29 - Monster Blood III (6 page)

Now she was going to come home to a basement splattered with sticky yellow
goop from floor to ceiling. And Kermit was sure to tell her the whole thing was
Evan’s fault.

Aunt Dee will tell everyone in the world why she had to take the job away
from me, Evan thought unhappily. And I’ll never get another baby-sitting job as
long as I live.

Bye-bye, Walkman, he thought grimly. No way he’d ever earn the money for one
now.

“This is
your
fault!” he snapped at Andy, pointing an accusing finger
at her. A spot of yellow dough stuck to his fingernail.

“
My
fault?” Andy shrieked. “
You’re
the one who wanted to teach
Kermit a lesson!”

“But
you’re
the one who wanted to use the Monster Blood!” Evan cried.

“Look at my hair!” Andy wailed. “It’s solid goop! It looks like I’m wearing a
helmet! It’s ruined! Ruined!” She uttered an angry growl.

Kermit giggled. He bent down and picked up a chunk of the sticky yellow
dough. “Think fast!” he shouted—and heaved it at Evan.

The dough ball hit the front of Evan’s T-shirt and stuck there. “Stop it,
Kermit!” he shouted angrily.

“Let’s have a dough fight!” Kermit suggested, grinning. He scooped up another
handful of the stuff.

“No! No way! Stop it!” Evan cried. He pulled the dough ball off his T-shirt.
“This is dangerous! We’ve got to clean this up!”

Kermit flung another big chunk of yellow goo at Evan.

Evan tried to dodge out of the way. But his sneakers slipped on a big, slimy
puddle of goop, and he hit the floor hard. He landed on his side with a loud
“OOF!”

Kermit let out a gleeful laugh. “That was awesome!” he declared. “What a
shot!”

Andy hurried over and helped tug Evan to his feet. “Maybe we can vacuum it
all up,” she suggested. She turned to Kermit. “Where does your mom keep the
vacuum cleaner?”

Kermit shrugged. “Beats me.”

Evan leaned against the lab table. His hand rested in a puddle of dough, but
he didn’t care.

He suddenly felt strange.

His entire body started to tingle. His stomach felt queasy. He shut his eyes,
trying to force the strange feeling away.

But the tingling grew stronger.

He heard a shrill whistling sound in his ears. His muscles started to ache.
He could feel the blood throbbing at his temples.

“Maybe we can mop it up,” Evan heard Andy say. But her voice sounded tiny and
far away.

He turned to see her pick up a mop and bucket from against the basement wall.

That bucket is too tiny, Evan thought. Why does Andy want to use such a tiny
mop?

The room tilted—to the right, then to the left.

Evan blinked hard, trying to straighten everything out.

His whole body buzzed, as if an electrical current were shooting through him.
He shut his eyes and pressed both hands against his throbbing temples.

“Evan—aren’t you going to help me?” Andy’s voice sounded so faint, so far
away. “Evan—?” he heard her call. “Evan—?”

When he opened his eyes, he saw that Andy and Kermit were staring up at him.
Their expressions had changed. Their eyes bulged in fright and surprise. Their
mouths were wide open.

“What’s going on?” Evan demanded. His voice boomed through the basement,
echoing off the concrete walls.

Andy and Kermit stared up at him. The tiny mop fell out of Andy’s hand and
clattered to the floor.

Such a tiny mop, Evan thought again, staring down at it. Such a tiny bucket.

And then he realized that Andy and Kermit were tiny, too.

“Oh!” A cry of surprise escaped Evan’s throat.

Everyone is so small. Everything is so tiny.

It took Evan a long time to figure out what had happened.

But when it finally dawned on him, he let out a shriek of horror.

“Oh, no! No!” he moaned. “I’m
growing
! I’m growing bigger and bigger!”

Evan lowered his eyes to the floor. It seemed so far below.

“My—my legs—” he stammered.

Andy and Kermit still hadn’t said a word. They stared up at him, their faces
twisted in surprise.

Evan swallowed hard. “What’s going on?” he cried. His voice boomed through
the small room. “I must be eight feet tall!”

“You—you’re a
giant
!” Kermit declared. He stepped forward and
grabbed on to Evan’s knee. “Me, too! Okay? Okay, Evan? Make me a giant, too!” he
begged.

“Give me a break,” Evan muttered. He picked up Kermit easily and set him down
on top of the lab table.

Then Evan turned to Andy. “What am I going to do? This is terrible!”

