When September Ends (8 page)

Lame, I know.

“Dad, did you hear me? September is here, and, like you’re kind of being rude by staying in here.”

Can’t have that now can we?

I force a smile, acting as if I’ve been totally absorbed by the compelling weather report being given for the Pacific Northwest. “Oh, yeah, honey—I’ll be right out, okay?”

She nods, and I’m thinking she did a slight eye roll before closing the door softly.

I get up from the bed and take a quick look in the mirror, running a hand through my mass of hair that is probably in need of a trim as it is now hitting the top of the collar on the oxford shirt I decided to wear today.

Yeah, I know, tee shirts are my thing but the weather is getting chillier and I wanted something to put over my tee. Sue me.

I saunter out of my room, trying like hell to pass off an air of ambivalence, or maybe even indifference, neither of which are emotions I’m actually feeling at the moment.

Hell if I don’t feel like that pimply-faced teenager again, instead of the adult male that I am. What the hell has she done to me?

Fuck that. What the hell have
I
done to
myself?

She and Scout are in the living room on the sofa, and I can see that Scout has been showing her some of her recent creations in Art class, which is, by far, her favorite subject.

Her class has been working on decoupage projects and Scout created a Halloween version of a cross between Dracula and someone called ‘Slender Man’ for whom I’m clueless about. Some current cult legend from what she’s shared with me, and sounds rather ominous.

“Hey September,” I greet and immediately grimace inside at how my voice came out like a hoarse, nearly squeaky whisper.

Fuck me.

“Hi Jesse,” she says, giving me a shy smile, “I am just loving Scout’s creation here. She’s got some raw talent it seems.”

Her voice is like a fucking aphrodisiac to my senses, and, of course, my dick is trying to spring to life as a result.

Down boy.

“Uh huh,” I mumble turning towards the kitchen so I can grab some liquid courage, and hide my semi. Shit, what the hell? “Can I get you girls something?” I call back as I open the door to the fridge, grabbing a cold Bud.

“Iced tea would be nice,” September calls out, “Unless you don’t have any made.”

As luck would have it, we did. “Coming right up.”

So, this is pretty much how the next hour went with me chugging a couple of beers while trying my damndest to make small talk with her when what I really wanted to do was send Scout over to Amber’s for the afternoon and fuck September senseless to make up for all the time we’ve lost since the last time. And then, after we’ve fucked, I want to make love to her, mark her as mine because she’s forgotten, and make things the way they should be between us right now.

Not like this.

Stumbling over words. Chunks of uncomfortable silence hanging in the air between us.

“Oh shoot!” Scout breaks one of those chunks of silence right now. “I left my Creature from the Black Lagoon over at Catherine’s. I really want you to see it, September.”

“Well…I don’t think Casey would appreciate my tagging along,” September says, and her cheeks flush slightly.

“No, I’ll go over there and get it.”

“Really, Scout, there’s no need. I can see it the next time I stop by, okay?”

My daughter is not to be deterred and it dawns on me that she may just have an ulterior motive for wanting to exit the house for a few minutes.

Feminine wiles. My daughter possesses them it would appear.

Scout is out the door and September rubs the palms of her hands back and forth across her denim clad thighs. She clears her throat as it’s clear my gaze is making her uncomfortable. I don’t give a shit. I can stare if I want to, right?

“She knows about us,” I deadpan.

I watch as her brown eyes widen and darken simultaneously. “Wh-what do you mean?”

I give her a wry grin, “She told me as much fairly recently. She was very matter of fact about it. Said she could tell by the way we acted around one another that we were in love.”

September shakes her head slowly, “I-I don’t know what to say. I mean, she’s never said a word about it to me; she’s never asked questions or hinted around about it, or anything.”

“It’s because she didn’t see anything wrong with it is my guess. When I asked her why she hadn’t mentioned it before she said she figured it was none of her business.”

I get up from my chair and walk to the sofa, sitting down next to her. My body reacts to her nearness; her scent, and I need to touch her, but the possibility of rejection is one I’m not sure I can deal with at the moment. “Baby,” I say softly, “I realize now how fucking clueless I was about this thing between us. I mean, Christ, for all the reluctance and hesitation I displayed, I totally get why you left. Things are different now.”

She arches her brow and meets my gaze. “Are they, Jesse? How are they different?”

I place my hand under her chin and tilt her face upward, studying her closely, “Because we don’t have to hide our love anymore, September. I know you still love me, tell me I’m wrong.”

I wait. The silence is deafening, but the fact that she hasn’t answered yet fills me with hope.

“Well?”

She shifts, pulling back a bit, but my arm is wrapped around her shoulder, so she’s not going far.

“It’s complicated, Jesse.”

“It doesn’t have to be, baby.” I take this opportunity to brush my mouth against her lips slowly and softly, breathing in her scent; closing my eyes and savoring it.

And then I feel her lips pressing against mine, her body relaxes against me, and I pull her back in closer, my mouth now possessing hers, our tongues teasing one another in a rhythm that is familiar and almost bittersweet because it’s been too damn long.

“Mmm, Jesse,” she breathes against me, molding herself against me. “I need a little more time. I’ve got to think this through, do you understand?”

My lips are now peppering her cheek and jawline with butterfly kisses. “I do, babe. I totally get it. Take whatever time you need, just as long as you come back to us.”

We pull apart when we hear the sound of the back door opening, and I once again take my place in the chair I had been sitting in before Scout left. September quickly smoothes her shirt and crosses her legs as Scout comes in with her decoupage masterpiece that has been glued to a sheet of Plexiglass for display.

