Understudy (8 page)

"Guess what we're going to stage this coming December for our play fest?" he said, his eyes bulging with excitement.

No one answered. No one really cared about the play fest. Most students considered it as an added burden, except for the drama geeks of course.

Mr. Blake's smile faltered, but the excitement never left his eyes. "Come on, why are you all frowning? This is one of the most exciting and long awaited events here at Highcrest every year!"

"I thought that was the homecoming dance," Drake Kendall said, the six−foot point guard for the Highcrest Grizzlies, and the only jock who got decent grades.

Mr. Blake crossed his arms. "That too, Mr. Kendall. But at least this one will help improve your social skills and hidden artistic talents while having fun at the same time."

"The homecoming dance does that too," Bethany Munck said.

"Yeah, plus the booze!" Drake added, which earned him a robust round of applause.

Mr. Blake pressed his lips together, waiting for the clapping to subside. "Thank you, Mr. Kendall, I'll make sure to keep an eye on the punch bowl at the homecoming dance," he said, winking at Drake. Then turning back to the class, he continued, "And now that I have finally gotten your precious attention, I would like to tell you that we'll be staging a Charles Dickens play this year," he paused, scanning the whole room, presumably waiting for some response. There was none. He added,
"It's A Christmas Carol."

Still no answer. Mr. Blake's forehead creased. "What's wrong with you people?"

He walked around his table, pulling out a chair. The room was as quiet as the dead of night. "We'll be having a meeting with the other senior class next week at the gym to talk about role assignments and other things."

Thirty students blinked at him in response, something he must've anticipated all along. Then without breaking a sweat he said, "Pop quiz!

There was a collective groan, and a number of students began protesting and whining about being unprepared. 

Mr. Blake grinned, triumphant. "That's more like it!"

***

Adam was busy examining a tree trunk when I dropped my bag on the ground. I stood behind him and wrapped my arm around his waist, resting my head on his shoulder.

"You're early today," he said, turning his head to kiss me on the cheek before returning back to the tree trunk.

"TRCF was away," I said, kissing his cheek as well. "Mrs. Griffin subbed for the class and you know how much she hates that job."

Adam nodded, still engrossed in whatever it was that was occupying his attention.

"What do we have here?" I asked.

"Nothing, I just saw an insect crawl in it. I was curious."

I bit my lip as I processed his words. So this was his way of passing time? Examining tree barks? My heart bled for him.

As if reading my mind, he turned around and released himself from my grasp.

"So what's new?" he asked, sitting on the ground with his back against the tree.  

"We're going to have the annual seniors play fest," I said, settling beside him.

"That's great. What's it all about?"

"
A Christmas Carol
by Charles Dickens."

"Who are you going to play?"

"I don't know. We'll be talking about it next week. Maybe they’ll hold auditions for it."

"Are you going to try out?"

"No, I'm also not the acting type, remember?" I said, shoving him on the chest. "And I think I have enough credits to get me to a decent college. If I'm going to join this year's play fest, I might as well apply myself as an art director or props maker or something."

Adam nodded and opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. He placed his hand behind his head and sighed.

"What?" I asked.

"What?" he asked back, avoiding my gaze.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"It's not nothing, I'm not blind, Adam," I said. "What's wrong?"

He turned his head slightly, though he still wouldn't met my eyes. "You mentioned about going to college, and I was just wondering if you started sending out your applications."

"Oh, that..."

"NYU, right?"

Now it was my turn to avoid his gaze as I felt his eyes fix on my face.

It wasn't a secret that I had always dreamed of studying at NYU. I spent so much time talking to Sara and Adam about the adventures I'd have if I got accepted that they practically knew them by heart.

I would've sent my application the moment I finished filling out the forms, but with the current state of things, going to college was the least of my concern. I know it was ironic, and my parents would kill me. And yet, I heard myself say, "Yes."

Sometimes, lying is much easier than the telling truth.

Adam's eyes narrowed. "But?"

