Authors: Cathy MacPhail
‘I don’t think you give your mum a chance,’ Lauren said. ‘You’re always that serious about her.’
‘That’s because she’s always so serious. She’s always going on about being such a loser, nothing ever going right for her. She depresses me. She makes me feel like a loser too.’
‘You! You’ve got to be joking. I used to see you with Erin and them, and you were so full of it. Thought you were something. And you’re trying to tell me you felt like a loser?’
And I remembered how confident I always felt with the Lip Gloss Girls. Sure of myself because I had my friends around me. ‘Is that how I really looked to you?’
‘You better believe it. That’s why none of us liked you. But it’s funny when you think about it, Hannah. I used to hate you, and now that I’ve got to know you … you and I get on really well, don’t we?’
Who would have thought it? I remembered the fights I’d had with Lauren, the way I’d slagged off her hair, and her clothes, the insults she’d traded with me. Now, when I didn’t come to her house, we phoned each other at least ten times a night. Never ran out of things to talk about.
Lauren went on. ‘Do you know what else I think is funny? I want to be just like my mum. And you want to be the exact opposite of yours.’
‘Can you blame me?’
‘I’ve never met your mum, but do you know what I think about her from things you tell me?’
I didn’t want to hear this, so sure she was going to say something negative. Erin always had something negative to say about my mum. ‘I’d rather have my teeth drilled without anaesthetic than have a mum like yours,’ she had once told me. I should have known better with Lauren.
She went on, ‘Your mum seems to be somebody who’s always trying to better herself. You’re always telling us she’s going to classes for this and that. Spanish, and painting, and aerobics.’
‘Trying to make up for not having friends probably.’ I regretted saying that right away.
Just as bad as my mum
, I thought.
Lauren obviously thought the same thing. ‘That’s a really rotten thing to say. You told me your mum always looks for the worst in people. Well, so do you. You’ve just done it with your mum.’
She was so right about that. I felt guilty. ‘I wish I knew how to make her happy, Lauren. I could never understand why she did what she did.’
Lauren knew about my mum. Didn’t everybody in
the town know? I didn’t have to explain what I meant.
‘They say it’s a cry for help.’
A cry for help. ‘I understand that now.’ I didn’t tell Lauren why I understood that. And Lauren didn’t ask. I could talk to her about everything, except that. That would always be my secret, a secret never to be told. There are some secrets you should never share. Perhaps that had been Erin’s mistake, sharing her secret with anyone.
‘Anyway, when am I going to meet her?’ Lauren asked.
None of them had ever been to my house. I’d never had the nerve to invite them. And though she couldn’t keep me in, and didn’t really try, she still moaned constantly at me for going around with the Hell Cats. I knew it worried her.
‘Are you ashamed of us or something?’ Lauren asked.
I giggled. ‘Maybe a bit.’
‘Your mum still not trust us, eh? But she must see you’ve never been in any trouble since you’ve gone about with us, have you? We haven’t even been in any fights.’ She giggled. ‘Mind you, the only ones we ever had real fights with were you lot … the Lip Gloss Girls.’
That made me laugh. ‘We were the same,’ I said. ‘We’d do all the things you do, march along the waterfront, daring the other girls to break us up. They never did. We had a reputation because we were always in fights with you.’ I began to laugh. ‘How crazy is that!’
‘See, the Hell Cats are just a nice bunch of girls really.’ She pouted and fluttered her eyelashes.
I laughed too, until I remembered the cloud hanging over the Hell Cats, and the old woman.
‘There’s something I have to ask you.’ Now, I decided, was as good a time as any. Now, when it was just me and Lauren. I wouldn’t have had the nerve if Wizzie had been there. ‘What about the old woman?’
‘You don’t really think we had anything to do with that?’
‘The police questioned you. They came to the school.’
‘There’s lots of girl gangs on this estate,’ Lauren said. ‘You’ve seen some of them. The police never seriously thought it was us. They questioned lots of girls.’
‘It was because of the knife, wasn’t it?’
Lauren looked genuinely puzzled. ‘What knife?’
‘Everybody knows Wizzie carries a knife.’
She dismissed that with a wave of her hand. ‘Have
you ever seen Wizzie with a knife?’
