Where Loyalty Lies (37 page)

I swallowed. It was becoming difficult to keep my composure. I’d seen Saul in a bad mood, I’d seen him lose his temper, but brutal and merciless weren’t words I associated with his name.

“Of course,” Ian continued, “nobody was there to witness the night of the Reapers’ Massacre, that’s why some people still choose to believe it never happened.”

“Massacre?” I said, momentarily forgetting that I shouldn’t be interested. I didn’t miss the glint in Ian’s eye.

“You mean nobody has told you about what happened to the Reapers?”

“No,” I said. “What did happen?”

“Well, that depends on who it is you’re asking,” Ian replied. He leant back in his seat and I could tell he was waiting for me to beg him for details. He was in for a long wait. This was a classic example of the little power struggles I had to endure with vampires every day. If I acted too interested and pleaded to hear more of the story, it would make me seem childish and weak. If this story really was as big as he was making it out to be, I could ask anyone about it. The simple fact was that Ian wanted to be the one to tell me, more than I wanted to hear it.

I slowly leaned back in my seat, keeping my gaze on Ian and a calm look on my face that told him I wouldn’t be bending to his demands. The room filled with a screaming silence and I had to work hard not to move a muscle. I knew that these small, silent battles were vital, because it was imperative that I earned respect.

I won through and Ian finally accepted defeat by leaning forward and continuing his story.

“For as long as The Sénat’s been around, there have always been anarchist groups who oppose The Sénat and who choose to live by their own laws.”

I nodded, thinking of Incorruptus.

“Well one of these groups was called the Reapers. For a long time they weren’t considered much of a threat until about two hundred years ago when they started openly opposing and attacking followers of The Sénat. Despite their small numbers, the Reapers got stronger and stronger and many believed they would eventually overthrow The Sénat. Twenty years or so after the Reapers started becoming powerful, Saul disappeared. Back then he wasn’t top enforcer but he was still renowned for being good at his job. Nobody heard from him for twelve years and it was assumed he was dead. Then one night a large fight broke out between enforcers from both sides. The Reapers’ enforcers won and only a handful of ours returned, bringing with them the news that Saul had been spotted and was now on the side of the Reapers.”

 “So he turned traitor against The Sénat?” I asked, wondering how this story could ever end with Saul living happily back here.

“That’s what it seemed like. For over one hundred years Saul fought for the Reapers, killing men he’d once called friends. Then one day he showed up outside the gates of our base in Russia, covered in blood and barely able to stand. He was arrested on sight and days later The Sénat called a meeting in which they announced that Saul’s entire time with the Reapers had been part of a top secret assignment in which he’d been commanded to bring them down from the inside.”

Ian paused, letting me take in what he’d just told me. Then he leaned in close and lowered his voice.

“You may think it makes him sound heroic but what you need to understand is that during his time with the Reapers, he had to make them believe he wasn’t a spy for The Sénat. In those hundred years, he made friendships and earned the trust of the Reapers. He lived in their home, attended their functions, slept with their women and got them all to have faith in him. He was like family to them and then, one night when he was sure every member was present, he murdered them all. Apparently he spiked their drinks with arsenic. You know that’s not enough to kill a vampire, but it’s enough to slow them down. Saul beheaded or staked every single one of them and then got in a car and drove to Russia. That’s how he earned the nickname, Soulless.”

I was about to lose control. I got up to go and stand near a window. I felt hot and sick; it took everything I had to stop myself hyperventilating. Surely this couldn’t be true? That image of Saul didn’t fit with the man who’d taken me to the abandoned house and kissed me in the rain.

“That’s how he became top enforcer?” I asked.

Richard chose this moment to join the conversation. “Yes, but there are a lot of people who believe that Saul’s not what he seems. They believe that, instead of betraying the Reapers, he’s in fact planning to betray us.”

“I don’t understand,” I said.

