Where did your heart go? (The Heart Trilogy Book 1) (45 page)

“But some how she did with that invitation to their wedding” Sarah replied. “What a complete bitch” I nodded in agreement and took a sip of coffee.

“So what else happened?” she asked
.

“I told him
a little about New Year’s Eve and showed him my scars and I watched him almost break apart in front of me” I replied “Then he kissed me” I finished. I could feel the blush already staining my cheeks with heat at my admission.

Sarah leaned forward a little more and took my hand in hers
.

“If you still love him then I think you should give him a second chance” she said “It will just depend on whether the trust has been broken with his infidelity and if you can over come that” she finished. Looking up we spotted Chris heading back towards the table.

“Thanks Sarah, I’ve told him I need time to think about everything” I replied.

“So girls are you ready to take your seats, the show is about to start” Chris said, grinnin
g and holding out both his arms for us.

Walking into the auditorium I could feel the nervous tension permeating the air around us. Everyone was in the same seats as I spotted James in his just in front of us. He turned to scan the audience and located me and gave me the fingers crossed sign for our respective children. I returned the gesture and felt myself smiling and blushing again like a teenager. I knew it was no good denying my feelings for him, they were still there and they were still strong. I just needed to be sure that his for me were the same. The lights dimmed and everyone sat expectantly in the darkness waiting for the stage lights to illuminate the arena. I spotted the judges filing in to their seats at the front and realised that one was Arlene Phillips from Strictly Come Dancing. I pointed this out to Sarah as we tried to contain our excitement against our jangling nerves.

The first group dropped one of their dancers at the wrong moment and I could hear the collective groan from their supporters in the audience. They carried on regardless and for that they still received loud applause as they bowed at the end. I found that I was on the edge of my seat now as the curtains fell and then after a few moments they rose again to reveal a set that was breathtaking in itself. Derelict planes painted onto the backdrop and what looked like a plane wing at an angle. I knew that this hid the steps that Charlotte would climb near the end before throwing herself into Mitchell’s arms for the finale. It was so similar to the set of the video that I had to keep checking that I was not watching a television screen but the real thing.

Sarah squeezed my hand and breathed “It looks fabulous” before the music started to fill the space around us. It’s haunting melody made me close my eyes briefly as I remembered a time that this song meant everything to me. It was our song. In the darkness I couldn’t see James, but I somehow knew he had turned to try and find me in the crowd. It was as if he wanted to silently communicate that he felt exactly the same emotions when he heard our song. Watching my daughter and her group weave, leap and dance their way through the song gave it new poignancy. Charlie always stood out despite the fact that the group wore identical outfits and were so in sync with each other that they flowed as one. I gasped as the audience did too when a male figure appeared on the stage as Charlotte fled up the steps.

Then there was a brief pause as Charlie fell backwards off the platform and Mitchell caught her below as she snaked down his body for the finishing pose. It felt as if the whole auditorium needed time to take it all in as the pause seemed to stretch into forever. Then slowly there was applause as everyone around us stood up and clapped and cheered. I did too of course as tears streamed down my face, tears and joy and pride for my daughter up there. The applause went on for so long that the group had left the stage but then returned for a second bow. I could see Charlotte’s face shining with happiness and joy as they all bowed again, Mitchell was still with them holding her hand tightly in his.

As the judges asked for quiet the next couple of groups came and went. I enjoyed the eclectic choice of eighties music that each had chosen but none received as big applause as my daughters group. Then it was Mitchell’s groups turn and the stage lighting turned red. They had kept the Thriller theme with their zombie costumes but I gasped in amazement at the different interpretation of the music and the skill of the group as a whole. Once again Mitchell was the stand out dancer among them all with his acrobatic skills that left the crowd gasping in shock and surprise. Once again everyone was on their feet clapping and cheering for a second encore. I spotted Charlie standing in the wings smiling and cheering them on. The final group were the ones from London and they too blew everyone away so it seemed clear that the three in line for the prizes looked certain to be Charlie’s group, Mitchell’s group and the London group.

