When The Right Door Opens (8 page)

“I was very good, successful too. I saw the
world and danced on many famous stages in many different countries.
It was all I ever wanted to be – a dancer. I loved it. Every moment
of it, even the bloody feet, the broken toes, the blisters and the
exhaustion after many hours of training. Even keeping up with a
strict diet was only a small hurdle for me. I lived straight-edge
without even knowing it.” Jamie saw Sebastian's eyes light up,
while memories from the past filled his thoughts. He didn't dare to
interrupt him, so he only nodded.

“You know, when you're a certain age, your
body starts to weaken and you have to exercise even more. Younger
dancers started being privileged and when I fell down the stairs,
my fate was sealed. The doctors say that I will never be able to
dance again. It's the knee. I had surgery. Several times actually,
but my joints and bones are just too used. Problem is, I can't
really accept it. I need to dance. It's all I've ever done. It's
all I ever wanted to do. What am I supposed to do with my life, if
not dance? So, now you know why I need that damned cane.”
Sebastian's hand sought support with his mug and he lowered his
head, while silent tears found their ways out of his eyes. To his
surprise, a warm hand covered his own and it made him look up into
the most understanding green eyes he'd seen in a while.

“Did you talk to someone about it?”

“About what?” Sebastian huffed. “That I can't
accept my body's condition and that I keep pushing myself beyond my
limits as soon as I am more or less painless? About how the only
way I know to deal with emotional stress is going to my studio and
dance until I'm too exhausted to think and in too much pain to
move? Yeah, right... Who is able to understand, that I can't stop
maltreating my body, because I can't live without dancing? Who? He
pushed me!” The last sentence was whispered and Jamie didn't
respond to it, because he wasn't sure what it meant, but he was
sure that he didn't want to push the vulnerable man in front of him
anymore. Tears flowed freely now from Sebastian's eyes and Jamie
let go of his hand. He got up and walked around the table, he
turned Sebastian on the chair, until he was sitting sideways and
then, he knelt in front of him. Jamie opened his arms and took
Sebastian in a comforting embrace.

“I do. I understand.” He simply said and
Sebastian accepted the shoulder to lean on. Jamie understood. It
was the same predicament he was in himself, with the only
difference that he didn't like his job.

Time went by and eventually Sebastian's tears
dried up. The tension from before was back and crackling around
them. Neither man wanted to let go of the other, but both of them
knew that the inevitable moment would come soon. Sebastian buried
his nose against Jamie's neck, while Jamie melted against
Sebastian, soaking in the intimacy that he had missed for so long.
He closed his eyes and stayed on his knees. Sebastian's eyes were
closed too, enjoying the warmth, the natural smell, the feeling –
Jamie – being this close to him.

They moved away from each other, holding
their gazes. Jamie's eyes traveled to Sebastian's lips. He licked
his lips, maybe unconsciously, maybe teasingly, but it did all sort
of things to Jamie's self-control. He move closer again, this time
intent to kiss the man who was at once his savior and the man who
made his heart beat again. Jamie could feel Sebastian's breath
against his face. Mere inches separated their lips.

Sebastian's arms pulled Jamie closer to him.
He didn't know why this man, a stranger really, was able to free
his heart from the chains of the past in such a very short time,
all he knew was, that right now, he wanted to taste the man, feel
him, be with him.

“Uhm... Am I interrupting something?” Jamie
jerked away and cast a horrified at look Agnes, who leaned coolly
against the door frame, her arms crossed in front of her chest, her
legs crossed at her ankles. She smirked and Jamie stood up hastily
and everybody contact with Sebastian was disrupted at once.

~~Chapter 5~~

“How long have you been standing there, honey?” Jamie
asked flabbergasted and wide-eyed.

“Long enough.” Agnes clapped her hands and
rubbed them together, while starting into the kitchen.

