Where did your heart go? (The Heart Trilogy Book 1) (10 page)

“So what do you think you’ll be doing at James” she asked

“Probably going swimming” I said, rummaging through my drawers for my favourite bikini.

“I think he’s taking me out for a meal for my birthday” I said. Eventually Sarah pulled out two of my dresses. I stared at both of them and then chose the newer one, and carefully folded it into my bag. Then with jumpers, t-shirts, a couple of skirts following the dress into the bag it was soon full.

“What about underwear” she said. I blushed and opened my drawer, wishing I had more sophisticated underwear to choose from instead of just my plain white and plain black sets.

James was going to pick me up from home after school and then we would drive back to his place in time for him to take me out to dinner. It was going to be a mad birthday weekend and I couldn’t wait to share such a special one with my boyfriend, my first boyfriend. As I watched Sarah walk back down the road later I waved and returned back to my room. Looking at my neatly packed bag in the corner, sitting next to it were my roller skates as James had promised me a spin around the park. I was as ready as I could be, even though the butterfly nerves had already started to flutter around inside of me.

Friday 11
th
March, 1988

My Mum and Dad gave me some money for my birthday and some clothes, so I quickly crammed them into my bag before I left for school. My grandparents had sent me a locket, as I had always admired the one my Nan wore, which held photographs of her and my granddad when they were young. Sarah had bought me some lovely body spray, June and Amanda bought the usual bubble bath and a book voucher. They had been so jealous when I told them what I was doing for my 17
th
Birthday.

As we all walked out of school I could not see my Mum’s car anywhere, why did she have to be late today of all days. I was still standing with the others by the gates when I suddenly spotted a familiar red mini belting up the road. I quickly turned to Sarah,

“Do I look ok?” I asked,
“As it appears James has come to fetch me”

June and Amanda’s jaws dropped as the mini came to a halt right in front of the gates, in fact I believe most of the scho
ol crowd had just come to a stop and they were all staring at the red mini and the gorgeous guy getting out of the drivers seat. I ran the short distance that separated us and he pulled me into his arms, seemingly not worried that hundreds of kids were watching, as he kissed me. Then all I could hear were whoops and cheers and feel the weight of jealous stares from some of the other girls in my year as they passed by.

After saying hello to Sarah and being introduced to June and Amanda, I quickly got into the car and we sped off down the street.

“So how did you manage this” I asked, as we headed back to my house

“I got here early and called in to ask you Mum if I could come and pick you up” he said, grinning “I just couldn’t wait any longer to see you” he finished. I blushed at his comment as we soon pulled up in the driveway. At my place I left him downstairs talking to my parents as I quickly changed and grabbed my bag for the weekend. Then we were off in the car for a drive that was going to take about an hour. As he drove he rested his hand on my leg when he wasn’t changing gear or I would rest mine on his knee, all the while we talked about the plans for the weekend.

The nerves kicked in as we pulled up on the driveway, would his parents like me and think I was good enough to be going out with their son? James pulled open the door and helped me out, giving me a quick hug and kiss before we headed towards the front door. As we walked in I suddenly found myself enveloped in a motherly hug

“Hi I’m Pam and this is Peter” she said, motioning to an older version of James “It’s lovely to meet you, James is always talking about you” she finished. I smiled and felt instantly at home in their house.

We sat and had coffee in the kitchen before his Mum looked at the clock

“You might want to start getting ready as I’m sure you don’t want to be late for dinner” Pam said.

“Follow me Steph and I’ll show you to the spare room” James said. He picked up my bag and I followed him upstairs.

“This is your room, the bathroom is across the hall and my room is here” James said, pointing at the door next to the spare room.

“Great, I think I’ll have a quick shower” I said.

When I returned to the spare room I noticed a card and a present on the bed. Still in my towel I opened the card, it was beautiful and fantastic to see the words girlfriend on the front of it, I was definitely not dreaming. Then I opened the present and inside was a lovely set of white underwear covered in small black hearts, the bra was my size exactly and I decided to put it on under my dress for the evening.

I struggled with the suspender belt and stockings but surveying the results in the bedroom mirror I was shocked at how sexy the whole thing looked. They accentuated my long legs and I actually found myself blushing at the sight. Was this what guys wanted to see when they undressed a girl? I imagined the look of desire on James face when he finally saw me wearing this just for him.

I smoothing my dress down and heard a knock on the bedroom door and James poked his head round

“Are you ready?” he asked.

“Almost” I replied as I sat down on the bed and slipped my feet into my new heels. When I stood up I was almost as tall as James as he helped me into my bolero jacket. At the same time he brushed his lips over the nape of my neck which immediately got my pulse racing and made me blush all over again.

“Thanks for the present, its beautiful and just the right size, how did you manage that?”

“I sneaked a look in your cupboard at home when I was over, but I did cheat a bit and got my Mum to choose and buy it for me”

“Come on lets go down as Dad is waiting to drive us”

“Are your Mum and Dad coming too then?”

