Unconditional Love (19 page)

He gave me a weak smile and said, “I’m pretty damn sure that the person who loves you and worries about you is going to start asking questions about where you’re going.”

Loves me? Does Azurdee love me?
I knew I was falling in love with her and I was pretty sure she wanted to tell me she loved me the other night, but she didn’t. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

“Skip, I know how to block shit from my head. I won’t let my relationship with Azurdee jeopardize my job.”

He gave me a weak nod and said, “We’ll see.”

“So three weeks in Israel. Is Ricker coming with Philips?” I asked.

Skip smiled and asked, “Do you want him or you want a SEAL?”

I didn’t even have to think about it. “A SEAL. Ricker always has his head up his ass.”

“All right. Let’s hope this mission runs smoothly. I have a feeling they’re going to be expecting trouble, so it’s fast in…fast out.”

I nodded my head and said, “If that’s all, I’m going to be heading back home.”

He laughed. “No you’re not, soldier. You’re heading out tonight to Afghanistan. You’ll meet up with your SEAL partner and then head out the next morning. Sorry buddy, there is no going home.”

I nodded my head and turned to walk out the door. “Lark?”

I stopped and turned around, “Yes, sir?”

“I really hope you meant what you said earlier. I’d hate to have you or a team member get hurt because your head isn’t in the game.”

I nodded. “I promise, Skip. I’ve got this.”

I opened the door and made my way outside. I got in the rental car and pulled away. Once I was off the base and a few blocks away I pulled over, got out of the car and started yelling.

“Motherfucking son of a bitch!” I put my hands on my knees and took in a few deep breaths. I stood up and began pacing. I ran my hand through my hair and tried to calm my beating heart.

“I didn’t kiss her good-bye. I didn’t fucking kiss her good-bye!” I yelled out. I got back into the car and by the time I got to my hotel I was calmer. I told the front desk I would be staying another night and after the clerk flirted for a bit, she finally had me booked for another night. I smiled politely and made my way to my room. I got out of my uniform and pulled on a T-shirt. I picked up my cell phone and hit Azurdee’s number.

“Hello handsome. You snuck away again last night.”

I smiled when I heard her voice. “Yeah, I’m not really good at saying good-bye.”

There was silence for a few seconds before she said, “Thank you for the rose, and my note.”

I closed my eyes and tried to picture her smelling the rose. What her face looked like while reading the note.

“I’m sorry I didn’t wake you up before I left.”

“It’s okay. I understand. Are you still coming back tonight?”

I dropped my head back and cursed inwardly. I hated lying to her. “I thought I was, but it looks like we’re heading out of town. I probably won’t be back for three weeks.”

“Okay,” she whispered. “Lark?”

“Yeah, baby?”

She let out a sigh and said, “I’m not asking for information from you. I knew what your life was like when I stepped into this relationship. I just need to…I mean…please just tell me what you’re doing is safe.”

I pulled the phone away from my ear and squeezed my eyes together tightly.

I put the phone back to my ear and said, “I’ll be back in three weeks,
mi amor
. I promise you.”

I heard a small sob escape from her lips. “Lark, I’m falling in love with you.”

I sucked in a breath of air.

“I’m not asking or expecting you to say anything back. I just wanted you to know that. I have to go. Will you call or text me when you can?”

I nodded my head even though I knew she couldn’t see me. “Yes. I’ll text you as much as I can and call you tomorrow before I leave.”

“Okay. I’ll see ya soon.”

I wanted to tell her I was falling in love with her too, but it wouldn’t come out.

“I’ll see you soon,
mi amor
.”

She hung up before I could say anything else. I tossed my phone behind me on the bed and decided to go for a run. As I got changed, my cell phone went off with a text message. I quickly grabbed it hoping it was Azurdee.

Unfortunately, it was Sherry.

Sherry: So are you up for a get together tonight?

Me: Sorry Sherry, I’m afraid our partnership is going to have to cease. I have a girlfriend now and I intend on being faithful to her.

Sherry: The brunette you were with the other night?

Me: Yes.

Sherry: I had a feeling something was going on when you kept turning me down. Well let me know when it doesn’t work out. I’ll be waiting.

I rolled my eyes and hit delete. I set out for my run and for the first time since Nikki, my heart longed for another person. The only question I had was would I be able to check my heart at the door when I needed to?

“Azurdee, darling. I swear your chocolate croissants get better every time I eat them,” Mrs. Hamilton said as she took the bag I was handing her. “I can’t wait for the restaurant to open. I’m so excited for you. When are you planning on opening?”

