Where Loyalty Lies (22 page)

I grinned up at Saul. “It’s beautiful.”

“You don’t mind going on the back?” he asked, pointing to his bike.

I shook my head. Was he kidding? It was something I’d always longed to do and the fact that I’d be snuggled up to Saul made it even better. “As long as there’s no racing with Henry, that was bad enough in a car.”

If Saul was surprised by my willingness, he didn’t show it. Henry was back now and he eyed my bounty.

“Well, that’s lucky. Turns out my boot is a tad on the small side. Most of your bags are on the front seat.”

I missed another conversation as I ransacked the third and final bag. It revealed a pair of blue leather gloves and a black scarf.

I handed over my handbag to Henry who left, roaring off down the high street. I think he must have been glad to be able to go and have some fun in it without worrying about a sickly passenger.

Saul helped me get all the stuff on and then he disposed of the rubbish. I felt a little silly wearing so much protective gear when all he had on was his sunglasses, but my excitement overrode my discomfort.

Saul got on and indicated for me to climb up behind him. A thrill ran through me as I gently put my hands on his waist and held on. I decided not to grab him too tightly because I didn’t want him to think I was a wimp. That thought was soon forgotten as he pulled away and started weaving in and out of the traffic. I wrapped my arms around him and held on for dear life. He wasn’t going that fast but I was suddenly all too aware that there was no metal shell between me and the road to protect me.

When we broke away from the town I started to relax. There was no more swerving from side to side and I let myself enjoy it. Fifteen minutes later all my fears were forgotten and I never wanted to get off. I was still aware of the road flying past underneath us but now it created a rush of adrenaline that I soaked up. I hadn’t had a rush like this in ages. I wanted to throw my arms out and feel the wind beneath them but I knew better than to do that and it would have meant letting go of Saul which was something I really didn’t want to do.

As we passed a lake, I frowned. There had been no lake on the way to Inverness. I wondered if our destination had been mentioned while I was opening my presents and I told myself that I’d have to start paying more attention. For now there wasn’t anything I could do, so I just sat back and enjoyed myself.

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when Saul finally slowed to a stop. He’d made a few turns on our journey but we seemed to be even further away from civilisation than Rillith was. The last road we’d come down had been smaller and seemingly unused. Now we’d reached a dead end – a small patch of gravel surrounded by woodland.

My legs felt a little worn and tingly so I stretched them out as Saul wheeled the bike off the gravel and under the cover of the trees. While his back was to me, I pulled off my helmet and shook my hair out, hoping it looked dishevelled in a sexy sort of way rather than just a mess. I placed my helmet on the seat of the bike, unzipped my jacket and looked around. There was nothing to see. Just trees, trees and more trees.

“Where are we?” I asked.

“You want me to tell you, or do you just want to wait and see?”

I had a feeling that he wouldn’t tell me anyway so I started walking in the direction he was heading. There was a path worn into the grass and I wondered if this was somewhere he came often. I hoped it was. The thought of him bringing me to a place that he liked to spend his time made a grin want to spread itself across my face and I had to work hard to hide it.

The forest grew denser around us and, although Saul was careful to hold branches back for me and make sure I didn’t trip, I began to realise that I was in a forest, with nobody around for miles and I didn’t even have my mobile phone because I’d left it in my bag.

“You know, I’m not sure what things were like back in your times but in this day and age, a guy bringing a girl out into the middle of a deserted forest usually indicates that he wants to do one of two things, and seeing as one of those things is murder I’m thinking that maybe you should be giving me some sort of hint as to what exactly we’re doing here.”

Saul didn’t answer my query. Instead he asked, “What’s the second thing?”

I couldn’t tell from the back of his head, but I got the impression he was smiling.

“You know damn well what it is,” I muttered and then I crashed straight into him as he stopped and turned to face me. He reached out to grab me and held onto my arms, even when I was steady again.

“Yes, I do know,” he said.

My heart raced. I thought about how close his mouth was to mine and I made a massive effort not to let my eyes flick down to his lips, in case he guessed what I was thinking.

