29 - Monster Blood III (3 page)

Andy eyed him suspiciously. “Why?”

Kermit grabbed Andy’s hand and tugged her closer. “Let me see it,” he
insisted.

“It’s just a mosquito bite,” Andy said.

“I have some of that blue shrinking mixture left,” Kermit announced. “The
stuff I shrank Conan’s shirt with.”

“Don’t remind me,” Evan groaned.

“It’ll shrink your mosquito bite,” Kermit told Andy. He picked up the beaker.

“You’re going to pour that stuff on my arm?” Andy cried. “I don’t think so!”

She tried to step away.

But Kermit grabbed her arm. And poured.

The blue liquid spread over the mosquito bite.

“No! Oh, no!” Andy shrieked.

“My arm!” Andy shrieked. “What did you
do
to me?”

Evan lurched to the lab table, nearly stumbling over the dog again. He
grabbed Andy’s arm and examined it. “It—it—” he stammered.

“It’s gone!” Andy cried. “The mosquito bite—it’s gone!”

Evan stared at Andy’s arm. Perfectly smooth, except for a few drips of the
blue liquid.

“Kermit—you’re a
genius
!” Andy cried. “That mixture of yours shrank
the mosquito bite away!”

“Told you,” Kermit replied, grinning happily.

“You can make a fortune!” Andy exclaimed. “Don’t you realize what you’ve
done? You’ve invented the greatest cure for mosquito bites ever!”

Kermit held up the beaker. He tilted it one way, then the other. “Not much
left,” he said softly.

“But you can mix up some more—right?” Andy demanded.

Kermit frowned. “I’m not sure,” he said softly.

“I think I can mix up a new batch. But I’m not sure. I didn’t write down what
I put in it.”

He scratched his white-blond hair and stared at the empty glass beaker,
twitching his nose like a mouse, thinking hard.

Dogface let out another loud hiccup. The hiccup was followed by a howl. Evan
saw that the poor dog was getting very unhappy about the hiccups. Dogface was a
big dog—and so he had big hiccups that shook his sheepdog body like an
earthquake.

“I’d better get to work on the hiccup cure,” Kermit announced. He pulled some
jars of chemicals off the shelf and started to open them.

“Whoa. Wait a minute,” Evan told him. “I told you, Kermit—I can’t let you
feed anything to the dog. Aunt Dee will
kill
me if—”

“Oh, let him try!” Andy interrupted. She rubbed her smooth arm. “Kermit is a
genius, Evan. You have to let a genius work.”

Evan glared at her. “Whose side are you on?” he demanded in a loud whisper.

Andy didn’t answer. She unzipped her orange-and-blue backpack and pulled out
some papers. “I think I’ll do my math homework while Kermit mixes up his hiccup
cure.”

Kermit’s eyes lit up excitedly behind his glasses. “Math? Do you have math
problems?”

Andy nodded. “It’s a take-home equations exam. Very hard.”

Kermit set down the test tubes and beakers. He hurried out from behind the
lab table. “Can I do the problems for you, Andy?” he asked eagerly. “You know I
love to do math problems.”

Andy flashed Evan a quick wink. Evan frowned back at her. He shook his head.

So
that’s
why Andy is being so nice to Kermit! Evan told himself. It
was all a trick. A trick to get Kermit to do the math test for her.

Kermit could never resist math problems. His parents had to buy him stacks
and stacks of math workbooks. He could spend an entire afternoon doing all the
problems in the workbooks—
for fun
!

Dogface hiccupped.

Kermit grabbed the math test from Andy’s hand. “Please let me do the
equations,” he begged. “Pretty please?”

“Well… okay,” Andy agreed. She flashed Evan another wink.

Evan scowled back at her. Andy is going to get in trouble for this, he
thought. Andy is a
terrible
math student. It’s her worst subject. Mrs.
McGrady is going to get very suspicious when Andy gets every problem right.

But Evan didn’t say anything. What was the point?

Kermit was already scribbling answers on the page, solving the equations as
fast as he could read them. His eyes were dancing wildly. He was breathing hard. And he had a happy grin on his face.

“All done,” he announced.

Wow, he’s fast! Evan thought. He finished that math test in the time it would
take me to write my name at the top of the page!

Kermit handed the pencil and math pages back to Andy. “Thanks a lot,” she
said. “I really need a good grade in math this term.”

“Cheater,” Evan whispered in her ear.

“I just did it for Kermit,” Andy whispered back. “He loves doing math
problems. So why shouldn’t I give him a break?”

