Wanting It All: A Naked Men Novel (20 page)

That hurt. It hurt…a lot. But Madison shook it off. Except for Knox, she knew the ACSs all came from privileged backgrounds. Maybe Logan had swatted away a fortune hunter or two. And he was literally in another hemisphere. His caution made sense. It wasn’t aimed at her personally. Just at what she claimed to be.

Knox didn’t look so sanguine. In fact, his face was now the hue of the imaginary pillows she’d wanted to get to spruce up the room. “Dude, she’s the real deal. Why do you think I practically had you arrested to make this call?”

“What’s your name again?” Logan sounded huffy. But he probably hadn’t been able to pay attention very well, once the shock hit.

“Madison. Madison Louise Abbott.” It was tempting to blurt out the rest of her vital stats. Hair and eye color. Not weight, obviously. But maybe blood type? That info had sure scored big with his father.

“What do you do, Madison?”

“I work at the Library of Congress.”

“You live in D.C., too?” Shock, again.

Better not admit that she’d semi-stalked him here. “Oh, I just moved here recently. I grew up in Alaska.”

“That must’ve made it easy for him to keep us separate.” More static.

Madison didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know how to proceed. She just knew that Logan wasn’t making this easy on her. And looking at him wasn’t making it any easier. Because the relaxed, smiling man in the photo posing with his blood brother was
far
from the man on the other end of the line barely making polite conversation with his actual sister. She dropped her gaze to Knox’s big hand, wrapped tight around hers. “How long have you been in Kazakhstan?”

“Not long enough.”

“If you’re going to be there a while longer, I could send you a care package. Maybe some homemade brownies, and gum…” What would he need in the harsh wilds of a foreign country? She’d read that peanut butter was hard to find in Europe. Was Kazakhstan close enough to Europe to be a peanut butter–free zone? But what if he had a peanut allergy? It’d be awful to wait almost a quarter of a century to meet him and then send him into anaphylactic shock from half a world away. Talk about making a bad first impression. “Another iPhone? To keep you up-to-date?”

“I’m too busy rebuilding a village to waste time scrolling through videos of cats peeing into a toilet.”

“I didn’t mean—”

“Look, I’m sure the local militia doesn’t want me tying up their phone lines to chew the fat. Nice to meet you, Madison. Knox, you and I are gonna have one hell of a talk when I get back.”

The line went dead.

“I’m not going to cry,” Madison proclaimed fiercely. She tossed her hair back and looked at Knox as if daring him to suggest otherwise.

“Of course not. You’re stronger than that.” Knox didn’t doubt for a second that Madison could hold herself together. On the other hand…“You know it’s okay if you want to, though.”

“Right. You almost cut and run at the mere thought of having a girlfriend. Your eye still twitches, just a little, every time I call you my boyfriend. If I add tears into the mix, your head would probably explode.”

All fair points—although Knox thought he’d been doing a decent job of hiding the twitch. It was involuntary. He couldn’t be blamed for it.

What he could take credit for was sticking by Madison. A few tears wouldn’t scare off someone who truly cared for her. No matter how much they’d freak him out. And he did care. Knox wouldn’t get hung up on how much, or the implications of admitting it, or what the hell he was supposed to do about it. All that mattered was that in this very serious, very life-changing moment, he cared for her, and intended to take care
of
her.

“Madison, I know that didn’t go how you planned. If you want to unleash the waterworks, I promise I won’t go anywhere. Except to the bathroom to grab you some tissues.”

“Crying makes my throat hurt and stuffs me up. I’m already miserable enough.”

“How can I help?”

She looked up at him with glistening eyes that looked like pools of honeyed tea. And it absolutely drove a spear through his heart. “You know Logan. Can you explain what just happened?”

Hell, no. Logan could be moody. But he wasn’t usually a complete prick. Especially not to a stranger. “I wish I could. But I don’t have a fucking clue why it went down like that.”

“Why was he so mean? What have I done?”

“Nothing.”

“I hated being an only child. I guess I assumed he’d be excited about having a sibling. One old enough to not steal his toys or compete for attention. I didn’t expect him to love me right away. I did sort of expect him to like me, though.”

Knox knew she was lying. Knew that Madison
had
expected him to instantly feel that brotherly connection and love her to bits. She gave away pieces of her heart so easily, so generously. It had to feel like Logan had jammed his fist right through that squishy heart of hers. And it made him want to jam his fist right into Logan.

“You are the most likable person I know. You snagged a roommate after talking to Annabeth for all of five minutes. You charmed my entire office of antisocial geeks right into the palm of your hand. This isn’t about you.”

“If I don’t know why it happened, how will I fix it? How will I get him to spend time with me, to get to know me, once he comes back?” Madison’s voice turned a little frantic. “I need a new plan. I can’t make a plan until I know what I messed up with the old one.”

