Authors: Noel Merczel
"I'LL BE BACK LATER!" she called over her shoulder, as she
headed out the door.
Li
sa waited for a response. A
ll she heard was the loud raggedy sound of her dad snoring and the narrator's gravelly voice exclaiming, "
In the heart of Montana's secluded Yak River Valley, Tom has made a home for himself..."
CHAPTER FOUR
Andrea was relieved that she wasn't alone in the house anymore.
Lisa, Patty and Drew
were all down in her
basement. Lisa
was acting wild, as usual. She had brought beer and it seemed to Andrea like she’d already had a few.
Andrea's house had a huge finished basement with its own bathroom, which was
good for parties.
Not that this is a party! Andrea reminded herself.
It's simply a casual get together.
Or, as Drew suggested, a Blue Whale.
Andrea's super strict dad had a strong impact on his daughter.
The thing
was, she had to stay on her dad's good side so she could use the car. Right now, her family just had one car. Well actually, it was a
minivan.
She couldn't wait until she could afford her
own ride.
She needed to save up enough for a decent used car, and on babysitting money alone, that wasn't
easy. Especially when she
kept spending every cent she earned on art supplies and cute dresses.
Andrea
was hoping to get a job at Pet Smart with Drew, but so far there were no openings. Unfort
unately, unlike Lisa, Patty and Drew, Andrea hadn't received a
car for graduation.
In Andrea's mind, she envisioned her basement as having a game room, a home theater, and a fancy bar
like some of those celebrity homes from that old MTV show, Cribs.
But right now, the basement was simply a huge rectangular space with a cold slate gray tile floor, plain white walls, and can lights in the ceiling... most of which were burned out
.
Lisa had donated some extra strands of holiday lights to give the room more atmosphere.
She didn't donate the lights to be nice, though. She had informed Andrea, "If this basement doesn't get
some more exciting atmosphere, I just won't be able to come here anymore
!"
The basement did sport a nice big comfy couch that Andrea's parents bought at the Salvation Army at least
.
Andrea was a little embarrassed about the couch, though, since it had a big
gross stain on it. However,
she had cleverly placed a Pier One Imports pillow right on top of the offending stain
. That way, she could
pretend the yellowish green spot wasn't
there. Even though everyone kn
ew it was.
"WOO-HOO! I FEEL DRUNK!" Lisa screeche
d, dancing around the tile floor in her stiletto whore shoes.
"Lisa's wearing her super long hair extensions, I can tell!" Drew exclaimed
.
"Don't be jealous, Drew!" Lisa replied, in a singsong
voice. "Maybe you should get some extensions yourself
!"
Lisa shimmied up to the support pole in the basement pretending she was at a strip club, rubbing against the pole in a lascivious manner.
Gross
, Andrea thought.
Andrea didn't understand why Lisa had to act so over-the-top sexual every single second when there weren't
even any guys around. It
was like she was
always trying to prove something.
Like what a whore she is, maybe?
Andrea supplied, continuing the conversation in her head.
"Drew's not the hair extension type," Andrea said, sticking up for her friend. "She's not shallow, like some people."
"Who are you calling shallow, fairy princess?" Lisa sneered.
Andrew knew that Lisa was
only teasing. Yet the teasing
carried a decidedly nasty undertone which Andrea was convinced conveyed Lisa's true feelings towards her
.
Then again, Andrea's so-called teasing wasn't exactly sweet and innocent, either.
“Be nice to me Queen Virgin, or I’ll tell everyone what you do with pickles!” Lisa warned, followed by an evil cackle.
Andrea felt her face burn
with embarrassment. Lisa swore she would never tell anyone about th
e pickles
! But why on earth
should she trust anything Lisa
says, anyway? God, she felt stupid.
“Ew, what do you do with pickles?” Patty asked, wrinkling her wide flat nose.
"C'mon you two!" Drew commanded, shooting Andrea a weird look
. "Try to get along
.
This is supposed to be a party
!"
"You sound just like a mom!" Patty whined.
“This is
not
a party,” Andrea reminded her friend.
“
It’s simply a
Casual Get Together
.”
“What the hell’s the difference?” Lisa scoffed.
"No, it's a Blue Whale!" Drew joked.
"You two are geeks," Lisa proclaimed.
"Are you sure your dad won't miss this beer?" Patty asked Lisa.
Patty was sitting on the bottom of the basement stairs peering intently into her bottle of Leinenkugal, as if it held the secrets of the universe within it's amber liquid.
"NOOO!" Lisa scream
ed.
"No...
you're not sure
?" Patty asked.
"No....I'm not....NOT DRUNK!" Lisa hollered.
“That doesn’t make any sense,” Andrea mumbled.
Then Lisa pretended she was caressing the support pole with her hands.
“What if this was a giant dick?” Lisa asked, pressing her puffy lips against the cracked white paint on the pole.
“Um... I wouldn’t put my mouth on that,” Andrea warned
. “I don’t know if that paint is lead-free.”
“Oh Andrea, you are just no fun!” Lisa informed her.
“I think if that was a giant dick, you would be in giant trouble!” Drew said, sipping her beer.
“Wait.
Let me get this straight.
I’m no fun because I don’t like kissing the support pole in my basement?” Andrea asked.
Patty and Drew laughed.
“No, I mean you’re just no fun in general!” Lisa said, rubbing her substantial butt against the pole.
