Worse Than Boys (13 page)

What had Wizzie done to get free of me? I did the same to Sonya, arching my back, lifting my whole body to send Sonya tumbling off me. I was on her in an instant.

The crowd were going mad, cheering and clapping. I sat astride Sonya, pinning her arms to the ground with my knees, the way I had with Wizzie. Where were the rest of the Hell Cats? I waited for them to jump in, especially Wizzie. But they didn’t. They stood together, watching me, and I couldn’t tell what they were thinking. I looked from them to the mad cheering crowd. I could see Erin and the rest, ashen-faced. They were standing well at the back. But my eyes only flicked past them.

I looked round at everyone else, relishing the moment. Watching their faces – amazed, and pleased for me too.

I lifted my hand in the air, thumbs up, then I turned
it slowly so my thumb was down, just as if we were in a Roman arena and I was a gladiator.

It was to be the crowd’s decision what happened next, and they knew it.

There was a lull in the cheering, then with a roar that almost split my eardrums, almost every hand was held in the air, thumbs up.

And then they went wild.

Sonya began to struggle again. ‘Thank God for that!’ she shouted. ‘Now get off me!’

I leapt to my feet and turned to look round at everyone again. Then I took a slow bow to the cheers and the applause.

It was a wonderful moment.

I knew I had won more than a fight that day.

Chapter Thirty-Three

I got home before Mum and had my bloodstained clothes (their blood not mine, I’m glad to say) in the washing machine and dried even before she came in. I was in my pyjamas sitting in front of the TV when she first noticed my face. My eye was swollen and my cheek was covered in scratches.

‘What happened to you?’ She said it in a what’s-she-going-to-tell-me-now? kind of tone.

‘I fell in PE. Right off the wall bars.’ The lie came easily and I could see the relief in her face. She didn’t even question it.

‘Did you have a good day? Did you have any more trouble?’

‘No trouble at all. In fact, I had a brilliant day.’

She looked as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. You hear that expression all the time, but you don’t think what it really means. But I watched my
mum stand straighter. Her face brightened, and I suppose for the first time I realised just how worried she must have been about me.

‘You see, sometimes your mother can do something right. That’s because I went up to the school. That’s what’s made them stop.’

And perhaps she was right. Mum going up to the school had been the thing that changed everything.

The last straw for me.

‘I think that is what made the difference, Mum,’ I told her. And she beamed at me.

‘Really?’ She looked so happy, I felt like crying. ‘I’m so glad about that.’

Mum and I had a lovely night together. She made shortbread, and she makes the best shortbread in the world, though she never believes it. We watched a horror film on video. I just knew everything was going to be different now, because I was going to make it different. Even with my mum. I understood now how you can get to such a point of despair you just want to end it, to sleep for ever. When it had happened to Mum a doctor had told me it was a cry for help. I didn’t understand what he meant then, but I did now. She had cried for help, and no one, certainly not me, had reached out to help her.

* * *

Next day, when I walked into school, every eye was on me. And there was something in their gaze that hadn’t been there for a long time.

Respect.

Nobody likes a wimp. And I had been a wimp for too long.

It still made me angry, thinking about how I had let my so-called friends treat me. How I’d behaved too. Never again. I would have my revenge somehow.

Zak and his mates were all gathered together in the corridor. He couldn’t resist a quip. ‘Hey, Driscoll, good to see the old Hannah back. Where have you been hiding her?’

Had it been so plain to see that even Zak Riley had noticed it?

‘She’s been on holiday. But she’s back, for good,’ I snapped back, and I swept past him.

Mrs Tasker stormed into class, and she was livid. Her eyes settled on me. ‘There have been reports of a fight near this school yesterday. I believe some of our pupils were involved, and to make matters worse, those pupils were girls.’

This set the whole class laughing. Zak shouted up to her, ‘Mrs Tasker, it’s not lassies we’ve got in this school, it’s the devil’s daughters.’

Mrs Tasker went spare. ‘This is no laughing matter!’ she yelled and we all shut up. ‘Hannah. What happened to your face?’

‘Walked into a door, Mrs Tasker,’ I said at once.

She looked even madder. Her eyes moved to Wizzie. Today Wizzie’s nose was like a beetroot stuck on her face, same colour too. ‘And what happened to you?’