It was impossible to watch her being so brave, so strong, and yet so torn up inside. Knox couldn’t do it. Couldn’t take another minute of it. And he could only think of one way to make it stop. He stood. Scooped her up into his arms and strode into the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them. Stood her next to the high bed.

“Listen to me, Madison. You can’t get all into your head about this. You can’t worry and wonder and wish. You’ve got to set it aside. Clearly Logan’s got something to work through. Something that has nothing to do with who you are as a person. Because you are wonderful.” He kissed her cheek. “You are lovely.” He lifted her shirt over her head, dropped it on the floor, and kissed her collarbone. “You are sweeter than those delicious cookies you bake.” Finally, Knox unzipped her shorts to let them puddle at her feet. “You’re a gift to anyone and everyone who has you in their life.”

Madison tossed her hair again. This time it was more sultry, less defiant. “I’m tough. Alaska tough. I’ll be fine. You don’t have to sweet-talk me.”

Shit. He’d really screwed up this whole dating thing for her to say that. He’d been glib and charming…but had he been affectionate enough? Made her feel cherished? Obviously not. “I think I do. In fact, I don’t think I’ve done nearly enough of that.”

“It’s not your style. I understand.”

“Maybe it wasn’t my style with other women. Maybe it needs to be with you.” Knox framed her face in his hands and kissed her. Slowly. Sweetly. Softly. Not pushing. Not trying to instantly ignite her desire. Just taking his time, showing her everything he hadn’t bothered to say to her yet.

Instead of grappling with their usual passionate ferocity, Madison, too, sank into the kiss. She wrapped her hands around his biceps and hung on, leaning into him. After all she’d done for him the past week, Madison was finally leaning on
him.
It felt great. It felt right.

Knox put one knee on the bed and slowly tipped her backward. Kissed down the side of her ribs. Across her stomach. Up and around her breast. Soft, teasing butterfly kisses that barely connected with her smooth skin.

Madison’s fingers grappled for purchase. Scrabbled at the neck of his hoodie and pulled it over his head. “I need to touch you.”

“Just let me take care of you. Please. I want to. I don’t want you to think about anything. Just feel.” He grabbed her hand. Placed the heel of it right over his heart. “Feel what it is that I feel for you.”

She opened her mouth as if about to ask what that meant. Which wouldn’t be good, because Knox didn’t know how to say everything pent up in him right now. So he didn’t give her the chance to say anything. He caught the sides of her panties with his thumbs and swept them down. And then he planted his face right between her legs.

One long swipe of his tongue had Madison bucking against him. That wasn’t good enough. Knox needed to make her totally insensate, mindless, wordless. He worked faster, right at the top of her slit, flicking and fluttering. That made her gasp. Quake. Still not enough.

So he sunk his middle finger deep inside her. Groaned himself, at the slick tightness. Worked in his index finger and crooked them both to the side, just a little. Just enough to make her juices run wetter and her cries run louder.

Knox lapped up her sweetness. Sweeter and better for him than any of the painkillers he’d popped all week. Madison herself was the best drug ever. The one that made him feel like a stronger, smarter, better version of himself. Which was weird, because Knox had always believed that if he worked hard enough, he could do anything. The difference with Madison was that he could finally stop trying so hard and just
be.

The faster he tongued her, the more she moaned and writhed. Knox discovered that if he backed off and barely touched her, Madison absolutely screamed. So he kept his tongue featherlight but fingered her with the same driving rhythm she liked with his dick. Sure enough, the screams alternated with gasps and shudders and finally a long cry that was music to his ears.

It meant she’d been consumed with pleasure. That he’d given her that gift. Knox didn’t care that the taste of her had hardened his dick to titanium. This wasn’t about him getting his rocks off. It was about transporting Madison for a few moments, away from her sadness and confusion and hurt. She needed to stay in that place as long as possible. So he swung her legs onto the bed, tucked the comforter around her, and rubbed his knuckles down her cheek.

“I’ll be right back,” he whispered.

Knox took all four flights at a dead run. There was no time to waste. He needed the police to go after Logan, drag him back to their phone—the only phone he’d been able to connect to in what was left of the mostly destroyed village. Whatever additional bribe it took, he’d pay. Logan was not just walking away from Madison. No fucking way. No way he’d let Madison hear him tear into the guy either. When Logan pulled his head out of his ass, she needed to believe he’d done it of his own free will. Not because Knox had ripped him a new one.

As he raced through the kitchen to the basement door, his phone rang. “Hello?”

“What the fuck kind of blindside was that?”

Logan. The surprise of being called back halted Knox mid-stair. “Stop. Do not, for a second, think that
you
get to be pissed at
me.
”

“I don’t have to think about it. Of course I’m pissed at you, Davies. How could you sic a stranger on me like that?”

He curled his hand tight around the wooden bannister. “She’s not a stranger. Madison’s your half sister.”

“If that’s true—and right now, that’s still a big
if
in my mind—it’s in name only. And since this is the first I’m hearing of her in twenty-eight years, then yeah, I’m filing her under
stranger.
”

“Not her fault. You can’t shoot the messenger.”