The judges called for a brief refreshment break and then for everyone to return for their decision and a further performance. We filed out and I watched as people either scurried for refreshments or the conveniences. Sarah, Chris and I did the same and then headed back in as we knew what was to come. As I made my way up the aisle I spotted Pam, Peter and James as again they all smiled as I passed and I did the same. By the time I reached my seat my heart was racing once more at thoughts of our kiss last night. Then the lights started to go out and we were in darkness. Suddenly a spotlight illuminated my daughter standing alone in the centre of the stage.

I knew that Julia had managed to put some curlers in her hair so that it looked similar to Baby’s in the film. Her black dress was the same style and only served to highlight her pale skin. Then the first few notes of ‘I’ve had the time of my life’ floated out and the audience gasped and some applauded as Mitchell walked onto the stage and motioned with his finger to Charlotte. I felt the first tear trying to squeeze its way out from the side of my eye. It was a tear of joy and pride that my daughter was up there on the stage and I knew she was dancing to her favourite song of all time. I glanced across at Sarah and Chris.

“No body puts our baby in the corner” I heard Chris say to Sarah, I watched her squeeze
his hand. Smiling I realised how large a part they had both played in Charlotte’s life right from the start.

Watching Charlotte and Mitchell dance so perfectly in time to the music it was again as if the film had come to life. I could see that even with the little practice they had managed they were meant to dance with each other. Then as Mitchell leapt off the stage and danced up our aisle I watched Charlotte gazing at him with so much longing and love. Then from either side of the stage two of the guys from Mitchell’s group appeared and lifted Charlotte off the stage. The spotlight was trained on her as she ran the short distance and leapt into the air as Mitchell held her high and they were frozen in time. The audience erupted and gave them a standing ovation as Mitchell gently lowered Charlotte to the ground. Then filling the aisle and stage were the rest of Charlie and Mitchell’s groups in pairs.

Charlie and Mitch made their way back up onto the stage to continue the dance as the audience remained standing and some even started to filter into the aisle and dance. Chris and Sarah slipped into the aisle too and started to dance and I spotted James heading towards me. He held out his hand to me and I took it as he held me in his arms.

“Our children are magical when they dance together” he breathed
.

“Yes they are” I replied
. I could feel my heart racing as he held me close. My breathing had quickened as we swayed together as the music started to fade.

“Have you decided yet?” James asked

“Almost” I replied “Can we talk again this evening” I finished.

“Sure” he replied. We broke apart as the applause started again and I turned to look up at Charlotte and Mitchell on the stage together; they were drinking in the adoration.

Chapter 54

When the applause finally died down the audience who had taken to the aisle returned to their seats. As there was a free seat next to me James sat down in it as the stage cleared and the judges appeared. Arlene took the microphone and silence reigned.

“First of all I would like to say a special thank you to Charlotte and Mitchell for that stunning rendition of such a well known dance” Arlene said; as applause once again echoed around us.

“So, it’s time to announce the winners of our competition and I have to admit it has been a hard decision to make” she continued “The standard of dancing has been of the highest quality we have ever seen as judges” she finished.

As she paused there were hushed whispers, as James leant towards me.

“I am so nervous for them” he said. I looked down to see his hand outstretched to me. I took it and n
odded back. We both looked towards the stage and imagined how our respective children were feeling as they waited too.

“We were unable to separate two of the groups so we have decided
to award a joint second place to the Ross Rhythmic’s and Footloose Freestyle from Rugby. James pulled me up as the crowd started to shout and cheer and the two groups took to the stage.

I spotted the two of them scanning the crowds and I held my hand up to try and highlight us in the audience.

I spotted a brief look of shock cross their faces as they both realised that
we were standing together. Then the smiles crossed their faces as they held each other’s hand tightly. We sat back down as Arlene took control of the crowd again.

“The winner’s of this year’s competition are
The London Beats” The crowd erupted as the group took to the stage and acknowledged the crowds applause.

“We would like to ask for quiet so that we can watch
The London Beats perform their final dance for us again” Arlene finished. The crowd stayed on their feet as the group danced for us all once again. I turned to Sarah and Chris.

“Fantastic result” I said
.

“Yes, I wish Charlie had won but joint second is brilliant, brilliant for both of them” Sarah said.

After the final dance the lights came back on and everyone sat down.

“I think this calls for a big celebration” James said, turning to me.

“What did you have in mind?” I asked
.

“All of us should have dinner together, well if our kids don’t think it’s terribly un
cool to hang out their parents” he finished.

