Andrew was resplendent in a beautifully tailored suit, but his arms were crossed in a rather odd fashion. Before he could explain, a tiny head popped out of the front of his jacket. It was a little Yorkshire terrier puppy, with round shiny eyes and a happy doggie expression. Renee raised her eyebrows.
“
And who might this be?” she asked.
“
That’s Chaka,” Andrew said and grimaced as another small head made its way out. “And this is Patti. Or whatever you want to call them.
They
told me you would like the gown. They’re here to keep you company,” he added anxiously.
It had suddenly occurred to him that surprising someone with two puppies was not necessarily the brightest thing in the world. He needn’t have worried, though; Renee was enchanted with the little dogs. They were black and tan and shone with the high spirits of good health. They also seemed to recognize Renee as ‘mama’ and took right to her. She lifted them out of Andrew’s jacket and cooed over them like he had given her the crown jewels of England. After sitting down with them on the sofa for a few minutes, she turned her attention to Andrew.
“
You are truly the most thoughtful man in the world. You knew I’d be missing that silly cat of Bennie’s and you went out and got me these adorable little dogs and the limo and the gown and just everything. On top of all you’ve been doing at work, you do this for me,” she sniffed. She couldn’t help it; tears were running down her face freely by then. She stood up and was hugging him around the neck with everything she had and telling him how much she loved him and missed him and needed to be with him. Meanwhile, the puppies were amusing themselves by stalking the deadly throw pillows on the sofa. Their excited barks punctuated Renee’s declarations of love and Andrew was touched to his very soul.
“
Is this what it’s going to be like when we have kids, Renee? Barking, whooping and hollering every time we try to be romantic?”
Renee smiled through her tears and nodded. “Only worse, I’m afraid, because I think I want a lot of your babies,” she confessed.
Andrew was overcome with the enormity of what she had just said. He just held on to her without saying a word. Finally he said, “Well, we’d better get in some intimate moments before this house is filled with infants. Come on, woman, I’m dying for you.”
He had her upstairs and naked before she could utter a sound. Much, much later, after they had finally eaten the meal he had arranged to be catered and the puppies were put to bed in their crate, they were back in bed, safely wrapped in each other’s arms. Andrew had one more point to make to Renee before they went off to sleep. “That is positively the last time you’re going anywhere without me. I can’t stand being away from you,” he murmured. “Me either,” she said softly.
“
So that’s the deal. No more trips apart. Period,” he yawned and used the rest of his strength to kiss Renee again before they both fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.
***
Renee still saw Yolanda about once a month, more to chat than anything else. This month, however, Renee felt a real need to talk with Yolanda. After their usual greeting, Yolanda could see that Renee had something on her mind, something that she didn’t hold back.
“
Yolanda, I was in the airport in Atlanta, and I thought I saw him,” Renee confessed.
“
Him?” Yolanda probed gently.
“
Him. The one. The miserable bastard who raped me, Donovan Bailey,” Renee said in a monotone. She didn’t say anything else for a few minutes and then she looked at Yolanda with a shaky determination.
“
That’s the first time I have spoken that name since I reported it to the police. It was as if I thought saying the name would make him appear somehow. Donovan Bailey. Donovan Bailey. Do-no-van Bai-ley. Oh, look, lightning didn’t strike me or anything,” she said hoarsely. Her bravado wouldn’t have fooled anyone, especially Yolanda; this was obviously difficult.
Yolanda urged her on gently. “What happened when you saw him Renee? When you saw the man that you thought was Donovan Bailey?”
“
I froze,” Renee said quietly. “I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, I couldn’t even blink. Then I got nauseous. If I hadn’t been so stunned, I probably would have made a huge, ugly scene right there in the terminal. I just felt dizzy and queasy and sick to my very soul. But Bennie was there and they called my flight and when the plane landed here I was fine.”
She went on to tell Yolanda all of the wonderful things that Andrew had arranged for her as a welcome home surprise. Yolanda was once again impressed with the playful and sweet relationship that they were enjoying. She had to ask a pertinent question, though.
