Read Until My Heart Stops Beating Online
Authors: Tonya M Barber
After a few seconds had passed Makeba eyed her suspiciously. “Why the change of heart all of a sudden?” She asked as they resumed their stride.
“I can recall when I was introduced to Sarah. She didn’t like me very much. That was clear from the moment she laid eyes on me. Yet, she put her feelings aside and supported her son in his decision to date me, eventually making me his wife.”
Silence.
“I so envied the relationship you had with her. We never were that close and I have no one but myself to blame for that. When Michael and I married I didn’t give her much reason to. I challenged her every chance I got. I was his wife and I felt as though I was the one with the most authority. Not such a good idea. After Michael had died, I calmed down and tried desperately to build a loving relationship with her but it didn’t happen. I had burned my bridges to the point where our relationship could not be mended.”
Arriving at the room, she helped Makeba back into bed then pulled the covers over her. Makeba continued to listen as Shelly spoke. It was as if she was in a confessional or something.
“I have two beautiful grandbabies and it would be a blow to my heart if I was prevented from having a relationship with them.”
There it is. That’s it. She had just exposed her motive. The only reason she wants a fresh start is because she thinks she won’t be allowed in her grandchildren’s lives. Makeba rolled her eyes in disgust. She grimaced in pain as she grabbed the nurse call button remote and raised the head of her bed.
“Listen Shelly, I have no intention of keeping you from the children. I would never deprive my children of a healthy relationship with their grandmother regardless
of what has happened between us, so if that’s why you’re here pouring your heart out and asking for a new start, please don’t.”
“On the contrary dear. I’m sincere in my apology and I mean every word.”
Makeba bit lightly on her bottom lip glaring at her with a look of distrust and disbelief and Shelly saw it in her eyes.
“Give me a chance to make things right. I think Declan would appreciate both our efforts.”
“I’m sure he will.”
Makeba adjusted herself in a more comfortable position and drifted off to sleep.
IN ANOTHER LIFE TIME
Squinting from the bright sun, she gazed out over the horizon as she stood on the deck reminiscing about her encounters with granny. A tearful smile spread across her lips. Ten days ago she was ecstatic about granny seeing her great grandchildren and in an instant her excitement turned to loss and pain. It was difficult for her to comprehend why she had to experience a birth and death all in the same night. The birthdays of her babies would always be bittersweet. Feeling like a cruel joke had been played on her, she silently asked God why? Why did she have to experience such joy and deep pain in the same day. As she hung her head low, she closed her eyes trying to fight off the overwhelming emotions that threatened to envelope her.
Feeling strong arms embrace her from behind gave her a sense of security. It was assurance that it was ok to
release all the emotions and all the tears she stifled over the past few days. Sobbing while holding tight to the banister of the deck, Declan gripped her tighter turning her around and pulling her into his chest. He wished he could take her pain away but he couldn’t. No one could. His pain was just as great as Makeba’s, but he knew he had to hold it together and be strong. Since she was released from the hospital, he tried convincing her to stay home, stating that attending granny’s funeral would not only be an emotional strain but a physical one as well. His
efforts angered her and understandably so. She refused to stay home as he knew she would. He was concerned about her, especially since she only returned from the hospital two days ago. It was apparent that she was still tender from the C-section but what could he do? He couldn’t chain her to the bed to keep her from attending. If he could, he wouldn’t anyway because he knew the closeness his grandmother and his wife shared. Never had he witnessed Granny so taken by anyone. The very moment he brought Makeba home, they connected instantly, like magnets.
Empathetically, he cradled her in his arms as he softly rubbed her back.
“I’m going to miss her too honey.”
Taking a few steps back, she wiped her eyes and glanced at him.
“I know you will and I’m so sorry.”
Glancing at her through inquisitive eyes he asked, “For what?”
“For not being strong enough to get through this. For forcing you to be my rock when I should be yours. Granny belonged to you guys not-“
“Nonsense. Granny belonged to all of us,” he replied as he pulled her into his chest again.
“You should really get going.”
Makeba looked over Declan’s
shoulder. It was Jessica.
Declan turned around. “You're right Jessica. We wouldn’t want to be late.” He squeezed Makeba’s hand. “Are you ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
Leaning down, he kissed her on the lips then they entered the house.
“Jessica, thank you so much for doing this for us. We really appreciate it.”
“It’s not a problem at all Makeba.”
She smiled as she headed to the back room that was decorated as a nursery for
the twins. Smiling, she entered walking on her tippy toes. The twins were asleep looking like little angels sleeping peacefully. Leaning over the crib they shared, she kissed one on the cheek and then the other. Declan crept up behind her gently hugging her around the waist. He turned her around as he gazed into her eyes.
“I want to have more babies with you.”
She chuckled. “We just had the twins less than two weeks ago.”
“I know,” he replied as he rocked her body from one side to the other. “I want to have lots of babies with you.”
“Check with me about five years from now and then ask me that question,” she giggled.
He kissed her lightly. “I will. Let’s go,” he replied pulling her out the door.
~*~
The service was beautiful. Makeba stood at the casket staring at the corpse of the woman she grew to love, she couldn’t help but stand and stare, this wonderful person became an integral part of her life. Oddly enough, she looked just like she did the day Makeba dreamt of her in the hospital; youthful, joyful and tranquil. For the first time since granny’s passing, Makeba was at peace with it. The need to break down was no longer there. Something within her told her that it was ok to let go. At that very moment, she leaned over the casket.