I smiled and said, “I’m hoping maybe March if everything goes well. April at the latest.”

“How wonderful. I’m sure I’ll see you, but if not, have a wonderful Christmas.”

I walked her to the door and said, “Don’t forget, we will be closed for the whole week of Christmas. I’ll be out of town.”

“That’s right. Oh dear. I’ll have to pull out the old coffee pot I guess.”

We both laughed and she walked out the door and then I shut it and locked it. I turned and looked at Ralph, who began laughing. I shot him a dirty look and pushed past him. If I didn’t love him like a brother, he would have been fired months ago.

“My God, Dee. You practically pushed her out the door. What in the world is wrong with you this week?”

“Nothing. I’m fine,” I said as I gritted my teeth. I wasn’t fine. I was going crazy out of my mind. I hadn’t heard from Lark in over a week. He was a week late in getting home and the thoughts running through my mind were driving me insane. I even called Scott and had him come up with some lame excuse to contact Lark’s parents to make sure they hadn’t heard any bad news.

“You need to get laid,” Ralph said. I turned and looked at him. My mouth dropped open and I said, “Excuse me?”

He shrugged his shoulders and repeated, “You need to get laid. When is your boyfriend due back?”

How Ralph even knew I had a boyfriend was still a mystery. “How do you even know I’m dating anyone?”

He rolled his eyes as he began cleaning up. “Please. Girl, you came walking in here almost two months ago with your cheeks flushed and pep in your step. Anyone could see you’d either won the lottery or just had one hell of a night getting fucked.”

I threw a rag at him and started laughing. “Oh my God! When did you start talking like that?”

It was his turn to roll his eyes at me. “Please, my partner probably has the dirtiest mouth you could ever imagine.”

My mind flashed back to Lark’s last phone call to me.

“I miss you,” I whispered.

“Te extra
ń
o, mi amor.”

I let out a sigh. I loved when Lark spoke to me in Spanish.

“Are you turned on?” Lark asked in a hushed voice.

“More than you could know.”

“Wait till I get back. I’m going to bury myself so fucking deep inside you, you’ll know I’ve been there for days.”

“Lark.” I squeezed my legs together to control the throbbing.

“God I wish I could hear you make yourself come.” It sounded like he had gotten up and walked away. I bit down on my lower lip and let out a sigh.

“Can you?” I asked.

He let out a growl and said, “No. Don’t fucking touch yourself either. I don’t want you making yourself come until I get back. I want to hear you scream out my name.”

“Okay,” I barely said.

“Promise me, Azurdee.”

“I promise you, I won’t touch myself until you come back.”

I was snapped out of my memory by Ralph slapping his hands together directly in my face. “Girlfriend. Where in the heck were you just now? I don’t think I’ve ever seen that smile on your face before or seen that color on your cheeks.”

I placed my hands on my cheeks. I shook my head and pushed him out of the way. “Listen, I’m exhausted. I’ve been here since five this morning. Do you mind if I take off?”

“Have at it, darling. Get some sleep, Dee, you look like shit.”

I grumbled out a curse word and made my way to the back. Yep. If he weren’t like a brother to me he’d be gone.

I stood in front of the mirror looking at myself. My hair was pulled up into a ponytail. I had on my favorite Victoria’s Secret boyfriend sweatpants and the only reason I had them on was because of their damn name. I had taken one of Lark’s T-shirts from his place before I left and had slept in it each night. I even went out and bought some of his cologne so that I could spray it on the shirt when I could no longer smell him.

Yep. I’m totally in high school again. I crawled into bed and grabbed my Kindle. I didn’t even turn it on. I set it back down and grabbed my phone. Nothing. No missed calls, no text messages, no voicemails. I checked my email too. Nothing.

Lark. Please let me know you’re okay.

I slipped under the covers and pulled them up around my neck. It was a cold December night and I didn’t want to start a fire. I didn’t even want to turn on my heater. I just wanted to bury myself under my quilt and pray that Lark was okay.

After staring at the ceiling for two hours I finally felt myself drifting off to sleep. I’d slept like shit the last week and it was catching up to me. I closed my eyes and drifted off into a deep sleep.

“
Mi amor
. Wake up.”

“Hmmm…” I was dreaming of Lark. He was sitting next to me in my bed trying to wake me up but I was so tired. I just couldn’t open my eyes. If only he were really here.

“Azurdee, baby, wake up.”

I felt his warm lips kissing my face and I let out a soft moan. “Lark,” I whispered.

Then I felt his lips on mine. I reached up and pushed my hand through his hair.
God this dream felt so real.