“Not so loud!” Andy pleaded, covering her ears with her hands. “Please, Evan—try to whisper or something, okay?”

“What am I going to do?” Evan repeated, ignoring her plea.

Andy forced a smile. “Try out for basketball, I guess.”

Evan balled his huge hands into huge fists. “I’m not in the mood for your
sick sense of humor, Andy,” he snapped.

His body started to tingle again. His muscles ached.

I’m growing even bigger, he realized.

Evan’s throat suddenly felt very dry. He realized his knees were shaking.
They made a loud banging sound as they hit together.

Don’t panic! he instructed himself.

The first rule is—don’t panic.

But why
shouldn’t
he panic? His head was nearly pushing up against the
basement ceiling.

Kermit stood up on top of the lab table. His white high-tops were splattered
with yellow dough. They looked like little doll shoes to Evan.

“Make me a giant, too!” Kermit pleaded. “Why can’t I be a giant?”

Evan stared down at his cousin. Kermit really
did
look like a little
white mouse now.

Evan’s body tingled harder. The room tilted and swayed again. “This is
your
fault, Andy!” he shouted.

Andy shrank back against the wall. “Huh? My fault?”

“You and your Monster Blood!” Evan thundered. “I—I swallowed some!”

Andy stared up at him. “How?”

“When Kermit’s mixture exploded,” Evan replied. “I was putting the candy bar
in my mouth. The dough exploded. I started to choke. The dough hit me in the
face. I remember I tasted it. It was on my lips. And—and—”

“And it had Monster Blood in it!” Andy finished his sentence for him. Her
face filled with horror. “Oh, Evan. I’m sorry. I really am.”

But then her face brightened. “The Monster Blood splashed on your clothes,
too. That was lucky. They’re growing with you.”

Evan let out an exasperated sigh. “Lucky?” he cried. “You call this lucky?
What if I keep growing and never stop?”

Kermit remained standing on the lab table. He stared up at Evan. “You mean if
I eat some of the dough, I’ll turn into a giant, too?” He bent down and scooped
up a handful of dough.

“Don’t you
dare
!” Evan screamed. He leaned over and flicked the dough
out of Kermit’s hand with two fingers. Then he hovered over Kermit, glaring at
him menacingly. “I can squash you, Kermit. I really can,” Evan warned.

“Okay, okay,” Kermit muttered, his voice trembling. He slid off the table and
stepped behind Andy.

Wow, Evan thought, I actually have Kermit afraid of me! That’s a first. Maybe growing so big isn’t all bad!

His body tingled and vibrated. The whistling in his ears grew louder. He
could feel himself grow some more.

He turned to see Dogface pad into the room. The big sheepdog looked like a
tiny poodle.

The dog hiccupped. It sniffed at a yellow puddle of dough on the floor.

“No!” Evan cried. “Don’t eat that! Dogface—no!”

He bent over and picked up the sheepdog.

Seeing a giant human lift him up easily off the floor, Dogface let out a yelp
of terror. All four legs thrashed the air as the frightened dog struggled to
break free.

But Evan cradled the sheepdog in one arm and held on to him tightly.

When he realized he couldn’t escape from the giant, the dog’s terrified yelps
turned to quiet whimpers.

“Take Dogface out of here. Lock him outside,” Evan ordered Kermit. He lowered
the whimpering dog to the floor.

Kermit obediently led the dog away. Halfway to the stairs, he turned back to
Evan. “Hey, you cured Dogface’s hiccups!”

I guess I scared them out of him! Evan told himself.

Kermit led Dogface up the stairs. Evan turned to Andy. “I
told
you to leave the Monster Blood in the closet!” he
cried. “Now look at me!”

He had to duck his head. Otherwise it would brush against the ceiling.

“Who told you to
eat
the stuff?” Andy replied. “Why did you have to be
eating that candy bar?”

“It was part of the plan—remember?” Evan snapped angrily. He uttered a
bitter sigh. “Great plan we had!”

“I guess it didn’t work out too well,” Andy admitted.

“I guess it didn’t,” Evan muttered. “Now what will happen to me? What will
Mom and Dad say?”

“What will you eat?” Andy added. “You’ll probably have to eat sixteen meals a
day! And where will you sleep? And how can you go to school? There aren’t any
desks big enough for you. And what will you wear? They’ll have to make your
T-shirts out of bedsheets!”

“You’re not cheering me up,” Evan murmured glumly.