“
Did you tell Andrew what you thought you saw at the airport?” Yolanda asked quietly.
“
No, I didn’t,” Renee said in an equally quiet voice. “I wasn’t completely sure about who I’d seen, and I didn’t want to give it energy in any case. It all happened a long, long time ago. It’s over. I have a new life and a new love and he can’t touch any of that,” she said confidently.
Yolanda let that statement settle and watched the determination on Renee’s face. “One last thing, Renee, and then we’ll have some tea and relax. If you were to encounter Donovan Bailey, if you were to come face to face with him, how would you handle it?”
Without hesitation Renee answered, “I’d kill him, or try to.” She drew in a sharp breath as she realized what she’d just uttered.
But I’m not taking it back.
In the awkward silence that followed her outburst, Renee had a moment to reflect that perhaps she wasn’t quite as well adjusted as she might like to think.
But it’s not like I’m going to Europe to gun the man down. I’m not
supposed
to forget what he did to me.
It was really a moot point, she told herself. It was just a bizarre variation on word association, although part of her was a bit piqued that Yolanda had sprung it on her like that.
They had a quick cup of tea and Renee used the puppies as an excuse to dash home. By the time she got her charges walked, fed and given them an outing in the backyard, she was feeling much better about the session. She was, after all, in control of her life and was enjoying every minute of it. There was nothing that creature could possibly do to her, nothing at all. She was free of him and of his specter. As far as she was concerned, there was no such creature.
***
Over the next few weeks Renee saw a marked change in Andrew, due solely to his involvement with the surgical team. He was obsessed with eliminating every possible chance that either baby would perish in the attempt to separate them. His usually immaculate house became a forest of articles and books on every aspect of the development of and treatment of conjoinment. He was at the hospital for incredibly long hours, as he was still caring for his regular patients. “Free time” was nonexistent as he spent every waking hour at the clinic, in meetings, in conference on his computer doing research.
Renee was a demon researcher, given her broadcasting background, and she was able to scrounge up obscure information in a heartbeat, for which he was profoundly grateful. She was happy to do it, since it meant that she was helping him in some way. On some days it was her only link to him, but she truly did not feel neglected. She knew that she could not articulate what she was feeling without Andrew becoming terribly embarrassed, but she felt privileged to be a part of his life right now. In her secret heart she thought that Andrew was the most selfless, noble man she had ever known. But she couldn’t say those words to him; he was so self-effacing that they would have had the opposite effect.
Andrew, on the other hand, felt terribly torn by the amount of time that he had to put in on the case. It was ultimately going to be worth it, in terms of saving two lives and contributing to medical science, but Renee was still his major priority in life and he knew she was getting the short end of the stick.
“
I’m going to try, as soon as this is all over, to make this up to you in some way,” he promised. His large, beautiful eyes were troubled as he looked down at Renee. They were in his office late one night. Renee had insisted on bringing him a hot meal instead of the cafeteria food or fast food that he had been ingesting. She absolutely melted at the expression on his face.
“
You,” she said, tapping him on the chest with her index finger, “don’t have anything to make up to me for. I knew who you were and what you did long before we fell in love. You don’t ever have to apologize to me for doing what you do. You concentrate on doing your best for those babies and when it’s all over, we’ll be back on track. Now, kiss me and eat this or I will give it to you intravenously,” she threatened. Sighing with gratitude, Andrew held Renee as tightly as he could for a long time.
“
This would be so much more difficult without you, Renee,” he murmured. “I don’t care what you say; when this is all over we’re going to some island somewhere and disappear from the rest of the world for about a week so I can remind you how much I love you.”