“I think Lisa’s in love with that pole,” Patty said.
“That pole is going to claim sexual harassment,” Drew added.
Andrea was starting to wonder if being creeped out by herself was better than putting up with Lisa’s skanky stripper show.
Then she got an idea.
She decided to indulge in yet another Mr. Sexy Jogger fantasy.
Andrea leaned back on the Salvation Army couch, getting comfortable.
The fantasy begins with Mr. Sexy Jogger jogging by her
house. Andrea is hanging out in the front yard wearing her light yellow sundress that's really
short and loose fitting.
Whenever Andrea wears this particular dress out in public, she never fails to "flash" people...unintentionally, of course
. Especially when
it's windy out.
Underneath the dress, Andrea is wearing a light yellow bra and panties made out of material that’s lighter than air....not to mention, practically see-through.
In this particular fantasy, it just so happens to be
windy out. A
ndrea's dress blows up a bit in the front right as Mr. Sexy Jogger is jogging
by. Andrea is sure he
's caught a glimpse of her flimsy pale undies and she blushes shyly, holding down the dress.
Mr. Sexy Jogger slows his pace
.
Andrea takes one hand away from the task of holding down her dress and waves at him
.
He waves back. Then
he does something he’s never done before.
HE STOPS JOGGING!
Andrea feels a little freaked out.
“Perfect weather, huh?” he says, conversationally.
Andrea is
surprised.
Mr. Sexy Jogger has never said anything to her before except for
“hi.
“Hell yea! Not too hot, not too cold!”
she replies cheekily.
Immediately, Andrea winces.
That sounds so stupid
!
J
ust like something my mom would say
!
At first, Mr. Sexy Jogger seems surprised. Then he
smiles, showing off
his perfect white teeth.
Andrea smiles back, showing off her own.
Their
eyes meet. There’s
a killer spark
.
She feels like she's being zapped with electricity!
Mr. Sexy Jogger
feels it too.
She can tell
.
“Want something to drink?” Andrea asks him.
Of course Andrea's parents aren't home in this fantasy
.
After all, what idiot would have a hot steamy sexual fantasy with her parents around
?
“Sure!” Mr. Sexy Jogger replies, in response to Andrea's offer of a drink.
“C’mon!” Andrea exclaims, leading him into the house.
“Are you sure this is okay?” he asks, like he's suddenly having second thoughts.
“Oh yea!” Andrea assures him
. “I see you practically every night. I
already feel like I know you.”
“I think I want to know you better,” he replies, suggestively.
She feels him reach out for her
. His
big meaty hand is on her yellow cotton butt.
He squeezes, hard.
Andrea yelps like a startled puppy.
He snickers.
But instead of going into the kitchen to get something to drink, Andrea scurries
down the basement stairs.
He’s hot on her heels.
“You have something to drink down there?” Mr. Sexy Jogger asks.
“Uh...sure!” Andrea says
. “I’m leading you to our wine cellar.”
“Fancy shmancy!” he quips.
Once in the basement, Andrea runs
into the laundry room.
Mr. Sexy Jogger runs after her.
“SORRY WE DON’T HAVE A PING-PONG TABLE!” she shouts, suddenly feeling a bit nervous.
Now that she has him down here, she's not sure what to do with him.
“Oh that’s okay,” he says. “I’d rather have you on a table.”
“Oh!” Andrea says, blushing.
Mr. Sexy Jogger backs her into a corner.
He puts his arms around her;
his big thick muscly arms.
Andrea feels incredibly small and helpless
in his grasp.
She squirms.
Then she manages to slip down out of his grasp and get away.
“You little tease!” he tells her.
“No!” she replies.
She skips away
. He follows.
Andrea thinks this must be the most delicious game of cat and mouse ever!
But Mr. Sexy Jogger has had
enough. He grabs
her.
Then he pushes
Andrea over to the Salvation Army couch.
She falls onto the couch and suddenly, he's on top of her.
His hands are all over her.
Andrea can’t help but see the gigantic bulge in his jeans...so much bigger than Mark Fishman’s bulge.
He sees her looking.
“Touch it,” he says.
Gingerly, she does.
“Oh,” he groans.
“Earth to Andrea!” Drew said.
What is Drew doing in my fantasy
? Andrea wondered...until she realized that she had
completely zoned out.
“Sorry,” Andrea
told her friend.
Then s
he made a point of
sitting up straight on the couch.
“I'm j
ust tired.
I should probably be drinking a Red Bull instead of beer.”
Andrea sighed
with disappointment.
Just when her fantasy was getting good....
CHAPTER FIVE
Everyone watched as Lisa danced around the dark basement
putting on a show, as usual. She wave
d her beer bottle in the air while wearing a hot pink glow-stick headband with mouse ears that matched
her hot pink top.
“SOMEONE TAKE A PICTURE OF THIS!” Lisa shouted, lifting up her top.
Lisa's giant boobs were squeezed into a neon magenta push-up bra.
“I like that bra!” Patty exclaimed
. “Did you get it at Maybelline’s?”
“WHERE ELSE?” Lisa bellowed
.
"I HAVE MY WHOLE TEN PERCENT DISCOUNT, YOU KNOW!"
“No one’s taking a picture of your tits,” Drew informed her, spinning around slowly in the computer chair.