“Everything okay?” I asked him.
Instead of answering me, he just stared out at the water. I wasn’t sure if he was ignoring my question or if he hadn’t heard me, so I tried again. “Cole? Is something wrong?”
He looked at me and it was clear that he definitely had something on his mind. Then his face gentled and he lied, “No, baby, nothing’s wrong.” He took my hand in his for a second, gave me a quick squeeze of what I am sure he intended to be reassuring, let me go, leaned back in his chair again, and looked back out across the water. I wasn’t reassured. Not in the slightest. I knew him better than he probably knew himself. The fact that we had been
together
together for only two days and he was already lying to me instead of confiding in me or at least admitting that something was wrong but he didn’t want to talk about it, disappointed and pained me. I stared at him, waiting. Then I waited some more. Then I tried again.
“Cole, babe?” But he didn’t react. He seemed lost in his thoughts, so I decided to leave him to it. If he wanted to shut me out and brood, then I would darn well let him brood. By himself. This wasn’t me being bitchy. He had asked me not to shut him out when something was on my mind and now he was the one shutting me out. I had to admit it didn’t feel great and I was gonna try and learn from being on the receiving end, but that didn’t mean that I was going to let him get away with it.
When I got up to go to the restroom, he didn’t even move or make any indication that he knew I existed. I went to the restroom, hoping that when I came back out he would have snapped out of it, but when I saw him from the door, I could tell that he was still sitting in the same position, contemplating. So instead of watching him and waiting, I decided to stay inside to play a round of pool. That should give him enough time to sort through things.
I joined some of the locals and played a round with Sean, a tall, dark-haired guy in his mid-twenties, who had a really nice smile and warm eyes. About fifteen minutes into the game, a loud bark of “What the fuck!” coming from the doorway made my head snap up in the middle of taking a shot. Cole was standing there scowling at us, his arms crossed on his chest. “Hey,” I said casually, then leaned back over the table to take the shot that he had interrupted. The sound of his boots on the floor told me he was approaching, but I didn’t look his way. He had no reason to be angry. I took my shot and felt him crowding me. When I straightened to look at him, his scowl had turned into a glare. My eyebrows went up in question.
“Again. What. The. Fuck!” He growled in my face.
In order to give him a chance to be smart and back down, I tipped my head and asked, my voice calm, “What the fuck what?”
But he didn’t back down. Instead, he seemed to get more incensed when he leaned into me to ask me with barely controlled anger, “What the fuck means, baby, what the fuck are you doing?” I looked at the pool table, then back at him and raised my eyebrows once more, in answer this time.
“Liz—” he started warningly, but I interrupted him.
“You were brooding and forgot I existed, so I went to the restroom.” Now his eyebrows turned up.
“You’re not in the restroom now, baby. You’re in here playing pool with some guys while I’m sitting out there waiting for you.”
Oh really? I leaned into him as well so we were nose-to-nose to inform him angrily, “I went to the restroom, Cole. Almost half an hour ago. You forgot I existed, proven by the fact that it took you this long to realize I was gone.” That shut him up. I turned back to the table. Sean had taken his shot and I was assessing the balls to take my turn. I was so focused on ignoring Cole that I didn’t realize he had followed me to the other side of the table until I felt his hands at my hip trying to turn me to face him.
“Liz, honey—” but I yanked my hip from his grip and took a step back to glare at him. He knew my glare, knew not to mess with me when I was this pissed. I wasn’t just pissed, I was disappointed in him and hurt that he would actually forget I even existed, but being pissed was easier than being hurt, so I decided to go with that emotion.
“Don’t, Cole. Don’t expect me to be all hunky dory now that you remembered my existence. I’m playing pool with Sean. You can either go out there and brood some more or go back to the cottage for all I care.” He gave Sean a glance then closed the distance between us until he was again only an inch away from my face. I expected him to growl at me and be all bossy and command me to get my ass in gear or some shit like that. But he surprised me. With both hands holding me on the sides of my neck he said in a low voice laced with remorse, “I’m sorry, baby. You’re right. I shut you out and I shouldn’t have.” He closed his eyes, then pulled me into him more. “I promise to tell you what that was all about once I have you in bed snuggled close.” He kissed me softly. “I’ll wait right here until you’re done hustling this guy, okay?” He ended on a small smile and another soft peck on the lips.