"There's no but, Adam," I said, keeping my voice even despite the growing uneasiness I felt.

"Your expression says otherwise," he said, stating the obvious. "You won't go?"

I didn't answer. I didn't have to. We knew each other well enough to hear the unspoken words between us. Much like how my parents had communicated around me the past few months.

"Why?" he asked.

Because I'm afraid that I might lose you,
I thought. But I couldn't tell him that. "I can always stay here and go to a community college−"

"No," he said, his voice was firm. It reminded me of when my dad used to reprimand me when I was little.

"But−"

"There's no but, Kat," he said, repeating my own words. "We're not having this conversation again. Stop feeling sorry for me."

"I'm not."

"We both know you are."

A flock of birds flew across the sky, distracting us both, and I took the opportunity to stand up and grab my bag.

"You're leaving already?"

"I have a lot of things to do," I said, beating dust off my jeans. "I have some college application forms that I need to fill out."

Adam's expression remained stoic, but I saw his lips twitch. "I'm just helping you do the right thing," he said.

"Okay."

He tilted his head surveying me.  "You're angry."

Why wouldn't I be? I knew he was right about being right, but I was hoping that he'd understand. He didn't have to pretend that he wasn’t worried that we might end up not seeing each other anymore. I didn't know how this thing worked, but I had the feeling that being away from him would change things.

"See you tomorrow then," Adam added when I didn't respond.

I turned around to look at him, but he was looking the other way. It suddenly occurred to me that he'd literally wait the hours until I came back the next day. Until then, he'd be here all alone, doing who knows what. I wanted to say I was sorry, but it seemed inappropriate given what just happened. Instead, the only thing I managed to say was, "Yeah, see you tomorrow."

***

Mom was hysterical when I walked into the kitchen. Dad stood beside her with his hands on her shoulders, his expression grim.

"What happened?" I asked, I rushing to her side.

"She thinks she saw a ghost," Dad said, rolling his eyes.

"I don't think, I'm sure of what I saw!" Mom snapped at him.

"What exactly did you see, Mom?"

Both of them froze and they turned to look at me as if I just said something inappropriate.

"What?" I asked, confused.

They turned to each other, another one of those silent conversations passing between them.

"Mom, what did you see?"

She walked over to the fridge, turning her back to me. "Forget about it, honey. It's nothing," she said, grabbing a can of soda, which she almost dropped to the floor before Dad took it from her hands.

"It's not nothing if you're shaking," I pointed out.

"It's okay."

"Mom−"

"It's Adam," Dad said, silencing us both.

My jaw dropped open. "What?"

"Your mom thinks she saw Adam."

My legs suddenly felt like they were made of rubber, and I held on to the countertop for support.

Mom was immediately beside me, placing a hand on my shoulder, but I shoved her away.

"Kat−"

"It's nothing. I'm okay," I said, not missing the sudden irony of the situation.   

Dad pinched the bridge of his nose, frowning. "Here we go."

"Why did you tell her?" Mom's eyes were blazing.

"She asked! And you started it anyway."

They continued to argue, but I wasn’t really hearing the words. I was thinking of Adam, how this would affect our situation. Where did Mom see him? Was she in the woods? What was she doing in the woods? Did she see me in the woods with Adam?

"I told you to stop drinking so much coffee," Dad said.

"Don't blame this on my coffee intake, Thomas," Mom said. "I know what I saw. He was even wearing a black v−neck shirt!" 

My heart skipped as I processed this information, and I felt myself calming down, though not enough to hide the bitterness in my voice.

"It's not Adam, Mom."

Dad jumped up, a mixture of triumph and relief washing his features. "See? I told you so!" He popped the soda can open and took a quick gulp. 

"It's his twin brother."

Dad coughed out his drink, some of it dripping out of his nose. "What?!"

Mom sighed. "Oh, honey."

"He has an identical twin brother. His name is Eric."