“We’ll just have to ask them when they appear” I replied. I was still aware of his hand holding mine. His finger gently rubbed over my scar and for once I didn’t feel ashamed of it.
In fact it was igniting feelings I hadn’t felt in years. As people started to depart we waited together for Charlotte and Mitchell to appear. Pam and Peter wandered over and started to talk to Sarah and Chris whilst I sat silently next to James, just aware of his finger and my nerve endings and all the unspoken feelings and words that still needed to be shared.

Suddenly I spotted Charlie and Mitch heading towards us, and I pulled my hand away from James as I stood up.

“Well done, Sweetheart” I said, as she flung her arms around me.

“It was fantastic Mum, I flew” she finished, her eyes caught Mitch in their gaze. She broke away from my arms as she was enveloped between Sarah and Chris who were both hugging and kissing her too. Then she turned to Pam and Peter who did the same. Finally Mitch pulled her close again and I reached out and hugged them both and then James was hugging all of us. His arms felt so strong and sure and ultimately so right.

As we broke apart we just looked at each other and I drank him all in once more. The years fell away from him and it was 1988 once more. My feelings had never died I had just locked them away to protect myself. I turned to find Pam and Peter standing there and smiling at me, with the same warmth that they had always shown me. Peter held open his arms.

“You have a beautiful and gifted daughter” he said, hugging me tightly.

“You have a talented grandson” I replied, he kissed me on the cheek.

“It was so magical watching them dance” Pam said. I nodded as we exchanged kisses.

The auditorium was almost empty when we eventually all broke apart.

“I would like to take all of you to dinner later to celebrate Mitchell and Charlotte’s success” James said.

“Thanks Dad; that would be fantastic” Mitch replied. The rest of us all nodded as we started to head towards the exit. Emerging into the sunlight as it was still early afternoon seemed like a shock to the system. This time Charlie headed back with Mitchell, James and his parents. Sitting in the back of the car I leant against the window and closed my eyes. I knew that I wanted to follow my heart but I still had the issue of my blind date in a
fortnight’s time. Also I knew that James and I would have to take things slowly as it wasn’t just the two of us now. We both had our families to think about too and how it would affect them.

Back at the hotel Sarah and Chris decided to head into the capital for some shopping and sightseeing and waited for the receptionist to phone them a cab. I headed for the lift and then to my room. Charlie had sent me a text saying that she would see me later for dinner. In the corridor I paused outside James’ room. I still needed to speak to him and I realised that this was probably the best moment for it. Knocking I waited for him to answer and I spotted the surprise on his face when he opened the door.

“Hi Stephanie, would you like to come in?”

“Thanks James” I replied, stepping past him and back into the room. I stood awkwardly again, aware of the electricity that crackled in the air between us.

“What a fantastic day” James said, breaking the silence and moving towards me.

“Yes it was” I replied, my voice soft and barely audible.

“So what shall we do between now and dinner later” James asked.

“I guess we have some more talking to do” I replied.

“Shall we stay here, or would you rather go for a drink somewhere?”

“A drink sounds good” I said.

As we headed back towards the door I felt his hand on the small of my back, guiding me and it felt comfortable. In the back of the taxi we were silent again, but this time it wasn’t from nerves. I slowly reached across and placed my hand on his knee and remembered how it used to feel in his car. Glancing across at him shyly, he covered my hand with his and smiled back at me. The views from the window flashed by as again our eyes focused on each other and I started to fall. The taxi driver dropped us off in the city and we wandered along the West Bank and eventually found a small café bar. We located a quiet corner table and sat down together.

Taking a sip of the wine I hesitated and then jumped into the void.

“I think I would like to give things another go with you but there is a problem” I finished
.

“And what would that be?” James asked, as he leant forward.

“I think we need to try to be friends first and get to know each other again, after all we have probably changed as people over the years” I said.

James nodded and waited as I continued
.

“We also have Charlotte, Mitchell and Darren to consider, it’s not just the two of us”

Again James nodded and reached out for my hand across the table. I let him take it as I swallowed.

“I’ve also promised to go on a blind date in a fortnight’s time. It’s a bit of a long story that one” I replied. I watched as his eyes crinkled up and he glanced at his watch.