‘I walked into the same door. We should be suing for compensation. That’s a really dangerous door.’

The class erupted in laughter again, and it took Mrs Tasker ages to get any order back. Meanwhile, Wizzie turned to look at me, and for the first time there wasn’t any malice in her gaze, just curiosity. She waited for me as we left class. ‘Want to meet up wi’ us later?’

‘For another fight? How many times do you want me to beat you?’

‘We let you win. Felt sorry for you.’

‘In your dreams, McLeod. Anyway, what do you want to talk to me about?’

Grace butted in. ‘I’m just telling you now, Driscoll, this isn’t my idea.’

‘Shut up, Grace,’ Wizzie turned back to me. ‘Meet us at the bus shelters after school.’

I didn’t want to. Didn’t want anything more to do with the Hell Cats. But I was curious. What could they possibly want to talk to me about? Giving them boxing lessons?

Mrs Tasker wanted to talk to me too. She came running down the corridor after me and pulled me back. Yesterday I would have been mortified if she’d done that. Everyone seeing her singling me out? Not today. Today I stood tall. ‘Are you going to tell me what happened, Hannah? I know you were involved in that fight. Did that lot jump you, or what?’

‘I told you, Mrs Tasker, it was an accident.’ I stared straight into her face as if it was all the truth.

‘How can I help you if you don’t confide in me?’

But I didn’t need her help now. It was too late. ‘Honest, I’m fine.’

She shook her head in disgust. ‘Are you frightened to grass on them? They’ll never know you told me. I won’t let them know.’

That almost made me smile. Here I was in the corridor with her, with all eyes on us. They’d never know … ? I don’t think.

‘Everything’s sorted now,’ I said.

Now she really did look mad. ‘If that’s your attitude I don’t see how you can expect any help.’ And she stormed away from me.

Too little, too late, I thought and then I forgot about her. I forgot about everything except what Wizzie wanted to talk to me about after school.

They were all there waiting for me at the bus stop. Was I afraid? No. They didn’t look threatening. Wizzie was lounging against the wall. Lauren was sitting on her rucksack. Grace and Sonya were muttering together, about me, I was sure. They didn’t want to have this talk with me at all.

I stopped dead in front of them. No fear. ‘OK, what’s this about?’

‘I d-d-don’t like you,’ Sonya said.

‘Feeling’s mutual,’ I said.

‘I don’t like you either,’ Grace said, sticking up for her friend.

‘Just because I kicked your butt?’ I pretended to study it. ‘Mind you, it would be hard to miss. It’s a big target.’

Wizzie actually laughed. Even Lauren managed a smile. But Grace swayed on her feet, and if Wizzie hadn’t
been there I was sure she would have flown at me.

‘See you, Driscoll – you’ve got style.’ I was totally gobsmacked when Wizzie said that. ‘That took a lot of guts to take us on yesterday.’

Grace tutted and Wizzie turned on her. ‘Be honest, Grace. That did take a lot of guts.’

But Grace wasn’t about to give in. ‘I’d like to have seen them spread out over the road,’ she said.

‘Don’t listen to Grace. She’s really a softie at heart. Anyway,’ Wizzie went on, ‘me and the lassies have been talking, and we’ve got a proposition for you.’ She paused, watched for my reaction to her next words. ‘How would you like to become a Hell Cat?’

Chapter Thirty-Four

For a moment I thought I’d heard her wrong. Or maybe I was dreaming. Had Wizzie really asked me to join her gang? I was so taken aback I didn’t know what to say. Just stood there, staring.

Wizzie started waving her hands about in front of my face. ‘Hello! Is anybody in?’ She looked at Lauren. ‘The lights are on but nobody’s home.’

It seemed ages before I found my voice. ‘You’re asking me to join your gang?’

‘Count me out of this!’ Grace snapped the words out, too close to my face. ‘I think it’s the worst idea they’ve ever had.’

‘They’? So it wasn’t just Wizzie’s idea.

‘I’m wi’ Grace on this.’ Sonya moved a step closer to Grace.

‘See, Grace and Sonya are against it. And me and Lauren are for it. And because this is a democracy … majority wins.’

‘It was an equal vote,’ I reminded her. ‘Two against two.’

