Untangle Me (4 page)

I quickly added his number to my contacts, not wanting to take any chance of losing it. He didn’t ask for mine, but if he would’ve asked, I would’ve given it to him.

Consumed. It’s the only word that accurately describes my thoughts over the last three weeks. Kayden has consumed my every thought, my dreams, and my fantasies. I haven’t spent as much time with Bob since I started chatting with Kayden. My conversations, although I’ve never heard his voice, were far more interesting than anything Bob had ever said.

Kayden: I want to hear your voice, Sophia. Can we talk instead? It’s just hard for me type right now.

My heart pounded at the thought. We’d never spoken on the phone. My voice was more like a teenage girl and I hated the sound of it. I wouldn’t be able to hide my shock or laughter if we talked on the phone. I gnawed on my nail thinking about it. Did I want to talk to him? God, it would be such a letdown if his voice was like a squeak toy or he sounded like Kermit the Frog. I swallowed hard and knew I had to talk to him; I needed to talk to him.

Kayden: You still there?

Me: Yeah, sorry I got distracted there for a minute.

Kayden: Call me then. I don’t have your number woman.

I picked up my phone and stared at it. I tried to slow my breathing and gain my composure. I hit send and closed my eyes.

“Hello.” His voice was smooth and deep… almost a purr in my ear.

“Hi.” I tried to keep my voice even and calm, but I knew it betrayed me.

“It’s nice to finally put a voice with the words,” he said.

I started pacing around the room. The man made me nervous. I needed to find something to do to get my mind off the fact that I was talking to him. Kayden, colorful Kayden, hot Kayden.
What the fuck am I doing? Breathe.

“I thought about not calling you,” I said.

“Why?” He drew the words out.

“I don’t know. It’s a big step, besides I hate my voice.” I’m so negative about myself. I needed to stop pointing out all my flaws.

“Oh stop, I love your voice, it’s sexy.” My heart fluttered with the word love. I knew he didn’t love me, but just the knowledge that he liked my voice made my heart misfire. I needed to find a subject that didn’t center on any feelings that I may have developed for this man over the past couple of weeks.

“Tell me about your harem of women, I find it fascinating.” I chuckled.

“I wouldn’t call it that. I’ve found that a purely physical relationship works best for me.” I could hear the amusement behind his words.

“Do you have more than one woman you sleep with?”

“There is only one right now, but I’m looking for a change.”

“A change?” Did I want to know the answer? I mean, shit, I didn’t want to think about his screwing some girl while I had a lovely dinner with Bob.

“I have someone very specific in mind,” he said slowly, quietly.

“Does she know?” I was torturing myself at this point. I chewed on my lip as I listened to his words. Was he talking about me?

“I’d have to ask her, but I’m pretty sure, she’s a smart girl… She’s had to figure it out by now.”

“Maybe you should tell her.”

“Okay, hold on a sec,” he said as an indistinguishable noise filled my ears.

Utter Silence. I swore at myself, what a fucking dummy I’d been.

I heard a low chuckle, “I want you, Sophia. I don’t want just any woman… I want only you. I want to taste you.” His voice was smooth as silk.

My breathing increased as I closed my eyes. Images of Kayden making love to me and bringing me to my knees warmed my entire being. I was drawn to him; he became a need that I couldn’t fill.

Kayden and I chatted online all day and talked on the phone each night. A month flew by in the blink of an eye. Summer vacation had begun weeks ago and I had entirely too much time on my hands. Time to daydream about Kayden; what it would be like to be with him, kiss him, and touch him.

Suzy, my room mate, and I spent our days at the pool, soaking in the sun. I moved in with Suzy months ago and we’d grown closer during that time. We are co-workers, both single, and loved talking about books and men.

Kayden: What are you doing?

Me: Swimming with Suzy.

Kayden: Send me a photo of your body; Ask Suzy to take it. I want to see all of you, Sophia.

No way would I send him a photo of my body. No fucking way in hell.

“What are you shaking your head about?” Suzy asked.

“Kayden, he wants me to send him a picture of my body in my swimsuit.”

“What are you going to do?” She said with wide eyes.

I shrugged my shoulders and sighed, what was I going to do? “Any ideas Suzy?”

Suzy looked around the pool area, her eyes stopping on the glass doors lining the pool clubhouse. “Oh, I have a fabulous idea.”

Me: I don’t send naked pictures to anyone. No way in hell—not going to happen, Kayden.

Kayden: I never said anything about a naked photo, although that would be fantastic. How about a photo in your swimsuit?

She shared her idea and I couldn’t stop laughing. The glass doors would give the perfect reflection for a snap shot, blurry and imperfect.

“You’re a genius, Suzy,” I said jumping up from my lounge chair.

Kayden: Humor me please…

Me: I don’t have any pictures in my swimsuit. I’ll have to take one.