“So? What's for breakfast? When can we start
cleaning that other guestroom and, Mister Martin, I would very much
like to have a tour of the house.” Agnes saw her father's brows
furrow and she added immediately “If that's okay with you. Please.”
Sebastian was very self-aware, still being trapped in his feelings
and the way they poured out of him. He nodded and pointed to a
cupboard over the sink. “Cereals” he croaked. Agnes made herself a
bowl of cereals and took the milk out of the fridge, like she had
been living in that house all her life. She opened a few wrong
drawers, before finding the one with the cutlery and sat down with
her father and Sebastian. An awkward silence reigned in the kitchen
and Agnes carefully observed both men at the table.

“So, um, who is going to drive me to school
tomorrow? I don't have to change schools, do I? That would be too
awful.” For a moment, nobody talked, until Sebastian said “I have a
car in the garage, but honestly, I overdid it yesterday. My leg's
worse than it's been in some time. I am in no condition to drive.
Do you have a license?” Jamie didn't know if he should laugh or
cry. Of course he had a license. It was one of the first things he
had to do all by himself, without the support of his family. Being
a parent without a car is without a doubt feasible, but it's easier
with a ride.

“Yes, but no car.” he offered curtly.

“Problem solved. If your dad feels well
enough, he can drive you. If not, I'll ask Kai to give you a lift.”
Sebastian shrugged, as if it was the most natural thing to allow a
stranger to drive his car, and Agnes found it odd.

“And now in honest. For how long have you two
been a couple and why didn't you tell me, dad?” she couldn't resist
asking.

“What? We're... No.” Sebastian protested
first, shaking his head vigorously.

“I'm sorry, but I don't believe you. Just
look at yourselves. You're in love, even a blind person can see
that.” Agnes was like a bloodhound. Once she thought she knew
something, even if it was only a hunch, she wanted and needed to
know more.

“Agnes McCarrick. Enough! Show some respect.
And not that it's any of your business, but we are not a couple and
you know that. I would have told you if I had been seeing someone.
Which I am not. We only met yesterday.” Jamie raised his voice and
strengthened it with all his parental authority.

“Then why did it look like you were about to
kiss just now? Why did you hug a half-naked man, if he is a
stranger?” But Jamie's parental authority was not working anymore.
And once again, it became clear that Agnes was not a child
anymore.

“Agnes, it's enough. Sometimes, even grown-up
men need a shoulder to lean on. That is all I'm going to say about
it and now you should let it drop, or I'll need to confiscate your
phone for the rest of the day.”

“That's not fair, dad.” Agnes sulked and
crossed her arms in front of her chest like the sullen teenager she
was.

“Life's not fair, but I am still the dad
here.” Jamie retorted childishly, a bit embarrassed by Agnes's
behavior and how the whole discussion must have sounded for
Sebastian.

“I'm going to get dressed. Don't start
throwing the dishes once I am out of the room.” Sebastian teased
and both, father and daughter, rolled their eyes at him.

“Not funny.” they said in unison and started
to laugh.

Sebastian took his cane and walked out of the
kitchen smiling. These two would be good for him, he knew it. He
could sense how important Jamie was becoming to him, even if they
had not known each other for a long time. The attraction was there
and Sebastian hoped that it was mutual. He took a lengthy shower to
wash away the negativity of these last few months and the rest of
the fight he had had the night before with his ex-husband. It
seethed inside of him that Rudy still had so much power over him
and that he could make him feel bad about himself. He hated the
fact that Rudy had shown up and driven off after their fight and he
also hated the fact that he feared something might have happened to
him, after he drove away fast and furious. Once he had loved this
man with all of his heart and even though his heart was ready for a
new love, he still cared about his ex-husband.

****

In the meantime in the kitchen:

Agnes sat up straight and put her spoon away, before
looking at her father intently. “Dad? I know you don't want to talk
about it, but I need to know. What happened to you yesterday and
what is there between you and Sebastian?” Jamie thought for a
moment how much he could tell her about last night and then he
decided to answer: “Someone got a little rough with me. I can't
remember it all, but I woke up on the street. It was cold and
frankly, I was afraid that I was going to die without seeing you
one last time and without saying good-bye. My whole body hurt and I
was so dizzy. I knocked at a few doors, but nobody helped me, until
Sebastian opened the door. He and his brother patched me up.” Jamie
saw the tears in his daughter's eyes and pulled her close to
him.