“Cheater,” Evan repeated.

Dogface hiccupped. Then he let out a pained howl.

Kermit returned to his lab table. He poured a yellow liquid into a red
liquid. It started to smoke. Then it turned bright orange.

Andy tucked the math test into her backpack.

Kermit poured the orange liquid into a large glass beaker. He picked up a
tiny bottle, turned it upside down, and emptied silvery crystals into the
beaker.

Evan stepped up beside Kermit. “You can’t feed that to Dogface,” Evan
insisted. “I really mean it. I won’t let you give it to him.”

Kermit ignored him. He stirred the mixture until it turned white. Then he
added another powder that made it turn orange again.

“You have to listen to me, Kermit,” Evan said. “I’m in charge, right?”

Kermit continued to ignore him.

Dogface hiccupped. His white furry body quivered and shook.

“Let Kermit work,” Andy told Evan. “He’s a genius.”

“Maybe he’s a genius,” Evan replied. “But I’m in charge. Until Kermit’s mom
gets home, I’m the boss.”

Kermit poured the mixture into a red dog dish.

“I’m the boss,” said Evan. “And the boss says no.”

Kermit lowered the dog dish to the floor.

“The boss says you can’t feed that to Dogface,” Evan said.

“Here, boy! Here, boy!” Kermit called.

“No way!” Evan cried. “No way the dog is drinking that!”

Evan made a dive for the bowl. He planned to grab it away.

But he dove too hard—and went sliding under the lab table.

Dogface lowered his head to the dog dish and began lapping up the orange
mixture.

Evan spun around and stared eagerly at the dog. All three of them were
waiting… waiting… waiting to see what would happen.

Dogface licked the bowl clean. Then he stared up at Kermit, as if to say,
“Thank you.”

Kermit petted the big dog’s head. He smoothed the white, curly fur from in
front of Dogface’s eyes. The fur fell right back in place. Dogface licked
Kermit’s hand.

“See? The hiccups are gone,” Kermit declared to Evan.

Evan stared at the dog. He waited a few seconds more. “You’re right,” he
confessed. “The hiccups are gone.”

“It was a simple mixture,” Kermit bragged. “Just a little tetrahydropodol
with some hydradroxilate crystals and an ounce of megahydracyl oxyneuroplat.
Any child could do it.”

“What a genius!” Andy exclaimed.

Evan started to say something. But Dogface interrupted with a sharp yip.

Then, without warning, the big sheepdog sprang forward. With another shrill
yip, Dogface raised his enormous front paws—and leaped on to Kermit.

Kermit let out a startled cry and stumbled back against the wall. Bottles and
jars shook on the shelves behind him.

Dogface began barking wildly, uttering shrill, excited yips. The dog jumped
again, as if trying to leap into Kermit’s arms.

“Down, boy! Down!” Kermit squealed.

The dog jumped again.

The shelves shook. Kermit sank to the floor.

“Down, boy! Down!” Kermit shrieked, covering his head with both arms. “Stop
it, Dogface! Stop jumping!”

The excited dog used his head to push Kermit’s arm away. Then he began
licking Kermit’s face frantically. Then he began nipping at his T-shirt.

“Stop! Yuck! Stop!” Kermit struggled to get away. But the big dog had Kermit
pinned to the floor.

“What’s going on?” Andy cried. “What’s gotten into that dog?”

“Kermit’s mixture!” Evan replied. He dove at the dog, grabbed Dogface with
both hands, and tried to tug him off Kermit.

Dogface spun around. With another high-pitched yip, he bounded away, running
at full speed across the basement.

“Stop him!” Kermit cried. “He’s out of control! He’ll break something!”

CRAAAASH.

A shelf of canning jars toppled to the floor.

Barking loudly, the dog bounded away from the shelf and began running in wide
circles, his big paws clomping on the tile floor. Round and round, as if chasing
his tail.

“Dogface—whoa!” Evan called, chasing after the sheepdog. He turned back to
Andy. “Help me! We’ve got to stop him! He’s acting crazy!”

Dogface disappeared into the laundry room. “Dogface—come back here!” Evan
called.

He burst into the laundry room in time to see the dog crash into the ironing
board. It toppled over, along with a stack of clothes that had been resting on
it. The iron clattered over the hard floor.

Dogface yelped and climbed out from under the spilled clothes. Spotting Evan,
the dog’s stubby tail began wagging—and he leaped across the room.

