embrace. “I was so worried the Dogs got you while I was in the shower. Fuck! I’ve never been so scared in all my life,” Hudson says nuzzling into me.

“It’s okay, I left of my own accord,” I say not holding him back.

He shakes his head as his hands run all over my body checking every inch of me. “I was so damn worried, Vee. I’ve never been more terrified in all my life. I thought I’d lost you. Why would you do that to me?” he asks as his hands continue to search my body frantically for injury while I stand here motionless.

Mark starts to snicker under his breath. “We’ll let you get back to protecting your little lady,” he says and winks at Hudson.

Hudson sends him a death glare and Mark shakes his head smirking.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t know us or our relationship so just shut your mouth, Mark,” Hudson berates making me raise my eyebrow in surprise at his defensiveness.

Mark rolls his eyes. “Geez Stone calm down—”

“Don’t tell me to calm down you fucking smartarse,” Hudson says loudly sounding angrier by the second as he continues to run his hands over me.

“Just remember I was the one who found her and brought her back to you, you could show a bit of gratitude you know,” Mark says and walks back over to the car.

Hudson exhales and I look into his eyes and I can see he’s struggling. He seems really upset. He caresses my cheek as he looks down at me and swallows hard.

“We’ll… ah… leave you to it, watch dog. Don’t let her slip away again. It’s just lucky Mark and Duke were on their way and they spotted her on the road. I’ll have to call this into Chief Thomas though, you know that, right?” one of the other policeman says and Hudson nods as the cop and his partner get back into their car.

“Want us to stick around for a while or are we okay to go back up to the drive?” Duke asks Hudson.

He finally lets me go and he looks at me flaring his nostrils. Okay, I think he’s angry, not terrified or struggling.

“No, it’s okay. I have it from here. Thanks for finding her guys,” he says pulling me to him and wrapping his arms around me tightly.

“No worries, but look out Stone, she has a mean head butt,” Mark states.

“Sorry,” I say as Hudson looks at me and furrows his brows.

They get into the car and drive off back up the driveway as Hudson and I continue to get drenched in the rain.

“C’mon, let’s get you inside,” he says while he basically drags me inside the cabin. He shuts the front door and turns me to look at him. “What were you thinking?” he asks looking hurt as he leans in and pulls my jacket off me, letting it fall to the floor. I wonder briefly why he’s undressing me, but I honestly don’t care.

“You don’t want me, Hudson. I’m living on borrowed time. Why wait for the inevitable… I’m dead anywa
y,
I was just searching for it sooner.”

He stops and looks into my eyes. “You’re giving up? Where’s the fighter I know gone?” he asks as he leans in and starts to unbutton my pajama top. I look down to see my exposed breasts coming into view, but I don’t question what he’s doing, I just let him do whatever he wants.

“What’s the point in fighting when you have nothing to fight for, Hudson. You know as well as I do that we’re done. You also know that ratting on the Dogs, basically sealed my fate, so what’s the point in waiting. I just want this over with,” I say and he sniffs and shakes his head while he frowns.

“You think just because I stopped before, after your dream, that I don’t want you? You’re willing to let Mad Dog find you because of that?”

“I guess,” I say and he groans and turns away running his fingers through his hair.

“Fuck Vee, don’t you get it?” he blurts out turning back toward me.

I shake my head as I stand there dripping wet with my pajama top open exposing my breasts to him, which I still have no idea why he’s done that.

“What’s the point Hudson? You can’t stand the thought of touching me. There’s no way we can get past that? So tell me, what’s the fucking point to any of this?”

He exhales and looks in my eyes. “The thought of kissing you a month ago sent a shiver down my spine and not in a good way—”

“Gee thanks,” I murmur and he shakes his head and walks back over to me pulling my wet pajama top off me leaving me topless in the kitchen.

“Just listen! Yes, a month ago the mere thought of touching you was something I couldn’t comprehend, but it goes to show with time I can get past it—”

“Really? Because you stopping before, fucking makes me tend to disagree,” I rebut.