“Fuck, yes, I can when she’s in the strike zone. And you put her there.”

Why was Logan being so unreasonable? So harsh? Such a self-centered prick? Why couldn’t he think for two seconds about the person who had been on the other end of the line? “I set up the phone call because Madison was miserable.”

“Why do you give two shits about some random girl? Did she knock on the door one day and give you some sad eyes and an even sadder story?”

“I met her by accident. Didn’t even discover until just over a week ago that you two were related.”

“So you’re screwing her,” Logan said flatly.

Sure, given his history, it wasn’t that big a leap to make. But Knox hadn’t planned to complicate this clusterfuck of a conversation by sharing that information. “None of your beeswax,” he said coolly, resorting to the level of discourse they’d used at the start of their friendship.

“That’s a yes, then. I still don’t see why you’re involving yourself. You screwed her. Which means you left her, just as fast. For fuck’s sake, Davies, you had me collected by the police. That’s a balls-out move, even for you.”

“Stop whining. They didn’t arrest you.” Although right now that didn’t sound so bad. A little rough handling might make him appreciate Madison’s special TLC all the more. “Did they?”

“No,” Logan grudgingly admitted. “I actually know them. We spent a couple of shifts together setting up a well and runoff system. To keep this flooding from happening again. Or at least from getting so serious it wipes out the whole village.”

Damn. Hard to argue with a man who’d put everything in his life on hold to help put back together those of the underprivileged and devastated. “If there was a working phone in the bar—hell, if there
was a bar
still standing there—I’d have sent the bartender to wake you up and drag you to it. Sorry about the police.”

“Whatever.” It was all the apology they ever used with each other. All they ever needed.

Except today, Knox needed more.

He needed Logan to give Madison a real apology.

Frustrated beyond belief, Knox banged the side of his fist into the wall. “Pull your head out of your ass, Marsh. Your dad withheld the information from you. We don’t know why. Take that up with him.”

“Believe me, I will. But not on a phone that could go dead at any second and not work again for another week. The easier option was to be a dick to Madison and end the conversation. Ultimately, no big deal.”

If he weren’t still recovering from his concussion, Knox would’ve bashed his head against the wall. “Look, all Madison is trying to do is make things right. She already loves you, dickhead. Don’t be ungracious.”

“Hey, if somebody gives you a rabid, untrained cheetah for a pet, are you going to say thank you? No. Because that beast will still tear your living room to shit and, oh, slash you to ribbons and feast on you. You don’t have to thank someone for a shitty present you never wanted.”

His voice as sharp as an assassin’s stiletto, Knox said, “Don’t you dare compare her to a rabid animal. She’s a wonderful, warm, and loving woman. All the ACSs like her. So you don’t ever,
ever
talk about her like she’s something you need to scrape off your shoe.”

“She’s met everyone else? Why? What’s going on? This doesn’t add up. Why are Griff, Ry, and Josh suddenly weighing in on your sheet-warmers?”

Logan was pushing Knox way past his breaking point. Madison wasn’t a bimbo. She was special. “I told you not to talk about her like that. She’s your sister. Treat her with respect. Or I will catch the next three planes, bus, and ride the back of a goddamned yak to beat some respect for her into you.”

Hell, his every workday was consumed with tinkering with drone software. If Logan kept pissing him off, Knox just might send a drone to Kazakhstan with Logan’s ass-crack as the target.

“You’re threatening to beat me up for the sake of someone you screwed a couple of times? A total stranger?”

Knox needed to move. To pace off the anger burning in his gut. But he didn’t want to risk changing the angle of reception. Logan didn’t get to hang up again until Knox drove home to him the error of his ways. He white-knuckled the phone, grateful for the almost armor-plating of the protective case.

“This ‘total stranger’ is brimming over with unconditional love for you. When you hung up on her, Madison asked me what she’d done to upset you. She doesn’t care what you do for a living, how much money you make, where you went to school—or, hell, if you’re over there extorting money from nuns. Madison loves you because you’re her brother, and that will never change. Do you even realize how lucky you are to be loved like that?”

“She doesn’t mean anything to me.”

Ungrateful jerk-off. “Well, she means something to me,” Knox yelled. “So fucking apologize to her.”

“Or what?”

Good question. What was a serious enough threat to a guy living without running water and pizza? How could Knox make him understand that Madison
mattered
? “Or I’ll kick your ass out of the rectory.”

“Fat chance.”

“I’m serious. Serious as a bean burrito shit with hemorrhoids. Do right by her. Be her brother…or you won’t be mine anymore.”

Confident he’d finally gotten his message across, Knox thumbed off the phone. Still worked up, as he cleared the bottom step he winged the phone down the hallway.

It didn’t make a satisfying crack against the wall. More of a soft smack as it hit Josh’s palm, extended above his head.