‘But the scars …’
Lauren didn’t say anything for a moment. ‘Wizzie lives in the worst part of this estate. Even I’m not allowed to go to her house. Her family have got a really bad reputation and there are some really bad gangs round her way. You’ve seen the worst of them, the Black Widows. I think that’s where she gets the scars. She’s in fights with other gangs. But she won’t tell us about it. There’s a lot of things Wizzie doesn’t tell us.’
‘Now that I’ve met you, I wonder why you’re so friendly with Wizzie,’ I said. ‘You’re so different.’
‘Wizzie and I have been mates since primary school. Wizzie was always trying to be tough. But my mum likes Wizzie. She worries about her – so do I. If she didn’t have me …’ Lauren thought about that. ‘If she didn’t have us … I’m scared she would end up in one of those other gangs.’
‘Do you think that could happen?’
Lauren nodded. ‘I think she tries to impress them, show she’s every bit as tough as they are. But she’s not really. She’s a softie.’
Wizzie a softie? No, I decided then. That I would never believe.
Only a couple of nights later, Lauren appeared at my house. She had obviously decided the time to meet my mum was now. I nearly had a heart attack when I opened the door to her. Her hair was tied up in three bunches, she was wearing a long multi-coloured cardigan that stretched down to her knees, black tights with holes in them, and a pair of ankle boots.
Typical Lauren, but my mum had never seen her before. What kind of impression was she going to make?
I couldn’t take my eyes off the cardigan.
‘Like it?’ Lauren asked. ‘My mum knit it.’
‘Is your mum blind as well as deaf?’
That only made Lauren giggle. ‘You’re terrible, Hannah!’
Mum came into the hall just then, a tray of freshly baked shortbread in her hand. She took one look at Lauren and gaped.
Lauren beamed at her. ‘Hello, Mrs Driscoll. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.’
I could see my mum didn’t quite know how to handle this, so I changed the subject immediately. ‘You’ve made some shortbread, Mum.’ I turned to Lauren. ‘My mum makes the best shortbread. Try some.’
I took the tray from Mum’s hands and held it out to Lauren. Lauren picked a piece, already cut into triangles, and popped half of it in her mouth. ‘You’re right, Hannah. That is the best shortbread I’ve ever tasted.’
‘I know it is, but Mum doesn’t think she’s a very good baker.’
‘You could sell that.’ Lauren looked at me. ‘You should take it to the next school fête. Some of the baking people bring would poison you. I don’t know how they’ve got the nerve to try and sell it.’
Mum shrugged. ‘I’m sure my shortbread’s not that special,’ she said, but I could tell she was pleased.
Lauren rattled on. ‘My mum gives me baking to take to the school every year. Doesn’t know I throw it to the birds as soon as I’m out of the house. Mind you, the birds turn their noses up at it as well. Or should that be their beaks?’ She giggled, and I could see Mum wasn’t sure how to take that. Lauren saw it too. ‘My mum’s
brilliant, but she’s the world’s worst baker.’ Lauren bit into the other half of the shortbread. ‘Maybe you could give her lessons, Mrs Driscoll. Can I have another piece?’
When we were in my room I asked her, ‘Is that why you came? So you could suck up to Mum?’
‘Maybe I thought it was time I met her. She’s nice by the way. She’s really pretty.’
I thought about that. She was nice. And she
was
pretty. Always trying to better herself, Lauren had said. And I had never given her any credit for that. Never gave her any credit for anything. Looking after Junior since his mother died, always working hard, always there for me. I felt suddenly ashamed of myself. ‘Suppose she is,’ I said.
Lauren wandered about my room. ‘This is nice. And you’ve got a room to yourself. Lucky!’
‘Are you going to go for the show then?’
Lauren shrugged. ‘I’m thinking about it.’
That made me happy. ‘While you’re thinking about it, you should practise. I’ve got the
Grease
DVD. Want to see it?’
I pulled it from my rack and slipped it in the machine.
‘Just one thing …’ Lauren said seriously. ‘I don’t want Wizzie to know – not till I’ve really decided. OK?’
That was OK by me. I wanted this to be a surprise to everyone. We’d tell Wizzie soon enough, and Grace and Sonya, but as for the rest of the school … the first time they found out would be when Lauren paraded into that auditorium, dressed as Sandy.
Halfway through the film, Mum came in with tea and more shortbread, and sandwiches too. She was showing off, and usually it would embarrass and annoy me. But not this time. Lauren had her laughing, telling her about her mother’s cooking.
