Authors: Charlotte Mills
October
Over eagerness to celebrate Sam’s graduation and a
reluctance to get out of bed led to a morning rush around her flat. Catching
her wink as she flitted from bathroom to bedroom, I followed her movements as I
sat on the bed to put my shoes on. Her wink always reminded me of the first
time we met at the YMCA hostel, and how far we had come from that initial
meeting. It was hard to believe we were just about to celebrate all Sam’s hard
work, achieving the second highest grade in her year on the Legal Practice
Course.
With Sam’s birthday looming on the horizon I had been
racking my brains for a present or way of celebrating, knowing she had a
passport gave me more options, but I needed to fish for more ideas. Luckily
Sam’s mum had taken the hint and stayed away as far as I knew, which made me
both angry and relieved at the same time. Did she get Sam’s hopes up just to
dash them again, if that was her plan I hopped she stayed away forever. We had
talked about it intermittently since her initial surprise visit, she seemed
happier not to talk about it wanting to forget about it entirely, I still
wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not yet.
Watching her as she rifled through draws, before pulling out
a smart skirt suit from her wardrobe, I grinned at the thought of looking at
her slender legs as she walked up on stage to receive her certificate or
whatever it is they hand you. I hadn’t gone to my graduation, deciding to go on
holiday with a small group of friends from my course as each of our family
members were unable to attend. Sam had had a similar thought but I had managed
to talk her round with plans to celebrate, involving a meal out at her
favourite restaurant followed by a weekend away in the countryside.
I was brought back to reality as Sam stood in front of me.
“Does this look okay?”
Blinking I focused my attention on her as she turned around.
“You look great”. I said.
“Really?.....Not too boring?....Too worky?”
I stood pulling her into my arms. “You look
beautiful......most people will be dressed formally won’t they?”
She frowned. “I know.....but I want to look good”.
“Trust me sweetie you do”. I smiled as she brushed my lips
with hers.
“You’d better stop that if you want to get to your
graduation”. I said as I released her.
“We could just skip it and just leave for the weekend”. She
pleaded.
“Uh ah no....I want to see you get recognition for all your
hard work....you’ll be glad you went in years to come”.
“Ummm I guess”. She moved her hand from my waist looking at
her watch. “We’d better get go-“.
Interrupted by her own door bell, she pushed me back on the
bed as she rushed towards the intercom phone. I heard her the shock in her
voice without taking in her muffled words. I scrambled off the bed dodging the
small suitcase by the door, I headed for the kitchen watching as she pressed
the buzzer before slamming down the phone.
“What’s up?”
She turned to me, displaying a stressed look I rarely got to
see with one hand rubbing her forehead. “My mother’s here”.
“Shit....really?....Wait how did she-“.
“I don’t know?...She must have phoned the University”.
“Should I go?”
She grabbed hold of me with a force I wasn’t expecting, the
shock must have been evident on my face. As a look of concern filled her eyes.
“No no no you’re staying with me”.
“But she doesn’t like me”. I tried to sound reasonable.
“It’s not about what she wants....it’s about what I
want...we-“. She was cut off by Mandy Johnson banging on the front door,
blinking back the annoyance she continued. “Are all going...I want you there
with me”. She kept her eyes fixed on me as she opened the door.
As the door opened we were greeted with a slightly
dishevelled lady I struggled to recognise as the Mandy Johnson I had previously
met. Her smart skirt suit and blouse were wrinkled, with slightly saggy tights
leading to dirty patient high heels.
“Mum?...Are you Okay?”
“Samantha....I’m glad I caught you I wasn’t sure....I
thought you might have left or....”.
Her eyes found me stopping her in her tracks as she wobbled
her way into the flat.
“Hello Mrs Johnson, it’s nice to see you again”.
“Hello Alex, I wasn’t expecting to see you here?”
Her emphasis of my name told me all I needed to know, she
still hated me, I caught Sam’s sorry eyes before she replied for me.
“Mum...I wasn’t expecting you to be honest are you sure
you’re okay you look a bit umm............unsteady”. Her tone was slightly
scornful before changing to slight concern.