“I will be forever grateful for having known you. I’ll love you forever granny. Rest in heaven.” she whispered then kissed her on the cheek.
Slowly, she walked down the aisle to her awaiting husband. He had his time up there which was short. He could only take so much. The last thing he wanted to do was see granny lying motionless inside a casket with her hands folded across her chest unable to speak. He’d prefer to remember her alive, well, and fussing with whomever dared to challenge her. Her feistiness is what he loved so much about her and now all he knew and loved will be in memories.
TWO YEARS LATER…
Standing with her eyes closed listening to the sounds of the waves splash against the shore then quickly recede back into the ocean, Makeba exhaled relishing in the music created by nature. The warmth of the sun on her skin and the feel of the water soaking her feet was always relaxing. A million thoughts ran through her mind as she inhaled then slowly opened her eyes, she smiled feeling incredibly blessed. Life was good, sometimes better than she thought it could ever be.
Declan couldn’t have been a better husband or father. Since the wedding, Mr. Jones kept his word and got to know him for himself. As she knew he would, he grew to love and respect Declan a great deal. This not only gave Makeba a joyful heart but her mother too.
The Serenity Hotel was so successful they had opened a second hotel in New York City and were negotiating deals to have one built in Chicago. Since New Jersey was their primary residence, Declan bought a five bedroom, 2 bath, 2 garage house in South Orange. Shelly had been to visit at least six times this year already. Her relationship with Makeba was still a work in progress.
Sam was doing such an amazing job with the Chicago office that Declan decided to let him run it permanently as he opened another in Newark. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out between Sam and Jessica. The dissolution of their relationship ended a few months ago. Had it not been Rasheeda who had stolen Sam’s heart, Makeba would have really been heartbroken over the break up. She liked Jessica a lot and thought she was good for Sam. Unbeknownst to her and Declan, Rasheeda and Sam had been secretly dating for the last four months. Once they revealed their feelings for one another, Makeba’s initial reaction was anger, then disappointment. She couldn’t understand why they felt the need to be discreet about their relationship. After explaining how they feared everyone’s reaction, her heart softened and her anger was replaced by happiness and support of their union. For a long time she prayed her best friend would find someone to love and she had but never in a million years would she have thought it would be Sam.
Shyanne met a wonderful young man by the name of Drake Denim. He was tall, dark and handsome, with a smile to die for, and how well he treated her, it was no wonder she fell head over heels for him. The following year, they were married and living on the other side of town.
Marcella was still single but she didn’t seem bothered by it. According to her, marriage was all hype and she wanted no parts of it. Being a child of divorced parents had tainted her perception of what married life could be like if both parties involved loved, respected and communicated with one another. No matter how many times Makeba tried to convince her that marriage could be a good thing, she’d blow her off and change the subject. She couldn’t comprehend Marcella’s take on things but she had to respect it. She wasn’t a child of divorce so she didn’t know how Marcella felt and was damn glad she didn’t have to.
Well, parenthood wasn’t half as easy as they thought it would be but they wouldn’t have changed it for anything in the world. The twins added so much joy to their lives. Even though it had only been a couple of years, they couldn’t imagine what life would be like without them. After much pleading Declan was able to convince Makeba to add to their family. She agreed. No matter how challenging it was, being a mom had become her greatest joy.
“Honey, lunch is ready.”
Startled, she turned around quickly. The corners of her mouth curved into a smile as she looked lovingly into his eyes.
“What?” he asked returning her smile while wrapping his arms around her waist.
“Nothing.”
“Then why are you smiling like you just won the mega million or something.”
“I’ve been out here thinking about how blessed I am to have such a wonderful husband who loves me beyond anything I could have imagined, and two children who have made me happy beyond words.”
“Awe baby,” he replied hugging her tighter. “It’s not hard loving you. I love loving you. I am the one who is blessed beyond belief. Who would have thought a delayed flight and walking into a restaurant that I had passed so many times prior would have changed my life. I haven’t been the same since the day I laid eyes on you. I claimed you as my wife from the first date.”
Pulling her head back, she gazed into his eyes surprised by his revelation.
“Really?”
Nodding his head he said, “Yes, really.”
He covered her mouth with his and kissed her in a way that took her breath away.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you more Declan.”
“For how long?”
She smiled as she gazed into his glossy eyes.
“Until my heart stops beating.”
“You know I used to think that would be enough for me but it isn’t anymore. I’d love you in another lifetime. If there was a way I could request who I could share my next life’s journey with, I’d choose you all over again, and again and again.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she listened to his words and witnessed the depth of love displayed through his eyes. Knowing it was all for her stirred up emotions that were so overwhelming she had no response. Gently, laying her head against his chest, she closed her eyes as she listened to the rhythmic beating of his heart.
“It beats for me,” she said.
“Only for you honey.”
He kissed her on top of her head.
“C’mon,” she said as she took his hands into hers while slowly strolling towards their home.
“Baby.”
“Yes, Makeba.”
“We’re pregnant again.”
Elated, Declan scooped her up in his arms and twirled around in circles. She laughed, holding tight to his neck. Their lips mated as he lowered her back on a leveled plane.
“Life just keeps getting better.”
Laying her head on his shoulder as they strutted to the beach house. “Yes it does,” she replied.