“I got an ‘A’ on this one,” she proudly announces as she places it on the coffee table in front of September.

“Wow,” September exclaims, “That is impressive, Scout. I think you’ve found your calling.”

My daughter beams under the praise. I look between them, and notice the flush of excitement has not left September’s face, as she gazes past Scout, and her eyes meet mine. I can feel the warmth of her love because her eyes are and have always been the window to her soul.

“Do you wanna stay and eat with us?” Scout asks, “Dad and I are ordering pizza tonight. We do that on Saturdays now.”

“Sure,” September replies with a smile. “Sounds good to me.”

I leave them for a bit, having to finish up some payroll for the shop and get some tools on order. I’ve got a laptop of my own now and have set it up in September’s old room, which I use as a home office of sorts.

An hour later, just as I’m finishing up, my cell rings. I grab it from the desktop, and see that it’s Ruth. She’s been staying in touch with Scout on her cell, so it strikes me as strange that she’s calling mine.

“Hi Ruth,” I answer.

I’m not prepared for what comes next.

“Jesse, oh Jesse,” she croaks, “It’s Henry. He’s had a stroke—and it’s a bad one. It happened when he was at work last night. He’s stabilized, but they’re moving him to the VA Medical Center in Memphis right now. I’ve got to go with him…” Her voice breaks off and she’s sobbing now. I hear another voice in the background.

It’s Libby…Sarah now. “Mama, don’t cry,” I hear her plead.

“Ruth, are you there?” I ask, my jaw twitching because I know what’s coming next. “Tell me what I can do.”

Her voice is now pleading. “Jesse, I don’t know how long I’ll be with Henry in Memphis. Sarah can’t stay here by herself. She doesn’t drive or anything, and with us being out here in the country and all—well, can she stay with you and Scout until Henry comes home?”

Holy fuck.

I may be an ass at times, I can admit that, but it’s usually because I’m clueless about the things going on at the time. I’m not one to purposely set out to be an asshole, but this request she’s making is a lot to ask.

So fucking much to ask.

“She can take care of herself while you’re at work and Scout’s at school, it’s just that well, long-term, I just wouldn’t feel right leaving her in Meridian and I can’t afford to pay for a hotel not knowing how long Henry will be in the hospital—the VA will set me up with accommodations.”

“Ruth,” I interrupt her pleading diatribe, “Of course she can stay here until you get back.” I make sure that part is clear. “You focus on Henry and don’t worry. Will she be flying?”

Ruth tells me that she’ll make reservations and then call me back with the details.

“Thanks, Jesse. I appreciate this. You’ll let Scout know?”

“Sure, no problem.”

“And I’ll let September know. Please keep Henry in your prayers. I’ll call you back in about an hour.”

Before I can reply, she hangs up. I had been about to tell her that September was here…but as I head out of the room and down the hallway, I can hear the sound of another cell phone ringing.

It’s September’s.

“Hi Gram,” she says, and then everything goes quiet as I presume Ruth is now filling her in on the situation.

I re-read the same page in my Sociology book for the third—no make that the
fourth
time in the past thirty minutes before I finally slam it shut and launch myself from the loveseat.

How in the hell can I study this stuff, boring as it is, when I’m unable to concentrate on
anything?
I raise my arms, tightening the elastic band holding my ponytail and release a sigh just as my cell rings.

I know it’s Jesse. He’s been blowing up my cell all morning. In the distance, I hear the faint sound of church bells announcing the beginning of church services nearby.

I finally pick up my cell, and accept his call. No sense in ignoring him because he’ll have this conversation regardless of how I feel about it. That’s Jesse.

“Hello,” I manage, the tiredness evident in my own voice. I hadn’t slept at all last night after returning home from Jesse and Scout’s. I hadn’t stuck around for pizza after talking to Gram on the phone. I didn’t trust myself to stay. I knew Jesse already knew because Gram had filled me in on that portion of it.

“September,” he breathes, “Damn it, why did you rush out so fast yesterday? We need to talk, baby.”

“What’s left to say, Jesse? Gram gave me the scoop. Grandpa’s had a stroke, he’s going to a specialized unit for care, and Mama’s coming to live with you and Scout. Isn’t that everything?”

There’s a silent pause. “It’s not like
that,
” he finally murmurs, “I mean, put yourself in my place huh? What kind of a dick would I be not to help your grandparents?”

And I know he’s right. I should be putting the well-being of my grandpa first and foremost in my mind right now. It’s selfish of me not to be doing just that, and I know it. “I get that, Jesse. And I’m praying that Grandpa will recover, I really am. Listen, I’m not pissed off at you. These are the cards we’ve been dealt; this is Karma coming back on us.”

“No, baby—don’t think like that. This is just a temporary situation, I promise you. Nothing has changed.”

Everything has changed.

“September, I’m coming by your place. I’ll be there in a bit.”

What?

“Wait—what? Why?”

“Because, we have unfinished business. I need to make sure you know how much I love you—and only you, baby. I didn’t get that chance yesterday,” his voice trails off.

“Where’s Scout?”

“She’s over at Amber’s for the day.”

I sigh. “I’ll see you in a bit,” I reply, ending the call. The feeling of emptiness that has enveloped me since yesterday is still there. Maybe Jesse can fill the void with his visit. He wants to talk things out. I simply want to fuck things out. After all, it’s the language we speak best.