“Vee, the fact that I was almost willing to go there proves to me I
will
get over it with time.”

I can’t let myself get my hopes up, there’s no use in that. “I still don’t see what the point is? Don’t you want Cassie back anyway?” I ask and he furrows his brows and looks at me confused.

“What? No. Why? Why would you say that?” he asks and steps forward taking the hem of my pants, including my panties, in his hands and starts to pull them down my legs. I raise an eyebrow wondering what the hell he’s doing.

“Because she rang while you were in the shower. She’s a better match for you, Hudson.”

He looks at me and shakes his head. “She technically may be a better match for me, but she isn’t the woman I want,” he says bending down, pulling off my shoes and tapping my ankle so I can step out of my pants and panties, leaving me completely naked in front of him.

“Don’t try to make me stay here by telling me you want me more than her. I know we can never work, Hudson. So I’m giving up on us. Even though, for some reason unknown to me, you’re stripping me naked right now?” I say kind of like a question.

He stands up and I can’t help but notice his eyes drift toward my exposed breasts. “You’re naked because it’s freezing and you’re all wet. You need to warm up and being in your wet clothes won’t do that.”

“You’re all wet too,” I say and he looks down at his wet jeans and tank top. He must’ve put them on before he called the guards down. He looks back up at me and smirks, then grabs the hem of his tank and pulls it off over his head. Then he unbuttons his jeans and I raise an eyebrow at him and frown.

What the fuck is he doing?

He pulls his jeans and his boxers off so we’re both standing completely naked in the kitchen of the cabin. I can’t help it as I look down to his semi-erect cock and I grin slightly. He chuckles and leans in sweeping me off my feet lifting me up. I squeal and quickly wrap my arms around his neck for support.

“Guess I better find a way to warm us both up then, hey?” he asks walking me toward the bathroom. I nod and even though everything in me wants to fight this pull I’m feeling between Hudson and me, I lean into his chest and take in his warmth surrounding me. We get to the bathroom and he puts me down and leans into the shower alcove and turns on the tap.

“The shower is really small, Hudson. I don’t think we’ll both fit.”

He smirks and shakes his head. “Then I’ll just have to hold you to me. To be honest, I don’t ever want to let you out of my sight or grip again. Knowing you’re willing to run from me only makes me realise that I need to try harder. I want to try harder for you, Vee,” he says looking into my eyes and he looks sincere.

I don’t know what he means by that. Whether it’s to try harder to keep me here and stop me from running to my own demise or whether it means try harder for
us
. But either way I’m not sure
I’m
willing to try. I think all my energy is gone and I really can’t be bothered waiting around anymore. I’m not a patient person. I hate waiting for things and knowing that this little ‘vacation’ Hudson and I are on will eventually end and things will inevitably fall apart again - well I don’t know if I want to wait around for that to happen.

He takes my hand and we step over the edge of the bathtub and into the shower. The water is so hot each drop is stinging, but I like it, it reminds me that I can feel, that I don’t have to be numb to everything. He pulls our bodies close together and he wraps his arms around my waist holding our naked bodies tightly.

I exhale and realise that I’m cold enough to go along with whatever it is he’s doing. So I wrap my arms around his waist and nuzzle my head into his chest. He positions us completely under the running stream and because our bodies are connected the hot water is sliding down both of us. I must admit, his plan of warming us up is starting to thaw even my cold heart a little. I always loved the feeling of his skin on mine and, to be honest, the only way we could be closer is if he was inside me. But that’s not what this shower is about. It’s about comfort, not anything sexual and I know that. His hand comes up and gently caresses my hair, I can hear his heart racing in his chest.

“Your heart’s racing,” I mumble.

He continues to caress my scalp. “I know, I was so scared I’d lost you, Vee. I don’t know if I’m more relieved that you’re okay or angrier that you took off like that. I don’t know how to feel. All I do know is I can’t stand to let go of you right now. I need to be close to you because the thought that I’d lost you… well, it killed me, Vee. I have never and I mean
never
been so scared of anything in all my life. So please, please, don’t run away again. You’ll give me a heart attack.”