“Do you really think I’d do either of those things to you?” he asked.

My exhilaration plummeted. I couldn’t believe he’d just said that. Sure, it was nice to know he wasn’t planning on murdering me, but did he have to make the other thing sound like it would be so awful? My humiliation was accompanied by prickles of anger.

“It’s not like it matters anyway. I wouldn’t let you get away with either one.”

I shrugged his hands off and marched past him, grateful that the path was a little more worn here so at least I knew I was stomping in the right direction. Talk about mixed signals. Since the Autumn Ball I’d seen Saul numerous times and I’d always thought there was a mutual attraction there. Had I misjudged his feelings so much? He always seemed to be watching me, though. Paranoia set in and I wondered if maybe he saw his relationship with me in the same light that Henry did. Maybe I’d been making a complete fool of myself.

As I passed a protruding branch, I held it back so that it wouldn’t flick back and hit Saul, but I really needed an excuse to see his face, to try to work out if he really did just want to be friends. As I turned, I found that he was indeed staring at me and his look was dark and intense. I heaved a sigh of relief. That was definitely not a “let’s just be friends” look. It was a good job really because, if it had been, I think I’d have let that branch go so that it smacked him right in the face. It would have saved me a job.

My inward turmoil continued all the way up the hill. I knew Saul could sense what I was feeling but I didn’t care. In fact I was glad. Let him see how pissed at him I was. The woods began to thin and the path became less obvious.  Every now and then Saul’s hand would reach out and nudge me a couple of inches over to stop me from going the wrong way but that was the only communication between us.

When we finally emerged from the woods and stepped out onto a grassy hill, I stopped to take off my jacket. The October air was chilly but, after my trek, I welcomed its coolness. I was just trying to work out the easiest way to carry it when Saul took it from me and folded it over his arm.

“Thank you,” I said. “So which way now?”

“Just up the top of this hill,” Saul answered and we walked side by side in the direction he’d pointed.

Halfway up I could see the top of a stone structure and I quickened my pace, eager to see what it was. It turned out to be a house or, more accurately, the ruin of a house. It was made of grey stone and although the walls were upright, the roof had patches that had fallen through. The sash windows were all broken and covered in many years’ worth of dirt. A lot of people might have been disappointed that they’d come such a long way to see an old ruin but I was fascinated. It was in the middle of nowhere with no roads or pathways leading to it and my imagination went into overdrive. Why had someone built a house here, so far away from everything?

“Is it safe to go in?” I asked.

“Yes, just be careful on the front steps; the wood has rotted through in places.”

I picked a path up the stairs and when I got to the front door I stopped. It was clear that nobody lived here but it still felt rude to barge in. Luckily Saul didn’t have such inhibitions and he pushed the door open. Everything was in a complete state of disrepair. The walls and floor were made of stone, the same shade of grey as outside. Bits of broken furniture lay scattered in places which offered clues as to what the rooms had been used for. A large wooden table with only one leg was in a room I thought was a kitchen. A bookcase with no shelves made me think of a study. I carefully made my way through a doorway into a room at the back and stopped in my tracks. A huge window looked out over the back of the property and now I knew why this house had been built here.

The view was incredible. The hill sloped down steeply. I hadn’t realised how high we were but, now I thought about it, we’d been walking uphill most of the time. In the distance was a lake; its water was like a mirror reflecting the beauty all around it. I wondered if the owner of this house had often gone for a dip in the lake in the summer. Trees grew on the tops of the surrounding hills; their leaves burnt in shades of red and orange. I tried to think of when I’d last seen something as breathtaking as this, but there was nothing.

Saul moved up to stand beside me. As we looked out, it started to rain, hard and heavy. I was grateful that this particular window wasn’t broken.

“It’s so stunning,” I finally said.

Saul frowned slightly. “It would be nicer if it wasn’t raining.”