“No, but he offered to be taxi so we can have a drink with dinner”

The restaurant was fantastic, I felt a bit overwhelmed by it all as we were shown to our table
. I remembered the couple I had seen at the Chinese restaurant for my Dad’s birthday and realised that this was me now. Once we had ordered I started to relax as we drank orange juice. We had white wine with the meal, as I was only used to drinking white wine and lemonade mixed on special occasions I found that it was going to my head a bit. However we had soon finished our sumptuous chocolate dessert and it was time to head home.

After wishing his parents goodnight we headed upstairs

“Would you like to come and listen to some music in my room” James asked.

I smiled when I saw the elephant next to the fire engine model on his shelf.

“I like your display” I said, motioning to the shelf above his bed.

“I love your display” James murmured, as he watched me shrug my jacket off and slip out of my heels.

Pulling me into his arms his lips came down to meet mine and we kissed for ages. I felt his hands running up my stocking clad legs but only to the hem of my dress, although this seemed to be higher than usual.

“Shall I take my stockings off” I asked, eventually.

“Let me” James said, as he found the catches on the belt and then rolled them to the floor. His hands slid over my smooth skin as once more he pulled me into his embrace.

Eventually
we heard his parents heading to bed and we stopped kissing.

“I guess I’d better go to bed now” I breathed.

“I guess so” James replied, reluctant to let me go. Standing up I smoothed down my dress and headed for the door

“Goodnight James” I said “Thank you for a wonderful birthday”

“It was my pleasure, night Stephanie. My arms are missing you already” he said, as he watched me leave the room. Alone in the spare room I undressed and thought about how daring I had been to let James remove my stockings. I left my knickers on and then pulled out my nightshirt and snuggled under the duvet. I saw the door slowly open and James crept in.

“I was cold and missing you” he whispered
. Surprised but happy to see him I pulled aside the duvet and he jumped in next to me. We cuddled up and started to kiss again, slowly at first but then the kisses became more urgent. I pulled back a bit; afraid of this going too far too quickly so then we just curled up together. I was very aware of his body pressed against mine and I trembled. Part of me just wanting to go with the feelings but the sensible part knowing it was best to take things slowly. This was the first time I had ever shared a bed with a man but as our breathing slowed we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Charlotte was amazed at her Mum’s self restraint and also that of James, what a cool guy. Craig had been eager to go straight from kissing to almost full on sex and in a way Charlotte knew that it was her saying no the last time they were together that had probably triggered the split. Although many of her friends had already lost their virginity as young as 14, she was not as eager, she wanted love as well as sex and that was hard to find. Closing the diary she heard her phone ping and a text was there from Craig, he wanted to make things up to her and was sorry for dumping her. Charlotte just deleted the text and turned her phone off, her mind already made up that she was not prepared to settle for second best, she wanted the works and unfortunately Craig was not going to deliver that in a hurry.

Chapter 12

Waking late, Charlotte rushed to get ready for school and only managed to grab a piece of toast on her way out of the door. I watched my daughter rush to met Julia at the end of the road, she seemed to have bounced back from rejection so quickly and I hoped that my diaries had been helping with that as I had noticed her lights on late into the night.

I gathered up the laundry from her room, a typical teenager it was strewn all over the floor, as I popped it all into the basket. I noticed my diary lying open on her pillow so I went over to see how far she had got and once again the words of my teenage years sucked me back into a past I had tried so hard to forget but somehow couldn’t.

Saturday 12
th
March, 1988

I woke to an empty bed; James had snuck out early to make sure his parents hadn’t found out that we had shared a bed that night. I was just about to get up when the door opened and James appeared with a tray.

“I thought I would bring you breakfast in bed” he said, as he put the tray on the b
edside table, it held coffee and some hot buttered toast.

“Looks lovely” I replied, drinking
in his tousled blond hair, blue eyes and watched as he shrugged his way out of his dressing gown and was stood there just in his boxer shorts. I rubbed my eyes just to check that I was not dreaming but opening them again I knew it was all real.

He jumped into bed beside me and I was immediately enfolded in his arms for a good morning kiss and cuddle that seemed to last for ages. The spell was broken when we heard his Mum shout upstairs that they were off out to do the shopping and would be back later. We were all alone as James just grinned at me and lay back on the pillows.

“W
ell, what are you waiting for?” he asked me. I reached across him to the tray and grabbed a piece of toast and put it in his mouth.

“That’s not what I meant” he eventually managed between mouthfuls of toast “you are in serious trouble now” he finished as he grabbed me and started to tickle me, I was soon pinned down underneath him, gasping for breath between my giggles
as I tried to push him off. Then he leant down and kissed me long and deep and I just felt my body arch to meet and mould with his.