“I feel much better now. Honestly. I have a
slight concussion, that comes with headaches and I am bruised and
my pride is hurt quite a bit, but I am fine. I am not going to die
anytime soon.” Jamie smiled reassuringly.

“So basically, Sebastian saved your life when
he opened the right door.” It wasn't a question, more like thoughts
being spoken out loud without intent. Jamie nodded.

“In hindsight, it sounds overly dramatic. But
yesterday it was like that. Yes.”

“Are you in a lot of pain.” she asked and
Jamie decided that this was a good time for a little white lie,
because truth be told, he was in some pain. Sitting was a bit
painful.

“No. I'm not in pain, apart from the eye that
feels weird.”

“I never knew the human body could turn those
colors.” Agnes smiled faintly. “And what did I just interrupt when
I walked in on you two?”

“I don't know if I can talk to you about it.
He told me some of his background and why he has to use the cane.
Suffice to say, that it was quite emotional for him and I simply –
I don't know.”

“You acted on impulse. You like him. I can
see it. He likes you too. Maybe you should live for once, without
thinking about me first. Maybe this is your chance at finding some
love.”

“When did you become so wise?” Jamie ruffled
Agnes' hair and kissed her.

“Dad, my hair!” she squealed and moved away
from him, her hands brushing her hair down again.

“Um, Agnes? This is going to sound weird, but
do you have any idea where we are? How this place is called. We're
surely not in Gabefield anymore.”

“We're in Angel's Hollow. Maybe it's a sign.”
Agnes cleared her bowl of cereals and took both mugs to the
dishwasher.

“Come to think about it, maybe I should
change school after all. Maybe this is our chance to start again.
You could go to college and finish your studies, I'm old enough to
be alone some times. Maybe we could work something out and pay some
rent to Sebastian. I don't know... What do you think?” she mused
with her back turned to Jamie.

“I think, you think too much and I think that
I have a beautiful young daughter who may be right for once.
Just... let's take a bit of time before making all these
life-changing decisions.”

“I think we should do it. Now. Without taking
some time. Without looking back on our old lives.”

Agnes left the kitchen without saying
anything else and without looking back and Jamie found himself
alone with his thoughts. Involuntarily, they went back to Sebastian
and how he had felt against his skin. The longing look in his deep
brown eyes, the right amount of muscles on his warm body, but also
the pain when he talked about his passion and how he would never be
able to dance on a stage again. His thoughts turned to Agnes and
the pleading in her voice to start a new life and her willingness
to give everything else up. She was right, this was a once in a
lifetime opportunity, but the question remained – what could he do
with his life. He had never done anything apart from hustling, and
he was not sure if he would be able to start anew and also, he
wasn't sure, if at his age, going back to studying was that easy.
He had always been a good student, but that had been years ago.
Jamie didn't know if he had the patience to sit down and listen to
profs and write papers, to be graded and judged with every step he
took.

The phone rang and Jamie hesitated to take
the call. There were no rules set yet, no guidelines as to how to
behave while living with Sebastian. By the time it was clear, that
Sebastian wouldn't take the call, Jamie got up and just when he
wanted to connect the call, it stopped ringing.

1 Missed Call: Rudy Hayes.

Jamie felt a strange pang of jealousy, but
before it could spread, he reminded himself that Sebastian had
never said he was single and that he had no business being jealous
anyway. There was undeniable palpable chemistry between them, but
no promises were made at all.

****

Later that morning, Kai came by and with joined
forces, they emptied Agnes's future bedroom. Box after box was
moved, while the hallway got fuller and fuller. It was a large room
with lots of natural light. Agnes liked it a lot and was already
starting to decorate it in her mind. The emptier the room got, the
more Agnes was excited. She had never had a big bedroom like this,
with a walk in closet nonetheless and a small en-suite
bathroom.