I had the distinct impression she thought I was in the way
of her developing her relationship with Sam. Did she really think she could
slip in and out of Sam’s life so easily with little effort to rebuild bridges?
I had not seen them greet each other before there was no love loss on Sam’s
part, she seemed to keep her distance positioning herself with furniture of
some kind separating them. As if to ward off any form of affection her mother
might offer.
She smiled at Sam. “Yes I’m fine....I thought we could
celebrate your graduation”.
“Right...okay...I didn’t realise you were coming?”
She stumbled slightly covering it up by leaning on the
worktop. “Of course I was...how could I miss it?”
I caught the frown on Sam’s annoyed face before she stormed
out of the room. “I just need to finish getting ready”.
Great I was left with the flaky, tipsy abandoner Mandy. A
sharp voice broke the awkward silence between us moments after Sam left the
room. “Al can you help me with something?”
“Yep”. Grateful to have an excuse to leave the room.
Finding Sam leaning on the chest of drawers, I moved in front
of her putting my arms around her waist pulling her towards me, I moved my hand
to cup her face. “Hey...are you ok?”
“I’m sorry....she didn’t mean what she said......I’m so sick
of apologising for her....I think she’s been drinking?...I can smell it”.
“She does seem a bit wobbly on her pins.....what do you want
to do?”
“I DON’T KNOW I CAN’T THINK”.
I recoiled at Sam’s sudden anger, I always felt the need to
flee from conflict a result of hearing my parents argue for several years as a
child. Pulling away I quickly thought of where I could escape to, the bathroom
was the only other room with any privacy, I stealthily made my way to the
door.
“Please don’t go.......I’m sorry.....I didn’t mean to take
it out on you”
I turned to her swallowing the lump in my throat. “It’s
okay”. Although I wasn’t sure if I meant it, I did feel sorry for the
predicament she was in.
She quickly made her way towards me, pulling me against her
wrapping her arms around me.
“No it’s not....It’s like she’s some kind of dirty
bomb....infecting everything she comes into contact with....I hate this effect
she has on me”.
We stood there in silence as I moved my hand along her back
trying to soothe her as best I could in her tight embrace. Mandy’s slightly
slurred voice broke the calm. “Samantha I’ve brought a drink to
celebrate....shall I open it before we go?”
“NO.....were going now”. Sam bellowed beside me.
Walking back into the kitchen we found Mandy rummaging
through the kitchen draws looking for I assumed was a corkscrew, not realising
it was a screw top bottle of champagne she had brought with her, only the
finest quality.
Sam finally let rip at that point. “I THINK YOU’VE HAD
ENOUGH DON’T YOU?...IT’S ONLY 10:30 IN THE MORNING MUM...ARE YOU STILL DRUNK
FROM LAST NIGHT?....HOW DID YOU GET HERE?...Please tell me you didn’t DRIVE?”
Mandy seemed genuinely shocked at her outburst. “What?....No
I got a taxi....come on Sammy I’m just trying to celebrate...that’s all.....I’m
proud of you”.
“Really why now?....I think you should stay here and sober
up we’ll pick you up after the ceremony then we can go out for lunch”.
Mandy didn’t even register Sam’s questioning of her
presence, deciding to blank them out instead, her protests to join us were met
with firm rebuttals with the ultimatum of wait in the flat or go home. The line
drawn, I felt sure the flat would be bone dry on our return.
We walked in silence across town to the university hall, as
we got closer I recognised a small number of Sam’s classmates from social
events. Putting my hand on her back as we got closer I broached the mother
issue. “Hey this is your day.......I know it’s hard but I think you’ve done the
right thing”.
We slowed down as we reached the queue for her gown and
mortar board.
“Really?.....I’m not sure anymore....maybe I should let her
make a total twat of herself to shock her into sorting herself out?”
I looked at her seeing the disappointment on her face. “It’s
not your fault she’s like that”.
“I know...it’s just so embarrassing”.
Gown and mortar board in hand we entered the main hall,
greeted by a number of overdressed individuals I vaguely recognised
congratulating each other milling around with parents in tow.
“Why can’t she be like all these respectable sober
parents?.....She’s so frustrating”.