“I have plenty of time” he said “Let’s start getting to know each other again” he finished, giving my hand a squeeze.

Over a bottle of wine and some snacks I told James all about my secret admirer who had popped up out of the blue only a couple of weeks ago. I also confessed that I had no idea who it might be and at this admission I saw a small wry smile spread over James lips, before he quickly hid it again.

“So you still like George Michael then?” he asked
.

“Of course there is no one better, it’s just a shame he’s gay otherwise I would be chasing him right now” I said, laughing at the suggestion
.

“And if he were straight how could he resist” James said, as I saw the desire flicker over his eyes. I blushed and looked away, aware that I too felt the same desire for him now as I did back then. Part of me also wished that I could throw my caution to the wind and just fall back into his life in an instance.

On the journey back James turned to me
.

“So how shall we do this whole friends thing then?” he asked
.

“I’m not sure yet but I guess as we are still living miles apart we will have to chat on the phone and email as I try to sort everything out in my mind” I replied
.

“What no letters this time?” James
said; grinning at his suggestion.

“Well we could if you want to but it’s so slow these days, technology is definitely making the miles between people seem very small” I replied.

“And at least this time I can travel to see you instead of having to wait for you to pick me up all the time” I finished.

“What car do you drive?” James asked

“A convertible” I replied “And you?”

“I have a 4
by 4 as it’s slightly larger as I have a dog that needs transport from time to time” he said.

I watched as he fished in his pocket and removed his phone to flick through the photographs it held. He passed it to me and I was staring into the sweet lovable face of a black Labrador.

“What’s his name?” I asked

“Jester” James replied. He hesitated as if to explain but I just shook my head and laughed as we both said “Top Gun” at the same time.

“I hadn’t watched that film for years until
Charlotte decided that was the song her group wanted to dance too and we watched it together”

“I watched it the other week when I realised that Mitchell’s new girlfriend was your daughter” James said
“It reminds me of us and how much we were in love back then” he finished, his voice softening as the emotions bubbled to the surface. I turned away; I couldn’t speak as my throat had tightened up with the tears that threatened to break to the surface.

“Don’t deny that you can’t still feel it between us” he asked, as his finger turned my head towards him. My whole body shook as I was paralysed under his touch. His face came closer and before I knew it his lips were once more on mine in a kiss that transcended time. It was as if I was floating and looking down at the two of us but as we once were, young and in love. Suddenly the cab pulled to a halt outside the hotel and we quickly broke apart. I looked away as a single tear seeped out from the corner of my eye. Thankfully he hadn’t spotted the tear and I quickly wiped it away.

We walked back into the hotel together and then hesitated for a brief moment.

“So dinner at eight” I said

“Yes, but I’ll be in the bar from seven if you fancy a drink before hand?”

“I’ll see” I said, as we headed for the lift.

Silence reigned as we walked along the corridor together and then I paused as we reached the door to James’ room.

“Today has been great” James said.

“Yes, our children were fantastic and deserved their second place” I replied

“Yes I agree but it’s been more than that, its knowing that you are back in my life again” he finished. He reached out to take both my hands in his again

“You can’t start to understand how much I have missed you over the years” he finished. Then with a quick kiss on my cheek we broke apart and I continued down the corridor to my room. I held the words tight to my heart that he had just spoken. My heart expanded to catch them and keep them there as I entered my room.

I sat down for a moment on my bed and once again thought long and hard about what I was doing. The words that James had just given me were so precious and once again I wished that I could throw caution to the wind and just give into my heart, which seemed to be winning the battle so far. I looked down at my hands and then turned them over. My scars would always be with me and I hoped that he would make them better. His mistake would always be with him and I knew that at some point I would have to talk to him about the bitch and how much contact she had with her sons if I did decide to take the next step. How did Mitchell and Darren feel about their mother and what part did she still play in their lives? I had to admit that Mitchell had never spoken about her in all the times he had spent at our house but was that to spare my feelings?

I looked through my case and found the other dress I had bought with me, it was a simple black one but I knew I looked good in it. Placing it on the bed I turned towards the bathroom and checked my watch. I had plenty of time for a long soak in the bath and to get ready for the evening celebrations. I knew that I wanted to look as gorgeous as possible even though there was only one person I wanted to impress.