“I know
this great café that serves unbelievable breakfast, let’s go get some food in
you, and then we will get you settled. We are due back here by two o’clock.”
To say
that this felt surreal would have been an understatement. I had never met a genuinely
nice person, until I met Devon. He never asked for any favors. It took me by
surprise. I mean, I was raised with the queen of whores. What else would I
think?
We
quickly fell into a comfortable and normal routine. He didn’t have a girlfriend,
I did see girls leave his room at the butt crack of dawn a time or two. He
never made a pass at me, not once. Even when he did embrace me with a hug or
anything affectionate, it never felt romantic, no ulterior motives, it was just
Devon. Devon not only became my boss, he also became one of my closest friends.
He
still didn’t know a damn thing about me, though he knew more than I allowed
anybody else to see. He never asked too many questions, always talked about the
present or future, and never about the past. A part of me sensed that he knew I
was running away from something, he never pried or poked around to find out
what that was. He had even quit asking about putting me on payroll, hell he
didn’t care. I was making him money. He wasn’t going to rock the boat. I loved
Devon, he became like a big brother to me.
<>*<>
S
<>*<>
I
knew that I didn’t want to follow in my father’s footsteps at a pretty young
age. My mom used to drag me to the hospital sometimes when he would work long
hours. I didn’t mind it when Olivia and Julia were with us, which was most of
the time. I was sure he wasn’t really a doctor. It seemed like he spent more
time doing paperwork, than seeing actual patients. At least that’s how I saw
it.
“Sebby,
I’m dying. I think my heart is broke,” Julia wailed, lying on the examining
table one afternoon while we played around.
“You
better let me have a listen,” I professionally decided.
I
placed the stethoscope in my ears and raised her shirt. She giggled as the cold
metal touched her chest.
“Olivia,
we may need a part of your heart,” I determined.
“You
can’t cut my heart in half,” Olivia laughed.
“Give me
your heart,” I yelled, chasing her around the small examining room. Julia
jumped down and squealed too, as I chased them both with a wooden tongue
depressor, pretending it was a knife.
I caught
Oli first around the waist, and carried her over to the examination table. I
climbed on top of her holding both her wrists above her head with one hand,
while my body weight held down her lower half.
“Ok, Ms.
Matthews, Dr. Vanwell is going to make everything better.”
I
grabbed onto her shirt lifting it right beneath her breasts and with my tongue
depressor I started to pretend I was going to cut into her heart.
“HAHA
Olivia…I will have half your heart!” Julia screeched in a scary voice.
“Traitor!”
Olivia yelled.
We must
have been really loud, because my mom barged in.
“Guys!”
She yelled, and almost stopped immediately once she realized the position I was
in with Olivia.
“Sebastian!
What are you doing, get off of Olivia.” She demanded. I instantly got off of her
and Olivia sat up while pulling down her shirt. I hadn’t even noticed that I
had somewhat developed a hard on. I sat down on the chair hoping nobody noticed
my embarrassment.
“Guys,
we need to go.” We all gathered up in my mom’s car, and nobody said a word on
our ride home.
“Sebastian,
you need to come straight home. Girls, we will see you later.” She stated, as
she exited the car.
“I’m
sorry, Sebastian.” Oli whispered.
“Yeah…I’m
sorry, too. I hope we didn’t get you into trouble.” Julia repeated.
“It’s okay.
It’s not your guys’ fault. I guess we were being too loud.”
I went straight
into my room that day and started cleaning it, hoping that I wouldn’t get into
too much trouble.
I
was caught off guard that evening when my dad came in still fully dressed from
the hospital. He usually showered and changed before he came to see me. He
looked tired. He took a deep breath before he grabbed my desk chair and moved
it over to my bed.
“Come
here, Son.” He asked, as I walked over to sit on my bed.
“I
know we were being really loud Dad, I’m sorry. We won’t do it again, we were
messing around and didn’t realize it, it won’t happen again.”
“That’s
not why I’m here.” He rubbed at his temples relieving pressure that I assumed
was building there.
“I
thought I would have at least another year before we needed to have this
conversation. I guess you are going to be turning fifteen soon.”
“What
are you talking about?”
“Your
mother tells me that she walked in on a compromising position between you and
Olivia today, at the hospital.”
“What
do you mean? We always mess around like that.”
“I
know Son, you’re getting older and it’s not going to be acceptable for you to
continue playing like that.”
“I
don’t understand. We can’t be friends anymore, just because were getting older?
That doesn’t make any sense.”
“No,
I didn’t say that Sebastian, I know you have a great relationship with the
Matthews girls, which is perfectly fine. It’s what your mother and I wanted for
you. Son, your body is going to start changing and so are theirs. Things are
going to start changing.”
“I
don’t want things to change, I like things the way they are.”
“It’s
a part of growing up. Your mother and I are going to be meeting for dinner
tomorrow with the Matthews, to discuss some ground rules. We will let you know
once we know what they are. However, I can tell you one thing I know for sure;
you guys are not going to be left alone anymore without an adult being in the
house and the bedroom doors will always remain open from now on.”
“What
do you think is going to happen Dad?”
“Has
your body started to change? Are you starting to feel different?”
Oh
God. He wanted to talk about sex. He thought I was going to have sex and now he
wanted to discuss it with me. If this day couldn’t get any worse, it just did.
“Dad,
I don’t want to talk about this.” I asserted.