I was stunned speechless, completely surprised by his apology. But also grateful that he realized his mistake and owned up to it. In my experience, not a lot of men or people in general are capable of doing that. And anyways, when someone apologized in earnest it didn’t say much about you if you didn’t forgive them. So I had no other choice but to give in.
I leaned up to kiss his lips lightly, then murmured, “Let’s go,” against his lips before I dropped my queue on the table, looked at Sean to give him a wide grin, and thanked him for keeping me company.
“You were gonna hustle me?” he asked, his eyebrows lifted in bafflement and disbelief.
“Absolutely,” I confirmed through my grin. Sean shook his head at me, grinning, and Cole chuckled by my side, then he took my hand and led me out of the pub back to our cottage.
Lying tucked to his side on our bed, he told me that one of the girls he used to hook up with wouldn't stop texting him, although he’d made it more than clear that he was not available. I had frozen solid at the mention of her name. I knew that name, but hoped to God that it was a different Courtney.
“Courtney?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he said.
“Courtney from home, Courtney?” Now it was his turn to freeze solid. His voice was wary when he repeated, “Yeah.”
“Courtney, the meanest bitch in town you hooked up with during senior year in high school, Courtney?” No response. “You’ve been hooking up with her since high school?” He could not be serious. That meant he’d been going back to her for years.
Cole sighed a deep sigh then he turned onto his side so we were facing each other. His arms stayed locked around me. The look on his face made me brace, telling me I would not like what I was going to hear. “I didn’t hook up with her every time I went home, but apparently enough for her to think she has some kind of claim on me.” I was right. I didn’t like what I was hearing. Courtney was a bitch with a capital B. A conniving, mean bitch, who had ridiculed me whenever she had a chance, had played mean tricks on me and taunted me. I knew Cole had screwed her because she was all too happy to tell me all about it in detail when she had me pinned against the wall in the locker room of our high school gym, with her friends egging her on. She had been mean to me because Cole had never made a secret of being protective of me and she had considered him hers. It was almost like she had singled me out of all the people she considered losers. Even when she had graduated, she hadn’t let up torturing and embarrassing me whenever she got a chance.
Fucking hell!
I turned away from him to my back and stared at the ceiling. This was not good. If he had been going back to her for all these years, then she would still consider Cole hers. She was not someone who would give up easily. And she hated me, which would fuel her anger only more.
“Did you tell her why you are not available any longer?” I asked the ceiling.
“Yes. I told her we’re together. That I love you and am committed to you. That I want her to lose my number.”
Okay. That made me feel better. But she sure as hell would
not
accept that and let me have him without a fight. Good thing I didn’t intend to ever set foot in Ashford again. I’d never gone back home even once since I started college. Nothing for me to go back to. I wouldn’t have to see her and deal with her.
“She didn’t like the fact that you committed to me of all people, did she?” I was still talking to the ceiling, trying to come to terms with the fact that Cole had been in a relationship with her for years. A very,
very
casual relationship, but it was still a relationship in my eyes, and Courtney was the type of woman who would see it as something more than what it was. I couldn’t put my finger on why exactly, but his revelation worried me more than I wanted to admit.
Cole’s hand on my stomach started stroking me soothingly. He could tell this was a blow and he was being cautious.
“No. She wasn’t,” he paused, then, “she keeps calling and texting me. I turned my phone off.” I nodded. What else could I do?
“Baby, you have nothing to worry about. I’ll deal with her.” I sighed. He thought I was jealous. Granted, I had been extremely jealous of her before, since she had been one of those girls lucky enough to get attention from Cole, but I was not jealous now.
