Until There Was You (33 page)

"It's cool, Mr. Grace. It wasn't as bad as I thought," Jake said, flipping his blond hair back.

Nate remembered the first time he'd seen Jake Simpson, when he had asked Nate about writing at his speaking engagement. He had known then that Jake had wanted to write, to express himself outside of the limits of the rigid high school structure. Since then they had worked together on creating a Creative Writing club and making it at least a little bit popular. Some of the football team had even joined, although they assured Nate it was just to get extra credit. They had plans to start a local newspaper to display some of the student's pieces over the summer; they had collected short stories, poems, reviews, and essays to publish and distribute to parents and friends. Jake had talent and an interesting point of view, even if he was nervous to show it sometimes.

Nate felt a little tired; he'd had a dull day of guidance meetings with the graduating students, and his head was swimming with grades and colleges admission policies and some of the teenagers' more personal home problems.

"I told you, Mr. Grace is my father," Nate said for the hundredth time.

"What should we call you, then?" Shawn, the quarterback, asked.

"Nate. Just my name." Nate shrugged.

"That feels weird," Shawn replied, scrunching his face up in disgust.

"Okay, umm. What about Mr. G? I already feel ancient, and you guys calling me Mr. Grace makes me feel like I should be booking into a retirement home," Nate said, laughing.

"Okay, Mr. G," Shawn and Jake repeated in unison.

"You can go now, or stay for a bit—God knows there's enough food," Nate said, surveying the room to make sure that everything was perfect.

"We've got practice, but can we take some food with us?" Jake asked, heading towards the door.

"Sure."

The boys all grabbed some food and shoved it into their sports bags, then left with a chorus of, "goodbye Mr. G," and the bang of the door closing threw silence over the room. Nate took the reprieve from madness to think about how far he had come in the last four months. This school, which had once been a place of anguish, had become a home away from home, a place where he felt he made a difference and touched people's lives. He loved working through problems with young people and giving them a little peace of mind. He tried not to give people advice, but help them find their own answers, to find their own paths.

Nate turned the cake around; the big fondant boat was visible from all angles. Bailey had become obsessed with all things aquatic and it seemed like a fitting theme to celebrate his fifth birthday. The time had flown by; Nate couldn't really believe that he had been back home for over four months, or that everything had worked out like it had.

Nate was dragged from his thoughts by the sound of the gym door opening. He looked over and saw Cecily waltz through the entrance carrying balloons, her son Tommy, and a precariously balanced present. She screamed excitedly, put everything on the ground, and ran up to Nate, embracing him in a vanilla-scented hug. They jumped up and down together. Nate hugged her tightly back, happy to have her close by. The love between them was almost palpable.

"I met Abel. Where do you find these hunks? Do you keep them in a cupboard somewhere? He looks like a real life Actionman. And his
arms,
" Cecily whispered conspiratorially.

"Tell me about it. Sometimes I see him working on the boats and I can't believe he's real," Nate replied, picking Tommy up and squeezing his wriggling body.

"And he seems really nice! It's not fair," Cecily whined dramatically.

"Yep, he is nice, so keep your hands off," Nate said, putting Tommy down and watching as he ran way and grabbed at the balloons that were hanging from the ceiling.

"Maybe I should move out to the country if all the men are like that," Cecily said, keeping a close watch on her son.

"They are not, believe me. I'm so glad that you're here. I've missed you so much it's ridiculous." Nate pulled Cecily into another hug.

"No, you haven't; you've been shacking up in your little log cabin with Mr. Muscle. I read the chapters that you sent over. It's the best thing that you've ever done, I could barely stand to drive here, I wanted to finish it so much," Cecily said, her voice muffled by Nate's sweater.

"Really? I'm nervous about it. More nervous than about anything I've ever written. It feels like uncharted territory. Somehow it doesn't seem as light." Nate let go of his grip on Cecily and stepped backwards to allow her a little bit of space.

"I think that's what I like about it. It feels more serious, more meaningful. I really loved the bits that you sent—when is the publication date?" Cecily asked.

"I'm having trouble with the last chapter. I feel like I've used all the words in the world, it's ridiculous. But my publisher wants it in by the end of the month." Nate pulled at his collar slightly.