‘Please … give my mum the recipe for this shortbread.’ Then Lauren waved her arms about madly. ‘No! Don’t bother. She’d probably add one of her strange ingredients … anchovies or something.’
‘What are you watching?’ Mum asked.
‘
Grease
,’ I said.
‘Your daughter thinks I should go for a part in it. Me?’ Lauren held up her multi-coloured bunches. ‘Can you imagine me!’
‘Not
a
part. The main part. She’s a brilliant singer, Mum.’
Lauren blushed. ‘How could I look like that?’ We
had paused the film right at the scene where Olivia Newton John is singing and looking as sweet as an angel.
‘I think you should go for it,’ Mum said. ‘It’s amazing what a change of clothes and hair can do. In fact, I’ll look out some clothes I’ve got that just might be useful. Never fit you, of course.’
‘My mum’s really handy with a needle. She’d fix them.’ Lauren laughed. ‘You really think I could look like that?’
‘Well, they’re always doing makeovers on television. Why couldn’t you have one?’
And I knew then Lauren would definitely go for the part. Thanks to Mum. They seemed to genuinely like each other!
By the end of that night Lauren had my mum eating out of her hand.
Later, when Lauren had left I went into Mum’s room. She was reading her book in bed. I sat beside her. ‘Thanks, Mum,’ I said. ‘For the shortbread and everything.’
She laid down her book. ‘She seems a nice girl,’ she said.
‘She is. They are, they all are.’
She wasn’t sure about that. But Lauren had made a difference. Mum liked her. Maybe she was thinking – I was sure of it – that if she met the others, she might like them too.
All except Wizzie.
Wizzie was a softie, Lauren had told me. That was even harder to believe just a few nights later when we met at the Mall. One more scar, looking raw. ‘Were you in another fight?’ Lauren asked her.
Wizzie only shrugged. ‘Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.’
Wizzie and her scars. Yes, I decided. I would have to pluck up a lot of courage to bring Wizzie home.
We were still laughing when I saw Erin coming out of Top Shop, doing some late-night shopping. She saw me too. She glanced at me, then just as quickly looked away and kept her eyes straight in front of her. My gaze never left her. She was on her own, clutching her bags close. Nervous. It would have been so easy to confront her, to surround her, make her scared the way she’d made me scared. But all I did was stare. She was bold enough, finally, to look back, and there was something
in her eyes that looked like hate.
I felt Wizzie’s hand on my shoulder. ‘Not worth it,’ she said.
‘I know,’ I said. ‘But I’m going to get her. I’m going to get them all.’
And I was, one by one.
‘And the first one’s going to be Rose,’ I said. ‘I can’t wait to see her face when you win that audition, Lauren.’ It was out before I could stop myself.
There was a sudden silence. I was still staring at Erin’s back as she hurried out of the Mall. I realised at once that I had put my foot right in it. Not just one foot. Both of them. I turned quickly to see Lauren blowing out her cheeks, Grace and Sonya standing back. And Wizzie. She had one hand on her hip, and she was glaring at me.
‘What’s all this about an audition? I thought that was all forgotten.’ She swivelled round to Lauren. ‘Are you doing this behind my back?’
She didn’t wait for Lauren’s answer. She swung right back to me. ‘Your idea? Using us to get back at your old pals.’ She looked round at them all. ‘Come on, can you not see that’s what she’s doing?’
I saw Lauren swallow before she answered her. ‘Well,
we want to get back at them too, Wizzie.’
‘So let’s start a fight with them. But we don’t get them back like this.’ She put on a little girlie voice. ‘Ooo, we’re so bad, we’re going to sing better than them.’ Her voice became harsh again. ‘That’s really going to scare them to death, that is.’
‘Lauren’s a r-really good singer,’ Sonya said.
To my surprise it was Grace who spoke out boldly. ‘So why shouldn’t one of the Hell Cats get a part in their daft show? Lauren’s the best singer in the school.’
That only made Wizzie madder. ‘So every one of you knows about this … except Wizzie. What else are you doing behind my back?’
Lauren tried to protest. But there was nothing any of us could say. Wizzie was right. We had talked about it and decided it behind her back, because we knew this would be her reaction.
Lauren touched her arm and Wizzie pulled away. ‘Come on, Wizzie. We knew you wouldn’t like the idea … I didn’t like it at first, but I’m up for it now.’