"A twin brother?" Dad asked, grabbing the dishcloth from beside the sink.

"That's what I said."

"And you're only telling us this now?"

"You never asked, and I know how much you guys avoid talking about Adam in front of me. I also know that you're constantly questioning my sanity."

That shut them up.

"If you don't believe me then you can come and sit with me in class tomorrow."

Dad's eyes widened. "He's in your
class?
"

"Do you have to repeat everything I say?" I didn't wait for his answer as I ran up to my room.

I threw myself on my bed and buried my head in a pillow. I wanted to scream, I wanted to throw things. I even wanted to hurt someone. I was angry, but I wasn't really sure why.

Maybe I was angry that Eric was out and about making people mistake him for Adam, while the real one was stuck somewhere in the middle of the woods. It wasn't fair.

The sound of the door creaking open made me bury my head deeper in my pillow. If only I could bury myself literally.

"Go away," I said as I felt someone sit on the edge of my bed.

"What you did back there," Mom said. "That was rude."

"I'm sorry," I said, the words muffled by the pillow.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

There was a pause, and I felt Mom's hand on my shoulder.

"We don't think you're insane, honey."

I lifted my head from the pillow to look at her. "So I'm guessing that the shrink threat was just a bluff?"

"Well..." she scrambled for words. "I wouldn’t put it that way."

“I thought so.” I pushed myself up into a sitting position, the sudden movement making the room spin. I closed my eyes and waited until my sense of equilibrium returned. When I reopened them, Mom was staring at me.

"Do you want to leave town?" she asked. Her tone was casual, like she was just asking about the weather, a far cry from the sudden emotion I felt that made my stomach clench. 

"No, why would you ask that?" I could've said yes if she asked me the question in the days after the accident. That was the time when leaving Highcrest would've sounded like a salvation from the hell I was going through.

"For the obvious reasons, Kat."

"I'm okay, Mom. How many times do I need to say it?"

"Honestly, I do agree with you on that one. But with the sudden turn of events..." her voice trailed off and I noticed her lower lip tremble.

"You mean, Eric?" I asked.

Mom shuddered, obviously still shaken from her ghost encounter. "The similarities are quite... something don't you think?"

"They're identical twins, Mom," I reminded her.

"Which makes us worry."

"About what?" I asked, though I already knew.

She raised an eyebrow, and pressed her lips together. 

"Oh come on, Mom!" I didn't want to acknowledge it, but I had to assure her that it would never happen. "He's not a replacement for Adam!"

"I don't remember saying anything like that," she said, walking over to the door.

"It's not going to happen, Mom. I'm not even talking to him."

"I'm not saying that. We just don't want you getting hurt again," she said. She watched me with the same protective gaze she often used when I was little, and for a moment, I felt like a young girl who needed to be protected from the harsh realities of life.

It wasn't necessary though. I hated Eric, and I was damn sure that I could protect myself from him. I returned Mom's gaze with a firm resolution. "I won't. I'm sure of it."

Chapter Nine

It was Saturday, but I managed to wake up before seven. I rolled over to my side, trying to go back to sleep until I remembered that since it was a weekend, I was scheduled for an early morning jog.

I stretched my limbs as far as they would go, waking up every joint in my body. I hated running, but it was an excuse to go out and meet Adam. At first my parents were doubtful, and I remembered looking over my shoulder to make sure they weren't following me. Even Sara began asking questions. Not that I couldn't blame her.

We used to hang out all the time when I wasn’t with Adam. And now that he was gone, I knew that she was expecting us to spend time together like we used to. It was a good thing she was busy propping up her college applications with extra credits. At least that would keep her off my back−−for now.

I jumped out of bed and grabbed a shirt and a fresh pair of sweatpants. I would've taken a quick shower to make myself presentable for Adam, but that might only raise suspicions. I ended up brushing my teeth and washing my face instead.

Dad was already up when I reached the dining room. I remembered snapping at him last night, and I realized that I hadn't apologized to him.