A sly look took over Richard’s face. “No bodies were ever found. To stop humans finding the remains, Saul torched the place just before he left. By the time our enforcers got there, nothing was left but the burnt shell of a building and a whole lot of ash. There are some who believe that, during his time with the Reapers, Saul really did convert. They think he told the Reapers’ rulers about his undercover mission and that, instead of being dead, all the members are actually in hiding, waiting.”

“Waiting for what?” I asked.

“Waiting for Saul to work his way up and become trusted by The Sénat so that he can take us down from the inside. Then, when we’re at our weakest, the Reapers can come in and finish us off.”

“Saul’s trusted,” I pointed out. “And going by your dates, Saul’s been back here as top enforcer for, what, about seventy years? Surely he’s about as trusted as he could be?”   

Ian shrugged and I could tell he was unhappy that I was sticking up for Saul. I wasn’t entirely sure why I was, but I couldn’t help feeling like I was hearing a very biased version of events.

“I’m only telling you what some people think. Plus there is the situation with Alina.”

This time Ian knew he had my interest.

“Who’s Alina?” I asked.

“She was one of the Reapers’ finest enforcers; it’s said that she and Saul hit it off immediately. They made quite a team and some say she was his mate.”

“His mate?” I couldn’t help but echo his words stupidly. I thought back to what Holt had told me about mates. He’d said they were lifelong bonds, like soul mates.

“That’s right. And if she was his mate, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her, including changing sides and bringing down The Sénat.”

I stood looking out of the window, needing a moment to compose myself. I’d always known that it was stupid of me to have fallen for Saul when I hardly knew him, but it was suddenly very clear just how much I didn’t know him.

It had been just over two weeks since I’d found the half-breed book and I’d decided enough was enough. There was a question I needed to know the answer to and I knew who it was I wanted to ask.

I took in a deep breath and pressed the intercom buzzer. Holt answered and the first thing I noticed was how weary he looked. His hair was unkempt and there were dark shadows under his eyes that made him look older. The second thing I noticed was his relief at seeing me.

He pulled open the door and motioned me to come in.  I smiled despite the difficult conversation I knew would be coming.

“I’m glad you came to see me,” Holt said, crossing to his bar which was easily three times the size of the one in my room. He held up a glass but I shook my head.  After pouring a whisky for himself he led me across the room and into the small room with the sofa that we always sat on when I stopped by.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been by sooner.”

“That’s okay,” Holt said. “Like I said in my letter, I understand that you need time to process things.”

I grimaced. “Actually I didn’t read any of the letters.”

Holt’s mouth tightened. “I suppose I should have guessed that. Well, I’m glad you’re here now.”

“I understand why you didn’t tell me,” I said. “I know you thought it would be best for me, but it was such a shock. Then, after I read that book, I just couldn’t handle the viciousness of it. The thought of what had happened to all those people, it’s just...” I trailed off, not able to find a word that summed up how I felt.

Holt said nothing; he knew I needed to get this off my chest.

“I know now why that vampire tried to kill me; he was from Incorruptus and, if he’d succeeded, I’d have been murdered for no other reason than for who my parents were. I hate the fact that there are people here at Rillith who probably wish I had been killed that night; who hate what I am.”

Holt put his glass down and took my hand. “I can’t deny there are people here who think like that, but I can assure you they’re in a minority. Most of those people chose to leave the ruling of The Sénat when that law was changed. Every country in the world has extremists who’ll always have harsh ways of viewing the world, but I wouldn’t have brought you to Rillith if I didn’t think it was somewhere you could be happy.”

“I am happy,” I said. “Well, I haven’t been the last couple of weeks, but I was happy and I know I will be again. But there’s something I have to ask you.”

Holt nodded. “You know you can ask me anything.”

I did know that, but it didn’t make it any easier. After chewing on my bottom lip for a moment I forced it out, hoping his answer would be the one I was so desperate to hear.

“The book… it said that the people who used to kill half-breeds were enforcers. I know you used to be an enforcer and I need to know if you... if you ever did?”

The question was barely out of my mouth before Holt was shaking his head.

“No, Faine, I’d never have done that.” He looked so aghast that I hurried to explain.

“I didn’t know if you’d have been given a choice.”