I shook my head. “No, it’s perfect. I love the rain.” I inwardly winced at my words. It was the truth; I really did love the rain but somehow saying it out loud sounded like I was trying to be romantic.

“Nobody loves the rain, except for farmers,” Saul said.

“I do,” I insisted. “I’m not really sure why. It would be nice to have a deep meaningful reason for it, but I don’t. I love it when it’s stormy outside and you’re all cosy inside, when you’re out with an umbrella and you can hear it hitting down just above your head but you’re still dry, and I even love it when you get caught out and it splashes down onto your skin and soaks your clothes.” I stopped, suddenly aware that I was talking out loud, and I chanced a look at Saul to see if he was staring at me like I was a crazy person. His expression was unreadable and, before I could try to figure it out, he turned and left the room.

I mentally chided myself, thinking that he’d left so that he could distance himself from my incessant rambling, but then he came back in carrying a bench. I had no idea where he’d got it from but, taking in its slightly sorry appearance, I assumed that it belonged to the house.

Saul placed it just in front of the window and we both sat on it looking out at the rain.

“Well I’m sorry I can’t offer you ‘cosy’ but I’m definitely not going to let you get soaked walking back to the bike so, for now, we’ll just have to sit here and hope it eases off before we have to leave,” he said.

I kept my gaze on the view. “Sounds good to me.” There was a moment of silence that, for my part, felt comfortable and then I asked, “How did you find this place?”

“I just stumbled across it one day,” Saul answered.

I waited for him to continue but he didn’t. So I did.

“So do you know anything about who built it or who owns it?”

“I’ve never seen anyone else here, or any signs that anyone visits it, so I imagine it’s just been forgotten over time. Good job really because, if someone did find it, I’m sure they’d knock it down and build some modern monstrosity here in its place.”

I nodded in agreement. I was sure people would kill to have a view like this from their home. I wanted to ask if he came here a lot and if he’d ever brought anyone else here but common sense made me stop.

I thought maybe he might not want to answer the first question and maybe I might not like the answer to the second.

We lapsed into silence again and I studied the effect of the rain. The leaves were billowing in the wind, making them look like flames that were engulfing the trees. The mirror-top of the lake had been shattered and the ripples scattering across its surface gave the impression that the lake was boiling. It was a very different scene to moments ago and I thought that, if you lived here all year round, the scene would look different every single day.

I peeked a look at Saul to see if he was enjoying it as much as I was and found that he was watching me again.

He must like me
, I told myself. You couldn’t look at somebody like that if you didn’t like them.

His hand came up and he tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. I tried to remind myself to breathe. My mouth suddenly felt dry and I wanted desperately to lick my lips but I was worried he would see it as some sort of signal. His hand was still at my neck and he swept his thumb gently across my cheek.

I was so swept up in the moment, I almost sighed. But then a thought popped into my head.
I wonder how many women he’s done that to
? It seemingly came from nowhere but, nevertheless, it had come through loud and clear.

The problem wasn’t that he’d been with other women. I knew that, when you’d been alive as long as Saul, it was inevitable that you’d rack up quite a number. The problem was that, although it was clear Saul liked me, I might be a passing fancy for him. I might just be his next number and nothing more. For me it was so much more.

I’d had three relationships in my life and they’d all been semi-serious. They’d all been nice enough guys, otherwise I’d never have dated and slept with them, but as much as I’d tried, I’d never been able to fall in love with them. Although I hadn’t known about my Attraction back then, I’d always known that there was something unnatural about how much they loved me. I’d wanted so much to get caught up in the desperate whirlwind of emotions that people talked about when they fell in love, but it had never happened for me. All three guys had proposed, had told me how desperate they were to spend their lives with me, but it had never felt right. I had known that the proposals had more to do with wanting to get a ring on my finger to mark me as taken and to make sure that I wasn’t just going to run away. It might have been because I never knew if the guy I was seeing was really attracted to me, or just caught up in the same emotion that most guys felt when they saw me or it maybe it was just because I hadn’t found the right person, but I had always felt like I was just going through the motions.