“I’m not jealous if that’s what you’re thinking. Is that what you were brooding about for an hour?” I felt him tense beside me, but then he relaxed and pulled me closer to him. “Yes. And the fact that by now she’ll probably have called my mother since they run in the same circles. Though, why she would think she has any claim on me, I have no idea. I never promised her anything but a good time. Like all the other women who came before you, she was nothing but a fuck. She knew the drill. I wanted to enjoy this weekend and was gonna tell my parents about us on Monday, but Courtney likely has jumped the gun, seeing as my mother is also calling me non-stop.” I closed my eyes. Right. I had forgotten about his mother. She despised me. Hated me. Hated what I represented. I knew in her eyes, I was never going to be good enough for her son. Not because she loved him and she thought I would break his heart. Oh, no. Simply because I would tarnish the family name and status, because I was born on the wrong side of town, was trash. Having to deal with his mother would understandably make him zone out. They didn’t get along. He put up with her to avoid an argument, but this argument he wasn’t going to be able to ignore.
“Liz, baby, look at me.” I did. “You have nothing to worry about. I don’t care what my parents think. They never gave a shit about me, so it’s none of their business who I’m with. And I’ll deal with Courtney.” He was right. There was nothing I could do anyway. His mother would always hate me, and Courtney came before I was in the picture. I couldn’t concern myself with every single woman that came before me. I had to trust him to deal with it.
“Okay. But just so you know, she shows up and gives me shit, I’ll take her down.” And I would. She had tortured me as a teenager, but I was now a grown woman and would not take her shit anymore. Those times were over. I had left all that behind when I left for college and it sure as hell was not going to fuck with my new life in Boston. Granted, I hadn’t gone that far, only an hour’s drive away, but for me, it felt like I lived in a different universe now.
Cole chuckled and nuzzled my neck. “I know you will. And I won’t stop you. The opposite. I will cheer you on,” he said and started to kiss me, taking my mind off all the crazy bitches in his life and giving me better things to focus on.
We spent the rest of our mini vacation in bed before we had to pack up and head back to the city.
Now was now.
Back to reality.
Cole parked in front of my apartment building and killed the engine but didn’t make a move to get out of the car. Instead, he turned and faced me. I could tell by the look on his face that he wasn’t all fired up to end our weekend, either. He also seemed conflicted about something as he studied me in the dim light of the parking lot. Then determination replaced indecision as he seemed to make up his mind. He cupped my face with his hand and pulled me closer across the console.
“This is gonna sound crazy, but I don’t care. I don’t want this weekend to end, don’t want to drop you off at your place, go home, and sleep without you beside me. I know we are new and in normal relationship terms, this is going really fast. But you and I are not normal, Liz. I want you with me. Every night. I don’t care if we stay at your place or mine, as long as we are together. Though I have to say, I would prefer my bed, seeing as it’s bigger and closer to work.” The last he said through a smile while his thumb was stroking my cheek.
I smiled back at him but wasn’t so sure. I’d had roommates before, during college, and it had never really worked for me. Yes, anything was better than living with my alcoholic drug-addict mother, but still. I preferred to live alone. Not that he had asked me to move in with him, but at the speed we were going, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was what was really on his mind. I wasn’t an expert in relationships and no relationship was the same, but I knew me. I was kind of a loner and needed time for just me sometimes. I was afraid of feeling smothered and disappointing him. But then again, wasn’t this exactly what I had always wanted, what I had dreamed about my whole life since I was ten years old? Having Cole? Him wanting me? Wanting me so much that he couldn’t be without me? God, I was confusing myself.
“Liz, don’t overthink this. I know what’s going on in that head of yours. You’re taking everything apart, overanalyzing it. It’s simple. I want you with me. You want to be with me. Let’s act on that and be together whenever we can. We’ve lost enough time as it is and I’m not willing to waste any more. We’ll spend tonight at your apartment, seeing as we’re already here, and tomorrow night we’ll try mine and see how it goes. Deal?”
He was right. We had lost enough time. I took a deep breath and pushed my anxiety and insecurities aside. “Deal,” I answered on a small smile. Cole grinned at me before he pulled me all the way across the console to give me a quick but deep kiss. “Deal.”