I could see her beautiful green eyes begin to get a little
glassy, I took her free hand in mine getting her attention. “I know....I’m
sorry....I love you...I want you to have a good day....try and forget about her
we’ll deal with it later”.
“I’m sorry she always fucks things up”. She smiled weakly.
“I’m really sorry about earlier to I shouldn’t take it out on you”.
“It’s okay”. I actually meant it this time. “Forget about
it”.
Our heart to heart was broken by fuzzy announcements asking
for people to take their seats.
I smiled rubbing her hand in mine. “I want to see a better
smile than that when you get on that stage...as I’ve brought my camera”.
She grinned. “You will....now help me get this gown thing
on”.
Taking a seat mid row to enable a good view, I realised I
was now surrounded by a mixture of excited and bored parents and partners.
After an introduction from the Dean
of the
university, then the head of the law department, graduates were called up on
stage alphabetically to receive their scrolls.
Hearing doors slamming behind me I looked behind to where
the commotion was coming from, my eyes locked onto a flushed Mandy Johnson, I
quickly turned before we made eye contact. Not that she would want to talk to
me but I certainly didn’t want to encourage her to create a scene in my
vicinity. I wasn’t sure what to do, should I try and calm her down and get her
settled in a seat, or just play ignorant hoping security would escort her off
the premises.
She was a powerful clapper, and certainly not someone to
have a last clap competition with. She started off very enthusiastically,
luckily her interest seemed to slip as the announcer made his way through the
alphabet. As the J’s came around Sam appeared from the left of the stage she
looked nervous until a wide smile developed as she shook hands with the
presenter. I gave a few proud claps before pulling out my camera taking several
photos of Sam receiving her scroll only to have my attention drawn behind me as
a loud crash echoed through the hall. Turning I could see Mandy’s flailing body
on the floor at the end of an isle next to an upturned chair, for once I was
pleased to be penned in. Sam’s eyes glared in my direction I could tell if she
was mad at me for not preventing her mother’s downfall or just plain angry at
her mother. Security were very quick on the scene, I assumed they had been
keeping an eye on her since her arrival. They calmly took an arm each, she
seemed to almost float out of the hall without any kind of fight.
As Sam left the stage I tried to follow her progress unsure
what to do, till she appeared as the side of the stage near where I sat. As the
announcements drew to a close, I squeezed to the end of the row to meet her and
discuss a plan of action. I could see her face was flushed as I approached, I
placed a hand on her arm.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t get to her”.
“It’s not your fault she wasn’t even meant to be here....why
couldn’t she just stay in the bloody flat?”
Leaving the hall we found Mandy smoking with one of the
security guards, as we approached her I could see her face distort.
“Sammy I’m sorry.....Sammy it was an accident”.
“Really?...Nothing to do with you being pissed out of your
head then?...What’s wrong with you?”
Mandy bowed her head, at least she felt shame for her
actions at last. I looked at Sam’s profile I’d rarely seen her this angry.
Taking hold of one of her clenched fists I felt her flinch a little, opening
her hand I gently slid our hands together intertwining our fingers. This seemed
to draw her attention slightly quelling her anger, she turned to me massaging
her temples before speaking in a low voice.
“Can we take her home before she does any more damage?”
“Of course...whatever you want”. I was relieved by her
request, I wasn’t sure I could sit through lunch with Mandy falling of another
chair.
She managed a half smile before turning to Mandy to give her
another blast. “We’re taking you home mother”.
“Sammy no no no....we need to celebrate”. She managed in a
slightly wobbly reply swinging her arms around, looking her over her tights had
become saggier for some reason, and I didn’t want to think about how that had
happened.
Sam countered with a number of firm ‘NO’s’ before explaining
we were going away for the weekend so we could drop her off on the way, or she
could find her own way home.
With a mostly sober Mandy safely deposited back home we
drove on in silence to the spa hotel I had booked, I knew Sam felt embarrassed
for her mother’s actions but I didn’t want her to feel responsible. It was up
to Mandy to sort herself out, if indeed she even wanted to, putting my hand
over hers I broke the silence.