Kayden: Come on, just do it. For me, please.

Me: Gimme a minute.

I stared into the glass looking at my reflection, fucking genius. The image was muddy and dark, but it would have to do. I snapped a couple of them, picking just the right one, and hit send. I laughed as I walked back to my lounge chair and Suzy.

Kayden: Damn. Your body is amazing. It’s not really clear though. Can you take another one?

Me: Are you zooming in on the photo?

Kayden: Hell yes, but it’s hard to see. You did that on purpose.

Me: You asked for full body shot and I gave it to you.

I smirked knowing how frustrated I just made him. I loved teasing him, the playfulness of all the conversations.

Kayden: I’m not going to get another one, am I?

Me: Nope, that’s all you’re going to get.

Kayden: Why?

Me: I don’t want you seeing everything. Pictures aren’t always kind and can’t be erased.

Kayden: Oh come on, Sophia. You’re perfect.

I wanted to see him naked so badly, I almost salivated at the thought. I had a fantasy of him without clothes, moving over my body, in my body.

Me: Where’s my picture of you… Fair’s fair.

Kayden: I’m working and can’t take one now. I’m all sweaty too.

I never liked the thought of a sweaty man, but Kayden all sweaty fit the scenes that were rolling through my mind.

Me: I want something, anything.

Kayden: Bossy… One second.

A picture filled my screen, him in his work uniform, covered in sweat, standing near a lush garden of tropical plants. I stared at the picture, transfixed by his eyes. The green flecks of his iris matched the color of the leaves framing his face. I was lost in his eyes.

Kayden: Come and see me. It’s summer and you’re off work. Come here, have some fun.

His text pulled me out of my sweaty naked fantasy, pulling me back to reality. Could I take that plunge? I didn’t want to be another fuck—meaningless.

Me: Feel like adding another notch to your bedpost
?

My heart stopped as my phone began to ring. Kayden.

“Hey,” I said.

“Sophia, you aren’t a cheap whore. I’ve never thought of you in that way, ever.” I sighed, still unconvinced.

“Kayden, I didn’t mean to make you mad,” I said, closing my eyes, holding my breath.

“You’d didn’t make me mad at all, Sophia. I just want you to know how I feel, what I feel for you. For the first time in a long time, I look forward to waking up. I check my phone and message you before I even crawl out of bed.”

My stomach filled with butterflies, my voice quivered as I spoke. “It’s the same for me, Kayden; I just want to make sure I don’t become just another girl to you. I have to think about it.”

“Sophia, I don’t want another notch on my bedpost. I want to spend time with you. I want to show you this amazing city; you could use a little fun in your life—wipe away the navy blue.” Navy blue, I stopped seeing Bob weeks ago. I couldn’t pretend to be interested anymore. I wanted to be home to talk with Kayden, my fantasies and daydreams were far better than anything Bob could deliver. “I’ll keep my hands to myself… I’ll be a gentleman. Come on, just a weekend.”

“So you don’t want to have sex with me, then?” I covered my mouth.
What the fuck did I just say?

“Fuck, yes I do,” he said, causing my core to pulse, “I plan on it, you won’t be able to resist me.” He drew out his last words, my body breaking out in a blanket of goose bumps.

“Well it’s nice to know your self-esteem is still tact,” I said.

“What’s stopping you?” he asked.

“I’m not used to sharing, Kayden. I’ve never slept with anyone that I haven’t been in a relationship with; I need to decide if it’s something I can do.”

“I haven’t seen any other women since I started talking with you. I couldn’t do it. You’re all I think about morning until night, I even dream about you.”

“Oh,” I whispered, my heart pounded in my chest, “I thought when you disappeared, sometimes for an hour, that you were with someone.” My body warmed with the knowledge that he hasn’t been spending time in bed with anyone.

“Baby, I need way more than hour. What kind of men have you been with?” he asked with a chuckle.

“I’ll let you know, soon,” I said.

His breathing increase, “If you don’t come here, I’ll come there, Sophia.”

“Okay Kayden, we’ll see if you can find me first,” I laughed into the phone, “Go back to work.”

I thought all week about spending time with Kayden. The positives outweighed the negatives; I couldn’t deny the pull he had over me. I needed to act on my feelings or break whatever this was off… He was becoming distracting to any possible happy future that maybe waiting on me, not involving him. My heart ached at the thought of Kayden not being in my life. He’s become a fixture, a necessity to me like the air I breathed.

Kayden: Well, since you can’t seem to make up your mind, I came to you Sophia.

Me: What?

My stomach dropped and I could feel my heart beating faster.

Kayden: I told you last week, if you didn’t come to me, then I’d come to you.

Me: You’re lying, you aren’t here.

My heart hammered against my rib cage. I looked out my bedroom window, but didn’t see him.

Me: I don’t see you.

Kayden: Look out the front door.