"It'll be great. Does Bailey know about all of this?" Cecily asked, gesturing around the room at the elaborate decorations.

"I hope not. I've been treating it like a covert military operation. Abel and I have been planning it for weeks. He's taking him out of the boat for the afternoon and he's driving him here afterwards. All his friends from the school kindergarten will be here in a minute," Nate said, brushing an invisible crease from his sweater.

"Don't be nervous. Everything is great." Cecily rubbed Nate's arm supportively.

David pushed through the gymnasium door, trying to juggle some paperwork and a mug of freshly brewed coffee. He put them on the desk at the back of the room and pushed his glasses up his nose before stepping towards Nate and pulling him into a generous hug.

"Dave, this is Cecily. Cecily, this is David. He's my boss and one of my oldest friends," Nate said.

"Oh. Hey. Hello. Um, hi," Dave stammered.

"Hey. Hello and hi to you too." Cecily grinned.

Nate stood back and watched in fascination. His friends were circling each other; Cecily put her hand out and David took it quickly. Neither of them moved their hands as they started to speak to each other. Nate was desperate to know what they were saying, but he knew his presence would stop the flirtation. As they chatted, Nate could see a spark in both their eyes. He always felt like it was a fragile little miracle when people found each other—especially when they weren't looking for them. He hadn't considered the idea that Cecily and David would hit it off, but it made sense to him now. He looked on at the odd and touching mating ritual that was playing out in front of him and let the moment warm him. It was like watching a romantic comedy in real time. He felt his face and realized that he had broken into a ridiculous smile. His couldn't help himself; his cheeks hurt with excitement.

Nate jumped a little when he felt a mysterious hand on his shoulder. He spun around and found himself looking at Emma's smiling face before taking a step back to give himself the chance to scan her outfit as he always did. Today she was wearing a white vest that she had sewn little baby blue canoes onto, a pastel blue cardigan, and a blue-and-white maritime-themed skirt in honor of Bailey's birthday.

"You look amazing," Nate said, pulling Emma into a hug.

"Thank you, I'm feeling a bit stressed out. I hope everything's okay. Bailey was really adamant about everything being vegan—I tried to convince him that we could have some 'normal' party food, but he wasn't gonna budge. I think the cake turned out okay." Emma rushed through her words, clearly anxious.

"Everything looks fantastic. I can't thank you enough for all of this. I don't even know where I would have started with all of Bailey's demands. I hope you know how much you've helped me through this whole thing. You've made coming back so much easier for me and Bailey. I'm so thankful." Nate noticed a tear bunch in the corners of Emma's eyes and felt the same thing happening to him. "Ugh. What's wrong with us? We need to stop this."

"You're right," Emma replied as she wiped her eyes. "Where's my brother?"

"He's with Bay."

The door slammed open, bursting the adult bubble that had grown around the room. Hordes of children came into the gymnasium carrying gifts and cards and pulling behind their weary-looking parents, who looked at the coffee on the buffet table like it was a water fountain in the desert. Nate greeted everyone and helped them find comfortable hiding places before running around the room to straighten everything up. He could feel his perfectionist impulses rising and tried to calm himself.

His cell phone vibrated in his pocket, and he pulled it out and scanned the text. It was Abel warning that he was with Bailey in the parking lot. Nate crouched down next to Cecily and texted back, instructing Abel to come in. He signaled for someone to turn the lights off and darkness descended on the gymnasium.

Everybody could hear Bailey asking Abel questions as they got closer to the darkened gymnasium. It was obvious that he didn't know the surprise that was in store for him and Cecily looked as if she was going to burst with excitement. Bailey's little voice grew louder until he was a few steps away from the door. Everyone in the room jumped from their crouched positions and sprang into action, throwing confetti and pulling party favors. Glitter fell from the air. People shouted and cheered in excitement as somebody pushed the light switch and the guests were illuminated.

Bailey jumped up and down and ran around in a circle, completely surprised. His face was lit from within, beaming with joy and astonishment. Then he jumped up so that Abel could catch him and then throw him in the air expertly, like they did most mornings. It had become a little routine, one which Nate had been nervous of at first, but had learned to accept in order to stop Bailey from whining. Nate felt his heart melt a little as he saw them, how comfortable the two most important men in his life were together. How much they accepted each other and worked to be a part of each other's lives. Nate couldn't have imagined that he would find anything like this again, that he would feel the kind of happiness that he thought had walked out of his life when Joshua had closed the door.