He felt his body tingle. Again, he could feel his skin stretching, feel all
of his muscles throb.

“Ow!” he cried out as the top of his head banged against the ceiling.

He had to lean over to rub his head.

“Evan—you’re growing!” Andy exclaimed.

“I know. I know,” Evan grumbled. The basement ceiling was at least nine feet
high. Evan had to stoop to keep from banging the ceiling. That meant he was more than nine
feet tall.

A shiver of fear shook his body. He glanced around the basement. “I have to
get out of here!” he cried.

Kermit returned to the room. He stopped and gawked at Evan. “You grew even
more!” he cried. “I’ll bet you weigh three hundred pounds!”

“I don’t have time to weigh myself,” Evan replied, rolling his eyes. “I have
to get out of here. I’m so big, I can’t stand up. I’m so big, I—”

He stopped. He felt himself grow a little more.

“I’m too big now!” he cried. “I’m trapped down here! There’s no way I can get
out!”

“Stay calm,” Andy called up to him.

“Calm? How can I stay calm?” Evan shrieked. “I’m going to spend the rest of
my life in this basement! I’m too big for the stairs!”

“Mom won’t like that,” Kermit said, shaking his head.

“Try the stairs!” Andy cried. “Maybe you can squeeze up if you hurry!”

Evan turned to the basement stairs. “I—I don’t think I’ll fit,” he
stammered. The stairway appeared very narrow. And Evan was now very wide.

“Come on,” Andy urged. “We’ll help you.”

“You push and I’ll pull,” Kermit said, running to the stairs.

Evan lumbered toward the stairs. His sneakers thudded heavily on the tile
floor. He stooped his shoulders to keep his head from crashing against the
ceiling.

“Try not to grow any bigger!” Andy called, following closely behind him.

“Great advice!” Evan replied sarcastically. “Do you have any more advice like
that?”

“Don’t be nasty,” Andy scolded. “I’m only trying to help you.”

“You’ve already helped me more than enough,” Evan grumbled.

He felt his body start to tingle. His muscles started to throb.

“No! Please—no!” He uttered a silent plea. I don’t want to grow any more!

He sucked in a deep breath and held it. He shut his eyes tight and tried to
concentrate—concentrate on not growing.

“I think I just saw you grow another few inches,” Andy called to him. “You’d
better hurry, Evan.”

“How big is Evan going to get?” Kermit asked. He had climbed halfway up the
stairs. “Is he going to get bigger than an elephant?”

“That’s not helpful, Kermit,” Evan muttered unhappily. “Please stop asking
questions like that—okay?”

“If you get as big as an elephant, will you give me a ride?” Kermit demanded.

Evan glared angrily at his cousin. “Do you know what elephants do to mice?”
he bellowed. Evan raised one foot and brought it down with a crunching
thud
to demonstrate to Kermit what elephants do to mice.

Kermit swallowed hard and didn’t say anything more.

Evan walked over to the stairway. He glanced up the stairs. “I don’t think I
can make it,” he told Andy. “I’m too big.”

“Give it a try,” she urged. “You’ve
got
to, Evan.”

Evan stepped on to the first step. Leaning low, he raised himself to the next
step.

“You’re doing it!” Kermit cried happily. He stayed at the top of the stairs,
watching Evan’s progress eagerly.

Evan took another step. The wooden stairs creaked under his weight. He tried
to lean on the banister. But it snapped beneath his hand.

He climbed two more steps.

He was a third of the way up when he became stuck.

His body was just too wide for the narrow stairway.

Kermit pulled both of Evan’s hands. Andy pushed him from behind.

But they couldn’t budge him.

“I—I can’t move,” Evan stammered. He felt panic choke his throat. “I’m
jammed tight in here. There’s no way I’ll ever get out!”

Then he felt his body start to tingle. And he knew he was growing even more.

As Evan grew, he heard a cracking sound.

Soft at first. Then louder. Very close by.

He cried out as the wall to his left crumbled. His expanding body had broken
the wall away.

As the wall cracked and fell, Evan took a deep breath and lurched up the
stairs.

“Made it!” he cried as he squeezed through the doorway.

A few seconds later, he burst out through the kitchen door, into the sunlit
backyard.

Dogface lay stretched out near the fence. The dog jumped to his feet as the
gigantic Evan appeared. Frightened, Dogface gave a loud bark, his stubby tail
wagging furiously, then turned and bolted from the yard.