Wizzie just shrugged. ‘Aye, but I arm-wrestled them for the other vote. And I’m bigger than they are.’ She wasn’t actually. She was the smallest of the lot, tiny in size and build, but there was something about Wizzie that made her seem bigger. ‘So … what’s your answer?’

‘What’s the catch?’ There had to be a catch. I was sure of it.

‘You’re a good fighter,’ Lauren said.

‘I don’t want to spend all my time fighting.’

‘Neither do we.’ Grace still sounded as if she’d like to grab me by the hair and drag me along the street. ‘We always have a great laugh, the whole lot of us. Brilliant mates we are. Not like your nancy pals. Ooo, the Lip Gloss Girls.’ She pretended to put lipstick on her big horsey lips.

But we’d had brilliant times too … ‘They’re not my pals,’ I reminded them.

‘Well, there ye are. You’ve not got any mates. We could be your mates.’ Wizzie said it as if it was an offer I’d be mad to refuse.

‘What would I want you lot for my mates for?’

‘Desperation?’ Lauren suggested.

I turned on her. ‘I’d have to be desperate to join your gang.’

‘What did I tell you?’ Grace turned on Wizzie angrily. ‘What do we want her for?’

‘Give me one good reason why I should join the Hell Cats.’

Wizzie grinned. ‘I’ll give you a great one. Because you want to watch that Erin’s face when she sees you walking into that canteen wi’ us.’

And at that moment, they had me. I knew then I wouldn’t say no. I shrugged casually and told them I’d let them know my decision next day at school – but that decision was already made.

I was going to join the Hell Cats.

Chapter Thirty-Five

In my dreams that night I pictured Erin’s face when she first saw me with them. What a moment that would be. I woke up and still knew it was the right thing to do. The right thing because it would annoy Erin so much. But it had to be done in the right way.

It had to be the perfect moment for her to find out. I went through all the possibilities in my mind. I imagined myself standing with the Hell Cats at the school gates, pictured Erin stepping off her bus and practically falling over us – saw the look on her face, shock, horror …

But no, just not dramatic enough.

Then I pictured the scene in class when I would suddenly turn to Wizzie and say nonchalantly, ‘So, where are we going tonight?’

No, she could miss that completely. Erin might be polishing her claws at that point.

At last I figured out the best time for them to find out. Just as good old Wizzie had said. In the canteen, so that the whole school could witness the great moment.

I could hardly wait for lunchtime next day. I was deliberately late for school because I didn’t want to see anyone outside the gates. I didn’t even glance at any of them in class. I blanked everyone, waiting for my moment. If watching films had taught me anything, it was how to make an entrance.

I was almost the last pupil into the canteen. I collected my tray and waited in the queue for food. I didn’t look at anyone, didn’t talk to anyone either. Then I began the long walk to a table. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. For so long I’d felt such a fool trying to find a table that would actually have me. Usually I tripped and could hear all the murmured giggles. I didn’t feel a fool today. I walked straight-backed and full of confidence right past Erin and the rest at our table.

No. Not our table. Not now. It would never be our table again.

They pretended not to look, but I knew as soon as I walked on by their gazes would follow me, wondering where I was going to sit.

The Hell Cats had a table too. They never ate off it.
They sat on top of it, or lay along it, or rested their feet on it. Today Wizzie was lying across the table on her belly, leaning her face on her hands, watching me heading towards them. She was always in trouble for it, but she didn’t care. Grace and Sonya were sitting on either side of her, throwing cake at each other. Lauren wasn’t even looking my way. She was sitting on the table too, eating an apple.

And I stopped right beside them.

I could feel everyone in the canteen hold their breath, expecting trouble. Wondering what was going to happen next.

I could almost hear the communal gasp at what did happen.

‘You’re only allowed to sit here if you’re one of us,’ Wizzie said.

I looked at Grace. ‘Move your lardass, Grace, I’m sitting.’ And I plonked myself down beside her.

Grace moved up. Wizzie slid on to the seat beside her. Lauren looked up and smiled. They moved up. They welcomed me in.

And I sat down.

It was a great moment. There, in front of the whole school, they were letting everyone know I belonged,
and I was letting everyone see where my loyalties would lie from now on.

Why did I always think like the movies? During that long walk, it was as if the sound had been turned down, I couldn’t hear anything. As soon as I sat down the noise of the canteen at lunchtime was switched up to full blast.