“It’s
perfectly normal if you are. I was your age once. I know it’s confusing and
change always is. Becoming a man is a confusing time for any boy. Just how
things are changing with you, they are also changing for those girls. I don’t
want any lines crossed. Do you understand what I am saying, Son?”
“Yes,
I understand.” I really didn’t, I just wanted to get him out of my room.
“Alright,
well I promised your mother that I would tell you this, and as uncomfortable as
you are right now it needs to be said.” He signed again.
“You’re
going to be starting high school soon, and you’re going to start to have
certain urges. I want you to know that you can always come to me to talk about
it. I want you to make sure that you are always safe. Do you understand?”
“Mmm
hmm.”
“Son.”
“Oh
God, Dad! Yes, I understand. You want me to wrap it up, right? Yes, I know. I
don’t want to become a dad or you guys grandparents. I’m not dumb.”
“I
know that. I just want to make sure you are aware that there are consequences
to every action. And like I said before, I am always here for you and you can
tell me anything. Now…do you need to tell me anything? Your mother is very
upset by what she witnessed today.”
“No,
Dad. I mean we’ve never done…you know. I mean…I kind of, I guess you could say,
I sort of have feelings for Olivia. I would never do anything that she didn’t
want to do.”
“What
about Julia?”
“No,
I love Julia, but it's a different kind of love. I don’t even know how to
explain it. When I’m with Oli, everything changes, especially if we are alone.
Does that make sense?”
“Of
course.”
“I
would never want to hurt Julia, Dad. I love her, the way I feel for Oli is just
different.”
“Has
anything happened between you and Olivia?”
“No…I
mean…not really. I guess we’ve sort of kissed a couple times, it’s complicated.
We don’t really discuss what is going on, I know she feels the same way about
me, and we both don’t want to hurt Julia. So we’re sort of at a standstill.
Ugh! I’m so confused.” I whimpered, as I dropped my head to my hands. My dad
patted my back.
“I
know, Son. You and Julia have known each other since you were basically born. I
know you care for her, and I’ve seen the way you and Olivia have looked at each
other. As much as Julia might be hurt, I’m sure she has noticed it, too. Women
have that sort of intuition about them. You’ll learn that as you get older.”
“She’s
never said anything about it Dad.”
“And
she may never, nevertheless, Son in life you have to just be honest with
people. If you and Olivia want to hang out in a different way, then you have to
do what makes you happy. I love those girls like they were my own. Either one
would be lucky to have you,” I smiled at him.
The
conversation may have started off uncomfortable, but at the end, I found myself
relieved to have been able to share that with someone. I learned that day that
my dad was right. Things were going to change, as to what extent I wouldn’t
find out until later.
<>*<>
Y
<>*<>
I ended
up learning a lot about the bar business while I worked for Devon. I worked for
him for about two years. After about three months of living with him I got a
car, I knew that I needed to be saving for an apartment, but I couldn’t pass on
the deal that was in the ad. It was a 2010 black Honda Civic coupe, and I named
her Knight. I got myself a decent apartment in Coconut Groves, a month in a
half after that. It had two bedrooms, two baths, and the kitchen had stainless
steel appliances with granite countertops. There was a small nook that I put a four-seater
dining table in. I bought all new furniture, kitchen supplies, and whatever
else I needed. I even got a fucking bath rug from Bed Bath & Beyond.
I was
home. For the first time in my life, I had a home, something that I did all on
my own. I know it probably sounds a little cliché, you would have to experience
where I came from to be excited about a two bedroom apartment in Coconut
Groves. I took great pride in my new apartment, keeping it clean, and stocked
with whatever groceries I wanted to buy. Yeah, I could do that. I didn’t have
to wonder if I was going to get fed, I ate what I wanted.
Devon
never made a fuss about me leaving. He knew that I needed it. I moved farther
away from South Beach, because I didn’t have the capacity to stay out of
trouble. It called to me. I figured that if I lived a bit away from trouble
then it wouldn’t find me. I know now that I was really wrong to make that
assumption.
Even
though living with Devon was great, I still enjoyed being on my own, very much.
I guess by making myself invisible all those years, it kind of stuck with me. I
still liked the quiet and being alone. I assumed it was just the independent
part of me, years of taking care and fending for myself
I loved
to do what any normal girl would; read, lay out by the pool, shop, go to the
beach, and exercise. I never talked about my past, or myself, and in order to
have friends you sort of had to do that. Therefore, I kept most of my ‘friends’
at an arm’s distance. I preferred it that way, and I think they just thought
that I was a reserved person. You’re probably asking yourself if I had made a
decent life for myself, why I didn’t just stay in the hospitality business? I
guess the only answer I could give you was that I felt like my life was missing
something. I mean, sure, I still had men that wanted me, and I made lots of
money by taking advantage of that want, however it wasn’t the same. I missed
the power…
AGAIN, I
am getting ahead of myself. I seem to tend to do that, it’s like I just want to
get to the good parts and skip everything else in between. It’s the whore in me,
I guess. In the two years of working at the bar, I experienced a lot of firsts,
first time I smoked pot, first time I snorted cocaine, first time I took
ecstasy, first time I tried pain killers, and the first time I got so fucked up
that I puked for several hours straight. Hmmm…are you seeing a pattern…I worked
in at a high-class bar in the heart of Miami, South Beach, what did you think I
would get into?