Renee kissed Andrew with a gentle sweetness that was as comforting as it was stimulating. “Baby, I already know,” she assured him. It was now the middle of November and Thanksgiving was looming near. It was the next week, actually, and it had been decided long ago that Big Benny, Martha, Donnie, Adam and Renee would visit Bennie and Clay in Atlanta with Andrew, of course. It simply was not going to be possible, though. The surgery had been postponed twice, once to allow the babies to recover from an infection and once so that they could gain a few more precious pounds before the trauma of the surgery. Now it was going to take place the Monday before the holiday and that made travel impossible for Andrew. Renee was going to stay with him, but he wouldn’t hear of it.
“
Look, baby, this can’t be all about me. I can’t have you putting your life on hold indefinitely because of my career choices. I want you to go with the family and see Bennie and Clay. You know she’s dying to see you, especially since she’s pregnant.”
Andrew and Renee were curled up on the soft gray sofa in her suite, basking in front of the fire that was burning fragrantly in the fireplace. Renee sat her cup of hot cider down on the end table so that she could make a point to Andrew. Taking both of his hands, she clasped them to her.
“
Andrew, for the last time, this isn’t a sacrifice. Over the course of our life together, there are going to be times when we compromise, when one person’s needs take precedence over the other. I don’t have a giant scoreboard in the basement somewhere where I tally up our count or something. We decided that we didn’t want to be apart anymore and now you’re pushing me out the door. Honey, there’s no place that I would rather be than here with you for the holiday. This is our first big holiday as a couple and even if you’re at the hospital most of the time, I still want to be with you.”
Andrew’s eyes were full of love and passion as he heard her out. “Damn, you’re sweet. You’re just sweeter than anything I can think of and I love you for it. But,” he cautioned as he began kissing her, “I’m not going to change my mind.” They exchanged a few more sweet, hot kisses before he pulled away and looked directly into her eyes.
“
My sweet Renee, I realize that this is our first big holiday together, but I’ll be so concerned about you that I won’t be able to concentrate on my work. Please go with the family to Atlanta and I’ll make a vow that I won’t willingly be separated from you again. After we’re married I’ll be so close to you that you’ll get sick of me.”
Renee opened her mouth a couple of times to protest and then gave up. She did bring up another topic, though. “So was that a formal proposal?” she asked sweetly.
Andrew thought about his last few statements. “Hmm. I didn’t mean to ask you like that. I meant to do it romantically, and sweep you off your feet or something,” he admitted with a frown. “But I can’t take it back. I love you more than my life and I can’t possibly live without you. I want to share my whole life with you and make some beautiful babies and take care of you and make you happy,” he said sleepily. “So you have to marry me, Renee. You’re mine.” Renee kissed him softly and laid her head on his shoulder. “And you are mine.”
***
Thanksgiving was much better than Renee thought it was going to be. It was wonderful, as a matter of fact. She and Bennie cooked together and had a chance to really catch up, And Bennie could talk about her pregnancy and all of the wonderful plans she and Clay were making for the future. There was a huge gathering for Thanksgiving dinner; even Clay’s sister Angelique made an appearance. Angelique was not cut from the same cloth as the rest of the Deverauxes; she was stuck-up and rude, despite being extraordinarily gorgeous. She and Donnie had crossed swords in the past and it took about 30 minutes for a rematch, after which she slammed out of the house. Donnie shuddered as she left and made an exaggerated face of fear. “Renee, if Bennie’s kid takes after Evilene they’re going to have to chain it in the backyard and throw meat at it,” he predicted.
Renee tried not to laugh, but Donnie looked so serious that she couldn’t help but snicker. She was relaxed, happy and full of family feeling. Her mother was safely in New York as it was LeeAnn’s turn to host her for the holidays. She had spoken with all of her family and had even talked briefly to Andrew who had surprised her with a call despite his total immersion in the surgery. It was just a pleasure to bask in the bosom of her friends who would soon be her family. Renee smiled a secret, happy smile as she looked at the people who would soon be her in-laws. Before long, she and Bennie, who were as close as sisters, would really be sisters-in-law. And Big Benny, who had so often referred to her as his other daughter, would truly be her father-in-law.