“No!” Evan screeched as the huge dog knocked him over backwards to the
ground. Dogface frantically licked Evan’s face.

Behind him, Evan heard Andy laugh. “Too much energy! He’s acting like a crazy
puppy!” she declared.

“He’s too big to think he’s a puppy!” Evan wailed.

Dogface was sniffing furiously under the washing machine. He pounced on a
large black ant.

Then he turned and came bounding over to Andy and Evan.

“Look out!” Evan cried.

But the big sheepdog lumbered past them, back into the other room. They
followed him, watching him roll over a few times, kicking his big, furry paws in
the air.

Then Dogface jumped to his feet—and came charging at Kermit.

“Whoa! Whoa, boy!” Kermit cried. He turned to Andy. “You’re right. This is
just the way Dogface acted when he was a puppy. The mixture gave him too much
energy!”

The sheepdog crashed into an old couch against the wall. He climbed up onto
the couch, sniffing the cushions, exploring. His stubby tail wagged furiously.

“Dogface, you’re not a puppy!” Evan cried. “Please listen to me! You’re too
big to be a puppy! Dogface—please!”

“Look out!” Andy shrieked.

The dog jumped off the couch and went running full speed toward Kermit.

“No! Stop!” Kermit cried. He dove behind the lab table.

The dog tried to slow down. But his big legs were carrying him too fast.

Dogface crashed into the lab table. Bottles and beakers flew into the air,
then crashed to the floor. The table toppled over on top of Kermit.

The shelves fell off the wall, and all of the jars and tubes and beakers
tumbled to the floor, shattering, clattering, chemicals pouring out over the
floor.

“What a mess!” Evan cried. “What a horrible mess!”

He turned—and let out a loud gasp.

Aunt Dee stood in the doorway. Her mouth was opened wide in surprise, and her
eyes nearly bulged out of her head.

“What on Earth is going on down here?” she shrieked.

“Uh… well…” Evan started.

How could he begin to explain? And if he did find a way to explain, would
Aunt Dee believe him?

Aunt Dee pressed her hands against her waist and tapped one foot on the
floor. “What has happened here?” she demanded angrily.

“Uh… well…” Evan repeated.

Kermit spoke up first. He pointed an accusing finger at Evan. “Evan was
teasing the dog!” he cried.

Kermit’s mom glared angrily at Evan. “I’m paying you to take care of Kermit,”
she said sternly. “Not to play silly jokes on the dog and wreck my house.”

“But—but—but—” Evan sputtered.

“Evan didn’t do it!” Andy protested.

But her words were drowned out by Kermit, who let out a loud, phony wail—and burst into tears. “I tried to stop Evan!” Kermit sobbed. “I didn’t want him
to tease Dogface! But he wouldn’t stop!”

Kermit rushed into his mother’s arms. “It’s okay,” Aunt Dee said soothingly.
“It’s okay, Kermit. I’ll make sure Evan never does it again.”

She narrowed her eyes angrily at Evan as Kermit continued to sob, holding on
to his mother like a baby.

Evan rolled his eyes at Andy. Andy replied with a shrug.

“Evan, you and Andy can start cleaning up this mess,” Mrs. Majors ordered.
“Kermit is a very sensitive boy. When you play jokes like this, it upsets him terribly.”

Kermit sobbed even louder. His mom tenderly patted his head. “It’s okay,
Kermit. It’s okay. Evan won’t ever tease Dogface again,” she whispered.

“But—but—” Evan sputtered.

How could Kermit put on such an act?

How could he deliberately get Evan into trouble? This mess wasn’t Evan’s
fault. It was Kermit’s!

“I really don’t think—” Andy started.

But Aunt Dee raised a hand to silence her. “Just get this mess cleaned up—okay?”

She turned to Evan. “I’m not going to tell your mom about this, Evan,” she
said, still patting Kermit’s head.

“Thanks,” Evan muttered.

“I’m going to give you one more chance,” she continued. “You don’t really
deserve it. If you weren’t my nephew, I’d make you pay for all the damage. And
I’d get someone else to take care of Kermit.”

“Evan is mean,” Kermit murmured, removing his glasses and wiping tears off
his cheeks. “Evan is really mean.”

What a little rat! Evan thought. But he remained silent, his eyes lowered to
the floor.

“Kermit, let’s get you cleaned up,” Aunt Dee said, leading him to the stairs. “Then we’ll have to give the dog a bath.”

She turned back to Evan and pointed a finger at him. “One more chance,” she
warned. “One more chance.”