Bailey ran to Cecily and kissed her on the cheek." Hello, Aunt Cici. How did you know where to come? I can't believe that you're here! I can't believe everybody is here! It's very fun!" Bailey's voice was shaky with excitement and his eyes were wide, taking in all of the presents and balloons and friends. He looked around as if he couldn't quite get his brain to understand what was happening, like he was experiencing everything through a veil of undiluted exhilaration.

"Well, Bay, your dad rang me and told me that he was having a party for you. So I put Tommy in the car and drove up here. We are very happy to see you." Cecily kissed Bailey back and rubbed his back warmly.

"Oh, Tommy! I didn't even know that you were here. This is so strange!" Bailey said, shaking Tommy's hand as if he was meeting an associate at a law firm. Nate couldn't help but smile at the scene.

"Hello, Bay. I haven't seen you in a long time. Happy birthday." Tommy smiled back, clearly eager to start playing with Bailey's school friends and get stuck into the celebration.

"Let me go and show you my new friends, Tommy!" Bailey said, turning on his heel and running towards the crowd of kids who were playing with toys and creating imaginary battles to reenact.

Tommy followed quickly and was accepted into the group as soon as Bailey introduced him. Nate thought about how open children were to new things, how adaptable they were to new situations even when they had been hurt.

Nate snaked his arms around Abel's and rested his head on his shoulder for a long beat. Abel's fragrance was subtle but familiar; it grew stronger as he bent down slightly to kiss the top of Nate's head. "Thank you for keeping Bailey off the scent today. I just so wanted to surprise him. I think he needs it, you know, something definitive to usher in our new life together." Nate sighed contentedly, his eyes following Bailey's fidgety form as he ran from friend to friend pretending to be a fighter plane, then an all-star football player, and then a policeman.

"Everything looks great, babe. Your obsessive compulsiveness has finally come into good use," Abel joked, pulling Nate a little closer.

"Just because I'm not the world's most outrageous slob doesn't make me OCD. It just makes me like any other self-respecting person. If we lived how you wanted, we wouldn't have been able to get out of the front door for old newspapers. In fact, I don't know how you lived before me. You should thank your lucky stars that I waltzed in and stole your heart." Nate put his hand into Abel's and looked up at him, smiling. It was a smile that could still catch him off guard and make him feel punch drunk.

"I do. Thank the stars. Not for the cleanliness thing—just for the whole you being in my life thing." Abel kissed Nate's forehead tenderly, sending a shiver all along his body. Nate wanted to fall into Abel's body and get swept up in their new relationship in their old gymnasium. He wished that he could go back in time and meet his high-school self. There were so many things he wanted to say: that everything would be okay; that bad things would happen, but they wouldn't knock him down for too long. That people would do things to him that he would have to forgive and that he should forgive as quickly and easily as possible. But, most of all, he would tell the pre-Joshua Nate that he would one day get to kiss Abel—and that he would be even more handsome than the jerky jock that he knew at the moment.

"Hey, you two, your happiness is making me feel sick and the company of these yummy mummies is making me want to faint with boredom," Cecily laughed, drinking some white wine from a paper children's cup.

"Shut up, you are the yummiest mummy in the western hemisphere and you know it," Nate replied, pulling Cecily into a three-person embrace.

"I'm going to do the rounds quickly and get us some drinks. You two talk. But I don't want any embarrassing stories about my past. No secrets; just praise." Nate kissed them both and walked around the hall, interacting with parents and colleagues jovially.

Eventually he filled a tray with some drinks and snack foods and walked over to his family. His mother smiled widely and radiantly, her face immaculately made up and her whitening hair reflecting the sunlight regally. She looked genuinely thrilled to be at her grandson's birthday for the first time. She had three presents under her seat and her bright eyes were filled with happiness. She took two glasses of red wine for herself and Viola and a beer for Bernard. Viola kissed Nate on the cheek carefully so as to not knock the balance of the tray; she was characteristically and elegantly dressed in shades of purple.