His hands ran through my hair and down my face and then my neck, down along my sides to the hem of my nightshirt

“C
an I” he asked, as he looked into my eyes, I nodded feeling the cool air catch my skin as he pulled the night shirt up and then over my head. As he pulled back to look at my body I quickly covered my breasts with my hands, suddenly shy and afraid that he would find me lacking

“Do you trust me” he murmured

“Yes” I breathed quietly as his hands covered mine and then gently moved my hands away so they rested on his hips, I had never touched him there before as I felt the soft, smoothness of his skin under my fingertips which were just above the waist band of his boxer shorts.

I shut my eyes as I felt his fingers run over my breasts for the very first time, my nipples sprung into life as he gently ran his fingers around them.

“You are so beautiful” he murmured as his lips came back down to mine and my skin touched his, it was magical as all my nerve endings tingled in response.
Time ticked by slowly as we kissed and talked and then kissed some more, my fingers running over the smooth skin of his back, his were in my hair.

Eventually we drew apart and noticed it was almost noon so we decided we had better do something for the day. A trip to the pool was in order perhaps the water would cool the heat flaming through my blood. We left his parents a note saying we would be back for dinner later and we had gone to the pool. The pool was fantastic, much bigger than I was used too and the diving board was so high. I watched with huge admiration as James climbed right to the top and executed a wonderful dive. He introduced me to Ian, who was working that shift and also Michael who was in the office.

As we were about to leave I heard a female voice shout his name, James stiffened and turned to see his boss walking towards us. She wore a short skirt suit and she looked amazing as she extended her hand to me as we were introduced.

“Hi Felicity, this is Stephanie. Stephanie this is Felicity” James said.

She was a little older than James but not much, under her piercing gaze I felt a little like a mouse caught in the eyes of a hungry cat.

“We are a bit short staffed on Sunday is there any chance you can fill in?” she asked James.

“I can only do the evening as I have to take Stephanie home that day” he replied.

“Great, see you tomorrow at six
then” she responded and then promptly turned and clicked her way across the floor and back to her office.

James seemed subdued as we drove back to his place

“Sorry about Felicity, I think I did mention how awful our boss was in one of my letters” he said.

“It’s ok” I said as I tried to cheer him up by running my hand up and down his leg as the sombre mood was broken. Dinner that evening was great, his parents asked me about school and my plans for the future before we excused ourselves and headed for James’ room to rediscover the taste of each other’s lips and the feel of each others skin. Then we just dived under James’ duvet and once again curled up together to sleep, no nightshirt tonight just my knickers and his boxer’s.

Sunday 13
th
March, 1988.

We awoke with a start at a knock on the door and his Mum popped her head round.

“Morning James, Stephanie would you like a coffee” she asked.

“Thanks Mum, we’ll be down in a bit” James replied. I tried to hide behind James but it was no good. James turned to see me burning with mortification, what if she thought we had done it, what if she ended up talking to my Mum and mentioning it on the phone, I would be in serious trouble.

“Don’t worry about my Mum, she’s cool about this and I will speak to her and let her know that nothing serious has happened, if that will ease your mind”

“Yes, please” I replied, just before he pulled me into his arms for a good morning kiss.

After breakfast we grabbed our roller skates and headed for the nearby park as although it was cold the sun was shining brightly in the sky. James showed off his immense skills on the wheels and I just tried to keep up and also stay upright as he kept whizzing away and hiding behind trees and jumping out just as I was going past. It was such good fun and took my mind off the fact that very shortly we would be driving back to my place and then not seeing each other for a while.

After Sunday lunch I carefully packed and we were soon in the mini and heading home.

“It’s been a wonderful weekend” James said, as his hand captured mine.

“The best birthday I have ever had” I replied, smiling over at him.

“When I’m in at work later I’ll check my shifts and see when I can see you

again”

“I’ll ask my Mum and Dad if it’s ok for you to stay at ours” I responded. I didn’t want him to have to come down to Ross and stay with Chris. I wanted to share a bed with him once more. Feel his skin on mine as we shared our dreams together.
All the way home I kept my hand firmly on his knee or his on mine, not wanting to break the physical connection that the weekend had only served to make stronger.

James managed a quick coffee before he had to be back for work, so once again I found myself standing on the doorstep staring into the red rear lights of his car and wishing he was not leaving. Once in my room I hugged the pillow and relived the magical firsts that I had just shared with James and soon fell asleep.

I carefully put the diary back down my hands were shaking with remembering all those details from the happiest days of my life. I couldn’t deny that having Charlotte was another of the happiest days but when my husband Mark had been killed only three months after the birth, even that was tinged with sadness. Since then I had decided that it was better to be alone than to risk heartbreak for a third time and as Charlotte grew up we became almost as close as sisters. Perhaps she would realise now why I had never jumped back onto the dating band wagon all the years that she had been growing up. I had placed what was left of my heart in a sealed box, afraid to love again as all it seemed to bring me was heartache and pain.

Getting on with the chores for the day I decided to treat Charlotte to a take away for tea this evening, it might cheer us both up a little more.