“I can promise you that I never did anything of the kind.”

I let out a long sigh of relief. “What about Henry? And Saul?”

“No, I’d never have introduced you to somebody who’d done that. Christ, I’m not that cold-hearted.”

Now I felt really guilty. “I’m sorry, but I had to ask.”

We lapsed into silence but this time it was more relaxed. I sank back into the sofa.

I hated that I’d ever thought badly of Holt when he’d done so much for me. As I looked at him, his worn appearance bothered me. Holt caught me studying him and he ran a hand through his hair, trying to straighten it out.

I wondered if I should ask what was wrong or if I should just keep my nose out. Before I’d reached a conclusion, Holt started talking.

“Are you really happy here?” he asked.

“Yes,” I answered honestly.

“Even with all the tests you’re going through?”

“Yes,” I said again.

I was starting to worry that Holt was having second thoughts about whether he should have brought me here. He leant forward and held both my hands in his.

“I need you to be honest with me, Faine. I won’t be upset if you say you’d rather not be here. You mustn’t feel trapped. If you want to leave, then I can help. I can take you anywhere in the world you’d like to live and set you up with everything you need to live a good, safe life. Don’t think about The Sénat, Incorruptus or anyone else; just tell me what you want.”

Holt looked slightly crazed and, for a minute, all I could do was stare. I felt terrible. The last two weeks had clearly had an astounding effect on him. He was sure I was miserable and now he was upset because he was the one who’d brought me here. It was time for some damage control. I owed it to him.

“I am happy, I promise. It’s hard work but I don’t mind that because it’s worth it. Right now, I feel like I know only a tiny fraction of everything I should, but I’d rather be here in the middle of it all than back in Hull carrying on with a pointless life.”

Holt’s eyes flicked over me. I bet he was wishing Henry or Saul were here so that he could find out if I was telling the truth or just trying to make him feel better.

“Would you still feel like that if The Sénat declared you to be human and wanted you to live with the staff?”

I considered that point. It would bother me, but only because I wouldn’t be able to continue with my plan of improving vampire-human relations.

“If that happens then I still get to live at Rillith; I’ll still be among people who understand what I am and that’s a hell of a lot better than how I was living.”

Holt nodded, probably remembering my dump of an apartment. His next question surprised me; it wasn’t something I’d ever talked about with anyone.

“Does being here make you think about your parents?” His gaze was heavy on me and I stared out of the window without actually seeing anything.

“Of course it does,” I murmured. “It would be impossible not to.” I chewed on my bottom lip again. “I grew up thinking they didn’t want me. Then, when I started to realise I was different, I thought that must be the reason they’d given me up, because they knew there would be something wrong with me. Now, after reading that book, I keep wondering if maybe they gave me up for my own good? Maybe they knew Incorruptus would find out about me and so they thought it would be safer to leave me with Mary.” I gave a bitter laugh. “Doesn’t that sound pathetic? The orphan dreaming that maybe her parents did actually give a damn about her, maybe they just loved her so much they had to leave her for her own safety.” I shook my head.

“That could be true,” Holt said gently. "When they gave you to Mary, did they leave anything? Like a letter to explain their reason?"

My bubble of hopefulness popped. Surely if my parents had chosen to leave me with Mary because they cared about me so much they would have at least bothered to leave a note. Something to tell me how much they loved me, that leaving me was the hardest thing they'd ever had to do and they would miss me every single day. But there was nothing so I was guessing that some bastard vampire had knocked up a woman, not found out that she was pregnant until it was too late to Influence her into having an abortion. Then because he was too much of a coward to tell The
Sénat
what he'd done, he waited until I was born and then dumped me on a doorstep almost as far away from Rillith as he could get without leaving the country. If that was the case then who knew what my mother's part had been in it all. Had she been as desperate to get rid of me as my father had? Or had she cried and screamed when my father had taken me? If the latter was true then there was a very good chance that she had since been Influenced into forgetting that she'd even had a baby. Was that really my parents? A father who couldn't wait to get rid of me and a mother who couldn't even remember having me?